Charming Humor Ancient Egypt Jokes with Loads of Fun
What was the biggest scam in Ancient Egypt?
A Pyramid Scheme.
Excuse me, are you interested in courses on ancient Egypt?
I promise it's not a pyramid scheme.
Back in ancient Egypt, the standardized units of measurements were based off the length of the current pharoah's body parts. The pointer finger would be one unit of measurement, the forearm another, and so on.
It could be noted, the pharoah was the ruler.
Ancient Egypt must have been super progressive
I mean, all their daddies ended up turning into mummies.
My friend Victor is a historian
He invited me to a party at his house and started introducing me to all his colleagues.
This is Victor, he's a historian of the renaissance. The guy next to him is Victor Jr, he's a historian of ancient Egypt. And those two guys over there are Victor and Victor, they are doing great work on Mesopotamian farming practices.
I was like wow, history really is written by you guys huh?
A new discovery is made pertaining to the ethnicity of Ancient Egyptian Kings
Archaeologists have discovered that the kings of Ancient Egypt were in fact black. Upon unwrapping the gold sarcophagus they found the body of a dark chocolate skinned man. The legendary Pharaoh Rocher.
CUT TO THE PAST
Ian is a barber and one day after servicing a haircut, a customer instead of money, gives him a crystal sphere and Ian, not wanting to argue and especially liking the sphere, accepts it.
He presses the Sphere and suddenly he's transported to ancient Egypt with all the scissor and blades in hand.
The Greeks spot him and yell 'BarberIan'.
Back in 1950's Egypt...
Nasser wanted to know the age of a ancient statue that had been recently excavated. He went up to his KGB advisers and asked if their technicians could help. Just a few hours later, one of the KGB men told Nasser "The statue is just about 5,000 years old." Nasser was very impressed and asked "How did you Russians figure that out? My best archaeologists were dumbfounded by that one!" The Russian told Nasser "He confessed."
A man in ancient Egypt commits a crime. The Pharaoh says "The penalty for your crime is death." "How would like to die?"
"Death by old age"
Facebook is a lot like ancient Egypt
People write on walls, use emojis, and worship cats.
Why was kid afraid of his mother in ancient Egypt?
Because she's mummy
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Why did the ancient Mesopotamian woman have a lot of kids?
Every man in Egypt had seen her Fertile Crescent.
What famous model controlled water in ancient Egypt palaces?
Pharaoh Faucet
In ancient Egypt when Men decided to abandon their families...
They would say they were going out for ziggurats and never return.
Why did the financial system collapse in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes.
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
Who was the fattest Pharaoh of ancient Egypt?
Hippo-Ptolemy