Ambulance Jokes

Following is our collection of wiiu humor and dido one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Ambulance puns for adults, dirty firetruck jokes or clean dials gags for kids.

There is an abundance of frantic jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 89 funniest jokes on ambulance. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any stretcher witze you can hear about ambulance.

The Best jokes about Ambulance

Today my son threw a quarter in the well at the mall and said "I wish my dad was dead." And because of his attitide we went home without buying anything.

When we got to our house we saw an ambulance and the coroner at Jim's house, apparently he had a freak heart attack about thirty minutes before hand, it was odd because he was a personal trainer and in great shape, my wife seemed real upset by his passing. Though it was strange because I've never even seen them speak to eachother.

Jack calls an ambulance for his friend who has been hit by a car

The operator asks for his location.

Jack says I'm outside 28 Eucalyptus Road .

The operator knows there is no room for error and for clarity asks, "How do you spell that?"

There's shuffling and sounds of straining at the other end of the phone. Jack? says the operator, concerned. More shuffling and grunting.

Sorry about that says Jack. I just dragged him 'round to 1 Oak Street

What do you call a black man that's just been hit by a bus?

An ambulance you racist.

Ambulance joke, What do you call a black man that's just been hit by a bus?

I told the ambulance guys the wrong blood type for my ex

Now she should understand what rejection feels like.

PS4/Xbox joke

Oh no! Playstation and xbox online services are down! Someone call an ambulance! Wii U Wii U Wii U


What do you call a kid who finally stood up to the bullies?

An ambulance.

Dad: [grabs chest] Quick! Call me an ambulance.

Me: [hesitantly] You're... an ambulance.
Dad: I'm- I'm so proud of you, son [dies]

Ambulance joke, Dad: [grabs chest] Quick! Call me an ambulance.

Xbox One down! PS4 Down! Get an ambulance!

Wii U!
Wii U!
Wii U!

What do you call a black guy with severed legs?

**AN AMBULANCE, CALL HIM AN AMBULANCE**

Two men are out hunting when one of them suddenly drops dead

Two men are out hunting when one of them suddenly drops dead. He calls 911 immediately. The operator says "Can I help you sir?"

The man replies "I think my friend is dead! Get an ambulance! What should I do?"

The operator replies "Okay, calm down sir. First we have to make sure he is dead."

There is silence, then a gun shot, then the man comes back on "Okay, what now?"

A man collapses in a busy street.

Someome from the crowd shouts "Somebody call him an ambulance!"

Suddenly, another voice calls out "You're an ambulance!"


An Xbox One got into a fight with a PS4

The ambulance came. Wii U Wii U Wii U.ļ»æ

Oh no! Someone got seriously injured at the Nintendo headquarters! Call an ambulance!

Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U...

I told the ambulance men the wrong blood type for my ex

Now she'll know what rejection feels like...

I said, "Did it hurt?"

She looked puzzled, so I continued. "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" She lifted her head slightly and whispered, "Please... call... an ambulance..."

That's when I looked up and realized she's actually fallen out of a window.

An ambulance is like a Pizza delivery

If they're late the delivery ends up cold.

Ambulance joke, An ambulance is like a Pizza delivery

An Aussie phones an ambulance because his mate's been just hit by a car

Aussie: Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and ears and I think both his legs are broken.

Operator: What is your location sir?

Aussie:On Eucalyptus Street.

Operator: How do you Spell that sir?

Silence..... (heavy breathing) and after a minute or so...

Operator: Are you there sir?

More heavy breathing and another minute later...

Operator: Sir, can you hear me?

This goes on for another few minutes until...

Operator:Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?

Aussie: Yes, sorry bout dat... I couldn't spell
eucalyptus, so I just dragged him around to Oak Street.

There's a giant hole in town and everybody is falling in it and going to the hospital

The mayor holds a meeting and asks everyone to propose a solution.

Someone stand up and says: "We should put a cop next to the hole and whenever someone falls he'll call an ambulance."

Another person offers to put an ambulance next to the hole.

Someone else offers to build a hospital next to the hole.

At this point everybody starts arguing so the mayor shuts everybody up and says: "You are all stupid. We should close up the hole and dig another one next to the hospital."

A Jewish man gets hit by a car...

in the back of the ambulance on the way to the hospital the paramedic asks "are you comfortable?"

the Jewish man shrugs. "I make a living."


What do you call it when an ambulance hits a person?

Job security

A PS4 fan and an Xbox One fan started fighting! Someone call the ambulance!

*Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii Uļ»æ*

A man comes home from work...

...and walks upstairs to find his wife flushed, naked and panting on his bed. Bewildered he asks "What's going on?!"

