Amy Schumer Jokes
105 amy schumer jokes and hilarious amy schumer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about amy schumer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Amy Schumer Short Jokes
Short amy schumer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The amy schumer humour may include short ben shapiro jokes also.
- When she was growing up, everybody laughed when Amy Schumer said she wanted to be a comedian... Nobody's laughing now.
- Two cannibals were eating Amy Schumer. One says, 'Does this taste funny to you?'
The other one goes, 'No'. - Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer One turns to the other and asks, "*does this taste funny to you?*"
The other responds, "*no.*" - Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer. One says, "Does this taste funny?".
The other says, "No". - When Amy Schumer was a child, people laughed at her when she said she'd be a comedian No one's laughing now.
- One stolen joke is a coincidence. Two stolen jokes is a pattern. Thirty stolen jokes is an Amy Schumer special.
- Did you hear about that time a hitman held a writer at gunpoint and forced him to write for Amy Schumer? The hitman warned him, Don't get any funny ideas!
- Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer. Cannibal 1: "Does this taste funny to you?"
Cannibal 2: "Not at all, and there's plenty to go around!" - Two cannibals were eating Amy Schumer One looks to the other and says,
does this taste funny to you?
and the other says no - Two cannibals were eating Amy Schumer One cannibal asked the other:
Do you think this tastes a little.. funny?
The other cannibal replied:
No.
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Amy Schumer One Liners
Which amy schumer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with amy schumer? I can suggest the ones about sanders and anthony jeselnik.
- Who is Greta Thunbergs favorite comedian. Amy schumer because she recycles all her jokes!
- Kim Kardashian, pitbull and Amy Schumer walk into a bar. They set it lower.
- Maybe the end of Amy Schumer's new show is really funny. I guess nobody will ever know.
- Question: If it's not funny, is it still a joke? Answer: In the case of Amy Schumer, yes.
- The most attractive part of Amy Schumer is.... Her Gravitational pull.
- What does the f in Amy Schumer stand for? Funny
- did anybody see that hilarious Amy schumer bit? me neither
- Why is Conan's guest's face blurred-out? Oh. Never mind. It isn't. It's just Amy Schumer.
- What's a whale's worst nightmare? Being compared to Amy Schumer
- Of all the things "Inside Amy Schumer"... ..why can't any of them be funny?
- So I saw Amy Schumer perform live... The kentucky derby really is magical!
- Say what you like about Amy Schumer But I've got nothing.
- I hate it when Amy Schumer gets compared to whales Whales are kind of funny you know
- I made a joke about Amy Schumer But she stole it
- Why is Amy Schumer so unfunny? Nobody knows, she stole the punchline.
Amy Schumer Stealing Jokes
Here is a list of funny amy schumer stealing jokes and even better amy schumer stealing puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I don't care what anyone says, Amy Schumer is extremely talented. I mean who else can steal jokes from others, and still remain remarkably unfunny.
- Stop making jokes about how fat and disgusting Amy Schumer is. You're stealing her material.
- What's the difference between Amy Schumer and a bank robber? A bank robber steals something of value.
- What the difference between Amy Schumer and a whale? The whale won't steal other people's jokes.
- Amy Schumer looks in the mirror.... Then she proceeds to steal herself adding to her record of stealing jokes
- Amy Schumer accused of stealing jokes from comedians she used to open for... ...And they said after she snapped at that 17-year old on Twitter that Amy Schumer can't take a joke.
- Amy Schumer gets mad when people describe her as fat, s**..., and disgusting.. because she doesn't like when people steal her material.
Happy Amy Schumer Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about amy schumer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bernie sanders jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make amy schumer pranks.
Headline: Comedians are now outlawed...
In more news, Amy Schumer has a show tonight
Screw this! I'm going to leave the original joke making to the professionals!
Dane Cook...
Amy Schumer...
Carlos Mencia...
Why did Amy Schumer go to a psychic?
Because it's the only way she'll ever get near a medium.
How do you get Amy Schumer, Rosie O'donnell and Lena Dunham to move to Canada?
Piece of cake.
Rumor has it that the Canadian immigration website crashed because..,
Amy Schumer was on it
Amy Schumer and a dyslexic vegan are eating a cannibal...
The vegan turns to Amy and says "this is more meta than I can digest"
Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer
The first cannibal asks "Does it taste funny?"
The second cannibal turns around and says "nope."
Two Cyclopes are eating Amy Schumer
One turns to the other and say, 'Does this taste funny to you'
The other says, 'No'
What's the difference between a beached whale and Amy Schumer?
One is depressing and people will share horrifying pictures and video all over the internet and the other is a beached whale
Whats funnier than Amy Schumer?
