Ambulance Jokes
142 ambulance jokes and hilarious ambulance puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ambulance that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
If you're looking for a laugh, check out our collection of ambulance jokes. From puns to one-liners, we've got jokes to make you smile.
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Funniest Ambulance Short Jokes
Short ambulance jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ambulance humour may include short paramedics jokes also.
- PS4/Xbox joke Oh no! Playstation and xbox online services are down! Someone call an ambulance! Wii U Wii U Wii U
- Dad: [grabs chest] Quick! Call me an ambulance. Me: [hesitantly] You're... an ambulance.
Dad: I'm- I'm so proud of you, son [dies] - Why are there always two medics in an ambulance They're not called pair a medics for no reason
- A man collapses in a busy street. Someome from the crowd shouts "Somebody call him an ambulance!"
Suddenly, another voice calls out "You're an ambulance!" - Oh no! Someone got seriously injured at the Nintendo headquarters! Call an ambulance! Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U...
- I pushed a random old guy's Life Alert to see what would happen. He got so angry, he had a heart attack.
Good thing the ambulance was already on it's way. - As a paramedic, I've learned that there is something you can never say with a straight face: I'm having a s**....
- How do you revive a homeless American from a heart attack? You threaten to call an ambulance.
- I saw a man fall on the ground and his wife yelled, "Someone call him an ambulance!" So I yelled back "Hey dude, you're an ambulance!" and left. Hope he's ok.
- Did you know that rosa Parks died because... She refused to get in the back of an ambulance
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Ambulance One Liners
Which ambulance one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ambulance? I can suggest the ones about emergency services and firetruck.
- What do you call a kid who finally stood up to the bullies? An ambulance.
- An Xbox One got into a fight with a PS4 The ambulance came. Wii U Wii U Wii U.
- An ambulance is like a Pizza delivery If they're late the delivery ends up cold.
- What do you call a guy with a knife sticking out of him? An ambulance
- What do you call it when an ambulance hits a person? Job security
- I identify as an ambulance My pronouns are wee/woo
- What do you call a black guy having a heart attack? An ambulance.
- What's an ambulance driver's favorite gaming system? Wii U.
- What's the difference between a Tesla and an ambulance? You can afford a ride in a Tesla.
- A guy asked me to call him an ambulance. So I said "OK, you're an ambulance."
- What do you call a Japanese man with a head wound? An ambulance
- what do you call 5 guys who fell down the stairs? an ambulance
- What do you call two guys in an ambulance? paramedics
- What do you call a guy who gets hit by a truck? An ambulance
- What do you call a white supremacist at a BLM rally? An ambulance.
Ambulance Driver Jokes
Here is a list of funny ambulance driver jokes and even better ambulance driver puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the Scottish ambulance driver say when his mother died? Me maw! Me maw! Me maw!
- Why was the Lego ambulance driver so bad at his job? Because he didn't want to step on it.
Entertaining Ambulance Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about ambulance you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean limo jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ambulance pranks.
A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai Hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. She saw God and asked, “Is this it?”
God said, “No, you have another 30 to 40 years to live.”
Upon her recovery, she decided to stay in the hospital and have collagen shots, cheek implants, a face lift, liposuction, and breast augmentation. She even had someone dye her hair. She figured since she had another 30 to 40 years, she might as well make the most of it.
She walked out of Cedars Sinai lobby after the last operation, and was killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrived in front of God and said, “I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?”
God replied, “Shirley! I’m sorry but I didn’t recognize you!”
One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor:
- Help me, please. I have a knife in my back.
The doctor, looking his watch says:
- Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you.
Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8.
- But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now.
The doctor, angrily says:
- I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you.
You must pass here tomorrow.
- But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead.
Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back.
The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye.
- Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital.
After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead.
The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it.
"Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!" the former blonde asked.
Q: Why is it that so many lawyers have broken noses?
A: From chasing parked ambulances.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two men are hunting in the woods.
One of them sees a deer and fires, but accidentally shoots his friend in the back. When he realizes what happened, he immediately calls 911.
"Hello, what is your emergency?"
"I think I just killed my friend while hunting!"
"Ok, we'll send an ambulance immediately. But don't say things like that unless you're certain. Can you make sure he's dead?"
The emergency operator hears him walk a few steps then, *bang!*
"Ok, now I'm sure."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
p**... and Murphy walking down the street, p**... falls over, p**... says 'Murphy, call me an ambulance' Murphy says..
PAAAADDY IS AN AMBULANCE!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ambulance game
a boy said to a girl "lets play the ambulance game" girl asked "how do u play that?"
the boy said "i run my fingers up your legs and you say red light when you want me to stop"
girl "OK"
after sometime girl screams
red light
red light
ahh ahh red light
boy "ambulance doesn't stop at red light s**..."
