Amidst Jokes
8 amidst jokes and hilarious amidst puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about amidst that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Great Amidst Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What is a good amidst joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A programmer and his colleagues attempt to enter a restaurant
Amidst their chatting, one of them approaches the receptionist:
"Table for 8, please"
"Are you sure, Mister?" she replied. "I can see there are actually 9 of you here"
"What? No, you're mistaken. We're 8 people, look"
He turns around, and begins doing a head count:
"0, 1, 2, 3..."
Breaking news: Amidst all the chaos, Eminem just got kicked out of a very high end bar.
Apparantly he asked the bartender for 4 shots but the bartender refused service and said you only get one shot.
Amidst all of the distractions on this 4th of July, let's not forget what we're celebrating
That the British blew a 13 colony lead
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A football coach addresses his team amidst rumors of his racism...
and says:
"I know people have been saying things, but those rumors couldn't be farther from the truth. The truth is, I don't care what color any of you are. I don't care if you're black. I don't care if you're white. It simply doesn't matter. So, I'll tell you what. From now on, you're all green.
"Now, everybody get on the bus. Light green in front, dark green in back."
Amidst all of the current negativity, it's important to remember...
There's only 35 claps left until Christmas.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A panda walks into a cafe...
A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons.
"Why?" asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit.
The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. "Well, I'm a panda," he says. "Look it up."
The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. "Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. **Eats, shoots and leaves.**"
\* Stolen from Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A white nationalist walks into a bar.
He sits sullenly at the bar amidst a sea of minorities and sighs heavily. The bartender comes around and asks what he can get for him.
The white nationalist replies: "Can I get a country where I can live among people from my own ancestry? It is like this nation isn't even mine anymore. We have people coming in from God knows where to do God knows what. I am not a racist, I am just fed up with all of these different people coming in with their own customs. Why don't they stay in their country?"
Before the bartender could reply, a Native American patron spoke up: "Please cancel that whiskey. I will have what he is having!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two whales in the sea
One whale says, "BOY, am I hungry!"
The other says, "Sailors, in the distance you'll see!"
They swim over yonder
They blow their holes and the sailors are gonners.
Amidst in the ocean
One whale makes a motion
"Let's s**... them up!" says one whale to the other
"Oh no not me, brother."
"Why not, they're delicious."
"Well, my sexuality would be suspicious!"
"...I'll blow these sailors, no matter where or when."
"...But gosh darnit if I'll s**... the s**...! That seems like a sin."
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