Unearthly Funniest Anakin Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What did Anakin order from the Italian bakery?
Only one cannoli.
So, Anakin thought Padme was cheating with Obi Wan.
It seems he found her lack of faithfulness disturbing
What did Anakin give to Padme for christmas?
Sithilis
Why did Anakin kill all the younglings?
To get to the other side.
What's Anakin Skywalker's favorite beer?
Yeungling. He can kill off a 12-pack by himself.
What does Darth Vader identify as on Tumblr?
Ana-kin
Why did Obi Wan not kill Anakin when he had the chance?
Because Anakin was ... unarmed.
What would Anakin Skywalker's sith name be, if Luke was black?
Dearth Vader
How do you call Anakin Skywalker's padawan after getting tased by enemy?
A shocked Tano.
What did Mexican Anakin say when he heard about the Catholic Priest sex scandals?
Now *this* is Padre sin!
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs inside a volcano?
Anakin Skywalker.
(Happy Geek Pride Day!)
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Why did Vader (Anakin) finally rebelled against the Emperor?
In Episode 3, he helped carry out Order 66 to kill all Jedi.
In Episode 4, he helped carry out Order 67 to destroy Alderaan.
In Episode 5, he helped carry out Order 68 to destroy rebel base on Hoth.
In Episode 6.... the Emperor was just too old and nasty for Vader to carry out Order 69.
What did Anakin say to Padme right before they had sex?
Let's see those Naboobies.
What did Anakin see when he walked in on his master unannounced?
Obi wankin' Obi
What's Anakin Skywalker's favorite beer?
Yuenglings.
If Anakin lost a limb in II and Luke lost a limb in V, then in VIII
Rey WILL NOT lose a limb, because she already lost a Han.
What bar will Anakin Skywalker never be at?
The sandbar.
What song does Anakin Skywalker hate the most?
Darude - sandstorm
Why does Anakin dislike Spongebob Squarepants?
He finds Sandy course and irritating.
Obi wan and Anakin had a fight
Obi wan.
Coz Anakin was panakin'
What does Anakin do when Luke doesn't eat his vegetables?
He force-feeds him
Who would win in a fight, Ling Xiaoyu or Anakin Skywalker?
Depends on how old Ling is, if Ling were an adult she would destroy Anakin, but Anakin would kill a young Ling.
What did the skywalkers lose
Anakin lost Hands
Luke lost Hand
Leia lost Han
What's Anakin Skywalker's least favorite bar?
A sand bar.
How did Anakin find the Sand People?
He used his Tusken Radar.
My son Anakin loves that I named all of our children after Star Wars characters
My daughter Chewbacca, however, is less thrilled.
Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
-To get to the Dark Side.
What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say when he heard Anakin had joined the dark side?
(shrugs)
"Well, Sith happens"
Why does Anakin always move in a URM? (Uniform rectilinear motion)
Because he brought balance to the force.
What did Yoda say to Anakin on his wedding day?
May divorce be with you.
In Australia, Anakin technically has the high ground.
I will show myself out.
What is Anakin doing in Disneyland?
Killing children
Why couldn't Anakin pay for dinner?
His Master card was denied.
Why doesn't Anakin Skywalker play Undertale?
He doesn't like Sans.
Why did Anakin slaughter all those kids?
Because they couldn't stop talking about how Fornite is Game of The Year.
How does Anakin Skywalker check his mail?
He uses a C3 PO Box
Who is Anakin Skywalker's adopted daughter?
Yung Ling
In Star Wars Episode I, we learn
That Anakin Skywalker has no father, the midichlorians caused his birth.
I guess his mom was forced into it.
Why did Anakin Skywalker hate bed time?
Because that's when the sandman came.
And not just the sand man but the sand woman and and children too
Why does Anakin Skywalker only pay with cash?
He doesn't have a Mastercard.
What is Anakin Skywalkers favorite beer to kill in one sitting?
Yuenglings
What is Anakin Skywalker's favorite baseball team?
The Padres!
Why couldn't Anakin Skywalker pay for dinner?
Because his master card got denied.
Two things that never get old:
1. Jokes about Anakin killing the younglings
2. The younglings
Why didn't Anakin get a discount ?
Because he didn't have his master card
So if Ani is short for Anakin, and Ben is short for Obi-Wan... and Fives is short for CT-27-5555... and Artoo is short for R2D2... and Chewie is short for Chewbacca... What is Luke short for?
A stormtrooper
Why couldn't Anakin Skywalker upload his pics to email them to Padme?
Because attachments are forbidden.
What did Anakin Skywalker get after being boned by the Emperor?
Siithylis.
Why did Anakin Skywalker fail as a lawyer?
His arguments didn't have a leg to stand on.
What does Anakin Skywalker never order at a restaurant?
Sandwiches.
Why was Anakin Skywalker rejected for a credit card?
Because he applied for a MasterCard.
If Ani is short for Anakin and Obi is short for Obi-Wan, what is Luke short for?
A stormtrooper.
Why did Anakin fail to answer the trivia question?
He was stumped.
[Meanwhile, at the Jedi Temple]
[Meanwhile, at the Jedi Temple]
OBI-WAN: [Rubbing his chin] There's only one thing on Dathomir that concerns me
ANAKIN: Which is, Master?
OBI-WAN: Exactly
ANAKIN: .....
If Ani is short for Anakin, Obi is short for Obi-Wan, then what is Yoda short for?
He is short, for having small legs.
Anakin got pretty messed up at the tailgater,
He was killin' Yuenglings all night long.
Why didn't Anakin Skywalker become an engineer?
He couldn't get a Master's degree.
How did Anakin and Padme break up?
They got a diforce.
