Ancestors Jokes

Following is our collection of macedonian humor and wires one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Ancestors puns for adults, dirty ancients jokes or clean forefathers gags for kids.

There is an abundance of uncles jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 40 funniest jokes on ancestors. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any wagner witze you can hear about ancestors.

The Best jokes about Ancestors

In class we learned that last names were determined by what your ancestors did

So I always made sure I kept my distance from my teacher Mr Dickinson

I got fired from PC World today.

A guy came in the store and asked me what was the best thing for finding your ancestors.


Probably a shovel was not the right answer.

Last Names.

It's commonly known that a lot of last names originate from an ancestor's profession, or what they were known for, hundreds of years ago.
If your last name is Smith, it's likely one of your ancestors was a blacksmith.
If your last name is Cooper, they may have been a cooper, who were known for making barrels.
If your last name is Dickinson I wouldn't delve too deep into your family history.

They say that a person's surname is named after whatever their ancestors did to make a living

I feel sorry for the guy who's dad was the first person to be called "Dickinson"

If our last names came from the jobs of our ancestors...

Then I feel really bad for the boys of the "Dickinson" family tree.


Asked my black friend if he wanted to go on a cruise..

I just asked my black friend if he wanted to go on a cruise this summer. He said his ancestors made that same mistake and he's not falling for it.

Rihanna says that whips and chains excite her...

I wonder if her ancestors felt the same

Did you ever wonder...

how many animals our ancestors had to sit on before they learned that horses were the most capable?

A little girl asks her father where people came from.

He explained about Adam and Eve and they were our original ancestors and they had babies and that's where we came from.

Later that day the girl asked her Mom who explained that their ancestors were monkeys and apes and humans evolved from the monkeys. "So, our relatives are monkeys?" "That's right, dear"

Now the little girl was angry and stomped into the living room to see her Dad and told him what her Mom said. "You lied to me!" the little girl shouted at him.

No I didn't honey. Your Mom was talking about her side of the family

Many surnames come from the job people's ancestors used to have. For example, the Smith family were related to a smith, the Baker family were related to a baker and then there's the Dickinson family...

Who were related to people from Alabama.

One of my ancestors invented the glove

Well, he had a hand in it


Copper Wire

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, French scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the French: in the weeks that followed, American archaeologists dug to a depth of 20 feet before finding traces of copper wire. Shortly afterwards, they published an article in the New York Times saying : "American archaeologists, having found traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the French."

A few weeks later, 'The British Archaeological Society of Northern England' reported the following: "After digging down to a depth of 33 feet in the Skipton area of North Yorkshire in 2011, Charlie Hardcastle, a self-taught amateur archaeologist, reported that he had found absolutely f&*% all. Charlie has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless."

The curious monk

A monk in an ancient monastery is doing his daily work, transcribing and recopying the ancient scrolls and scriptures of his tradition that his predecessors wrote, which they copied from their ancestors texts and so on....

The curious monk begins to wonder if in the endless sequence of copying and recopying over the ages, something got misinterpreted or lost in translation: he goes to investigate the archives.

His friends don't hear from him for a few days. They finally find him in the archives, lying in a pool of scrolls and tears. "What's wrong?", they ask him. He cries: "It said CELEBRATE!!!"

Old technology

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, French scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the French: in the weeks that followed, American archaeologists dug to a depth of 20 feet before finding traces of copper wire. Shortly afterwards, they published an article in the New York Times saying : "American archaeologists, having found traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the French."

A few weeks later, 'The British Archaeological Society of Northern England' reported the following: "After digging down to a depth of 33 feet in the Skipton area of North Yorkshire in 2011, Charlie Hardcastle, a self-taught amateur archaeologist, reported that he had found absolutely sod all. Charlie has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless."

I Asked My Black Friend If He Wanted to Go on a Cruise with me.

He said that his ancestors made that same mistake and that he's not falling for it.

What do you call your ancestors if they were siblings?

Incestors

There are no ancestors in Alabama

Only insestors

I feel sorry for Neymar's ancestors after today's loss

They must be rolling in their graves.


Not mine but felt it had to be shared.

In the past

Russian scientists dug 1000 mtr deep and found a copper wire.
They concluded:
1000 yrs back our ancestors were using copper cable technology ..

American scientists dug 2000 mtr deep and found optic fibre.
They concluded:
2000 yrs back our ancestors were using optic fibre technolgy ..

Indian scientist dug and found nothing. They concluded our ancestors were using Wireless Technology.!


I wonder how long our ancestors managed to live with no shelter...

before they caved

Caveman Diet

My wife put me on the cave man diet. She says that like our ancestors, we can only eat things you would gather or catch. After about six weeks of this, I've come to the conclusion, I can catch a pizza guy.

People who constantly brag about their ancestors are like potatoes;

The only good part is underground.


Note: I heard this one in Bulgaria.

I decided to make a website so rednecks can find out and track who their ancestors were...

I named it Incestry

After the baby was born, the panicked Japanese father went to see the obstetrician.

Doctor" he said "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset that my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine.

Nonsense" the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.

It isn't possible" the man insisted. "We're pure Asian".

"Well" said the doctor "let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?"

The man seemed ashamed. "I've been working very hard for the past year. We only make love once or twice a month.

There you have it!" the doctor said confidently. "It's just rust".

I tried ayahuasca and saw my ancestors

My grandfather beat me with his belt because i did drugs

I am pretty sure I don't have any chinese ancestors...

but I could be Wong.

TIL - Last names came from our ancestors occupations

I feel really sorry for the Dickenson's.........

A Brit, American and South African Joke

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years
They came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the Brit's, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York bulletin: American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the British
One week later, the Cape bulletin, in South Africa , reported the following: After digging as deep as 30 feet in his backyard in Thabazimbi , South Africa , Lucky Simelane, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing (azikolo, fokol (f*** all). Lucky has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Africa had already gone wireless.

Our ancestors would be so jealous of modern dryers' lint traps

They had to get by on whatever they could capture in their belly buttons

My white friend told me he had Italian Ancestors..

I said, "Don't be Sicily"

I was talking to a German in English the other week, but he was struggling to understand me.

Although he wouldn't have had a problem if his ancestors had fought a bit harder

Some surnames are professions, like Smith. Some refer to ancestors, like Johnson.

Thing is, I've never met a Dickin before.

Ancestors...

You can't live with em', can't live without em'

What do you call one of our ancestors who wavers home drunk?

Meanderthal

Why did our ancestors use fire?

because fireworks

Elephant genealogy

First elephant: "I hear you've been trying to trace your ancestors on the internet.

Second elephant: "Yes, and it's a mammoth task.

Today is the 1st day of the Hungry Ghosts Festival, but it rained all day so they weren't able to burn joss papers

Needless to say, the ancestors were rather incensed.

two guys were talking about their ancestors

One guy said
"My great grandfather was in a concentration camp when he died when he tried to escape"
"that's funny" said the other guy
"whys that?" questioned the other
"my great grandad was killed when he fell out of a guard tower onto an escaping prisoner."

What do you call Goldilock's ancestors?

The forebears

Three crocodiles are sitting in a tree.

ー Guys, guys, do you know that our ancestors actually lived in rivers? - says one of the crocodiles.

ー Terrible! That's just terrible! - the other two respond.

ー Also they used to eat meat and had to hunt for their food! Can you imagine that? - says the second crocodile.

ー No... really?! Ugh! How awful! - the other two cry in disgust.

After a minute of silence the third crocodile says:

ー Alright, guys, that's enough chitchat. Let's get on with the honey gathering.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes