Amusement Jokes

Following is our collection of grad humor and southwest one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Amusement puns for adults, dirty area jokes or clean enjoyment gags for kids.

There is an abundance of amuse jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 20 funniest jokes on amusement. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any entertainment witze you can hear about amusement.

The Best jokes about Amusement

Ukrainian authorities are planning to turn the Chernobyl exclusion zone into an amusement park

They say the only difference between it and Disneyland will be that the six foot tall mouse isn't a costume.

What's the difference between tinder and amusement parks?

Amusement parks have realistic height requirements.

Three men shipwreck on an island known for cannibals.

As they wander the jungle they are captured by these cannibals and put in a cage. The biggest and ugliest cannibal approaches the cage and says
"Now we're fun loving cannibals and we like to play games. We'll give you a chance to escape for our amusement, with one item of your choice. If you get to the beach, then you'll be taken back to society. If you fail we shall kill you, skin you, eat you, and turn you into a canoe. Good luck."
The first man wants to go the traditional route and chooses a gun. As he runs to the beach, he runs out of ammo and the cannibals catch him, skin him, eat him, and turn him into a canoe.
The second man asks for a horse. They begrudgingly give him their only horse, and he rides towards the beach, but the cannibals spear him off the horse and skin him, eat him, and turn him into a canoe.
The third man asks for a fork. The cannibals give him a funny look and fetch him a fork. The man begins to stab himself all over. The cannibals ask him why he's making their job easier and he yells
"Try and make a canoe out of me now!"

Taking the kids out

A husband and wife were discussing what to do with their two kids on the weekend. "They want to go to the zoo and the amusement park" said the wife.

"That's too expensive" said the husband. "It'll have to be one or the other."

"Well, which do you think?"

"Probably Mikey."

One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to escort new recruits to the mess hall.

After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them

"There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up!

Eat up!

Get up!"

Checking to see that he had everyone's attention, he asked, "What is the first rule?"

Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, "Shut up, Drill Sergeant!"


Did you know Hellen Keller had an amusement park in her backyard?

Neither did she.

Old Lady Laughing at The Dentist.

An old lady went in for her dental appointment and was real nervous so the dentist tries to calm her down with an interesting fact.
Dentist:"Did you know the way they used to make latex gloves is they had the factory workers stick their hands in Vats of Latex?"

The old lady nods in amusement and minutes later starts giggling.

Dentist: "What is so funny?"

Old Lady:" I was just thinking about how they used to make condoms."

(Unoriginal Joke heard on the streets).

How to add extra fun during your amusement park ride ?

Carry some extra nuts and bolts with you.

as soon as the ride begins, Tap on the shoulder of the guy in front of you. Show them the nuts and bolts and ask

"Are these from your seat ? "

What does a ISIS amusement park have as a safety mechanism?

Allahu lap-bar.

I took the family to an amusement park and they all got thirsty at once.

Fortunately we were close to a big soda shop, a circular building with lines of varying lengths standing at most of the windows.

"Excuse me," I asked a park employee, "Which window do we go to?"

"Each window is for a different drink, so just go straight to the one for what you want. If you're in a hurry, though, you might pick something less popular, that no one's waiting for."

Over the crowd I could see the drink signs above each window: Coke, Sprite, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Root Beer, Hawaiian Punch, Mountain Dew, Guinness... "How long is the Guinness line?" I asked.

He laughed, "That one wraps around the back of the building and trails off into the parking lot outside. I think they're going for a world record or something."

I didn't have time for this guy's jokes, so I asked, "Is there a punch line?"

"Nope."

[OC] What's the most ironic amusement park ride?

The ferrous wheel.


I was at an amusement park with my friends.

They all said the invisible roller coaster was great, but I didn't see the attraction.

What's the difference between an amusement park and a pedophile?

A pedophile doesn't have a height limit

A newlywed couple go on an African safari...

They come upon an indigenous people most notably characterized by their unusually long penises.

Noticing his wife's amusement, he decides to ask the tour guide for some pointers.

"For one year, during their youth, they tie on a heavy rock and don't remove it, " says the guide.

Now, back at home, the man decides to give it a go..

A week later the wife excitedly asks, "How's my big man? Any luck?"

The man replies, "Its not any longer, but it has turned black."

The amusement park was taking photos of me on their rides without my consent

When i found out, i was fluming!

At the amusement park's Haunted House, the toilets are three inches taller than normal.

They like to keep visitors on their toes.

What did the broke zombie amusement park say to the wealthy vampire golf course?

I just need to get fundead.

Furniture shopping

An old favorite which might bear more than one telling is the one about the lady who visited a furniture store and ask to see a sexual couch.

The salesman, masking his amusement, politely asked, Don't you perhaps mean a section couch, madam?

No, no, she replied emphatically, I'm sure my interior decorator told me I should have a sexual couch for an occasional piece in the living room.

Did you hear the amusement park was offering free bungee jumping?

No strings attached!


What's a jews least favorite amusement park ride?

The Holocoaster

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes