The Best 38 Amputees Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Amputees jokes. There are some amputees prosthetic jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these amputees crutches puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Amputees Jokes and Puns

I wanted to learn about amputees on Wikipedia

But I didn't learn much, because the article was a stub.

What type of fighting technique do amputees practice?

Partial arts.

Amputees can be pretty stubborn.

You've really got to hand it to them.

Amputees joke, Amputees can be pretty stubborn.

What do amputees and cricket have in common?


Now showing: "Amputees"

A film in two parts!

Why are double amputees always wrong?

Because they don't have a leg to stand on.

Note: I'm a right leg amputee and I made this up myself.

What is an amputees favorite movie?


Amputees joke, What is an amputees favorite movie?

Amputees will not find this joke funny:

Actually, I'm going to cut this joke short.

Double leg amputees are the worst...

...I can't stand them

I hate how people treat amputees differently.

Just because they're missing a limb or two doesn't make them any less of a person.

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

Amputees anonymous

You can explore amputees limbless reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean amputees bionic dad jokes. There are also amputees puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I just can't stand amputees...

I guess i am lacktoes intolerant.

I sell prosthetics to midgets who are amputees...

I'm a small arms dealer.

I'm starting a clothing company for people missing limbs. The name you ask?


What do you call an army of amputees?

The unarmed forces

Why are amputees so good at road trips?

They're always on the last leg.

Amputees joke, Why are amputees so good at road trips?

I don't like foot amputees.

I'm lack-toes intolerant.

So what do you do?

*I sell prosthetic limbs to various countries.*

So you're like a med rep, but for amputees?

*I prefer international arms dealer.*

Why can't bilateral amputees do stage comedy?

They just can't stand-up.

I feel really bad for amputees.

Honestly, I wouldn't be able to stand having no legs.

I want you to know I'm not racist...

Like I said. I'm not racist. I have nothing against people of color, any kind of spiritual belief, or any political backing.

However. I do have something against amputees. I don't know what it is about them, but I just feel like they're missing something.

A Farewell To Arms

Had NOTHING to do with amputees. Very disappointed.

Where do amputees get prosthetics on a budget?

The Secondhand store.

How can you tell if amputees are vegan?

They lack toes.

A group of amputees have escaped after a violent bank robbery,

one armed and dangerous.

Where do amputees like to shop?

The second hand store.

I have a fetish for amputees

I just can't get enough of them

Why are amputees the easiest to subdue?

They're always unarmed

A blind comedian goes to a hospital to do a gig.

He notices no one is laughing at his act, but he continues singing, If you're happy and you know it...

The room was full of arm amputees.

Is it just me that thinks amputees are really


Amputees in love this Christmas

Are you excited to kiss under the mistlestump?

Why are arm amputees always sad?

They don't have a shoulder to cry on.

I really don't like toe amputees

I'm lack toes intolerant

What do you call it when two hand amputees high five eachother?

A stump bump.

What's the difference between somebody who doesn't drink milk and somebody who dislikes amputees?

One is lactose intolerant, the other is lack toes intolerant

Double amputees must be real bad at arguments.

After all, they don't have one leg to stand on

What really offends amputees?

Off-handed comments.

What do you call a stripper who works with amputees?

A stump grinder

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the amputees amputee jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working amputees amputation piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes