Ambulance Jokes
143 ambulance jokes and hilarious ambulance puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ambulance that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
If you're looking for a laugh, check out our collection of ambulance jokes. From puns to one-liners, we've got jokes to make you smile.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Ambulance Short Jokes
Short ambulance jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ambulance humour may include short paramedics jokes also.
- I told the ambulance guys the wrong blood type for my ex Now she should understand what rejection feels like.
- PS4/Xbox joke Oh no! Playstation and xbox online services are down! Someone call an ambulance! Wii U Wii U Wii U
- Dad: [grabs chest] Quick! Call me an ambulance. Me: [hesitantly] You're... an ambulance.
Dad: I'm- I'm so proud of you, son [dies] - Why are there always two medics in an ambulance They're not called pair a medics for no reason
- A man collapses in a busy street. Someome from the crowd shouts "Somebody call him an ambulance!"
Suddenly, another voice calls out "You're an ambulance!" - Oh no! Someone got seriously injured at the Nintendo headquarters! Call an ambulance! Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U...
- I told the ambulance men the wrong blood type for my ex Now she'll know what rejection feels like...
- As a paramedic, I've learned that there is something you can never say with a straight face: I'm having a s**....
- A PS4 fan and an Xbox One fan started fighting! Someone call the ambulance! *Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U*
- A guy calls 911 "Send an ambulance! My wife's having a baby!"
"Just calm down down", says the operator, "Is this her first baby?"
"No it's her husband you idiot!"
Share These Ambulance Jokes With Friends
Ambulance One Liners
Which ambulance one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ambulance? I can suggest the ones about emergency services and firetruck.
- What do you call a black man that's just been hit by a bus? An ambulance you racist.
- What do you call a kid who finally stood up to the bullies? An ambulance.
- Xbox One down! PS4 Down! Get an ambulance! Wii U!
Wii U!
Wii U! - An Xbox One got into a fight with a PS4 The ambulance came. Wii U Wii U Wii U.
- An ambulance is like a Pizza delivery If they're late the delivery ends up cold.
- What do you call a guy with a knife sticking out of him? An ambulance
- What do you call it when an ambulance hits a person? Job security
- I identify as an ambulance My pronouns are wee/woo
- What do you call a black guy having a heart attack? An ambulance.
- What's an ambulance driver's favorite gaming system? Wii U.
- What's the difference between a Tesla and an ambulance? You can afford a ride in a Tesla.
- A guy asked me to call him an ambulance. So I said "OK, you're an ambulance."
- Xbox attacked Playstation. Here comes the ambulance! Wii U Wii U Wii U
- What do you call a Japanese man with a head wound? An ambulance
- What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance
Ambulance Driver Jokes
Here is a list of funny ambulance driver jokes and even better ambulance driver puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do ambulances require two drivers at all times? Because they're a pair o' medics.
- What did the Scottish ambulance driver say when his mother died? Me maw! Me maw! Me maw!
- Why was the Lego ambulance driver so bad at his job? Because he didn't want to step on it.
Entertaining Ambulance Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about ambulance you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean helicopter jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ambulance pranks.
Q: Why is it that so many lawyers have broken noses?
A: From chasing parked ambulances.
Two men are hunting in the woods.
One of them sees a deer and fires, but accidentally shoots his friend in the back. When he realizes what happened, he immediately calls 911.
"Hello, what is your emergency?"
"I think I just killed my friend while hunting!"
"Ok, we'll send an ambulance immediately. But don't say things like that unless you're certain. Can you make sure he's dead?"
The emergency operator hears him walk a few steps then, *bang!*
"Ok, now I'm sure."
p**... and Murphy walking down the street, p**... falls over, p**... says 'Murphy, call me an ambulance' Murphy says..
PAAAADDY IS AN AMBULANCE!!
Ambulance game
a boy said to a girl "lets play the ambulance game" girl asked "how do u play that?"
the boy said "i run my fingers up your legs and you say red light when you want me to stop"
girl "OK"
after sometime girl screams
red light
red light
ahh ahh red light
boy "ambulance doesn't stop at red light s**..."
I said, "Did it hurt?"
She looked puzzled, so I continued. "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" She lifted her head slightly and whispered, "Please... call... an ambulance..."
That's when I looked up and realized she's actually fallen out of a window.
A note to the guy behind me driving to work this morning.
Dear guy behind me driving to work this morning,
Don't get mad at me for driving the speed limit. It's there to keep people safe!