"I think... I'm having... a heartattack!" she replies. In a panic the man runs downstairs to call an ambulance.

When he put down the phone is son is right next to him. "Dad, I think I saw uncle Gary naked in the closet."

So he marches upstairs into his bedroom and opens his wardrobe. Sure enough his brother Gary is in there.

He lets out a disappointed sigh.

"You're a right piece of work you are...

The wife's having a heart attack and you're running round naked scaring the kids!"

What do you call a black guy having a heart attack?

An ambulance.

My grandfather told me this one

Doctor: "so tell me, how did you burn your ear?"


Patient: "I was ironing my clothes and the phone rang, and instead of picking up the phone I put the iron to my ear"


Doctor: "so how did your other ear burn?"


Patient: "well I had to call an ambulance didn't I?"

I identify as an ambulance

My pronouns are wee/woo

Paddy phones an ambulance because his mate's been hit by a car.

Paddy phones an ambulance because his mate's been hit by a car.
Paddy: 'Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and
Ears and I tink both his legs are broken.'
Operator: 'What is your location sir?'
Paddy: 'Outside number 28 Eucalyptus Street ....'
Operator: 'How do you spell that sir?'
Silence.... (heavy breathing) and after a minute.
Operator: 'Are you there sir?'
More heavy breathing and another minute later.
Operator: 'Sir, can you hear me?'
This goes on for another few minutes until....
Operator: 'Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?'
Paddy: 'Yes, sorry bout dat... I couldn't spell eucalyptus, so I just
dragged him round to number 3 Oak Street .'

A guy calls 911

"Send an ambulance! My wife's having a baby!"

"Just calm down down", says the operator, "Is this her first baby?"

"No it's her husband you idiot!"

I pushed a random old guy's Life Alert to see what would happen.

He got so angry, he had a heart attack.
Good thing the ambulance was already on it's way.

Two men are hunting in the woods.

One of them sees a deer and fires, but accidentally shoots his friend in the back. When he realizes what happened, he immediately calls 911.

"Hello, what is your emergency?"

"I think I just killed my friend while hunting!"

"Ok, we'll send an ambulance immediately. But don't say things like that unless you're certain. Can you make sure he's dead?"
The emergency operator hears him walk a few steps then, *bang!*

"Ok, now I'm sure."

A man was hired to ring a church bell...

...but he wasn't very good at it. Every time he rung the bell it came back and smacked him in the face. He kept trying to duck under the bell but it kept hitting him.

Eventually, at the end of his shift he rang the bell one last time. Again, the bell hit him in his aching face, but this time he stumbled back and fell off the church tower, landing on the ground below.

An ambulance quickly arrived on the scene, one of the medics looked at the poor man's face. "Hmm...he looks familiar." said the medic. "How can you say that? His face is unrecognisable!" said the other medic. "I'm sure I recognise him! His face definitely rings a bell!"

Xbox One and PS4 Get into a car crash...

And here comes the ambulance "WIIUWIIUWIIUWIIUWIIU"

Xbox attacked Playstation.

Here comes the ambulance! Wii U Wii U Wii U

It's crazy. One minute you're getting drunk as a skunk, then next thing you know, you're in the back of an ambulance.

I really shouldn't be a paramedic.

Xbox one and PS4 got into a brutal fight, someone called an ambulance

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U

There was an accident on the highway today.

I tried to help the victims, but there was so much blood that I felt sick and had to leave.
I'm sure they'll be okay until a different ambulance gets there.

One day, two carrots were walking down the street...

They were the best of friends.

Just as they started to step off the curb, a car came speeding around the corner and ran one of them over.

The unhurt carrot called an ambulance and helped his friend as best he could.

He was rushed away and taken to the emergecy room at the hospital.

After many hours of agonized waiting, the doctor came out.

He slowly walked over to the distraught carrot and said "I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through."

"The bad news is that for the rest of his life, he's going to be a vegetable."

I saw a man fall on the ground and his wife yelled, "Someone call him an ambulance!"

So I yelled back "Hey dude, you're an ambulance!" and left. Hope he's ok.

Ambulance game

a boy said to a girl "lets play the ambulance game" girl asked "how do u play that?"
the boy said "i run my fingers up your legs and you say red light when you want me to stop"
girl "OK"
after sometime girl screams
red light
red light
ahh ahh red light
boy "ambulance doesn't stop at red light stupid"

A Jewish man is walking down the sidewalk. As he goes to cross the street he is hit by a car and hurled through the air causing him to hit his head. A beautiful woman sees this and takes off her coat as she runs over to the man. She lifts his head and places the jacket under his head.

She tells the man not to move and that she is going to call for an ambulance.

But before she gets up to get her phone out and call she asks the man, Are you comfortable?

