American Football Jokes

Following is our collection of funny American Football jokes. There are some american football college football jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these american football forward pass puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Comical & Quirky American Football Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

Crossing the Border

A young Mexican man decides he wants to see a bit of America. He swims across the Rio Grande and finds a college football game about to start. He doesn't have any money to get in, so he climbs a flag pole to watch the game. Later that night he swims back across the river and tells his family how friendly the Americans all were, as they all turned to him at the start of the game and asked together, "Jose, can you see?"

English, American and Arab guy bragging in a bar about their large family.

The American says: "I have 4 kids. One more, and I can make a basketball team!"

The English says: "I have 10 kids. One more, and I can make a football ("soccer") team!"

The Arab guy says: "I have 17 wifes. One more, and I can make a golf course!"

Why don't any American football players wear glasses?

Because it is a contact sport!

Britons vs. Americans

It's Mom not Mum
It's Chips not Crisps
It's Fries not Chips
It's Color not Colour
It's Soccer not Football
It's Football not Rugby

It's School not Shooting Range.

jokes about american football

As a Brit, I can't get into American football

They rugby the wrong way

My friend spends 75% of his time playing American Football and the other 25% playing Baroque music.

He's a quarterbach.

Did you know that people wearing glasses aren't allowed to play american football?

That's because it's a contact sport.

Democracy and Football

What does democracy and football have in common?

\- adding the word American completely changes the meaning...

The Corporate Ladder

A recent study in USA have found an interesting relationship between a man social status and the sport he watches

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employee is BOWLING
3. The sport of choice for front line workers is American FOOTBALL
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL
5. The sport of Choice for middle management is TENNIS
6. the sport of Choice for corporate Officers is GOLF

CONCLUSION: The Higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become

Two very old men of unimportant european nationality meet

While talking, one asks: "You watching the football game?" (Soccer for our American friends)

The other says: "Who's playing?"

"Austria-Hungary", says the first.

"Against whom?"

I went to an Arab-American comedy night

there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football. " I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus.. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see someone else's god? "

You can explore american football sports leagues reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean american football winning touchdown dad jokes. There are also american football puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why don't Polish people like playing American football?

They can't defend against a blitz.

TIL College football is actually a combination of two American pastimes

Coercive land grabbing, and exploiting unpaid black labor

What is the object of American football played by really cheap people?

Get the quarter back.

How much is your height

Indian:- My height is 167cms

European :- My height is 182.5 cms

American :- My height is 1/3675 of a Football field

I went to an Arab-American comedy night....

I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.

"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else's god?"


It's Mum not Mom
It's crisps not chips
It's chips not fries
It's football not soccer
It's rugby not football
It's school not shooting range!

My new american football video game has so many glitches.

It's really maddening

So I think I am finally starting to understand American Football..

You get the other guy to the ground.
You go for the touch down.
Grab his ball.
Do a quick turnover.
Go in for the score.
And turn that tight end to the wide receiver.
It all makes sense now.

I find it amusing Americans call it soccer and the English call it football

Just like how I find it amusing the English call it shooting range and the Americans call it school

The Queen of England doesn't know much about American football...

But she does wish someone would do something about those troublesome Patriots.

Why don't the British play American football?

All of the Quarterbacks got sacked.

whats the difference between American soccer and Chilean football?

american soccer and Chilean football are pretty much the same except every goal the Chileans throw a communist from a helicopter.

Do you like getting inebriated with yo' bruv's and watching groups of men in tights prancing around and occasionally slapping each others arses?

No, you say. Then why do you like American football?

Who is the greatest American football player?

David Beckham

What do a homeless woman and an American football player have in common?

They both take their pads off after four periods

How do you know you're playing a Jewish Football team (American Football)

On defense, they only run the Dime Formation

Football is thr perfect American sport.

It teaches us how to steal other people's land by force and punt our problems to somebody else.

It's a shame American football wasn't around during Thomas Jefferson's youth.

He would've made a great Nickelback.

What do you call an incontinent defensive player in American football?

A piddle linebacker

Why is football the single best sport?

Because americans don't play it.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the american football football league puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working american football sport piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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