American History Jokes

19 american history jokes and hilarious american history puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about american history that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest American History Short Jokes

Short american history jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The american history humour may include short us history jokes also.

  1. Americans are the best at solving Rubik's Cube They have a long history of sorting and separating colour
  2. What do the bad parts of American history and common sense have in common? They are being wiped from existence.
  3. In my history class my professor was talking about the American dream. He asked the German kid if they had a German dream. He responded "Well, we did but no one likes it."
  4. Did you hear they're selling the house where they filmed American History X? The interior is okay but it has really bad curb appeal.
  5. On 9/11, one of the worst things in American history occured... Condolences from the UK on Trump winning the election.
  6. I started studying history and learned something really impressive. Did you know that in the 18th and 19th centuries, the British Navy forced American sailors into service?
  7. Why was 9/11 the worst day in American history? Because on the 9th November Donald Trump was elected president
  8. Nicklebacks' album Silver Side Up was released on Sept. 11, 2001. What are the chances that one of worst days in American history would also be the day a t**... attack took down the twin towers?

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American History One Liners

Which american history one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with american history? I can suggest the ones about world history and history subject.

  1. Jussie Smollett will go down in history For being the first American to scam Nigerians.
  2. What's the biggest lie in American history? You have 2 minutes uninterrupted.

American History Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about american history you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean american people jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make american history pranks.

An attractive woman was reading The History of p**... on the bus the other day...

... I struck up a conversations opening with "That seems interesting"
She responds: "It really is! Did you know that Native Americans have the longest p**... in the world? And Poles the girthiest!"
She extends her hand, I grab it and say... "Tonto Polanski, pleasure to meet you"

List of the shortest books

1. The Australian Book of Foreplay.
2. Contraception by the Pope.
3. The American Guide to Etiquette.
4. Healthy Marriages by the British Royal Family.
5. Consumer Marketing Ethics.
6. Career Opportunities for History Majors.
7. My Life's Memories by Ronald Reagan.
8. Integrity by Bill Clinton.
9. The Wit and Wisdom of George W. Bush.
10. What I've Accomplished by Barack Obama.


Me and Willard in the third grade got us a popsicle just as lunch was ending, We didn't have time to eat em so we just stuck em in our pocket. Later in class the history teacher ask Willard. If you're from America you are an American, what are you if you are from Europe? Willard looked confused and he didn't know the answer. To help, I whispered Willard, European, European! He looked at me and said I ain't done it, it's that d**... ole popsicle,

Since The Simpson's just reached the 600 episode milestone, I'd like to take a moment to remember it's importance to american history ...

Its unwaveringly realistic portrayal of the yellow people's disenfranchisement while pursuing the American Dream is a testament to our nation's tolerant spirit.

A school teacher invited a Native American to give a presentation to his students about their culture

After discussing history, traditions and lifestyle, the conversation turned to language.
"One of the interesting things about our language," he said, "is that there are no cuss words."
"But then what do you say if you are hammering a nail and accidentally hit your finger?" asked a student.
"In that case," he replied, "we use your language."

My history teacher told me a joke about WW2 today...

If you have unknown troops in front of you and you want to find out who they are, fire a few rounds in their direction.
If you are met with precision machine gun fire, they're German.
If you are met by a volley of precision rifle fire, they are British.
If they surrender, they're Italian.
If there is a mass wave of infantry and tanks, they're Russian.
If there is a bayonet and sword charge, they're Japanese.
If everything is quiet for a minute or two, and suddenly you are in the middle of a massive artillery barrage and air strikes, they are American.

An airplane was about to c**....
There were 4 passengers on board but only 3 parachutes.
The 1st passenger said, "I am Stephen King , the best selling author of my time... My millions of fans need me , and i can't afford to die."
So he took the 1st pack and left the planernThe 2nd passenger , Barack Hussein Obama, said , "I am the 44th President of the United States, and I am the smartest President in American history , so my people don't want me to die."
He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.rnThe 3rd passenger, the Pope, said to the 4th passenger, a 10 year old schoolboy, "My son , I am old and don't have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."
The little boy said , "That's okay , Your Holiness, there's a parachute left for you. America's smartest President took my schoolbag."