Ammo Jokes
43 ammo jokes and hilarious ammo puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ammo that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Recreational shooters and gun enthusiasts get a good laugh out of these funny ammo jokes! Find out why some are comparing the current ammo shortage to a certain Colt 9mm pistol and why it might make you think twice before you buy! Enjoy a good chuckle while reading these ammo jokes!
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Funniest Ammo Short Jokes
Short ammo jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ammo humour may include short armor jokes also.
- In the middle of the battle, I decided to use a knife to preserve my ammo. All the other paintball players started freaking out though.
- I got banned from laser tag today.... I guess they didn't like it when i used a knife to save ammo.
- I stabbed the opponent with my knife to preserve ammo The paintball arena staff threw me out for some reason.
- A school robotics team made an ultimate weapon, and needed ammo that makes everything fall apart. That's why they used common core standards.
- My friend couldn't stop sneezing and I said, "man, your nose is like a shotgun with unlimited ammo!" He said, "It's ah.. ahh.. an-an-allergy"
I said, "no, simile". - If you want to hunt birds at night, you should bring a Texan along. They always seem to remember the owl-ammo.
- Little Jhonny asks his father: "Dad, why grandma is doing that weird dance in our garden?" "Grandma to some, mother-in-law to others. Better pass me that box of ammo over there, son".
- My platoon recieved an air drop that was supposed to contain MREs but there must have been a mix up because all we got were ammo and guns. It was irrational.
- A man angrily walks into a local bar holding a revolver and demands to know whose been sleeping with his wife. A man in the back of the bar shouts back, You don't have enough ammo
- A man enters a bar with a shotgun He yells: "Who slept with my wife?!"
The barman says: "Are you crazy?! You'll not have enough ammo!"
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Ammo One Liners
Which ammo one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ammo? I can suggest the ones about atom and amber.
- I got banned from laser tag today. Apparently they frown on using a knife to save ammo.
- I used my knife to conserve ammo... the rest of the paintball tournament were horrified
- So...I got banned from laser tag today Apparently you can't use a knife to conserve ammo
- Where do gun owners get their ammo? On Ammozon
- What do you call a homeless man with a gun? Anything you want. He can't afford ammo.
- Don't call people online 'NPCs'. It's insulting. NPCs give you health and ammo.
- Where do white kids go back to school shop? Gun and ammo store
Quirky and Hilarious Ammo Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about ammo you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean armed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ammo pranks.
A guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into a crowded local bar, holding a p**... in his hand and yelling, I have a 45 caliber p**... here with seven rounds in the barrel plus one in the chamber and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife.
A voice from the other end of the bar called out, You'll need more ammo
military jokes
"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend."
--U.S. Marine Corps
"Cluster b**... from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."
--USAF Ammo Troop
"If the enemy is in range, so are you."
--Infantry Journal
"A slipping gear could let your m203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
--Army's magazine of prevention maintenance
"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."
--U.S. Air Force manual
"Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo."
--Infantry Journal
"Tracers work both ways."
--U.S. Army Ordnance
"Five-second fuses only last three seconds."
--Infantry Journal
"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
--David Hackworth
"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush."
--Infantry Journal
"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."
--Joe Gay
"Any ship can be a minesweeper....once."
--Anon
"Never tell the platoon sergeant you have nothing to do."
--Unknown Marine Recruit
"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
--Infantry Journal
"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him."
--USAF Ammo Troop
I bet he felt pretty good about himself...
A man walks into the local sporting goods store with the hopes of purchasing some ammunition, as he has every Saturday for the past two months (with nothing but bare shelves), despite the recent shortage. Much to the man's luck, the store just received a large shipment of ammo that morning and he is the first customer in line. Knowing he had to take advantage of the opportunity, he buys 2,000 rounds each of .45's and 9mm's. Happy that he was finally able to find some ammo, he loads his purchase into the back of his pick-up truck and heads to the range. On the way, he stops at a gas station to fill up. A beautiful, buxom blonde pulls up next to him and notices the thousands of rounds of ammo in his truck bed. Well aware of the ammo shortage, and being an avid shooter herself, she decides to offer the man a proposition: "I couldn't help but notice all the ammo in the back of your truck," she purrs, "how about we trade some ammo for a little s**...?" The man considers her offer, knowing his previous difficulty. "Sure", he says, "what kind of ammo you got?"
I'm not saying you're old, but....
Ok guys I need some ammo for my ongoing age war with my business partner. So, I need your help. Here's a few I've used to get you started.
