Entertaining Amy Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
When she was growing up, everybody laughed when Amy Schumer said she wanted to be a comedian...
Nobody's laughing now.
Two cannibals were eating Amy Schumer.
One says, 'Does this taste funny to you?'
The other one goes, 'No'.
Amy Schumer gets mad when people describe her as fat, s**..., and disgusting..
because she doesn't like when people steal her material.
What do you call a woman who's really good at darts?
Amy
Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer
One turns to the other and asks, "*does this taste funny to you?*"
The other responds, "*no.*"
Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer.
One says, "Does this taste funny?".
The other says, "No".
When Amy Schumer was a child, people laughed at her when she said she'd be a comedian
No one's laughing now.
One stolen joke is a coincidence. Two stolen jokes is a pattern.
Thirty stolen jokes is an Amy Schumer special.
Did you hear about that time a hitman held a writer at gunpoint and forced him to write for Amy Schumer?
The hitman warned him, Don't get any funny ideas!
So the US Military dropped a 22,000 lb bomb on ISIS today.
That moves Amy Shumer's special to the second spot for largest bomb for the year.
Literally the guy you asked for
A woman looking for a relationship places an ad, saying, Looking for a guy that won't beat me, won't run away on me and will satisfy me nicely. Am good looking, excellent cook.
Three days later, there's a loud knocking at her door. Behind it there's a guy with no arms and no legs, smiling expectantly. Dear Amy, he says, I have no arms so I couldn't even beat you if I tried. I have no legs and I can't run away on you. I'm your guy.
That's very nice, says Amy, surprised, but how will you be able to satisfy me?
His smile widens, You did hear the knocking, didn't you?
You can explore amy ponzi reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean amy ellie dad jokes. There are also amy puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer.
Cannibal 1: "Does this taste funny to you?"
Cannibal 2: "Not at all, and there's plenty to go around!"
Two cannibals were eating Amy Schumer
One looks to the other and says,
does this taste funny to you?
and the other says no
Of course trump will challenge the results. He will not take no for an answer.
Just ask Ivana trump, Jill hearth, Jean carrol, summer zervos, alva Johnson, Jessica leeds, Kristen Anderson, Lisa boyne, Cathy heller, temple McDowell, Amy dorris, Karena Virginia, karen Johnson, mindy mcgillivary, Jennifer Murphy, Rachael crooks, Natasha stoynoff, juillet huddy, Jessica drake, ninni laaksonen, Cassandra searless, Mariah billado, Victoria Hughes, Bridget Sullivan, Tasha Dixon, and Samantha holvey.
Who is Greta Thunbergs favorite comedian.
Amy schumer because she recycles all her jokes!
Two cannibals were eating Amy Schumer
One cannibal asked the other:
Do you think this tastes a little.. funny?
The other cannibal replied:
No.
2 Cannibals are eating Amy Schumer
Cannibal 1: Does this taste funny to you?
Cannibal 2: No.
$200
Little Johnny was in his maths class one day when the teacher said to him "If I gave you $200," the teacher began," and you gave $50 to Mary, $50 to Sally, $50 to Susan and $50 to Amy, what would you have?"
"An o**...," Johnny answered.
Kim Kardashian, Pitbull and Amy Schumer walk into a bar.
They set it lower.
Maybe the end of Amy Schumer's new show is really funny.
I guess nobody will ever know.
What do you hear right before watching an hour-long compilation of different comedians' jokes?
Please welcome Amy Schumer.
Had to stop following Business Insider for the headline: "Amy Schumer's new comedy movie is shockingly awful"
I can't trust anybody who finds that shocking.
The comedy industry is ridiculously sexist.
Zach Galifinakis can tell a joke to a full theatre and the audience would love it. If Amy Schumer told the same joke a week later in the same theatre to the same audience, she'd be accused of stealing material
Two cannibals are eating Amy Shumer's body
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
The other replies: "no, not at all."
I don't care what anyone says, Amy Schumer is extremely talented.
I mean who else can steal jokes from others, and still remain remarkably unfunny.
A couple of friends are catching up after years apart.
"So I hear you've recently had a baby boy!" Gushes Edna.
"We did!" Responds Amy.
"Have you decided on a name yet?"
"Funny story: with our first, Denise, my husband's brother wanted to name her. The name stuck, so when he asked again, we figured he'd pick another good one."
"That's adorable! What'd he pick!"
Amy sighed. "Denephew."
If people are going to just keep reposting jokes
The we should rename this sub Amy Schumer.
Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer
One of them says. "Hey man doesn't this taste a bit funny".
The other cannibal says. "Nope".
Stop making jokes about how fat and disgusting Amy Schumer is.
You're stealing her material.
Question: If it's not funny, is it still a joke?
Answer: In the case of Amy Schumer, yes.
When Amy Schumer was a kid, people laughed when they heard she wanted to be a comedian.
No one's laughing now.
The most attractive part of Amy Schumer is....
Her Gravitational pull.
Everyone laughed when Amy Schumer said she wanted to become a comedian
No one is laughing now
I heard this one at school today
Jack and Amy both work for the same company. Their work is going fine until the economy falls and the company starts downsizing. The boss was given the option to fire one of them. He calls Amy into his office to break her the news. He says: "I'll either have to lay you or j**...".
What does the f in Amy Schumer stand for?
Funny
Congratulations to Amy Winehouse
For being sober one year.
Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer.
the first one says to the other, "does this taste funny to you?"
the other one answers, "no."
When she was a child, Amy Schumer told her class she wanted to be a comedian. Her classmates laughed at her.
Nobody's laughing now...
Amy Schumer is so unpopular now
No one has even bothered to repost the two cannibals joke in months.
I would like to congratulate Amy Winehouse
on almost 4 years of sobriety.
