Ancient Roman Jokes

47 ancient roman jokes and hilarious ancient roman puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ancient roman that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Ancient Roman Short Jokes

Short ancient roman jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ancient roman humour may include short ancient rome jokes also.

  1. If a wealthy ancient Roman had a private bathroom on the sixth floor of his home... ...did that make it a VI P room?
  2. Ancient Roman walks into a bar… Says to the bartender i will have a martinus
    Bartender says you mean martini
    The roman says no, just one
  3. Ancient Romans believed the 54th birthday was the time to indulge in all your crazy impulses. You only LIV once.
  4. A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times, New Roman.
  5. What did the ancient Roman weatherman say when his emperor asked for a forecast? "Hail, Caesar"
  6. The ancient Romans would be saddened to know how many of their advances we'd forgotten. Aquaducts, fast food, underfloor heating... But hey, it's all water over the bridge.
  7. The Ancient Greeks always thought something was off with the Romans Like their heads were caput.
  8. Ancient Romans were pretty backwards I mean, it even took them a while to figure out how to count time for Christ's sake!
  9. Why were Ancient Romans expected to date a crazy person in childhood but break-up with them before age 9? Because at 9 one needs to be followed by an X.
  10. (A joke from the ancient Romans) The Christians are so Poor! How Poor are they? The Christians are so Poor, they Only Have ONE GOD!

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Ancient Roman One Liners

Which ancient roman one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ancient roman? I can suggest the ones about old roman and ancient greek.

  1. What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair? Caesars.
  2. Why did the ancient Roman police arrest an Eagle? Because he was... Aquila.
  3. Many people think the Romans invented Vaseline That was ancient grease
  4. What language did ancient Roman police speak? Pig Latin
  5. What kind of exercise did the ancient Romans do? Pontius Pilates
  6. What is the favourite game of ancient roman people? Rock Papers CAAAEEEESSSSAAAAAARRRS.
  7. What did the ancient Romans say when they got laid? *Veni*
  8. What do you call ancient Roman pork Igpay atinlay
  9. what was the ancient romans favorite alcoholic beverage? sham-pagan
  10. What did ancient Romans say? There will be lead!
  11. Why does the ancient bug fall in love so easily? It's a hopeless Roman tic
  12. Why did ancient Roman build the hut? Cuz it's pizza hut
  13. How did ancient Romans sleep By resting their heads on their pillar
  14. How did ancient Romans separate the men from the boys? With crowbars.
  15. What do you call a book about love in ancient Rome? A romans novel!

Hilarious Fun Ancient Roman Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about ancient roman you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ancient jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ancient roman pranks.

Why did ancient Romans not exchange high fives?

They didn't want to spread h**....

What's an Ancient Roman's favorite s**... position?


Ancient cultures had interesting and unique philosophies

For example, if you asked the question: What separates man from animals? You would get vastly different answers.
The Greeks would say Philosophy and Law
The Chinese would say Morals and Art
The Romans would say The Mediterranean and the Danube

We all know that Barney the Dinosaur is a LOVABLE PURPLE DINOSAUR.

In ancient Rome, there was no letter U, so they used a V instead, making Barney a LOVABLE PVRPLE DINOSAVR.
Now eliminate all the letters that are not Roman numerals. We are left with LVL VL DIV.
Next, let's refresh your brain. I=1, V=5, L=50, D=500.
When we add it all up, we get 50+5+50+5+50+500+1+5=6**....
And there you have it. Mathematical proof that Barney the Dinosaur is Satan.

can someone explain this ancient Roman joke

Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: 'Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?' 'No, your Highness,' he replied, 'but my father was.'

Ancient Roman galley

The whip guy gets up next to the drum guy and addresses the galley slaves.
"I have good news and I have bad news."
"The good news is all you guys get extra bread this morning."
"The bad news is this afternoon the Captain wants to go water skiing."

The Ancient Greeks invented s**....

The Ancient Romans discovered women.

The ancient Greeks could have invented s**...

The ancient Greeks could have invented s**..., but it was the Romans who taught them to use it for women.

How do ancient Romans curse?


What would have they called Hillary Clinton in the senate of the ancient Roman Republic ?


Only people who paid attention in history class will remember...

What work of ancient law is the Roman Twelve Tables similar to?
The Code of Harambe