Hilarious Ancient Egyptians Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
Why did ancient Egyptians shave their heads?
To be more pharaohdynamic.
I got my back adjusted a practitioner of ancient egyptian medicine
A Cairo-practor
I keep having bad dreams about an ancient Egyptian mummy attacking me while I'm cooking. I call them my...
Rameses kitchen nightmares.
Did you hear about the ancient Egyptian man that launched a successful stone quarry business?
Turns out it was a pyramid scheme all along.
Ancient Egyptian architect: "Do you know how to build a pyramid?"
Ancient Egyptian builder: "Well, err yeah, up to a point."
I was offered to invest in restoring an ancient Egyptian architecture
I didn't reply, it sounded like a pyramid scheme
I didn't realize the ancient Egyptians were so concerned with information security.
Everybody who was important got encrypted.
Did you hear that archaeologists discovered an unusual ancient Egyptian tomb recently?
The body was preserved with chocolate and nuts.
Experts believe it to be the tomb of Pharaoh Roche!
What was the most common reason ancient Egyptians would cry?
They missed their mummies.
Why did the ancient egyptians all love Nissan?
Because Nissan Sentra.
My wife says I'm going to Duat for this one....
What did the ancient egyptians call their milfs?
Mummies
You can explore ancient egyptians reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ancient egyptians dad jokes. There are also ancient egyptians puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What did the ancient Egyptians wipe their butts with?
Poopyrus.
Whats the difference between an ancient Egyptian Prince and a Kardashian?
The Egyptian knew from the start that their daddy would become a mummy.
An ancient Egyptian architect once asked, Do you know how to build a pyramid?
Well, uh yeah, up to a point, replied the Ancient Egyptian builder
(Believe it or not my toddler just told me that joke. I'm so proud)
What do you call an ancient Egyptian cook?
Gordon Rameses.
What operating system did the ancient Egyptian Pharaohs use?
Ubuntutankhamun
So these two ancient Egyptian brothers are mummifying their father.
After several hours one of the brothers realises how long they've been working. So he turns to his brother and says "Hey, let's wrap this up."
A new discovery is made pertaining to the ethnicity of Ancient Egyptian Kings
Archaeologists have discovered that the kings of Ancient Egypt were in fact black. Upon unwrapping the gold sarcophagus they found the body of a dark chocolate skinned man. The legendary Pharaoh Rocher.
Ancient Egyptians who worked to preserve the Pharaoh for the afterlife are known for having being very good businessmen. In fact, they even invented what we know today as the "return policy."
It was know back then as the "mummy back guarantee..."
Mummy DNA shows that the ancients don't have much in common with modern Egyptians
But at least they have Tutankhamun
Why did ancient Egyptians love beans?
They made Tootin' Common.
TIL Ancient Egyptian pyramids didn't have doorbells, they had horns instead.
You just used to toot and come in.
Did you know that ancient Egyptians were related by their farts?
It's true. They had a toot in common.
If Miley Cyrus lived during ancient Egyptian times...
Her name would be Miley Osiris!
Or if she was Irish Egyptian, Miley O'Cyrus!!
(I'll show myself out)
How did the Ancient Egyptians secure their Boats?
With an Ankhor
What brought the can of beans and ancient Egyptian together?
They had a Tutankhamun.
-I'll show myself out.
How do you know ancient Egyptians were black?
Because they never dig up daddies.
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot and come in.
What were ancient Egyptian teenagers like?
Ankhsty
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
How did ancient Egyptian monarchs attract potential mates?
By using their "pharoah-moans"
Why did the Ancient Egyptians build Great Pyramids?
Because their Great Igloos melted.
What did the ancient Egyptians say when they didn't get into the afterlife?
d**....