Congratulations to Amy Winehouse...
...on six months of sobriety.
When Amy Schumer was a little girl, she said she wanted to be a comedian and everyone laughed.
Well, no one's laughing now.
did anybody see that hilarious Amy schumer bit?
me neither
World is Flat.
"World is Flat". Jhonny said.
"How can you say that without any proof, Jhonny?" Amy replied.
"You're my world, Amy", he replied.
So a Sunday School teacher asks her class where Jesus is.
Little Susie says, In Heaven!
Little Amy says, In my heart!
Little Johnny says, In my bathroom!
Perplexed, the Sunday School teacher asks little Johnny why Jesus would be in his bathroom.
I don't know, I just hear my dad every morning b**... on the bathroom door and yelling 'Jesus Christ are you still in there?!'
Amy Winehouse has become a real inspiration for me
She's going on 6 years sober now.
What do Amy Schumer, and reposted jokes about Amy Schumer, have in common?
They're both not funny
Two Cyclopes are eating Amy Schumer
One turns to the other and say, 'Does this taste funny to you'
The other says, 'No'
President of Columbia has announced that the country is going into severe economic depression...
...since the deaths of Amy Winehouse and Whitney Houston.
2 cannibals were eating Amy Schumer
One of them asks does this taste funny?
And the other one said no
Why is Conan's guest's face blurred-out?
Oh. Never mind. It isn't. It's just Amy Schumer.
I was sad I missed a Dave Chappelle special on T.V...
But then my girlfriend reminded me, I can just watch Amy Schumer to hear all his best jokes.
What's 3 inches long and hasn't been s**... in nearly 3 years?
Amy Winehouse's crack pipe.
Son:Dad, why is my sister's name "Amy"?
Son: Dad, why is my sister's name "Amy"?
Dad: Because its an anagram for "May", the favorite month of your mother.
Son: Thanks for the help ,dad.
Dad: No problem, Alan.
If your ever feeling like you can't achieve something, just remember...
Today, Amy Winehouse is six years clean.
All the kids used to laugh at Amy Schumer when she said she wanted to be a comedian when she grew up.
Nobody is laughing now.
What's a whale's worst nightmare?
Being compared to Amy Schumer
One day sister told me she has a crush on Amy Poehler
I think she might be bi-Poehler
Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Jack Daniels.
Jack Daniels comes alive when you add coke.
When she was young, people laughed at Amy Schumer when she said she wanted to be a comedian.
Guess what, no one is laughing now.
Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer
The first cannibal asks "Does it taste funny?"
The second cannibal turns around and says "nope."
What did Amy Winehouse have in common with the Ghostbusters?
They both downed spirits.
Took one of those annoying cold calls at dinner. "Have you had an accident in the last 5 years..."
Yes.
And we called her Amy.
Amy Schumer told people she wanted to be a comedian and they laughed
Now she's a comedian and no one's laughing
Rumor has it that the Canadian immigration website crashed because..,
Amy Schumer was on it
Of all the things "Inside Amy Schumer"...
..why can't any of them be funny?
So I saw Amy Schumer perform live...
The Kentucky Derby really is magical!
Say what you like about Amy Schumer
But I've got nothing.
Haters, Amy Schumer just got another Netflix special announced, who's laughing now
^(still nobody)
So Amy Schumer claims that a big time producer, s**... harassed her by asking her for a b**....
Turns out, he was just telling her she s**....
People think that Ed Sheeran cameo in Game of Thrones was bad...
But I thought Amy Winehouse getting hit in the face with a rock in last nights episode was just in bad taste.
I hate it when Amy Schumer gets compared to whales
Whales are kind of funny you know
I'd like to be the first
to congratulate Amy Winehouse on her 4 years of sobriety.
What does a healthy dish and a good joke have in common?
Amy Schumer has never had any of them
I made a joke about Amy Schumer
But she stole it
When Amy Schumer was a girl she said she wanted to be a comedian when she grew up and people laughed at her.
Well nobody is laughing now.
Charlie Sheen, Amy Winehouse, and Keith Richards walk into a bar.
The bartender, local drug dealer, and in house p**... all get measured for a new suit
LPT: If you are sick of hearing duplicate tracks on Spotify's stand-up comedy playlists,
Just delete all of the Amy Schumer material, and it should flow a lot smoother.
Why is Amy Schumer so unfunny?
Nobody knows, she stole the punchline.
Watching Amy Schumer is a lot like watching surgery.
Watching Amy Schumers Comedy is a lot like watching surgery videos on Youtube.
It's unsettling, it's g**... and it doesn't make you laugh once.
How do you get Amy Schumer, Rosie O'donnell and Lena Dunham to move to Canada?
Piece of cake.
Amy Rose.
And then Sonic took the first flight leaving Thailand.
Did you know NBC once considered a diet & fitness show based on people such as Air Force Amy, Mary Magdalene, Heidi Fleiss, Charles Ponzi, Berni Madoff, and Donald Trump?
The pilot was cancelled because they didn't want to weigh the pros and the cons.
What's the difference between Amy Schumer and a bank robber?
A bank robber steals something of value.
Amy Schumer had some great advice for her date.
You have to pretend like you want to use a c**.... I like to say something fun when I bring it up, but honest. I'll be like, 'You're going to want to wear this. I've had a busy month.'
I was browsing Netflix the other day, and Happened upon the Amy Schumer special "Inside Amy Schumer." Looks like they couldn't use the original title idea due to copyright issues:
'Wide Open Spaces'
What do MOAB and Amy Schumer have in common?
Apart from being plus-sized, they both really know how to bomb!
TIL: Amy Winehouse spent the last moment of her life watching her own video clips on Youtube before her death.
She must have read the comments.
I failed my audition as Amy Schumer
I told an actual joke.
