Amen Jokes

Following is our collection of devout humor and hymn one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Amen puns for adults, dirty preach jokes or clean namaste gags for kids.

There is an abundance of amin jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 32 funniest jokes on amen. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any preacher witze you can hear about amen.

The Best jokes about Amen

Why do people say amen instead of awomen at church?

Because they sing hymns, not hers.

I got my kid baptized yesterday

Priest: Β Do you believe in the Holy Spirit and the holy Catholic church?

Me: I do.

Priest: Do you believe in the communion of saints and the forgiveness of sins?

Me: I do.

Priest: Do you believe in the resurrection of the body andΒ life everlasting?

Me: I do

Priest: Do you hereby indemnify and hold harmless the Catholic church for any sexual misconduct to you and your family for ever and ever amen?

Me: I do--- wait! Hold on!

Priest: Too late! You said it!

A preacher trained his horse...

A preacher trained his horse to go when he said "Thank God" and to stop when he said "Amen."


The preacher mounted the horse and said "Thank God" and went for a ride. When he wanted to stop for lunch , he said " "Amen." He took off again saying "Thank God"

The horse started going toward the edge of a cliff. The preacher got excited and said "whoa! whoa!" Then he remembered and said "Amen" and the horse stopped at the edge of the cliff. The preacher was so relieved and grateful that he looked up to heaven and said "Thank God!"

A Preacher, A fiery Sermon and a Hymn

A preacher was winding up a sermon with a tremendous fervour "If I had all the beer in the world, I would take that beer and throw it into the river!"
And the congregation shouted "Amen!"

"And if I had all the wine in the world" he continued "I would take that wine and throw it into the river!"
Once again the congregation shouted back in unison "Amen!"

"And if I had all the rum and whiskey in the world, I would take all of that and throw it ALL into the river"
The congregation cried back "Hallelujah!"

The preacher finished with his sermon, sat back down. The song leader stood up and announced "For our closing song, let us sing hymn number 365, 'Shall We Gather at the River?"

A Catholic priest is surprised by a bear in the forrest

The bear charges him and the priest quickly says a prayer,"Lord, please let this be a nice, Christian bear!"

The bear scoops him up in his arms and quietly speaks, "Lord bless this meal that I am about to receive, amen"


Amen

DuringΒ  Sermon at a Sunday service , the PastorΒ  said: "If I had all the Beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river".

And the congregationΒ  cried, "Amen! "
"And if I had all the Wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it in the river".
And the congregation cried: "Amen!"

"And if I had all the Whiskey and Rum in the world, I'd take it all and throw it in the river".

Again the congregation cried:Β  "Amen!"...

The PastorΒ  sat down.

The JuniorΒ  Pastor then stood up and said: "For our closing Hymn, let's turn to page 126 of our Hymn books and sing,Β  "We shall drink from the river".

The whole Congregation SCREAMED *HALLELUJAH!*

A pastor is finishing up his sermon on sunday morning...

"In preparation for my sermon next week, I want you all to read Mark chapter 17. You are dismissed." So next week everybody comes back to church. After singing a few hymns, the pastor comes to the pulpit.

"How many read Mark chapter 17 like I said last week?" Everyone raised their hand. The pastor says "and it's a great chapter, amen??" There are shouts of "amen!" from the congregation. Then the pastor smirks.

"Well, Mark only has 16 chapters. I will now begin my sermon on the terrible sin of lying."

A priest was giving a sermon about temperance.

With great enthusiasm, he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it in the river!"

The congregation nodded their approval and shouted "Amen!"

He continued, "If I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd throw it in the river!"

"Amen!" the congregation replied again.

The priest sat down and the music minister announced, "For our closing song, let's sing Hymn 362, 'We Shall Gather At the River'."

"AMEN!" The congregation replied.

A southern minister decides to give a temperance sermon one day

Toward the end of the sermon, he says: "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river!" And most of the congregation nodded their heads in approval.

Even louder, he shouts: "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river, too!" The people clapped and said "Amen.

And then finally, he concludes, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river!" After which the congregation cheered loudly in agreement.

Then, the minister sits down, and it's the song leader's turn to speak. He had been quiet during most of the minister's sermon, but he stands up with a big grin, and says: "There's been a last minute change in today's musical selection. Please turn your hymnal to #318: Let Us Drink from the River."

How would the second amendment look if it was written in Canada?

"The right of the people to keep and arm bears shall not be infringed"

Why do feminist hate the bible?

Because it ends with A-men


A religious horse

So, a man decides that he wants to buy a fine horse to get around with and race. He looks around town but can't find one for sale anywhere. At last, he finds an underground shop with a beautiful white horse.

He negotiates the price for the fine steed, but the owner warns him, "This is a special, religious horse. To get her to go, say 'praise the lord!' instead of giddy up. To get her to stop, say "Amen"

So he buys the horse and tests it. He gets on it and forgets what the man said. Then he remembers and says, "Praise the lord!" and it takes off. It runs and runs till he's at the edge of a cliff. He panics and says, "Halt! Stop! " but then remembers and says, "Amen!" and it stops, right on the edge. He says, "Oh, praise the lord..."

What's the first amendment in Super Mario's constitution?

Freedom of Peach

As a second amendment guy I just don't think Jesus would have a problem with guns.

Except nail guns of course

A man decides to purchase a horse...

From a religious woman. She instructs the man that to encourage the horse to run he must say: "Thank god" and to stop the horse: "amen". The man acknowledges this and rides home, pleased with his purchase. The next week he is out riding the horse when he notices he is riding toward a cliff. Panicking he tells the horse to heel. The horse continues to gallop toward the cliff edge as his rider continues to yell "stop" until right at the last minute he remembers the key word. "Amen!" he yells just in time for the horse to stop inches from the edge of the cliff. The man exclaims "Thank god!"

Why dont't feminists go to church?

They can't stand saying "amen"

What is God's least favorite spice?

Sin, Amen!

A soldier on sentry duty fell asleep while standing up,

And woke to find his commanding officer standing in front of him, looking furious. With great presence of mind, the soldier said, "amen"

Why did the feminist get kicked out of church?

She refused to say amen


a simple one

**what do you call a team of**
**religious mutants?**


**A-men**

Instead of studying i tried to pray.

I really hope God will give me an Amen.

Sarah, i understand that you are a feminist...

...but you can't end your prayer with "awomen" instead of "amen"
credits to an anonymous facebook post of which i was too lazy to read the name

Why do the say "Amen" in church but not "Awoman?"

*Because they sing hymns, not hers!*

How do gay guys end their prayers?

With Amen.

How many clergymen does it take to screw a lightbulb?

Amen.

A gay priest walks into a bar full of men,

Amen.

The second amendment

-Officer this is infringing on the second amendment! The right to lead an organized militia!
-sir this is an A10 warthog and an M1A1 Abrams
-there medicinal

What did the homosexual priest say when he walked into a bar full of men?

Amen.

What do broke pastors eat in college?

Amen noodles

Why do we need the second amendment?

I mean, we have rocks so, "same thing" right!?

Why are Catholics the best snipers?

Because they're always Amen for the head

What's the difference between a Bible salesman and a homosexual?

The first one stands at the front door and says amen , while the latter enters through the back door and says ahhh man .

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes