Ancient Chinese Jokes

23 ancient chinese jokes and hilarious ancient chinese puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ancient chinese that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Ancient Chinese Short Jokes

Short ancient chinese jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ancient chinese humour may include short chinese people jokes also.

  1. How are two gay guys who are perfect for each other similar to an Ancient Chinese Emperor? They both had a mandate from heaven.
  2. What do you get when you cross ancient Chinese philosophy with modern American derivatives markets? Dao Jones.
  3. An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil.
    Chuck Norris killed that man.
  4. What's the best way to win Asia Idol? I would tell you, but it's an ancient chinese seacrest.
  5. I decided to try the ancient Chinese practice of using needles to get rid of back pain The h**... worked a treat for me.
  6. Ancient Chinese proverb Ancient Chinese proverb say man with hole in pocket feel c**... all day

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Ancient Chinese One Liners

Which ancient chinese one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ancient chinese? I can suggest the ones about china man and ancient.

  1. Ancient Chinese proverb: Waitress who sit on lepers lap, always keep tip.
  2. Ancient Chinese proverb says Man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.
  3. Have you hear about the ancient Chinese technique for winning at video games?
  4. Ancient Chinese Proverb Once bitten, twice shy.
    Once dragged off, one runs back.
  5. Where did ancient Chinese people shop? The Great Walmart.

Ancient Chinese Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about ancient chinese you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chinese language jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ancient chinese pranks.

An ancient Chinese joke, at least a thousand years old.

A man visits his sick friend, and finds him to now be well and energetic. "How wonderful!", his friend says, "What happened?". "Dr. Chang is the cause of my health.", he says gratefully. "Dr. Chang, what did he do?". "Well, Dr. Li came and gave me a special diet. And I got sicker. Then Dr. Wong came and gave me bitter herbs, and I got even worse. On death's door I called for Dr. Chang." "And what did Dr. Chang do?", his friend asks in wonder. The man replies happily, "Dr. Chang did the best of all, he didn't come, so I got well!"

Ancient cultures had interesting and unique philosophies

For example, if you asked the question: What separates man from animals? You would get vastly different answers.
The Greeks would say Philosophy and Law
The Chinese would say Morals and Art
The Romans would say The Mediterranean and the Danube

A Jewish couple visit China

A Jewish couple is visiting China, and as they sit down to dinner they begin to wonder about whether there are any ancient synagogues to visit.
The waiter comes to take their order, and the couple asks if there are any Chinese jews, the waiter asks them to wait a minute and comes right back.
"We have apple Jews, orange Jews, grape Jews, but no Chinese Jews."

One day an elderly Chinese grandfather gets a phone call from his son

"Come quick, I'm about to be a dad!" says the son.
So the grandfather rushes down to the hospital to see his daughter-in-law going into labour.
"It's twins!" says the son excitedly.
After many moments of screaming and pushing, the son is holding a beautiful Chinese boy.
"What a handsome boy!" says the son proudly. The father can't help but agree as he admires his first grandchild. The wife prepares to deliver the second child as the first baby is laid down in a crib.
After more agonising shouts and clenches, the son is holding a beautiful African boy.
"Well, it's not what I expected" says the surprised son, "but he is still a handsome boy."
The grandfather, however, grabs the African baby and runs to the bathroom.
"Dad! What are you doing?!" the son exclaims.
The grandfather opens the lid of the toilet and dumps the baby inside.
"Son," he says, "ancient Chinese proverb been told in family for many generation..."
He pushes the flush button and says "If it yellow, let it mellow..."

A man visits a Buddhist Monastery.

(non racist version)
A man is sent to China on business. On a day off he goes sightseeing. He gets hopelessly lost in the confusing Chinese roads and finds himself on the outskirts of town where an ancient Buddhist monastery sits. Curious, he goes in. A kindly monk takes him for a tour. In the courtyard of the monastery there is a pond, around which are several monks who are skipping stones.
However, instead of typical splashes when the stones bounced across the water, they heard a Chinese word emanate from the pond. A monk demonstrates and they hear "Ping-Lee-Yow." as the stone bounces across the water. The monk explains to the man that this sacred pond says the names of your ancestors when a stone is skipped across it.
Amazed, the man asks to try, and is given a stone. He skips the stone and hears "Chim-Pan-Zee" as the stone skips. Furious, he asks if this is some cruel hoax they pull on foreigners. The monk sadly shakes his head no. Furious, the man lifts the largest boulder he could and heaves it into the water. It splashes with an almighty "BABOON!"

Chinese herbologist

A man with an embarrassing condition walks into a bar one day, sad and depressed. He orders a shot, then another, and then another. Finally, the bartenders asks him "hey, what's wrong buddy?". The man replies "I've got this really embarrassing condition, and no doctor has ever been able to figure out how to cure it". The bartender says "well, why don't you tell me about it?".
"Ok", says the man, "you see.....whenever I f**..., it comes out HONDA!!!". I've tried everything, changed my diet, stopped drinking beer and eating beans...everything!".
The bartender says "have you tried Chinese herbology?".
"No", says the man.
"Well", says the bartender, "there's a Chinese herbologist right around the corner; it wouldn't hurt to give him a shot".
So, the man goes to see the Chinese herbologist and tells him all about his problem. "Ahhh...", says the herbologist, "you have an abscess in your tooth, you must go to the dentist".
Well, the man hasn't seen a dentist in years and is reluctant to go, but he decides he has to do something about his farts. After his exam, the dentist tells him, yes indeed you have an abscess. The dentist performs the surgery to fix the abscess, and the man's farts return to normal. "This is miraculous!", thinks the man. He goes back to the herbologist to find out how he could possibly know that he had an abscess. "Ah...says the herbologist", ancient Chinese proverb! "Abscess make the f**... go honda!".

An ancient Chinese story

Long ago in ancient China, the Wong brothers ruled 2 kingdoms, side by side. Life was well, until a neighboring kingdom decided to invade both the brother's domains. Citizens were killed and villages were burned to the ground.
Desperate, the brothers turned to magic. Meeting up, they devised a magical ceremony and went through with it. It was successful, and the enemies turn and ran while the destruction was reversed. Ecstatic, one brother had his transcript detail the ceremony, just in case they had to perform it again.
Why is this important?
It was the first time in recorded history that 2 Wongs made a rite.