I'm not saying you're old, but I did hear that Moses owes u $20.
You know it's bad when dirt sees you and says, "now that's old!!"
What was it like to meet Lincoln?
(I thought about changing that to "shoot Lincoln," but I don't wanna start any new conspiracy theories)
It makes sense that McDonald's doesn't manufacture any sort of ammo.
It would just go right through you.
Guy joins the Army...
... but they are out of bayonets and ammo. They tell him to run into battle yelling "Bangitty bangitty bang!!! "Stabbity stabbity stab!"
Much to his surprise, enemy soldiers are dropping all around him.
Then, this really big enemy comes over the hill. The guy yells, "Bangitty bangitty bang!!! "Stabbity stabbity stab!", but the enemy keeps advancing and mows him down. As the enemy walks over him, he hears him shout, "Tankitty tankitty tank!"
A man with a gun walks in to a bar...
He unholsters the weapon and waves it in the air, shouting, "I have a 45 caliber Colt 1911 with 7 rounds in the magazine and one in the chamber, and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife!"
A voice from the back shouts, "you're gonna need more ammo!"
Guy walks into a bar with a unholsteret gun
Entering he waves it in the air shouting
"This is a 8 round loaded 1911, now tell me who slept with my wife!"
Shortly after you hear a yelling from the background.
"YOU NEED MORE AMMO!"
A Guy Walks Into a Bar with a Loaded Six Shooter with 1 in the Chamber
And yells "Who slept with my wife!? I'm gunna shoot that motherfuc***!"
A guy in the back yells back
"You're gunna need more ammo!"
Short gun story
A man walked into a crowded bar waving his unholstered p**... and yelled, "I have a colt 45 model 1911 with a seven round magazine plus one in the chamber and I want to know who is sleeping with my wife!"
A voice yelled from the back of the bar, "You're gonna need more ammo!"
A man walks into a bar with a gun.
A man walks into a bar with a gun and yells out loud, "I have a 1911 with 7 rounds and 1 in the chamber! I heard the man who was sleeping with my wife hangs out here! Where is he!?" From the back of the bar a man shouts out, "You're gonna need more ammo!"
They say the feds track all internet activity and look out for keywords that indicate terrorism or otherwise
I wanted to test this out and Googled "h**... President"
Few days later I received a care package containing ammo
A guy enters in a bar...
A angry guy enters in a bar with an assault rifle in his hands. When they saw him, every customers went silent in fear. The angry guy screamed : " where is the guy that slept with me wife?!? " Every customer stared at each other, then started laughing. "What's so funny?", asked the one holding the gun. A customer at the back of the back then yelled : "No chances you have enough ammo in there! "
A Jewish and Russian soldier come under heavy fire...
As both engage the enemy the Jewish soldier is struck with a bullet and mortally wounded.
The Russian soldier continues to return fire and hold back the enemy, eventually however his ammo is spent.
He looks to his Jewish comrade and says I cannot hold them back, I'm out of ammunition
The Jew, struggling to keep his eyes open motions the Russian over. Here he says you can buy some of mine .
Why do the school shooters never run out of ammo?
Because there are a lot of documents with bullets in schools.
I'll never forget the time in Iraq when the order came to fix bayonets.
I said, "Lieutenant, we are surrounded and running low on ammo. I don't think now is the right time for equipment maintenance."
A guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into a crowded bar holding a p**... and yells I have a 45 caliber colt 1911 with one in the chamber and I wanna know who's been sleeping with my wife .
A voice from the back of the room yells
You're going to need more ammo
Israelis and Palestinians are fighting a battle.
From the israeli side, a machine gun fires, bang bang bang bang bang bang bang.
From the Palestinian side, a rifle goes bang bang
This goes on for a bit until suddenly, the Palestinian side goes quiet.
A head pokes out of the Israeli foxhole. Hey Muhammad! You run out of ammo?
Yeah!
Well come on over, i'll sell you some!
Soviet Russia
A depressed man is walking on the street muttering: "Out of milk, out of eggs, out of meat..."
A member of the police force approaches him: "Shut up or I'll wack you across the head with my gun."
"...Out of ammo"
A guy walked into a crowded bar waving his
unholstered p**... and yelled "I have a 45 Caliber Colt 1911 with a seven round clip plus one in the chamber and I want to know who has been sleeping with my wife."
A voice from the back of the room called out "you need more ammo!"
A guy walks into a bar waving a p**...
He yells I've got a 7 round magazine and one in the chamber, now I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife!
A guy from the back of the room calls out you're gonna need more ammo!
