There would be mass confusion.
School is my answer
Because it's always too soon.
^(i feel bad)
Because they shoot the ones that go to school
Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.
Donald looks down on the cities below and says "I think I'll throw a 1000$ bill out of the window and make some american happy. Melanie says "Oh honey why not throw 10 100$ bills and make 10 americans happy?"
So then Ivanka says "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out of the window and make 100 americans happy?" To that the pilot says " Why dont you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
The only time of the year Americans say the day and month in the correct order.
Because they use 9mms at school.
I'm so glad I'm in the 1%.
Because it's white and settles on their land.
Terrorist: "Say your last words!"
Dad: "Your last words!"
Terrorist: "What? ugh, you Americans. Be serious!"
Dad: "Okay, I'll be Sirius. Who are you going to be?"
Terrorist: "Stop. Why isn't this scaring your?"
Dad: "Nothing really scares me anymore; not since I saw that monster henway."
Terrorist: "What's a 'henway'"?
Dad: "About a pound and a half."
Terrorist: "Stop! I'm serious!"
Dad: "Hi Sirius! I'm Dad!"
Immigrants do the jobs Americans don't want to do.
Glad to know I'm in the other 2%.
Because April showers bring May flowers and Mayflowers bring white people
Just kidding, you can't change anything in the United States.
None; they're content to wander around in the dark pretending everything's okay.
Tell them it's nearly finished.
"God created War so that Americans would learn Geography" - Mark Twain
Because fuck u that's why.
because they can't protect their towers
Won't beheading there anymore
Because Canadians say "Eh", and Mexicans say "Ci".
Because they don't have 2 towers.
because there's no Americans sitting in them.
If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it'll grow a culture
95% of americans were shocked to find out what happened next.
The teller gives him $180.
The Asian man complains: "But yestaday, I get $200. Why less today?"
The teller shrugs and replies: "Fluctuations"
Livid, the Asian man yells "Well, fuck you Americans too!"
I told him, "Dude, we literally drive on the right side."
They have the best schools for it.
Americans don't get them.
The other 20% are dead
But every time I see one of those statistics maps about how terrible we are, there's this little country on the northwest border of Canada that's just as bad as we are.
Foot fetish
Went to a bank near his hotel to exchange his yen for dollars. He hands the teller 1,000 yen and he gets 10 dollars. The next day he goes to the same bank and hands the teller 1,000 yen only this time he gets back 8 dollars. When the Japanese man asks why, the teller replies "Because fluctuations." the Japanese man says "Oh yeah? Well fuck you Americans too!"
-edit. changed 100 yen to 1,000.
They'll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving.
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