Playful Amputees Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
I wanted to learn about amputees on Wikipedia
But I didn't learn much, because the article was a stub.
What type of fighting technique do amputees practice?
Partial arts.
Amputees can be pretty stubborn.
You've really got to hand it to them.
What do amputees and cricket have in common?
Stumps
Now showing: "Amputees"
A film in two parts!
Why are double amputees always wrong?
Because they don't have a leg to stand on.
Note: I'm a right leg amputee and I made this up myself.
What is an amputees favorite movie?
Armageddon.
Amputees will not find this joke funny:
Actually, I'm going to cut this joke short.
Double leg amputees are the worst...
...I can't stand them
I hate how people treat amputees differently.
Just because they're missing a limb or two doesn't make them any less of a person.
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
Amputees anonymous
You can explore amputees limbless reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean amputees bionic dad jokes. There are also amputees puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I just can't stand amputees...
I guess i am lacktoes intolerant.
I sell prosthetics to midgets who are amputees...
I'm a small arms dealer.
What do you call a bunch of amputees together in one area?
A Stubhub.
I'm starting a clothing company for people missing limbs. The name you ask?
AmpuTEES
What do you call an army of amputees?
The unarmed forces
Why are amputees so good at road trips?
They're always on the last leg.
I don't like foot amputees.
I'm lack-toes intolerant.
So what do you do?
*I sell prosthetic limbs to various countries.*
So you're like a med rep, but for amputees?
*I prefer international arms dealer.*
Why can't bilateral amputees do stage comedy?
They just can't stand-up.
I feel really bad for amputees.
Honestly, I wouldn't be able to stand having no legs.
I want you to know I'm not racist...
Like I said. I'm not racist. I have nothing against people of color, any kind of spiritual belief, or any political backing.
However. I do have something against amputees. I don't know what it is about them, but I just feel like they're missing something.
A Farewell To Arms
Had NOTHING to do with amputees. Very disappointed.
Where do amputees get prosthetics on a budget?
The Secondhand store.
How can you tell if amputees are vegan?
They lack toes.
A group of amputees have escaped after a violent bank robbery,
one armed and dangerous.
Where do amputees like to shop?
The second hand store.
I have a f**... for amputees
I just can't get enough of them
Why are amputees the easiest to subdue?
They're always unarmed
A blind comedian goes to a hospital to do a gig.
He notices no one is laughing at his act, but he continues singing, If you're happy and you know it...
The room was full of arm amputees.
Is it just me that thinks amputees are really
Stubborn
Amputees in love this Christmas
Are you excited to kiss under the mistlestump?
Why are arm amputees always sad?
They don't have a shoulder to cry on.
I really don't like toe amputees
I'm lack toes intolerant
What do you call it when two hand amputees high five eachother?
A stump bump.
What's the difference between somebody who doesn't drink milk and somebody who dislikes amputees?
One is lactose intolerant, the other is lack toes intolerant
Double amputees must be real bad at arguments.
After all, they don't have one leg to stand on
What really offends amputees?
Off-handed comments.
What do you call a stripper who works with amputees?
A stump grinder
Don't believe anything double amputees say.
They don't have a leg to stand on.
How do amputees win video games?
Single-handedly
