The Best 33 Ammo Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Ammo jokes. There are some ammo shotgun jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these ammo caliber puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Ammo Jokes and Puns
A guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into a crowded local bar, holding a pistol in his hand and yelling, I have a 45 caliber pistol here with seven rounds in the barrel plus one in the chamber and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife.
A voice from the other end of the bar called out, You'll need more ammo
I'm not saying you're old, but....
Ok guys I need some ammo for my ongoing age war with my business partner. So, I need your help. Here's a few I've used to get you started.
I'm not saying you're old, but I did hear that Moses owes u $20.
You know it's bad when dirt sees you and says, "now that's old!!"
What was it like to meet Lincoln?
(I thought about changing that to "shoot Lincoln," but I don't wanna start any new conspiracy theories)
It makes sense that McDonald's doesn't manufacture any sort of ammo.
It would just go right through you.
Guy joins the Army...
... but they are out of bayonets and ammo. They tell him to run into battle yelling "Bangitty bangitty bang!!! "Stabbity stabbity stab!"
Much to his surprise, enemy soldiers are dropping all around him.
Then, this really big enemy comes over the hill. The guy yells, "Bangitty bangitty bang!!! "Stabbity stabbity stab!", but the enemy keeps advancing and mows him down. As the enemy walks over him, he hears him shout, "Tankitty tankitty tank!"
A man with a gun walks in to a bar...
He unholsters the weapon and waves it in the air, shouting, "I have a 45 caliber Colt 1911 with 7 rounds in the magazine and one in the chamber, and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife!"
A voice from the back shouts, "you're gonna need more ammo!"
Guy walks into a bar with a unholsteret gun
Entering he waves it in the air shouting
"This is a 8 round loaded 1911, now tell me who slept with my wife!"
Shortly after you hear a yelling from the background.
"YOU NEED MORE AMMO!"
A Guy Walks Into a Bar with a Loaded Six Shooter with 1 in the Chamber
And yells "Who slept with my wife!? I'm gunna shoot that motherfuc***!"
A guy in the back yells back
"You're gunna need more ammo!"
Short gun story
A man walked into a crowded bar waving his unholstered pistol and yelled, "I have a colt 45 model 1911 with a seven round magazine plus one in the chamber and I want to know who is sleeping with my wife!"
A voice yelled from the back of the bar, "You're gonna need more ammo!"
I got banned from laser tag today.
Apparently they frown on using a knife to save ammo.
I used my knife to conserve ammo...
the rest of the paintball tournament were horrified
I got banned from laser tag today....
I guess they didn't like it when i used a knife to save ammo.
You can explore ammo pistol reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ammo rifle dad jokes. There are also ammo puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A man walks into a bar with a gun.
A man walks into a bar with a gun and yells out loud, "I have a 1911 with 7 rounds and 1 in the chamber! I heard the man who was sleeping with my wife hangs out here! Where is he!?" From the back of the bar a man shouts out, "You're gonna need more ammo!"
So...I got banned from laser tag today
Apparently you can't use a knife to conserve ammo
My friend couldn't stop sneezing and I said, "man, your nose is like a shotgun with unlimited ammo!"
He said, "It's ah.. ahh.. an-an-allergy"
I said, "no, simile".
They say the feds track all internet activity and look out for keywords that indicate terrorism or otherwise
I wanted to test this out and Googled "how to kill President"
Few days later I received a care package containing ammo
Little Jhonny asks his father: "Dad, why grandma is doing that weird dance in our garden?"
"Grandma to some, mother-in-law to others. Better pass me that box of ammo over there, son".
A guy enters in a bar...
A angry guy enters in a bar with an assault rifle in his hands. When they saw him, every customers went silent in fear. The angry guy screamed : " where is the guy that slept with me wife?!? " Every customer stared at each other, then started laughing. "What's so funny?", asked the one holding the gun. A customer at the back of the back then yelled : "No chances you have enough ammo in there! "
A Jewish and Russian soldier come under heavy fire...
As both engage the enemy the Jewish soldier is struck with a bullet and mortally wounded.
The Russian soldier continues to return fire and hold back the enemy, eventually however his ammo is spent.
He looks to his Jewish comrade and says I cannot hold them back, I'm out of ammunition
The Jew, struggling to keep his eyes open motions the Russian over. Here he says you can buy some of mine .
In the middle of the battle, I decided to use a knife to preserve my ammo.
All the other paintball players started freaking out though.
Don't call people online 'NPCs'. It's insulting.
NPCs give you health and ammo.
Why do the school shooters never run out of ammo?
Because there are a lot of documents with bullets in schools.
I'll never forget the time in Iraq when the order came to fix bayonets.
I said, "Lieutenant, we are surrounded and running low on ammo. I don't think now is the right time for equipment maintenance."
A man enters a bar with a shotgun
He yells: "Who slept with my wife?!"
The barman says: "Are you crazy?! You'll not have enough ammo!"
A man angrily walks into a local bar holding a revolver and demands to know whose been sleeping with his wife.
A man in the back of the bar shouts back, You don't have enough ammo
My platoon recieved an air drop that was supposed to contain MREs but there must have been a mix up because all we got were ammo and guns.
It was irrational.
A guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into a crowded bar holding a pistol and yells I have a 45 caliber colt 1911 with one in the chamber and I wanna know who's been sleeping with my wife .
A voice from the back of the room yells
You're going to need more ammo
Israelis and Palestinians are fighting a battle.
From the israeli side, a machine gun fires, bang bang bang bang bang bang bang.
From the Palestinian side, a rifle goes bang bang
This goes on for a bit until suddenly, the Palestinian side goes quiet.
A head pokes out of the Israeli foxhole. Hey Muhammad! You run out of ammo?
Yeah!
Well come on over, i'll sell you some!
A school robotics team made an ultimate weapon, and needed ammo that makes everything fall apart.
That's why they used common core standards.
Where do gun owners get their ammo?
On Ammozon
What do you call a homeless man with a gun?
Anything you want. He can't afford ammo.
Soviet Russia
A depressed man is walking on the street muttering: "Out of milk, out of eggs, out of meat..."
A member of the police force approaches him: "Shut up or I'll wack you across the head with my gun."
"...Out of ammo"
I stabbed the opponent with my knife to preserve ammo
The paintball arena staff threw me out for some reason.
A guy walked into a crowded bar waving his
unholstered pistol and yelled "I have a 45 Caliber Colt 1911 with a seven round clip plus one in the chamber and I want to know who has been sleeping with my wife."
A voice from the back of the room called out "you need more ammo!"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the ammo troop jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working ammo firearm piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.