Ancient Roman Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Ancient Roman jokes. Read ancient roman jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) that will make you laugh out loud.

Enjoy this list of puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these ancient roman puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Hilarious Fun Ancient Roman Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends

If a wealthy ancient Roman had a private bathroom on the sixth floor of his home...

...did that make it a VI P room?

Why did ancient Romans not exchange high fives?

They didn't want to spread h**....

What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?


What's an Ancient Roman's favorite s**... position?


Ancient Roman walks into a bar…

Says to the bartender i will have a martinus

Bartender says you mean martini

The roman says no, just one

Ancient Romans believed the 54th birthday was the time to indulge in all your crazy impulses.

You only LIV once.

Ancient cultures had interesting and unique philosophies

For example, if you asked the question: What separates man from animals? You would get vastly different answers.

The Greeks would say Philosophy and Law

The Chinese would say Morals and Art

The Romans would say The Mediterranean and the Danube

We all know that Barney the Dinosaur is a LOVABLE PURPLE DINOSAUR.

In ancient Rome, there was no letter U, so they used a V instead, making Barney a LOVABLE PVRPLE DINOSAVR.

Now eliminate all the letters that are not Roman numerals. We are left with LVL VL DIV.

Next, let's refresh your brain. I=1, V=5, L=50, D=500.

When we add it all up, we get 50+5+50+5+50+500+1+5=6**....

And there you have it. Mathematical proof that Barney the Dinosaur is Satan.

can someone explain this ancient Roman joke

Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: 'Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?' 'No, your Highness,' he replied, 'but my father was.'

Why did the ancient Roman police arrest an Eagle?

Because he was... Aquila.

Many people think the Romans invented Vaseline

That was ancient grease

You can explore ancient roman reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ancient roman dad jokes. There are also ancient roman puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,

New Roman.

What language did ancient Roman police speak?

Pig Latin

What did the ancient Roman weatherman say when his emperor asked for a forecast?

"Hail, Caesar"

What kind of exercise did the ancient Romans do?

Pontius Pilates

The ancient Romans would be saddened to know how many of their advances we'd forgotten. Aquaducts, fast food, underfloor heating...

But hey, it's all water over the bridge.

What is the favourite game of ancient roman people?


What did the ancient Romans say when they got laid?


Ancient Roman galley

The whip guy gets up next to the drum guy and addresses the galley slaves.
"I have good news and I have bad news."
"The good news is all you guys get extra bread this morning."
"The bad news is this afternoon the Captain wants to go water skiing."

What do you call ancient Roman pork

Igpay atinlay

The Ancient Greeks invented s**....

The Ancient Romans discovered women.

what was the ancient romans favorite alcoholic beverage?


The ancient Greeks could have invented s**...

The ancient Greeks could have invented s**..., but it was the Romans who taught them to use it for women.

The Ancient Greeks always thought something was off with the Romans

Like their heads were caput.

What did ancient Romans say?

There will be lead!

Ancient Romans were pretty backwards

I mean, it even took them a while to figure out how to count time for Christ's sake!

Why does the ancient bug fall in love so easily?

It's a hopeless Roman tic

How do ancient Romans curse?


Why were Ancient Romans expected to date a crazy person in childhood but break-up with them before age 9?

Because at 9 one needs to be followed by an X.

(A joke from the ancient Romans) The Christians are so Poor! How Poor are they?

The Christians are so Poor, they Only Have ONE GOD!

What would have they called Hillary Clinton in the senate of the ancient Roman Republic ?


Only people who paid attention in history class will remember...

What work of ancient law is the Roman Twelve Tables similar to?

The Code of Harambe

Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. Many of the ancient roman puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate.

We suggest you to use only working ancient roman piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh.

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