The Best 35 Ancient Greek Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Ancient Greek jokes. There are some ancient greek phoenician jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these ancient greek ancient egyptian puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Ancient Greek Jokes and Puns

How do you say 'motherfucker' in ancient greek?

Oedipus.

Have you heard of the Ancient Greek hero, Bophades?

He was a lot like Achilles, he had only one weakness, but instead of his heel, it was his groin. You may have heard of Achilles' heel but have you heard of Bophades' nuts?

In Ancient Greek mythology, Chiron was a half-horse, half-human doctor.

He was the Centaur for Disease Control.

Made this one up at work today.

There once was an ancient Greek philosopher that dedicated his life to hypothesize the perfect way to cool off on a hot summer day.

His name was Popsicles.

jokes about ancient greek

I got caught faking my way through an ancient history course

I failed because Greek mythology is my Achilles horse


TIL About the ancient Greek hero Boephades

Like Achilles, he was invulnerable except for one part of his body. Except instead of his ankle, it was his groin.

You've heard of Achilles heel, but did you know about

Boephades nuts?

"Gymnasium" in ancient Greek means "naked exercise"…

…but try telling that to the receptionist at the health club…

An abderite sees an eunuch alogside a woman

He asks him: "is this your wife?". The eunuch answers: "eunuchs can't have wives".

"So is it your daughter?".

I browsed through Philogelos ("Love of Laughter") which is the oldest joke collection that has survived. It is written in ancient Greek. Also, it was pretty funny when I dicovered that an Abderite was used inside Greek's jokes as an archtype for an idiot (Abderia was a city in Thrace).

An old joke

The man was trying to learn swimming and one day was about to get drowned in the pool during practice; he was saved by one of those helping him at the last moment. As they got him out of the water, he looked at the others and said: I will never get in water again until i learn swimming!

Ps: this is an ancient greek joke from a 4th-century book of collection of jokes, so…

A terrible hairdresser was known for cutting customers' scalps with scissors.

One such customer, fed up and covered in wounds, told the hairdresser off.

The hairdresser snapped back, "Hey buddy, show some appreciation! You only paid $5 for this haircut, and I've already used $10 worth of bandages!"

\- From "Philogelos", an ancient Greek joke book dated to around 200 AD.

Christians say "Jesus"

Ancient Greek women say "Hey Zeus"

You can explore ancient greek greeks reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ancient greek mesopotamia dad jokes. There are also ancient greek puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


How did the Ancient Greeks pay for parking?

They put money in Demeter.

I learned that the vasectomy was invented by the Ancient Greek physician Euclipides.

Euclipides nuts.

How did ancient Greeks keep tabs on their infants while they slept at night?

They used a baby minotaur.

[Historical] What do the Persians, young boys and spiced lamb meat have in common?

Getting speared by the Ancient Greeks

Ancient Greek name translation

I have been doing some research into the meaning of my name.

I was delighted to find that in Ancient Greek my second name translates to 'Attractive to women'.

Unfortunately my first name translates to 'Not very'.

An Ancient Greek Hero

Have you guys heard of the ancient Greek hero, Bophades? He was a lot like Achilles - he had just one weakness. Except instead of his heel, it was his groin. You may have have heard of Achilles' heel , but have you heard of Bophades' Nuts ?

Just got kicked out of a Greek themed costume party

apparently coming dressed as an ancient Greek olympian 'wasn't appropriate'

How did the ancient Greek rabbit move around at night?

He had a Hoplite.


What unit of measurement did the ancient greeks use to measure their crops?

Demeter.

CUT TO THE PAST

Ian is a barber and one day after servicing a haircut, a customer instead of money, gives him a crystal sphere and Ian, not wanting to argue and especially liking the sphere, accepts it.

He presses the Sphere and suddenly he's transported to ancient Egypt with all the scissor and blades in hand.

The Greeks spot him and yell 'BarberIan'.

Have you heard of the, great, ancient Greek philosopher Mediocrates?

His primary philosophical viewpoint is "eeeeehhh"

A brief history of Ancient Greek culture

Greece before Alexander the Great: Kinda nistic.

Greece after Alexander the Great: Hella nistic.

The Ancient Greeks invented sex.

The Ancient Romans discovered women.

Two robbers broke into the Smithsonian today and stole an ancient Greek calendar.

They both got 6 months.

Warning, you'll only get this if you understand a rudimentary amount of ancient Greek.

When an ancient Athenian was asked whether he preferred the sand or the sea, he replied:

Tha latta

The ancient Greeks could have invented sex

The ancient Greeks could have invented sex, but it was the Romans who taught them to use it for women.

The Ancient Greeks always thought something was off with the Romans

Like their heads were caput.

I was reading a FB comment thread, and suddenly someone said "I DEMAND TO READ THE ANCIENT GREEK COMEDY 'THE FROGS.'"

I was like, well, that Aeschylated quickly.


What toothpaste brand did the Ancient Greeks use?

Laurel-B

What do you call an ancient Greek throwing sport?

Discus.

TIL that when Diogenes, the ancient Greek philosopher, noticed a prostitute's son throwing rocks at a crowd, he said, "Careful, son. Don't hit your father."

My gender studies class has a module on sexism in Ancient Greek Tragedy.

We're looking at problematic portrayals of women in the Medea.

Was rooting for my friend who was collecting the works of a prolific ancient greek artist

found out the name of this artist is "Circa"


Did you know gullible came from ancient Greek?

The prefix 'gulli' meaning 'believing' and the suffix 'ble' meaning 'ble-shit'.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the ancient greek babylonian jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working ancient greek mesopotamian piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes