Following is our collection of patriotic humor and afghans one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Americans puns for adults, dirty voted jokes or clean men gags for kids.
There is an abundance of italian frenchman and american jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 69 funniest jokes on americans. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any american tourist witze you can hear about americans.
Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom.
There would be mass confusion.
School is my answer
Because it's always too soon.
^(i feel bad)
North Koreans can't tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can't tell if their leader is dead serious.
Because they shoot the ones that go to school
Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.
Donald looks down on the cities below and says "I think I'll throw a 1000$ bill out of the window and make some american happy. Melanie says "Oh honey why not throw 10 100$ bills and make 10 americans happy?"
So then Ivanka says "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out of the window and make 100 americans happy?" To that the pilot says " Why dont you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
They can't defend the towers
The only time of the year Americans say the day and month in the correct order.
Because they use 9mms at school.
I'm so glad I'm in the 1%.
It's the only time Americans pronounce dates correctly.
Terrorist: "Say your last words!"
Dad: "Your last words!"
Terrorist: "What? ugh, you Americans. Be serious!"
Dad: "Okay, I'll be Sirius. Who are you going to be?"
Terrorist: "Stop. Why isn't this scaring your?"
Dad: "Nothing really scares me anymore; not since I saw that monster henway."
Terrorist: "What's a 'henway'"?
Dad: "About a pound and a half."
Terrorist: "Stop! I'm serious!"
Dad: "Hi Sirius! I'm Dad!"
Immigrants do the jobs Americans don't want to do.
Glad to know I'm in the other 2%.
People will eventually get over it.
Because April showers bring May flowers and Mayflowers bring white people
Just kidding, you can't change anything in the United States.
None; they're content to wander around in the dark pretending everything's okay.
Tell them it's nearly finished.
"God created War so that Americans would learn Geography" - Mark Twain
because they can't protect their towers
Won't beheading there anymore
It goes to show in the midst of a worldwide pandemic, The Average American only cares about his own ass.
Because Canadians say "Eh", and Mexicans say "Ci".
Because they don't have 2 towers.
because there's no Americans sitting in them.
If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it'll grow a culture
95% of americans were shocked to find out what happened next.
I told him, "Dude, we literally drive on the right side."
They have the best schools for it.
Americans don't get them.
The other 20% are dead
But every time I see one of those statistics maps about how terrible we are, there's this little country on the northwest border of Canada that's just as bad as we are.
Foot fetish
I mean, their healthcare is a joke and most of them don't even get it.
They'll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving.
The United Nations initiated a poll with the request, "Please tell us your honest opinion about the lack of food in the rest of the world."
The poll was a total failure.
The Russians did not understand "Please". The Italians did not know the word "honest". The Chinese did not know what an "opinion" was. The Europeans did not know "lack", while the Africans did not know "food". Finally, the Americans didn't know anything about the "rest of the world".
Because they cant defend their towers.
They always shoot the black ones first.
^^^^sorry...
I really hate babies.
They can't defend towers.
I live next door to a hot 10 year old girl.
Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit
down to order a pitcher of beer. As they're sitting there
sucking back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says,
"How would you boys like a blow job?"
The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him
unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer.
His buddy looks over and says, "Hey Joe, what did you do
that for?"
Joe replies, "Not sure but it was something about getting
a job!"
Free healthcare
They're afraid of change.
After 6 months his mom calls him and she asks how he finds the Americans. Horrible, he says. They always yell and scream. He hates how they pound on the walls and stomp the floors. Oh pure! she says, how do you get by?
I just relax in bed, playing me bagpipes, says the lad.
Americans geography.
Because they might commit a mass shooting just to fit in with the culture.
Because it's white and all over their land.
Asian: "why is my plane late? It said it would be here at 6:30."
Airplane help guy: "fluctuations."
Asian: "fluck you americans too."
He looks over the guns until the cashier asks what he wants. The man couldn't decide so the cashier asked, "what are you shooting?" The man said "cans". The cashier asked, "what kind of cans?" The man took a pause, than finally said "oh you know, Americans, Mexicans, Africans."
That would cause mass confusion.
Dress them up as dead lions
Because they always shoot the black ones first...
weighs as much as the other two combined
Because when they dance, they make it rain.
They went black and now they are going back.
They lost their reservations.
But at least we invented the hamburger
We need to keep all those crazy Americans contained.
The question was: "What is commonly found in cells?"
Apparently, "African Americans" wasn't the correct answer.
Because they have the right to bare arms
Because the last one to have a dream got shot
April showers bring Mayflowers.
A Brazilian.
...because it is white and settles all over their land.
For a country with 4 dads, you would think they'd be more accepting.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.