Following is our collection of American jokes which are very funny. There are some american cuban jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these american homeland puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
**An African student:** What's food?
**A European student:** What's scarcity?
**An American student:** What are 'other countries'?
**A Chinese student:** What's 'my own opinion'?
An American doesn't have trouble-shooting.
When every American knows that America is the best country in the world.
Because it's always too soon.
^(i feel bad)
He didn't have a reservation.
American girls get stoned BEFORE they commit adultery.
Great, now future archeologists are gonna think the French got there first.
With a crane.
They've left those kids a loan.
American teenage girls get stoned BEFORE they have sex.
because they can't protect their towers
You can explore american dmz reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean american frenchman dad jokes. There are also american puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
two to three times a week; whereas a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. This is upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese.
Just kidding, you can't change anything in the United States.
I'm so glad I'm in the 1%.
...General Keith B. Alexander (the head of the NSA) and asked him on what grounds he wanted to continue observing the American people's cell phone/internet communications.
The General sighed and shook his head. "Some men just want to watch the world, Bern."
That is the joke. There's no punchline here.
Because orange is the new black.
By their last names.
Which just goes to show you that those people will take jobs that no American wants.
Who says they can't integrate into American culture?
...they planted the American Flag. After all these years the radiation from the Sun will have bleached it completely white, so now if Aliens find it they are going to think the French were there first.
The Air Force, because its US AF.
American.
None; they're content to wander around in the dark pretending everything's okay.
The Brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!"
The Mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!"
The American proceeds to throw the Mexican out of the helicopter.
"Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the Brit.
The American turns around. "He killed my wife."
American girls get stoned BEFORE sex.
To stop hispanic attacks.
Standing on an Ikea podium from *Sweden*, behind bullet proof by Saint Gobain Glass from *France*, smiling at a 4K Sony *Japanese* Video camera, speaking into a Dolby Sennheiser *German* microphone, with vigorous hand gestures giving a glimpse of a Rolex under the cuff made in *Switzerland*
he patriotically said ..*"Buy American, Hire American, Stop Immigrants".* while standing beside a *Slovenian wife*
Donald looks down on the cities below and says "I think I'll throw a 1000$ bill out of the window and make some american happy. Melanie says "Oh honey why not throw 10 100$ bills and make 10 americans happy?"
So then Ivanka says "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out of the window and make 100 americans happy?" To that the pilot says " Why dont you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
Teach a man to run a bank, he'll rob the American people.
The teacher is talking about the American Dream in class and then asks the one German kid if they had a German dream. He responds, "We did, but nobody liked it."
Nobody knows what may happen.
Trump may trump May or May may trump Trump.
Now it looks like the French landed on the moon
After all, Trump may trump May, or May may trump Trump
Because they use 9mms at school.
The patrons freeze in fear, and the saloonkeeper points to the Native American man and whispers "There's a bear right behind you!"
The Native American man holds up a calm hand and says, "I can explain. Bear with me."
Tell them it's nearly finished.
Thoughts and prayers.
American: We have more freedom. I can go over to the president and say "Mr. Reagan, I don't like the way you are running this country".
Russian: What's the big deal in that? I too can go to my president and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Reagan is running his country".
But it's really just Putin trying to interfere with our erections.
Due to solar radiation, the red and blue pigment has disappeared, leaving the flag to be completely white.
Two families move from Pakistan to America. When they arrive the two fathers make a bet to see, in a years time, which family has become more Americanized.
A Year later they meet again. The first man says,"My son is playing baseball. I had breakfast at McDonalds and im on my way to pick up a case of Bud Light.
How about you?"
The second man replies, "Go back to your sand country, towel head"
Because they shoot the ones that go to school
If you want it to go forward you put it in (D) and if you want it to go backwards you put it in (R)
Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
The next day he woke up in the hospital and asked, "Did you bring me here to die?"
The orderly said, "No, mate, we brought you here yesterday."ο»Ώ
...The German doctor says: "That's nothing, in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for a job."
The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we took half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for a job."
The American doctor laughs: "You are all behind us. A few months ago, we took a man with no brain, no heart, and no liver and made him President.
Now, the whole country is looking for a job!"
People will eventually get over it.
They can't defend the towers
''What?! Why?'' - thinks the cowboy.
''Just kill the chief!'' - says the voice.
The cowboy hesitated a bit more and than drew his gun and shot the chief.
As the chief was falling from his horse the voice in the cowboy's head said: ''*Now* you're fucked...''
It's ridiculous and unfair.
Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country.
It goes to show in the midst of a worldwide pandemic, The Average American only cares about his own ass.
An American.
I'm not immigrating or anything, I'm just not proud to be American.
It means Lousy Hunter
I am Native American and this joke has been told to me a couple of times. Thought I'd share.
An American flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board and reports it to the captain.
"Sir, I think we have a case of human traficking! There is an extremely sexy female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened, almost like she has no idea what is going to happen next. The man she is with is a fat old slob and old enough to be her father. He's very sleazy, very sullen and although he speaks English, it is impossible to make out what he's trying to say."
The captain sighed and replied, "look Susan, we've been through this many times before, this is Air Force One..."
Getting to vote in American elections.
because they practice at the best schools
He is in a coma for 24 hours. When he wakes up in the hospital, he is very disoriented.
"Did I come here to die?" he asks.
The nurse replies, "No, love, you came here yestadie!"
American
And orders a drink.
"No drink for US spies" said the barkeep.
The spy goes pale. He pulls out a bottle of Vodka and drains it in one big gulp.
"You drink like Russian, but you are American spy"
The spy pulls out his accordeon and plays a wonderful Russian folk song, everyone in the bar tearing up, including the barkeep.
"You sing like Russian", he said under tears, "but you are American spy"
He starts dancing the Kozachok, worthy of the Bolshoy dancers.
"You dance like Russian, but you are American spy"
"Ok, you got me. But how do you know?"
"There are no black Russians"
Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
Which is nice, because we never get to vote in our own.
We in Russia get results 20 years before the elections.
He caught COVID-19, has massive debt, is about to be evicted from his house and is going to lose his job
When he switched to metric system
"I'm tired and thirsty", said the Frenchman, "I must have wine!"
"I'm tired and thirsty", said the German, "I must have beer!"
"I'm tired and thirsty", said the American, "I must have diabetes..."
Officer: You aren't American. You shouldn't be here.
Spanish Person: But officer, I'm American.
The officer thinks about it and says, If you are, then use the words green, pink, and yellow in a sentence.
The Spaniard thinks for a moment and says, The phone goes green green, I pink it up and say 'Yellow'.
The American gets up, goes to the window (it's not *that* small a plane) pulls a wad of money out of his pocket, and throws it out the window.
"In America, we have plenty of money. We can just throw it away."
The Russian, not to be outdone, rummages in his carry-on bag, pulls out a beautiful fur coat, and throws it out the window.
"In Russia, we have plenty of furs. We can just throw them away!"
The Ukrainian gets up, picks up the Russian, throws him out the window.
"In Ukraine, we have plenty of Russians!"
Chase Young
β This claim is disputed
25 to life
Because there was no American embassy to coordinate it.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the american italian frenchman and american jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working american american tourist piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.