Ancient Greek Jokes

46 ancient greek jokes and hilarious ancient greek puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ancient greek that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Ancient Greek Short Jokes

Short ancient greek jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ancient greek humour may include short ancient greece jokes also.

  1. In Ancient Greek mythology, Chiron was a half-horse, half-human doctor. He was the Centaur for Disease Control.
  2. Made this one up at work today. There once was an ancient Greek philosopher that dedicated his life to hypothesize the perfect way to cool off on a hot summer day.
    His name was Popsicles.
  3. I got caught faking my way through an ancient history course I failed because Greek mythology is my achilles horse
  4. I learned that the vasectomy was invented by the Ancient Greek physician Euclipides. Euclipides nuts.
  5. How did ancient Greeks keep tabs on their infants while they slept at night? They used a baby minotaur.
  6. [Historical] What do the Persians, young boys and spiced lamb meat have in common? Getting speared by the Ancient Greeks
  7. Just got kicked out of a Greek themed costume party apparently coming dressed as an ancient Greek olympian 'wasn't appropriate'
  8. Have you heard of the, great, ancient Greek philosopher Mediocrates? His primary philosophical viewpoint is "eeeeehhh"
  9. A brief history of Ancient Greek culture Greece before Alexander the Great: Kinda nistic.
    Greece after Alexander the Great: Hella nistic.
  10. Two robbers broke into the Smithsonian today and stole an ancient Greek calendar. They both got 6 months.

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Ancient Greek One Liners

Which ancient greek one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ancient greek? I can suggest the ones about ancient and greek mythology.

  1. Christians say "Jesus" Ancient Greek women say "Hey Zeus"
  2. How did the Ancient Greeks pay for parking? They put money in Demeter.
  3. How did the ancient Greek rabbit move around at night? He had a Hoplite.
  4. What unit of measurement did the ancient greeks use to measure their crops? Demeter.
  5. What toothpaste brand did the Ancient Greeks use? Laurel-B
  6. What do you call an ancient Greek throwing sport? Discus.
  7. Have you heard of the ancient Greek hero, Bophades?
  8. An ancient greek statue goes to Hawaii. He said, "This looks strangely familiar."
  9. Why did the Ancient Greeks build their fortresses on columns? To defend against rows!
  10. How do you say m**...' in ancient greek? Oedipus.
  11. The Ancient Greeks invented s**.... The Ancient Romans discovered women.

Ancient Greek Philosophers Jokes

Here is a list of funny ancient greek philosophers jokes and even better ancient greek philosophers puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • TIL that when Diogenes, the ancient Greek philosopher, noticed a p**...'s son throwing rocks at a crowd, he said, "Careful, son. Don't hit your father."

Amusing Ancient Greek Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about ancient greek you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ancient roman jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ancient greek pranks.

Have you heard of the Ancient Greek hero, Bophades?

He was a lot like Achilles, he had only one weakness, but instead of his heel, it was his groin. You may have heard of Achilles' heel but have you heard of Bophades' nuts?

TIL About the ancient Greek hero Boephades

Like Achilles, he was invulnerable except for one part of his body. Except instead of his ankle, it was his groin.
You've heard of Achilles heel, but did you know about
Boephades nuts?

"Gymnasium" in ancient Greek means "n**... exercise"…

…but try telling that to the receptionist at the health club…

An abderite sees an e**... alogside a woman

He asks him: "is this your wife?". The e**... answers: "eunuchs can't have wives".
"So is it your daughter?".
I browsed through Philogelos ("Love of Laughter") which is the oldest joke collection that has survived. It is written in ancient Greek. Also, it was pretty funny when I dicovered that an Abderite was used inside Greek's jokes as an archtype for an idiot (Abderia was a city in Thrace).

Ancient cultures had interesting and unique philosophies

For example, if you asked the question: What separates man from animals? You would get vastly different answers.
The Greeks would say Philosophy and Law
The Chinese would say Morals and Art
The Romans would say The Mediterranean and the Danube

An old joke

The man was trying to learn swimming and one day was about to get drowned in the pool during practice; he was saved by one of those helping him at the last moment. As they got him out of the water, he looked at the others and said: I will never get in water again until i learn swimming!
Ps: this is an ancient greek joke from a 4th-century book of collection of jokes, so…

A terrible hairdresser was known for cutting customers' scalps with scissors.

One such customer, fed up and covered in wounds, told the hairdresser off.
The hairdresser snapped back, "Hey buddy, show some appreciation! You only paid $5 for this haircut, and I've already used $10 worth of bandages!"
\- From "Philogelos", an ancient Greek joke book dated to around 200 AD.

Ancient Greek name translation

I have been doing some research into the meaning of my name.
I was delighted to find that in Ancient Greek my second name translates to 'Attractive to women'.
Unfortunately my first name translates to 'Not very'.

An Ancient Greek Hero

Have you guys heard of the ancient Greek hero, Bophades? He was a lot like Achilles - he had just one weakness. Except instead of his heel, it was his groin. You may have have heard of Achilles' heel , but have you heard of Bophades' Nuts ?


Ian is a barber and one day after servicing a haircut, a customer instead of money, gives him a crystal sphere and Ian, not wanting to argue and especially liking the sphere, accepts it.
He presses the Sphere and suddenly he's transported to ancient Egypt with all the scissor and blades in hand.
The Greeks spot him and yell 'BarberIan'.

Warning, you'll only get this if you understand a rudimentary amount of ancient Greek.

When an ancient Athenian was asked whether he preferred the sand or the sea, he replied:
Tha latta

The ancient Greeks could have invented s**...

The ancient Greeks could have invented s**..., but it was the Romans who taught them to use it for women.

The Ancient Greeks always thought something was off with the Romans

Like their heads were caput.

I was reading a FB comment thread, and suddenly someone said "I DEMAND TO READ THE ANCIENT GREEK COMEDY 'THE FROGS.'"

I was like, well, that Aeschylated quickly.

Did you know gullible came from ancient Greek?

The prefix 'gulli' meaning 'believing' and the suffix 'ble' meaning 'ble-s**...'.

jokes about ancient greek