Amorous Jokes
7 amorous jokes and hilarious amorous puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about amorous that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Share These Amorous Jokes With Friends
The Funniest Amorous Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What is a good amorous joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy goes to his psychiatrist complaining about his s**... life...
Upon further discussion the psychiatrist suggests that the spark of excitement has gone out of his client's marriage.
"Perhaps," he suggests, "the next time you are feeling amorous, you should just take your wife, s**... and with abandon, right there and then, no matter the circumstance."
The man agrees that it seems a good idea. Two weeks later, he returns for his normal session with the psychiatrist.
"How did things go?" asks the psychiatrist.
"Absolutely amazing," says the man. "One night, as we sat down to dinner, I looked at my wife. She looked at me and we immediately made mad, passionate love right there on the table."
"So, things are good?" asks the psychiatrist.
"Couldn't be better," says the guy, "except we're can't eat at the Denny's next to our house anymore."
Titanium is a most amorous metal...
When it gets hot, it'll combine with anything.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Old Buddy Hackett Joke:
A very young amorous couple were walking through a cemetary and feeling frisky . So the woman lay down on a grave marker and they made love. A week later the woman's back is still hurting her , so she sees a doctor. The doctor tells her to disrobe, then tells her to turn around to examine her back . The doctor asks her," How old are you?". She says ," I'm 20 years old, why do you ask." The doctor replies, " Because your a**... says you died in 1898."
Old washing machine
Husband is walking behind his wife and says, Your bottom is getting so big it looks like an old washing machine.
The woman keeps quiet and keeps walking.
Bedtime comes round and the husband starts getting amorous.
Wife says, I'm not starting the old washing machine for such a small load. You'll have to do it by hand!
Young Love
A guy and his girl go out on a date, then he drives to a scenic point, parks the car and tries to get amorous. The girl stops him with a "Why don't we just talk..."
The guy counters. "If I wanted to talk, I'd be out with my best friend".
The girl says "If I wanted to make out, *I'd* be out with your best friend".
The appointment.
Jack wakes up one morning next to Jill. He's feeling amorous and starts caressing her and tugging at her pyjama bottoms. She groans and says, "oh... not now, honey. You know I have a gynecologist appointment this morning...." Jack rolls over resignedly. After a few minutes he turns back toward her and says, "umm... you don't have a dentist appointment, do you?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... advice from Janet Reno
Hillary Clinton is having lunch with Janet Reno at Chipotle one day. She complains to Janet that Bill is just insatiable in bed, and sometimes wishes she had a way to deflect him.
Janet tells Hillary that whenever a she needs to fend off amorous advances, she farts as loudly as she can, and that tends to do the trick.
Hillary thinks this is a great idea and decides to try it.
That night, Hillary is lying in bed with her back to Bill's side. Bill saunters in at full mast, and just as he is lifting the covers, Hillary releases the black bean fury she had been saving since lunch. Bill, aghast exclaims "Janet?! Is that you?!"
Share These Amorous Jokes With Friends