American Jokes

Funniest American Short Jokes

Short american jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The american humour may include short american indian jokes also.

1. North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they're brainwashed by the government and the media. When every American knows that America is the best country in the world.
2. The president of the US is threatening to send the military to suppress US citizens. Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom.
3. Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight... There would be mass confusion.
4. Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings? Because it's always too soon.
   ^(i feel bad)
5. What's the difference between North Korea and the US? North Koreans can't tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can't tell if their leader is dead serious.
6. If this year has taught us anything, it's that donald trump is a regular American citizen He caught COVID-19, has massive debt, is about to be evicted from his house and is going to lose his job
7. What's the difference between a computer and an American? An American doesn't have trouble-shooting.
8. My girlfriend broke up with me for being too un-American I saw it coming from a kilometre away
9. Oh man you know what my favorite thing about being russian is? Getting to vote in American elections.
10. In Britain we call it a "lift" but Americans call it an "elevator". I guess we're just raised differently.

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American One Liners

Which american one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with american? I can suggest the ones about american history and american flag.

1. What is a Karen called in Europe? An American.
2. Why should you always post jokes in American English? They can reach a wider audience.
3. Americans do use the metric system... Because they use 9mms at school.
4. How do you get a dozen Americans out of a car? Tell them to stay inside the car.
5. I heard 8/10 Americans are bad at math... Glad to know I'm in the other 2%.
6. Which of the American forces is the most patriotic? The air force, because its US AF.
7. Why does Djokovic pay with American Express Because he has no visa
8. Why do native Americans hate snow? Because it's white and settles on their land.
9. Americans: "This is not who we are." ⓘ This claim is disputed
10. Why did the Native American sleep in the hotel lobby? He didn't have a reservation.
11. Cant make jokes about vacation to americans Cause they dont get it
12. What is the best way to pick up American girls? With a crane.
13. Iran bans Americans from traveling there. Won't beheading there anymore
14. What do you call an American in the world cup final. Ref
15. I have a joke about universal healthcare but americans wont get it.

Native American Jokes

Here is a list of funny native american jokes and even better native american puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A Native American, Pirate, and Frenchman walk into a bar. The bartender walks over and says, "Gentlemen, hau, arrrrrrr, oui, today?"
• I was viewing a house being sold by a native american i asked him if it came with running water,
  He said 'no, get your own wife'
• A dear friend of mine passed away this week. This was one of his jokes: What do you call half of a thousand native American insomniacs? The Indian nap-less 500.
• I once went to a Native American restaurant but was turned away. They told me it was reservation only.
• Why does the Native American always get a table at the nicest restaurants? He has a reservation.
• Why didn't the native Americans go out to dinner? They lost their reservations.
• Why don't Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore? April showers bring Mayflowers.
• What does a Native American Biologist live in? ATP
• Did you hear about that Native American who drank ten cups of tea one night? They found him dead the next day in his teepee
• Advice from an old native American hunter: Never go hunting for buffalo with a dull spear, it is pointless.

American People Jokes

Here is a list of funny american people jokes and even better american people puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why will the American people never convert to the metric system? Because they'll never accept a foreign ruler.
• So the American people's choices for President will apparently be either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. That is the joke. There's no punchline here.
• What do you call an elevator with a group of slim, softly spoken, intelligent people inside? A Lift
  (only a joke, my American friends)
• ''Mr president, what would you say is your best lie to the American people?'' "I have never lied to the American people."
  "Excellent choice, Mr president. Thank you."
• What do you call 16 white American people? A full blooded Cherokee
• A British Cop and an American Cop are talking in a bar The British cop says "they might take away our tasers because they sometimes kill people"
  The American Cop says "sometimes? seems inneficient"
• I've traveled the world and met people from many countries. From my experience, American kids are some of the nicest, but German children are kinder
• Why isn't NSA mass surveillance a hot topic in the US elections? Because it's the only part of the govt that listens to the American people.
• I am American and sick of people saying Americans are the stupidest people in the world. I don't get it.
• Only SEVEN people die as temperatures as low as -42F wreak havoc across the American Midwest. Apparently guns don't work in those temperatures.

African American Jokes

Here is a list of funny african american jokes and even better african american puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump? Because orange is the new black.
• An African American woman has 5 son's, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone. How do you tell them apart? By their last names.
• What do you call five African-Americans born together? Triplets.
• Why do African Americans always have nightmares? Because the last one to have a dream got shot
• Kudos to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie! They really went out of their way to make their adoptive African children feel like a part of an authentic American family by getting a divorce.
• What do you call an african american in a 3 piece suit? The defendant.
• My African-American friend hooked up with a girl from Thailand... It was a real black-Thai affair.
• I was arrested for punching an elderly African-American lady at Home Depot. My wife told me to find a Black N' Decker.
• My friend showed me a black computer he wanted to buy... I said "Dont you mean an African American computer?" and he replied "Stop being so PC"
• Donald Trump has a new slogan that he hopes will help his numbers with African American voters. "Orange Is The New Black."

Mexican American Jokes

Here is a list of funny mexican american jokes and even better mexican american puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I always thought Americans should say "B". Because Canadians say "Eh", and Mexicans say "Ci".
• A blessing It is a blessing to hear "Jesus loves you." In an American prison, but in a Mexican prison... Oh boy.
• What you call a house with a Mexican and American ghost? A Juan-Ted house
• I love dieting. I'm actually on 4 diets. Chinese, American, Italian and Mexican.
• To all my Americans today: Happy Cinco de Mayo To all my Mexican-American friends: happy Wednesday
• In Colorado you're American In Juarez you're a Mexican.
  In the bathroom European.
• My dad told me: Never say you can't. You're an AmeriCAN Not a MexiCan. My dad was a racist.
• My friend got in trouble for shooting cans... Americans, Mexicans....
• I like American cola just fine, and Mexican cokes are even better! But Columbian coke is especially great!
• if Canadians say "aye" and Mexicans say "si"... does that mean Americans say "b"?

American Football Jokes

Here is a list of funny american football jokes and even better american football puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why don't any American football players wear glasses? Because it is a contact sport!
• As a Brit, I can't get into American football They rugby the wrong way
• My friend spends 75% of his time playing American Football and the other 25% playing Baroque music. He's a quarterbach.
• Democracy and Football What does democracy and football have in common?
  \- adding the word American completely changes the meaning...
• Who is Ghlislane Maxwells favorite American Football player? Chase Young
• How much is your height Indian:- My height is 167cms
  European :- My height is 182.5 cms
  American :- My height is 1/3675 of a Football field
• FOR ONCE AND FOR ALL MY AMERICAN FRIENDS.... It's Mum not Mom
  It's crisps not chips
  It's chips not fries
  It's football not soccer
  It's rugby not football
  It's school not shooting range!
• My new american football video game has so many glitches. It's really maddening
• I find it amusing Americans call it soccer and the English call it football Just like how I find it amusing the English call it shooting range and the Americans call it school
• Why don't the British play American football? All of the Quarterbacks got sacked.

Hilarious American Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends

What funny jokes about american you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean american football jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make american pranks.