I said, "Did it hurt?"
She looked puzzled, so I continued. "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" She lifted her head slightly and whispered, "Please... call... an ambulance..."
That's when I looked up and realized she's actually fallen out of a window.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A note to the guy behind me driving to work this morning.
Dear guy behind me driving to work this morning,
Don't get mad at me for driving the speed limit. It's there to keep people safe!
And don't get mad at me for not getting out of your way. You don't own the road!
And don't ever flash your lights and honk your horn at others to make them move...geez. Such a rude ambulance driver!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Gorilla Encounter
Two gay guys are at the Zoo. They come across a gorilla and notice that the male gorilla has a massive e**.... The gay men are fascinated by this.
One of the men just can't bear it any longer, and he reaches into the cage to touch it. The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for two hours non-stop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by. When he's done, the gorilla throws the man out of the cage.
An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital.
A few days later, his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, "Are you hurt?"
"AM I HURT?" he shouts. "Wouldn't you be? He hasn't called! He hasn't written!"
Ma'am, we're going to need you to push HARD
And when the ambulance is started, we'll get you to the nearest ER.
A blonde goes to the doctor with burns on both of her ears and her right hand...
A blonde goes to the doctor with burns on both of her ears and her right hand. "Sit down and tell me how it happened," says the doctor.
"I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear."
"'What about the other ear and your hand?" the doctor asked.
She replied, "I tried to call for an ambulance."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy calls 911
"Send an ambulance! My wife's having a baby!"
"Just calm down down", says the operator, "Is this her first baby?"
"No it's her husband you idiot!"
How did the lawyer chip his tooth?
The ambulance slammed on its brakes.
You have just fallen down from the Moon.
You dust yourself and start hugging everyone, in tears.
The journey has made you thirsty and you take a bottle of Coca-Cola.
The ambulance arrives and they bring you to the psychiatric clinic.
Were you really on the Moon?
What vehicle do bicycle riders take to the hospital?
An Ambulance Armstrong
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a man with a knife in his belly, an axe in his back and an arrow in his head?
An ambulance.
Why did the ambulance show up to a tennis match between number 8 and Number 9?
The umpire called it: nine won one.
A patient enters the doctor's office...
Doctor: "What is it that's brought you here?"
Patient: "An ambulance. Why?"
What do you call a woman drowning in money?
Rich...
Also an ambulance.
The President of Nintendo Died...
The ambulance went WII U, WII U, WII U
What was the ambulance saying when they were carrying Satoru Iwata?
Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm writing a poem about the first time I m**....
Can someone think of something that rhymes with, "I was taken away by an ambulance"?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a man with a s**... in his head?
An ambulance
Dad, quick, call me an ambulance!
"Okay, ambulance."
^^^^^^sorry
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app this morning...
...and it sent an ambulance to my house
THE XBOX IS BEING ATTACKED!
THE XBOX IS BEING ATTACKED!
Here Comes The Ambulance Wii U Wii U Wii U
Caller: Hello, 911, my friend collapsed, we need an ambulance. 911: What is your location?
Caller: Peotone St. at Charlevoix
911: Can you spell that?
Caller: Look, I'll drag him to 3rd and Oak - send the ambulance there.
What happens when the PS and XBOX servers go down?
The ambulance comes lights and sirens, "WII-U WII-U WII-U"
I'm sorry, I'll leave now ._.
What is the best vegetable delivery vehicle in the world?
An ambulance
You should have seen the guys face when i told him i couldnt get an ambulance.
It was blue.
I'm dying, call me an Ambulance.
Dad: Okay Dying, you're an ambulance.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's a giant hole in town and everybody is falling in it and going to the hospital
The mayor holds a meeting and asks everyone to propose a solution.
Someone stand up and says: "We should put a cop next to the hole and whenever someone falls he'll call an ambulance."
Another person offers to put an ambulance next to the hole.
Someone else offers to build a hospital next to the hole.
At this point everybody starts arguing so the mayor shuts everybody up and says: "You are all s**.... We should close up the hole and dig another one next to the hospital."
Tom Cruise was carrying amphetamine when he was mugged.
When the ambulance arrived the paramedic examined Tom Cruise and determined he was winded by a swift knee to the solar plexus.
The police officer wrote in his file: "The victim, Tom Cruise, got kneed for speed."
A woman heard that her blonde friend was in the hospital
She went to visit her, and found her propped up in bed with bandages over both her ears.
"What in the world happened to you?" she asked.
"It was the craziest thing," said the blonde. "I was ironing clothes when the phone rang. Without thinking I held the iron up to my ear and said 'hello?'"
"But what happened to your other ear?"
"I had to call the ambulance, didn't I?"
