Following is our collection of funny Americans jokes. There are some americans afghans jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these americans american indian puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Foot fetish
There would be mass confusion.
School is my answer
Because it's always too soon.
^(i feel bad)
Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.
Americans don't get them.
Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit
down to order a pitcher of beer. As they're sitting there
sucking back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says,
"How would you boys like a blow job?"
The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him
unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer.
His buddy looks over and says, "Hey Joe, what did you do
that for?"
Joe replies, "Not sure but it was something about getting
a job!"
Because Canadians say "Eh", and Mexicans say "Ci".
The United Nations initiated a poll with the request, "Please tell us your honest opinion about the lack of food in the rest of the world."
The poll was a total failure.
The Russians did not understand "Please". The Italians did not know the word "honest". The Chinese did not know what an "opinion" was. The Europeans did not know "lack", while the Africans did not know "food". Finally, the Americans didn't know anything about the "rest of the world".
If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it'll grow a culture
I live next door to a hot 10 year old girl.
You can explore americans patriotic reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean americans voted dad jokes. There are also americans puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Because they cant defend their towers.
Free healthcare
After 6 months his mom calls him and she asks how he finds the Americans. Horrible, he says. They always yell and scream. He hates how they pound on the walls and stomp the floors. Oh pure! she says, how do you get by?
I just relax in bed, playing me bagpipes, says the lad.
They always shoot the black ones first.
^^^^sorry...
They're afraid of change.
They'll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving.
Americans geography.
I told him, "Dude, we literally drive on the right side."
because they can't protect their towers
Just kidding, you can't change anything in the United States.
Immigrants do the jobs Americans don't want to do.
I'm so glad I'm in the 1%.
because there's no Americans sitting in them.
But every time I see one of those statistics maps about how terrible we are, there's this little country on the northwest border of Canada that's just as bad as we are.
They have the best schools for it.
None; they're content to wander around in the dark pretending everything's okay.
Because they don't have 2 towers.
"God created War so that Americans would learn Geography" - Mark Twain
I really hate babies.
Because it's white and all over their land.
Won't beheading there anymore
Donald looks down on the cities below and says "I think I'll throw a 1000$ bill out of the window and make some american happy. Melanie says "Oh honey why not throw 10 100$ bills and make 10 americans happy?"
So then Ivanka says "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out of the window and make 100 americans happy?" To that the pilot says " Why dont you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
95% of americans were shocked to find out what happened next.
The only time of the year Americans say the day and month in the correct order.
They can't defend towers.
Because they use 9mms at school.
Tell them it's nearly finished.
The other 20% are dead
Glad to know I'm in the other 2%.
Because April showers bring May flowers and Mayflowers bring white people
Terrorist: "Say your last words!"
Dad: "Your last words!"
Terrorist: "What? ugh, you Americans. Be serious!"
Dad: "Okay, I'll be Sirius. Who are you going to be?"
Terrorist: "Stop. Why isn't this scaring your?"
Dad: "Nothing really scares me anymore; not since I saw that monster henway."
Terrorist: "What's a 'henway'"?
Dad: "About a pound and a half."
Terrorist: "Stop! I'm serious!"
Dad: "Hi Sirius! I'm Dad!"
Because they shoot the ones that go to school
People will eventually get over it.
They can't defend the towers
North Koreans can't tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can't tell if their leader is dead serious.
I mean, their healthcare is a joke and most of them don't even get it.
Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom.
It goes to show in the midst of a worldwide pandemic, The Average American only cares about his own ass.
It's the only time Americans pronounce dates correctly.
Tell them to stay inside the car.
but americans wont get it.
because they practice at the best schools
Trump decides to drop a 100 dollar note from the plane. His wife asks what he is doing. His reply is I want to make an American happy
His wife replies back Why don't you drop ten 10 dollar notes and make ten Americans happy?
Their daughter gives a suggestion Why don't you drop hundred 1 dollar notes and make hundred Americans happy?
The pilot overhears their conversation and gives his own suggestion on the matter.
Why don't you three drop yourselves from the plane and make all Americans happy?
''"I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs." One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
But I'm not sure the Americans will get it.
We in Russia get results 20 years before the elections.
Dear Americans,
As today is 9.11 I wish you all the best and am really sorry for your losses.
Greetings from Europe!
Americans are so lucky that wherever they fight terrorism they manage to find oil.
ⓘ This claim is disputed
Opinions
Tell them immigrants are coming to America to take all their vaccines.
I guess we're just raised differently.
Because it's white and settles on their land.
### 4 million of these people enter our country every year. They are uneducated, unskilled, and contribute nothing. They are a burden to honest, hardworking Americans and our government is doing nothing to stop them, not to mention they're dirty and they smell bad. THEY DON'T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH!!
I really hate babies.
But that's just a Conservative estimate
Cause they dont get it
'Father, father look' , the kid points to a newspaper and says excitedly ' The Americans have gone to the moon '.
The farmer drops his plough and asks excitedly ;
'All of them'
'No just 3', replies the kid
'Damn it'
The father shakes his head in disappointment and goes back to the field.
Because they shoot all the ones who go to school
I was in London last summer, and I got food poisoning. I lost 6 kilograms. See a lot of Americans don't understand that because it's metric. But I did the math, and 6 kilograms is over $720,000 in cocaine.
And the frontier.
Liars
And America never loses
It keeps getting struck down by the Supreme Quart.
Because they like fast-food.
(This one actually came from my dad if that gets extra points.)
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the americans american football jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working americans american idol piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.