Analyst Jokes

Following is our collection of expert humor and specialist one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Analyst puns for adults, dirty astrologer jokes or clean propulsion gags for kids.

There is an abundance of peripheral jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 14 funniest jokes on analyst. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any consultant witze you can hear about analyst.

The Best jokes about Analyst

Three mathematicians go hunting.

As they are out hunting, they see a bird. The numerical analyst fires, but misses to the left. The applied mathematician fires and misses to the right. The statistician shouts out, "We hit it!"

A data analyst walks into a bar and sees two tables..

So he goes over to them and says; "Hey guys, can I join you?"

When people ask me what I do for a living I just tell them I'm a senior analyst

It sounds better than saying I just stare at old people all day

3 guys were riding in a car; a hardware technician, a systems analyst and a programmer.

The systems analyst is driving and when they come to a steep hill he finds that the brakes have failed and the car is accelerating out of control.

So, he pumps the emergency brake, downshifts the gears, and rubs the wheels' rims against the curb. He finally wrestles the car to a stop. The three climb out and assess the situation.

Hardware tech: "Let's try and fix it. I'll crawl under the car and take a look. "

Systems analyst: "No. I think we should get someone qualified to fix it, a specialist in brakes."

Programmer: "Why don't we just get back in and see if it happens again?

My analyst told me that I've got multiple personality disorder.

I replied "Don't be ridiculous. I haven't got multiple personality disorder - and neither have I."

What do you call a person who keeps list of all his sexual encounters


Hot Air Baloon

A man is flying a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He lowers the balloon and shouts to a man he sees "Hey! I'm late for an appointment can you tell me where I am?!"

As he comes in closer the man below shouts back, "You're in hot air balloon about thirty feet off the ground!".

"You must be some kind of analyst!" says the balloonist.


"Well," says the balloonist, "what you said is technically correct but it's not any help at all!"

The man below says, "Oh, YOU must be some kind of manager!"

"How'd you know?!"

"Well you're lost and don't know what to do, you made a commitment you can't keep and while you're right where you were before we met now somehow it's my fault!"

How does a handwriting analyst determine how his lover is feeling?

He looks into his lover's 'I's.

Analysts are now predicting an exact worldwide repeat of the COVID-19 spread 18 months from now and there is nothing we can do to prevent it

It will be 2022.

Analysts are suprised Chris Christie ran for president in the first place

They thought he'd walk

I was a professional twice over; a therapist and an analyst.

The world's first analrapist.

What would you call a man who is both a Analyst and a therapist?


What do you get when you mix an analyst and a therapist?

An analrapist


A financial analyst and a broker enter an elevator together.

The broker says:

\--Guy, really! Can you just tell me this time - UP or DOWN?

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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