We'll take the aliens, you get the predators
When every American knows that America is the best country in the world.
Because Ubisoft is in Franceο»Ώ.
One day in office and he has thousands of people getting up and going out for walks on this beautiful Saturday morning.
Because it's always too soon.
^(i feel bad)
It didn't help that she was still wearing them.
Or that his whole family was there.
That made the rest of his sister's funeral kind of awkward.
And who thought you could make the funeral for such a small child more awkward than it already was..
Because they shoot the ones that go to school
We'll return him back to you.
Should we call them Vanilla Isis ?
Thailand reunites boys with their families.
But in China, dogs are e-10
If you want it to go forward you put it in (D) and if you want it to go backwards you put it in (R)
It's almost like it was built on an ancient Indian burial ground.
As he was wandering around taking a look, the clerk asked if he could help the man find anything.
Β
Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. immigration policy regarding Muslims and illegal aliens?
Β
The clerk said, Kiss my ass⦠get out⦠and stay out!
Β
The man said, Yes, that's the one.Β Do you have it in paperback?
It's as if the whole country were built on haunted Indian burial grounds...
Because they use 9mms at school.
...says ''I'll have a bud light.'' The bartender replies ''You're an American, right?'' The guy says ''How did you know, was it the beer or my accent?'' To which the bartender replies ''Neither, you're the fattest fuck i've ever seen in my life.''
The other half are waiting for Comcast to fix their internet connection.
*Thanks for the gold kind stranger.
I'm so glad I'm in the 1%.
Britain is in the lead, but America has a Trump card.
the brewmaster of Budweiser orders first and proudly asks for the most popular brew in America, a Bud Light.
the brewmaster of Miller smiles and asks for a true original, a Miller Lite.
the brewmaster of Guinness winces and orders a Diet Coke.
"a Diet Coke?!," exclaim the others.. "don't you drink Guinness?"
"well shit no one else was having beer I didn't want to be the only one," he complained.
To stop hispanic attacks.
Personally I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world
That is the joke. There's no punchline here.
Barman: Oh, you must be American.
American: You can tell from my order and accent, huh?
Barman: No, because you're the fattest fuck I've ever seen.
They've left those kids a loan.
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture
Because fuck u
that's why
The 45th President of the United States of America.
Neither because they live in America.
Because fuck U, that's why.
In America tv watches you.
The Brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!"
The Mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!"
The American proceeds to throw the Mexican out of the helicopter.
"Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the Brit.
The American turns around. "He killed my wife."
Nobody knows what may happen.
Trump may trump May or May may trump Trump.
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about America? Well, here are the best America dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and America pick up lines to share with friends.