The Holocaust
What do MOAB and Amy Schumer have in common?
Apart from being plus-sized, they both really know how to bomb!
What do you hear right before watching an hour-long compilation of different comedians' jokes?
Please welcome Amy Schumer.
I was sad I missed a Dave Chappelle special on T.V...
But then my girlfriend reminded me, I can just watch Amy Schumer to hear all his best jokes.
What do you call a life sized miss piggy doll?
Amy Schumer on a good day
Had to stop following Business Insider for the headline: "Amy Schumer's new comedy movie is shockingly awful"
I can't trust anybody who finds that shocking.
Watching Amy Schumer is a lot like watching surgery.
Watching Amy Schumers Comedy is a lot like watching surgery videos on Youtube.
It's unsettling, it's g**... and it doesn't make you laugh once.
Men say that women can't take jokes.
then how do you explain Amy Schumer's career?
All the kids used to laugh at Amy Schumer when she said she wanted to be a comedian when she grew up.
Nobody is laughing now.
Amy Schumer is so unpopular now
No one has even bothered to repost the two cannibals joke in months.
Comedians have found a new way to recycle old material
It's called Amy Schumer
I was browsing Netflix the other day, and Happened upon the Amy Schumer special "Inside Amy Schumer." Looks like they couldn't use the original title idea due to copyright issues:
'Wide Open Spaces'
How does Amy Schumer reproduce?
sexuWHALE i**...
The comedy industry is ridiculously sexist.
Zach Galifinakis can tell a joke to a full theatre and the audience would love it. If Amy Schumer told the same joke a week later in the same theatre to the same audience, she'd be accused of stealing material
Amy Schumer had some great advice for her date.
You have to pretend like you want to use a c**.... I like to say something fun when I bring it up, but honest. I'll be like, 'You're going to want to wear this. I've had a busy month.'
When she was young, people laughed at Amy Schumer when she said she wanted to be a comedian.
Guess what, no one is laughing now.
Everytime i say amy schumer is not funny, people will always reply with "that's because a woman said it" to which i usually say "yes...
Mostly because a guy said it first"
What does a healthy dish and a good joke have in common?
Amy Schumer has never had any of them
So Amy Schumer claims that a big time producer, s**... harassed her by asking her for a b**....
Turns out, he was just telling her she s**....
If people are going to just keep reposting jokes
The we should rename this sub Amy Schumer.
I would make a joke about Amy Schumers comedy career
but im afraid nobody will laugh
LPT: If you are sick of hearing duplicate tracks on Spotify's stand-up comedy playlists,
Just delete all of the Amy Schumer material, and it should flow a lot smoother.
When Amy Schumer was a kid, people laughed when they heard she wanted to be a comedian.
No one's laughing now.
When Amy Schumer was a girl she said she wanted to be a comedian when she grew up and people laughed at her.
Well nobody is laughing now.
Why didnt Amy Schumer exist during the 1800's?
Whale hunting was still legal.
Confession time: I voted for Trump and I truly regret it
I really thought it would get Amy Schumer and Lena Dunham to leave the country.
How many Amy Schumers does it take to make us all laugh?
-1
The funny thing about Amy Schumer is…
Nothing
What do you call Amy Schumer with a r**... whistle?
Optimistic
What do Amy Schumer, and reposted jokes about Amy Schumer, have in common?
They're both not funny
I failed my audition as Amy Schumer
I told an actual joke.
Haters, Amy Schumer just got another Netflix special announced, who's laughing now
^(still nobody)
Most of these jokes aren't funny at all...
Just like Amy Schumer
Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer.
the first one says to the other, "does this taste funny to you?"
the other one answers, "no."
When she was a child, Amy Schumer told her class she wanted to be a comedian. Her classmates laughed at her.
Nobody's laughing now...
2 cannibals were eating Amy Schumer
One of them asks does this taste funny?
And the other one said no
Amy Schumer son name joke
Amy Schumer: Everybody kind of gave me credit, and I was just like, no. So do you guys know that Gene, our baby’s name, is officially changed? It’s now Gene David Fischer. It was Gene Attell Fischer, but we realized that we, by accident, named our son g**.... Gene Attell sounds like g**....
2 Cannibals are eating Amy Schumer
Cannibal 1: Does this taste funny to you?
Cannibal 2: No.
Amy Schumer told people she wanted to be a comedian and they laughed
Now she's a comedian and no one's laughing
Everyone laughed when Amy Schumer said she wanted to become a comedian
No one is laughing now
Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer
One of them says. "Hey man doesn't this taste a bit funny".
The other cannibal says. "Nope".
When Amy Schumer was a little girl, she said she wanted to be a comedian and everyone laughed.
Well, no one's laughing now.