To which the man replies, Eh, I make a living.

What do you call a man with a knife in his back?

An ambulance

Three Aussie guys...

Three Aussie guys, Gazza, Bazza and Wozza, were working on a high-rise building in Woolloomooloo. Unfortunately, Gazza falls off the scaffolding and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Bazza says, 'Someone should go and tell his wife.'
Wozza says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.'

Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Beer.
Bazza says, 'Where did you get that, Wozza?'
'Gazza's wife gave it to me.'

Bazza continues, 'That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?'

'Well not exactly,' Wozza said. 'When she answered the door, I said to her, "You must be Gazza's widow".'
She said, 'No, I'm not a widow.'

And I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Beer you are.'

I don't think my wife likes me very much

when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.

The wife of Korean immigrant was bed ridden with a high fever.

She hadn't had consciousness for a while and she was a burning 40 degrees Celsius. Worried, the husband tries to call for an ambulance, using his broken English.

"911 emergency, how can we help you."

"Wife in bed. She so hot."

"Okay... good for you."

Two friends meet up, one of them has bandages over his ears

-Hey, man, what happened?

-Well, I was still sleepy when I was ironing my clothes in the morning, I heard my phone ringing and put the iron against my ear!

-Oh man, that's rough. Hold on, you burned your ear, but why is the other one also bandaged?

-I immediately called an ambulance!

Playstation and Xbox had a fight. Then came the ambulance

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U

Husband : Please Call An Ambulance I Think Am Having A Heart Attack...

Wife : (Took His Mobile Phone) Quickly, Give Me The Password... Husband : Ooh I Think Am Fine Now...

So I went to see the Dr. he asks: And what seems to be the problem?"

A little embarrassed, I replied Well I seem to have a small lettuce leaf growing out of my back passage Dr!"

At which point he instructed me to drop my trousers while he had a quick look.

Mmmm . . . I'm afraid I'm going to have to call an ambulance and have you rushed into hospital for an emergency operation to have it removed! he declared

What, just for that small lettuce leaf? came my rather worried response

Oh yes! said the Dr. What we have there is only the tip of the iceberg!

Caller: Hello, 911, my friend collapsed, we need an ambulance. 911: What is your location?

Caller: Peotone St. at Charlevoix

911: Can you spell that?

Caller: Look, I'll drag him to 3rd and Oak - send the ambulance there.

Three blokes were working on a high rise building project...

Macca, Chook and Simmo. Chook falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Simmo says, "someone should go and tell his wife."

Macca says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, so I'll do it."

Two hours later, Macca comes back carrying a case of beer. Simmo says, "where did you get that, Macca?"

"Chook's missus gave it to me". Simmo says, "that's unbelievable - you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"

Macca says, "well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her, you must be Chook's widow. She said, no, I'm not a widow."

And I said, "you wanna bet me a case?"

One day while scaffolding...

Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high scaffolding one day when suddenly, Steve falls off and is killed instantly. After the ambulance leaves with Steve's body, Bob and Jeff realize that one of them is going to have to tell Steve's wife.

Bob says he's good at this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do the job.
After two hours he returns, carrying a six-pack of beer.

"So did you tell her?" asks Jeff.
"Yep", replied Bob.
"Say, where did you get the six-pack?"
Bob informs Jeff: "She gave it to me!"
"What??" exclaims Jeff, "you just told her her husband died and she gave you a six-pack??"
"Sure," Bob says.
"Why?" asks Jeff.

"Well," Bob continues, "when she answered the door, I asked her, 'are you Steve's widow?' 'Widow?', she said, 'no, no, you're mistaken, I'm not a widow!'

So I said: "I'll bet you a six-pack you ARE!'"

what do you call 5 guys who fell down the stairs?

an ambulance

Apparently, Nintendo opened a hospital recently.

Oh, hey, I can hear their ambulance driving by now!

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U...

What do you call a guy who gets hit by a truck?

An ambulance

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app this morning...

...and it sent an ambulance to my house

Did you know that Rosa Parks died because...

She refused to get in the back of an ambulance

A man fighting a war finds an ancient lance capable of healing wounds rather than creating them.

He names the weapon "Ambu-lance"

I'm dying, call me an Ambulance.

Dad: Okay Dying, you're an ambulance.

What is the best vegetable delivery vehicle in the world?

An ambulance

What do you call a man with a knife in his belly, an axe in his back and an arrow in his head?

An ambulance.

What do you call a man with a spade in his head?

An ambulance

What noise does a Nintendo ambulance make?

Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u

What do you call someone who's been stabbed 3 times?

An ambulance

A note to the guy behind me driving to work this morning.

Dear guy behind me driving to work this morning,

Don't get mad at me for driving the speed limit. It's there to keep people safe!

