Gather Around for Heartwarming Amen Jokes and Uplifting Humor
a simple one
**what do you call a team of**
**religious mutants?**
**A-men**
Why do the say "Amen" in church but not "Awoman?"
*Because they sing hymns, not hers!*
Why do people say amen instead of awomen at church?
Because they sing hymns, not hers.
I prayed to god, and it finally worked!
"Dear god, please ignore this prayer, in your name, amen."
How many clergymen does it take to screw a lightbulb?
Amen.
Why dont't feminists go to church?
They can't stand saying "amen"
Why do feminist hate the bible?
Because it ends with A-men
Sarah, i understand that you are a feminist...
...but you can't end your prayer with "awomen" instead of "amen"
credits to an anonymous facebook post of which i was too lazy to read the name
What's the first amendment in Super Mario's constitution?
Freedom of Peach
What is God's least favorite spice?
Sin, Amen!
Twenty One Preachers
Fueled by Amen.
You can explore amen devout reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean amen preach dad jokes. There are also amen puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
As a second amendment guy I just don't think Jesus would have a problem with guns.
Except nail guns of course
That o**... in church
Pastor: *ahem*
Guy: AMEN!
Why did the feminist get kicked out of church?
She refused to say amen
What did the First Amendment say to the Second Amendment?
Please upgrade your ISP plan to view content.
A soldier on sentry duty fell asleep while standing up,
And woke to find his commanding officer standing in front of him, looking furious. With great presence of mind, the soldier said, "amen"
How do gay guys end their prayers?
With Amen.
How would the second amendment look if it was written in Canada?
"The right of the people to keep and arm bears shall not be infringed"
A Catholic priest is surprised by a bear in the forrest
The bear charges him and the priest quickly says a prayer,"Lord, please let this be a nice, Christian bear!"
The bear scoops him up in his arms and quietly speaks, "Lord bless this meal that I am about to receive, amen"
Instead of studying i tried to pray.
I really hope God will give me an Amen.
I got my kid baptized yesterday
Priest: Do you believe in the Holy Spirit and the holy Catholic church?
Me: I do.
Priest: Do you believe in the communion of saints and the forgiveness of sins?
Me: I do.
Priest: Do you believe in the resurrection of the body and life everlasting?
Me: I do
Priest: Do you hereby indemnify and hold harmless the Catholic church for any s**... misconduct to you and your family for ever and ever amen?
Me: I do--- wait! Hold on!
Priest: Too late! You said it!
What's the difference between a Bible salesman and a homosexual?
The first one stands at the front door and says amen , while the latter enters through the back door and says ahhh man .
Why are Catholics the best snipers?
Because they're always Amen for the head
A gay priest walks into a bar full of men,
Amen.
What do broke pastors eat in college?
Amen noodles
What did the homosexual priest say when he walked into a bar full of men?
Amen.
Why do we need the second amendment?
I mean, we have rocks so, "same thing" right!?
The second amendment
-Officer this is infringing on the second amendment! The right to lead an organized militia!
-sir this is an A10 warthog and an M1A1 Abrams
-there medicinal
What's the difference between a good nun and a bad nun?
A good nun says amen and a bad nun says ah, men
What's the difference between a rabbi, a priest, and a gay man
The rabbi says Amain
The priest says Amen
And the gay man says Ahh, men
If we're saying Amen and Awomen now...
Are we going to start having to sing hymns and herns?
A lot of people are roasting Cleaver on saying "Awoman"...
I mean, I know that "Amen" comes from Hebrew and means "so be it", and therefore "Awoman" would make no sense in Hebrew.
In Shebrew, however, it makes complete sense!!!
Family Prayer
Little Johnny's family is sitting at the dinner table. Lil Johnny's dad tells him to say the dinner prayer.
Little Johnny says, "Dear God, Thank you for the food we are about to eat, and please, oh please God, send clothes for all those poor ladies on Dad's computer. Amen!"
Second Amendment
The Second Amendment of the Constitution affords me the right to wear short sleeve shirts to work.
The right to bare arms.
A preacher trained his horse to go when he said "Thank God" and to stop when he said "Amen"
The preacher mounted the horse and said "Thank God" and went for a ride. When he wanted to stop for lunch , he said " "Amen." He took off again saying "Thank God"
The horse started going toward the edge of a cliff. The preacher got exited and said "whoa! whoa!" Then he remembered and said "Amen" and the horse stopped at the edge of the cliff. The preacher was so relieved and grateful that he looked up to heaven and said "Thank God!"
Once there was a guy named Bill who wanted a horse.
On Craigslist, Bill saw a Christian horse so he went to check it out.
When Bill got to the ranch, the horse's owner said "It's easy to ride him. Just say 'praise the Lord' to make him go, and 'amen' to make him stop." Bill got on the horse and said "praise the Lord." the horse started to walk. "Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, praise the Lord" and the horse is running. Now Bill sees the cliff and says: "AMEN."
The horse stops and Bill says: "Whew! Praise the lord!"
Why do we say Amen at the end of a prayer and not Awomen?
Because we sings Hymns and not Hers.