A man fighting a war finds an ancient lance capable of healing wounds rather than creating them.
He names the weapon "Ambu-lance"
I don't think my wife likes me very much
when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
What do you call a journalist in Russia?
An ambulance.
Ambulance crews are great at quizzes
They're first responders
I saw a woman suffering cardiac arrest earlier...
She asked for me to call her an ambulance.
I did, but I think she should've asked for help instead.
Husband: Call ambulance, Fast!
Husband: Call ambulance, Fast!
I am Having a Heart Attack...
Wife: ( Took his mobile): "Quick!! Tell me the Password!!"
Husband: It's Okay, I am feeling better now!! :D :D
Ambulances in the ghettos are like
Ubers
A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night
and said, " I think there's a burglar downstairs and he's eating the cake that my mother made for us. "
" Who do you want me to call? " said the husband
" The police or an ambulance? "
Xbox one:Help I am on fire. I need an ambulance
Ps4: Wait I am calling one.
Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U
No Reason, No One and Crazy
3 boys are climbing in a tree.
They are called: No Reason, No One amd Crazy.
Then No One falls out of a tree.
No Reason screams to Crazy: "Call an ambulance!"
And Crazy calls: "Hello, I am crazy. I call for no reason, because no one fell out of a tree"
A sick guy is in an ambulance.
He notices that the driver drives right past the hospital and says: Hey, where are you taking me?
The driver says: To the morgue.
The sick guy goes: The morgue? But I'm not dead yet.
Driver goes: We're not at the morgue yet.
Sports Day
It's sports day at a school for "special" kids. During the egg and spoon race, little Johnny falls and hurts himself badly.
One of the teachers freaks out and yells "call Johnny an ambulance, call Johnny an ambulance!"
All the kids immediately start pointing at Johnny and laughing saying "Johnny is an ambulance- Johnny is an ambulance!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I found my friend trying to commit s**... in the basement
I told him to hang in there while I call an ambulance
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My grandmother had a s**... last night.
"Call me an ambulance!" she screamed.
"You're an ambulance, Grandma" I said, and then I left. It felt good to help.
A PS4 and XBOX One had the flu...
And here comes the ambulance:
WII U WIIU WIIU WII U.
I love long road trips with music..
..Until the acid wear off and i realize i'm in an ambulance with the siren on.
There was an accident on the highway today.
I tried to help the victims, but there was so much blood that I felt sick and had to leave.
I'm sure they'll be okay until a different ambulance gets there.
What do you call an ambulance which is one hour late?
A heartache.
Just the other day, I stopped at the gas station where I always stop after work. There were police cars, ambulances, fire trucks, etc everywhere.
Jack calls an ambulance for his friend who has been hit by a car
The operator asks for his location.
Jack says I'm outside 28 Eucalyptus Road .
The operator knows there is no room for error and for clarity asks, "How do you spell that?"
There's shuffling and sounds of straining at the other end of the phone. Jack? says the operator, concerned. More shuffling and grunting.
Sorry about that says Jack. I just dragged him 'round to 1 Oak Street
Apparently, Nintendo opened a hospital recently.
Oh, hey, I can hear their ambulance driving by now!
Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U...
What do you call a guy who has broken all his arms and legs?
An Ambulance
A child overhears their parents saying his game would cost an arm and a leg! The child really wants that new game, he would do anything for it
*Ambulance siren sounds in the background*
You know it's love when your girlfriend doesn't overreact to one of your farts.
Either that or you need to call an ambulance.
Husband : Please Call An Ambulance I Think Am Having A Heart Attack...
Wife : (Took His Mobile Phone) Quickly, Give Me The Password... Husband : Ooh I Think Am Fine Now...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a black guy with severed legs?
**AN AMBULANCE, CALL HIM AN AMBULANCE**
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In a knife fight, the loser dies in the street.
But the winner dies in the ambulance
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Timmy's parents were awoken by the sound of their 13 year old child screaming
They rushed into his room to see his hands and c**... covered in blood, they quickly ring an ambulance and ask Timmy what had happened, Timmy told them I was playing with 'Henry' and he spat at me, so I bit him
Lady: Am I going to be alright?
Doctor: Don't worry, it's just a scratch on your leg
Lady: Let me see
Doctor: Your leg is in the other ambulance
Why is an Ambulance slow?
Because its a Patient Transport
Today my son threw a quarter in the well at the mall and said "I wish my dad was dead." And because of his attitide we went home without buying anything.
When we got to our house we saw an ambulance and the coroner at Jim's house, apparently he had a freak heart attack about thirty minutes before hand, it was odd because he was a personal trainer and in great shape, my wife seemed real upset by his passing. Though it was strange because I've never even seen them speak to eachother.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call when a black man gets hit by a bus?
The Ambulance.