And don't get mad at me for not getting out of your way. You don't own the road!

And don't ever flash your lights and honk your horn at others to make them move...geez. Such a rude ambulance driver!

The President of Nintendo Died...

The ambulance went WII U, WII U, WII U

Why is an Ambulance slow?

Because its a Patient Transport

I love long road trips with music..

..Until the acid wear off and i realize i'm in an ambulance with the siren on.

A PS4 doesn't feel well. We need to call the ambulance.

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U

What do you call when a black man gets hit by a bus?

The Ambulance.

Dad, quick, call me an ambulance!

"Okay, ambulance."




^^^^^^sorry

What do you call a white supremacist at a BLM rally?

An ambulance.

I am a man stuck in a womans body

It happened a few hours ago and neither of us want to call an ambulance

My friend died because we didn't know his blood type.

He kept on saying be positive in the ambulance but it's hard without him.

What do you call an ambulance with loads of steroids in it?

Ambu-Lance Armstrong

I was following an ambulance today

Going down the road with the lights on and siren blaring. We were on a highway with a high speed limit so I could keep up without being too close.

The ambulance goes around the curve ahead of us and the back door flings open. A cooler rolls out and lands on the side of the road.

I figured they would have saw it but I pulled over where it landed anyway. I got out and picked the cooler up. A little dented but still closed and intact.

I opened the cooler and found it was full of ice, and what appeared to be someone's severed toe. "Surely they noticed the door open and will come back shortly" I thought.

I waited for an hour and no sign of them so I decided to just give up waiting and call a tow truck.

My grandmother had a stroke last night.

"Call me an ambulance!" she screamed.

"You're an ambulance, Grandma" I said, and then I left. It felt good to help.

Steve, Bruce and Jed are working on a telephone tower, when Steve falls off and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."


Jed says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."


Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer.


Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Jed?"


"Steve's wife gave it to me," Jed replies.


"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"


Well, not exactly", Jed says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow'."


She said, "No, I'm not a widow!"


And I said, "I'll bet you a case of beer you are.

What do you call a guy who jumps off the 3rd floor balcony into the pool and misses?

An ambulance

Two guys are hunting in the woods

All of a sudden, one collapses. His friend calls 911 in a panic. "What do I do? My friend is dead!" "Just calm down," says the operator. "An ambulance is on the way. First, we need to make sure he is actually dead." There is silence for a moment. The operator hears a loud BANG!!!! The hunter returns to the phone. "Okay, now what?"

"I'm dying call me an ambulance"

Best friend: "Ok dying, you're an ambulance"

One fine day, in the middle of the night...

*This is a humours verse I've known since I was a kid. I don't know where it came from, and my googling has failed me. If anyone else knows the origin, that would be great!*

One fine day, in the middle of the night,

Two dead men, got up to fight,

One lame man, rang up to call an ambulance,

The ambulance came, with two dead horses pulling it,

They ran over a dead cat, and nearly killed it,

Now the cat's in hospital, with nothing wrong with it.

Admission is free, pay at the door,

We'll give you the best seat, so sit on the floor.

Husband: Call ambulance, Fast!

Husband: Call ambulance, Fast!
I am Having a Heart Attack...

Wife: ( Took his mobile): "Quick!! Tell me the Password!!"

Husband: It's Okay, I am feeling better now!! :D :D

What do you call a guy who has broken all his arms and legs?

An Ambulance

What do you call a woman drowning in money?

Rich...

Also an ambulance.

The worst joke on the planet.

I bought a playstation 4.

The Xbox 1 X broke it.

SO I called the ambulance

The sound it made was

***WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U***

the ambulance and the toe

Last night I was coming home from work in the city, driving country roads to get home.

I looked in my rear view mirror and saw an ambulance with its lights on. I pulled over and as the ambulance passed by, I noticed the back door open up a little. The ambulance hit a small bump and out fell an ice chest.

I quickly pulled off the road and rushed over to the ice chest and opened it up. Inside was a human toe in the ice. I knew I wouldn't be able to catch the ambulance so I got in my car and rushed to the nearest gas station to call 911 (my cell phone was dead). They told me they'd send a car right away but all of their police cars were in use and told me just to wait 20 minutes.

So I waited 20 minutes for the tow truck to show up.

What was the ambulance saying when they were carrying Satoru Iwata?

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U

Why do ambulances require two drivers at all times?

Because they're a pair o' medics.

What do you call a black guy who was stabbed by a Mexican?

An ambulance.

What happens when the PS and XBOX servers go down?

The ambulance comes lights and sirens, "WII-U WII-U WII-U"
I'm sorry, I'll leave now ._.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes