The Best 89 Ambulance Jokes
If you're looking for a laugh, check out our collection of ambulance jokes. From puns to one-liners, we've got jokes to make you smile.
Top 10 Funniest Ambulance Jokes and Puns
Two men are hunting in the woods.
One of them sees a deer and fires, but accidentally shoots his friend in the back. When he realizes what happened, he immediately calls 911.
"Hello, what is your emergency?"
"I think I just killed my friend while hunting!"
"Ok, we'll send an ambulance immediately. But don't say things like that unless you're certain. Can you make sure he's dead?"
The emergency operator hears him walk a few steps then, *bang!*
"Ok, now I'm sure."
Ambulance game
a boy said to a girl "lets play the ambulance game" girl asked "how do u play that?"
the boy said "i run my fingers up your legs and you say red light when you want me to stop"
girl "OK"
after sometime girl screams
red light
red light
ahh ahh red light
boy "ambulance doesn't stop at red light stupid"
I said, "Did it hurt?"
She looked puzzled, so I continued. "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" She lifted her head slightly and whispered, "Please... call... an ambulance..."
That's when I looked up and realized she's actually fallen out of a window.
A note to the guy behind me driving to work this morning.
Dear guy behind me driving to work this morning,
Don't get mad at me for driving the speed limit. It's there to keep people safe!
And don't get mad at me for not getting out of your way. You don't own the road!
And don't ever flash your lights and honk your horn at others to make them move...geez. Such a rude ambulance driver!
A Jewish man gets hit by a car...
in the back of the ambulance on the way to the hospital the paramedic asks "are you comfortable?"
the Jewish man shrugs. "I make a living."
A guy calls 911
"Send an ambulance! My wife's having a baby!"
"Just calm down down", says the operator, "Is this her first baby?"
"No it's her husband you idiot!"
PS4/Xbox joke
Oh no! Playstation and xbox online services are down! Someone call an ambulance! Wii U Wii U Wii U
What do you call a man with a knife in his belly, an axe in his back and an arrow in his head?
An ambulance.
Did you know that Rosa Parks died because...
She refused to get in the back of an ambulance
The President of Nintendo Died...
The ambulance went WII U, WII U, WII U
What do you call a man with a spade in his head?
An ambulance
You can explore ambulance trauma reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ambulance siren dad jokes. There are also ambulance puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What noise does a Nintendo ambulance make?
Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u
Dad, quick, call me an ambulance!
"Okay, ambulance."
^^^^^^sorry
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app this morning...
...and it sent an ambulance to my house
Xbox one and PS4 got into a brutal fight, someone called an ambulance
Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U
Caller: Hello, 911, my friend collapsed, we need an ambulance. 911: What is your location?
Caller: Peotone St. at Charlevoix
911: Can you spell that?
Caller: Look, I'll drag him to 3rd and Oak - send the ambulance there.
An Xbox One got into a fight with a PS4
The ambulance came. Wii U Wii U Wii U.ļ»æ
What is the best vegetable delivery vehicle in the world?
An ambulance
Playstation and Xbox had a fight. Then came the ambulance
Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U
Xbox One and PS4 Get into a car crash...
And here comes the ambulance "WIIUWIIUWIIUWIIUWIIU"
I'm dying, call me an Ambulance.
Dad: Okay Dying, you're an ambulance.
"I'm dying call me an ambulance"
Best friend: "Ok dying, you're an ambulance"
Two guys are hunting in the woods
All of a sudden, one collapses. His friend calls 911 in a panic. "What do I do? My friend is dead!" "Just calm down," says the operator. "An ambulance is on the way. First, we need to make sure he is actually dead." There is silence for a moment. The operator hears a loud BANG!!!! The hunter returns to the phone. "Okay, now what?"
There's a giant hole in town and everybody is falling in it and going to the hospital
The mayor holds a meeting and asks everyone to propose a solution.
Someone stand up and says: "We should put a cop next to the hole and whenever someone falls he'll call an ambulance."
Another person offers to put an ambulance next to the hole.
Someone else offers to build a hospital next to the hole.
At this point everybody starts arguing so the mayor shuts everybody up and says: "You are all stupid. We should close up the hole and dig another one next to the hospital."
A man collapses in a busy street.
Someome from the crowd shouts "Somebody call him an ambulance!"
Suddenly, another voice calls out "You're an ambulance!"
Xbox One down! PS4 Down! Get an ambulance!
Wii U!
Wii U!
Wii U!
A man fighting a war finds an ancient lance capable of healing wounds rather than creating them.
He names the weapon "Ambu-lance"
I don't think my wife likes me very much
when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
It's crazy. One minute you're getting drunk as a skunk, then next thing you know, you're in the back of an ambulance.
I really shouldn't be a paramedic.
I told the ambulance guys the wrong blood type for my ex
Now she should understand what rejection feels like.
A PS4 fan and an Xbox One fan started fighting! Someone call the ambulance!
*Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii Uļ»æ*
Two men are out hunting when one of them suddenly drops dead
Two men are out hunting when one of them suddenly drops dead. He calls 911 immediately. The operator says "Can I help you sir?"
The man replies "I think my friend is dead! Get an ambulance! What should I do?"
The operator replies "Okay, calm down sir. First we have to make sure he is dead."
There is silence, then a gun shot, then the man comes back on "Okay, what now?"
I saw a man fall on the ground and his wife yelled, "Someone call him an ambulance!"
So I yelled back "Hey dude, you're an ambulance!" and left. Hope he's ok.
I pushed a random old guy's Life Alert to see what would happen.
He got so angry, he had a heart attack.
Good thing the ambulance was already on it's way.
Xbox attacked Playstation.
Here comes the ambulance! Wii U Wii U Wii U
My grandmother had a stroke last night.
"Call me an ambulance!" she screamed.
"You're an ambulance, Grandma" I said, and then I left. It felt good to help.
I love long road trips with music..
..Until the acid wear off and i realize i'm in an ambulance with the siren on.
There was an accident on the highway today.
I tried to help the victims, but there was so much blood that I felt sick and had to leave.
I'm sure they'll be okay until a different ambulance gets there.
what do you call 5 guys who fell down the stairs?
an ambulance
Jack calls an ambulance for his friend who has been hit by a car
The operator asks for his location.
Jack says I'm outside 28 Eucalyptus Road .
The operator knows there is no room for error and for clarity asks, "How do you spell that?"
There's shuffling and sounds of straining at the other end of the phone. Jack? says the operator, concerned. More shuffling and grunting.
Sorry about that says Jack. I just dragged him 'round to 1 Oak Street
An ambulance is like a Pizza delivery
If they're late the delivery ends up cold.
Apparently, Nintendo opened a hospital recently.
Oh, hey, I can hear their ambulance driving by now!
Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U...
What do you call a kid who finally stood up to the bullies?
An ambulance.
What do you call it when an ambulance hits a person?
Job security
What do you call a man with a knife in his back?
An ambulance
Dad: [grabs chest] Quick! Call me an ambulance.
Me: [hesitantly] You're... an ambulance.
Dad: I'm- I'm so proud of you, son [dies]
Husband : Please Call An Ambulance I Think Am Having A Heart Attack...
Wife : (Took His Mobile Phone) Quickly, Give Me The Password... Husband : Ooh I Think Am Fine Now...
What do you call a black guy with severed legs?
**AN AMBULANCE, CALL HIM AN AMBULANCE**
What do you call a black guy having a heart attack?
An ambulance.
Why is an Ambulance slow?
Because its a Patient Transport
What do you call a black man that's just been hit by a bus?
An ambulance you racist.
What do you call a guy who gets hit by a truck?
An ambulance
Today my son threw a quarter in the well at the mall and said "I wish my dad was dead." And because of his attitide we went home without buying anything.
When we got to our house we saw an ambulance and the coroner at Jim's house, apparently he had a freak heart attack about thirty minutes before hand, it was odd because he was a personal trainer and in great shape, my wife seemed real upset by his passing. Though it was strange because I've never even seen them speak to eachother.
What do you call when a black man gets hit by a bus?
The Ambulance.
What do you call an ambulance with loads of steroids in it?
Ambu-Lance Armstrong
A PS4 doesn't feel well. We need to call the ambulance.
Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U
My friend died because we didn't know his blood type.
He kept on saying be positive in the ambulance but it's hard without him.
What do you call a white supremacist at a BLM rally?
An ambulance.
What do you call someone who's been stabbed 3 times?
An ambulance
I told the ambulance men the wrong blood type for my ex
Now she'll know what rejection feels like...
I identify as an ambulance
My pronouns are wee/woo
Oh no! Someone got seriously injured at the Nintendo headquarters! Call an ambulance!
Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U...
An Aussie phones an ambulance because his mate's been just hit by a car
Aussie: Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and ears and I think both his legs are broken.
Operator: What is your location sir?
Aussie:On Eucalyptus Street.
Operator: How do you Spell that sir?
Silence..... (heavy breathing) and after a minute or so...
Operator: Are you there sir?
More heavy breathing and another minute later...
Operator: Sir, can you hear me?
This goes on for another few minutes until...
Operator:Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?
