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Anaconda Jokes

18 anaconda jokes and hilarious anaconda puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about anaconda that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

We've collected the funniest anaconda jokes! Laugh at these inappropriate jokes, they range from jokes about anaconda's farting habits, to the size of their bites. You can even compare them to other reptiles like crocodiles or boa constrictors for even more laughs. Get ready to chuckle!

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Funniest Anaconda Short Jokes

Short anaconda jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The anaconda humour may include short iguana jokes also.

  1. How do you feed a 90 foot long pet anaconda? Once. After that somebody else feeds it once.
  2. "Hey, can I try feeding your snake?" "Sure. His bread is in the pantry."
    "Your snake eats... Bread?"
    "My anaconda don't want none, unless you got buns, hun."
  3. My wife can't figure out why my pet anaconda won't eat Bratwurst a la cart I told her that my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun.
  4. I love animals, but I'm thinking of getting rid of my pet anaconda. It keeps taking horse sized dumps. Also, all my horses have gone missing.
  5. My pet snake will only eat rabbits. You might say my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon.
  6. My girlfriend broke up with me because I wasn't a good adder I'd rather be an anaconda anyway
  7. Snakes dont like bread Except for sirmixalot's anaconda because ***it don't want none unless you got buns Hun***

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Anaconda One Liners

Which anaconda one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with anaconda? I can suggest the ones about alligator and crocodile.

  1. You: Would you like a keto burger? My anaconda: No.
  2. My Anaconda Don't Want None Unless You Read The Koran.
  3. The entire movie of "Anaconda" was recorded inside Chuck Norris' pants.
  4. What did the anaconda say to the cobra?
  5. Sir Scats-a-Lot My anaconda don't want none unless you got runs, hun.
  6. I once wrestled an anaconda for 3 days... Then realized I was m**....
  7. I was wrestling with an Anaconda for 3 days... And then I realised I was m**...

Anaconda joke, I was wrestling with an Anaconda for 3 days...

Quirky and Hilarious Anaconda Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about anaconda you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean venomous snake jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make anaconda pranks.

On a whim, I bought a snake yesterday at the local pet store...

Last night, I attempted to feed it a freshly grilled hamburger.
Just the patty, no bread.
The thing is, he wouldn't eat it.
As it turns out,
my anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, Hun.

snake joke

A guy wearing a snake walks up to a hot dog stand and asks for a hot dog for his snake.The woman running the stand says they don't have any buns so it just would be the meat.He says that sorry My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun.

My girlfriend said she's getting a massive tattoo on her back of an anaconda surrounded by flames.

"Do you think it will hurt?" I asked.
"Probably," she replied, "it will take many hours."
I said, "I meant being single."

Anaconda joke, My girlfriend broke up with me because I wasn't a good  adder