Aussie: Yes, sorry bout dat... I couldn't spell
eucalyptus, so I just dragged him around to Oak Street.
I am a man stuck in a womans body
It happened a few hours ago and neither of us want to call an ambulance
My grandfather told me this one
Doctor: "so tell me, how did you burn your ear?"
Patient: "I was ironing my clothes and the phone rang, and instead of picking up the phone I put the iron to my ear"
Doctor: "so how did your other ear burn?"
Patient: "well I had to call an ambulance didn't I?"
Two friends meet up, one of them has bandages over his ears
-Hey, man, what happened?
-Well, I was still sleepy when I was ironing my clothes in the morning, I heard my phone ringing and put the iron against my ear!
-Oh man, that's rough. Hold on, you burned your ear, but why is the other one also bandaged?
-I immediately called an ambulance!
The wife of Korean immigrant was bed ridden with a high fever.
She hadn't had consciousness for a while and she was a burning 40 degrees Celsius. Worried, the husband tries to call for an ambulance, using his broken English.
"911 emergency, how can we help you."
"Wife in bed. She so hot."
"Okay... good for you."
What do you call a Japanese man with a head wound?
An ambulance
Husband calls 911.
\- Please send an ambulance immediately. My wife is about to give birth.
\- Is THIS her first baby?
\- No, I am her husband.
What's the difference between a Tesla and an ambulance?
You can afford a ride in a Tesla.
A zookeeper calls an ambulance and says: "Help, a crocodile took my leg off!"
The EMT asks: "Oh my god, which one?"
"I don't know", the zookeeper says, " those bastards all look the same!"
Always pray in English...
Mr. Sharma, a Hindu suffered a heart attack. The paramedics arrived and put Mr. Sharma in the ambulance and raced towards the hospital. Realizing his time had come, Mr. Sharma started reciting the Hindu prayer, "Hari Om, Hari Om, Hari Om..."
10 minutes later the paramedics brought him back to his house. His wife was aghast and asked the paramedics why they brought him back home?
The paramedics replied, "as soon as we were on our way, he kept shouting hurry home, hurry home, hurry home, so we brought him back..."
A guy asked me to call him an ambulance.
So I said "OK, you're an ambulance."
What's the difference between a bra and a ambulance
An ambulance takes care of the wounded while the bra takes care of the fallen
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs lying on your doorstep?
An ambulance.
What's an ambulance driver's favorite gaming system?
Wii U.
Scottish engineers have developed a new technique using microwaves for sterilising ambulances. They predict it will take the time to clean one down to under ten minutes.
The problem is getting the ambulance in without breaking the glass plate at the bottom
Walking with my dad he suddenly collapsed gasping for air.
Dad: Son.... call.... me.... an... ambulance..
Me: Ok, an ambulance.. Im son
An ambulance was called to a local restaurant this afternoon.
When the paramedics walked in, the saw two men on the floor having seizures. The paramedics split up, each going to one of the men. Suddenly, both men stopped their convulsing. The paramedics asked if they were all right.
"Oh, we're fine. We both have epilepsy, but we don't let it interfere with our work. This always happens when we finalize a job."
"What do you mean."
"I'm a salesman for my company, he's the buyer for his. We just completed the deal, so we had to shake on it..."
What do an ambulance and a yoga class have in common?
They both contain stretchers.
What do you call a boy that finally stood up to his bullies?
An Ambulance
What do you call a guy with a knife sticking out of him?
An ambulance
My dad asked me to call him an ambulance
So I said You're an ambulance. . It was weird but at least he died with a smile on his face.
911, whats your emergency?
Operator:
Man: A guy just got hit by a car, i need an ambulance.
Operator: What's your location?
Man: I'm on eucalyptus street.
Operator: Can you spell that out for me?
Man: (long awkward pause)
Operator: Sir? Are you there?
Man: I'm gonna drag him over to pine street and call right back.
Why are there always two medics in an ambulance
They're not called pair a medics for no reason
What do you call two guys in an ambulance?
paramedics
a joke translated from turkish
Once upon a time there was a pit in a village, people used to wound themselves from falling into the pit. 3 elders of the village unite to a find a solution to this pit.
First one says that we should place an ambulance next to the pit, that way people will get to the hospital faster
Second one says that we should build a hospital next to the pit that way it will be even faster
Before the third one could talk Chad jumps in and says "y'all are idiots why don't we fill this pit up and dig one up next to the hospital.
How do you revive a homeless American from a heart attack?
You threaten to call an ambulance.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app.
It just sent an ambulance to my house.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the ambulance frantically jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working ambulance nurse piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.