And don't get mad at me for not getting out of your way. You don't own the road!
And don't ever flash your lights and honk your horn at others to make them move...geez. Such a rude ambulance driver!
Gorilla Encounter
Two gay guys are at the Zoo. They come across a gorilla and notice that the male gorilla has a massive e**.... The gay men are fascinated by this.
One of the men just can't bear it any longer, and he reaches into the cage to touch it. The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for two hours non-stop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by. When he's done, the gorilla throws the man out of the cage.
An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital.
A few days later, his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, "Are you hurt?"
"AM I HURT?" he shouts. "Wouldn't you be? He hasn't called! He hasn't written!"
How did the lawyer chip his tooth?
The ambulance slammed on its brakes.
What do you call a man with a knife in his belly, an axe in his back and an arrow in his head?
An ambulance.
What sound does a Nintendo Ambulence make?
Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U.
Did you know that rosa Parks died because...
She refused to get in the back of an ambulance
What do you call a woman drowning in money?
Rich...
Also an ambulance.
What do you call a white man in a ghetto?
An ambulance.
The President of Nintendo Died...
The ambulance went WII U, WII U, WII U
What was the ambulance saying when they were carrying Satoru Iwata?
Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U
What do you call a man with a s**... in his head?
An ambulance
What noise does a Nintendo ambulance make?
Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u
What do you call a black guy who was stabbed by a Mexican?
An ambulance.
Dad, quick, call me an ambulance!
"Okay, ambulance."
^^^^^^sorry
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app this morning...
...and it sent an ambulance to my house
Xbox one and PS4 got into a brutal fight, someone called an ambulance
Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U
Caller: Hello, 911, my friend collapsed, we need an ambulance. 911: What is your location?
Caller: Peotone St. at Charlevoix
911: Can you spell that?
Caller: Look, I'll drag him to 3rd and Oak - send the ambulance there.
What happens when the PS and XBOX servers go down?
The ambulance comes lights and sirens, "WII-U WII-U WII-U"
I'm sorry, I'll leave now ._.
What is the best vegetable delivery vehicle in the world?
An ambulance
Playstation and Xbox had a fight. Then came the ambulance
Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U
Xbox One and PS4 Get into a car c**......
And here comes the ambulance "WIIUWIIUWIIUWIIUWIIU"
I'm dying, call me an Ambulance.
Dad: Okay Dying, you're an ambulance.
"I'm dying call me an ambulance"
Best friend: "Ok dying, you're an ambulance"
Two guys are hunting in the woods
All of a sudden, one collapses. His friend calls 911 in a panic. "What do I do? My friend is dead!" "Just calm down," says the operator. "An ambulance is on the way. First, we need to make sure he is actually dead." There is silence for a moment. The operator hears a loud BANG!!!! The hunter returns to the phone. "Okay, now what?"
There's a giant hole in town and everybody is falling in it and going to the hospital
The mayor holds a meeting and asks everyone to propose a solution.
Someone stand up and says: "We should put a cop next to the hole and whenever someone falls he'll call an ambulance."
Another person offers to put an ambulance next to the hole.
Someone else offers to build a hospital next to the hole.
At this point everybody starts arguing so the mayor shuts everybody up and says: "You are all s**.... We should close up the hole and dig another one next to the hospital."
Tom Cruise was carrying amphetamine when he was mugged.
When the ambulance arrived the paramedic examined Tom Cruise and determined he was winded by a swift knee to the solar plexus.
The police officer wrote in his file: "The victim, Tom Cruise, got kneed for speed."
A woman heard that her blonde friend was in the hospital
She went to visit her, and found her propped up in bed with bandages over both her ears.
"What in the world happened to you?" she asked.
"It was the craziest thing," said the blonde. "I was ironing clothes when the phone rang. Without thinking I held the iron up to my ear and said 'hello?'"
"But what happened to your other ear?"
"I had to call the ambulance, didn't I?"
Oh no! An Xbox One and PS4 just had a head on collision...
CALL AN AMBULANCE! WiiU WiiU WiiU WiiU WiiU
A man fighting a war finds an ancient lance capable of healing wounds rather than creating them.
He names the weapon "Ambu-lance"
I don't think my wife likes me very much
when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
What do you call a journalist in Russia?
An ambulance.
It's crazy. One minute you're getting drunk as a skunk, then next thing you know, you're in the back of an ambulance.
I really shouldn't be a paramedic.
Husband: Call ambulance, Fast!
Husband: Call ambulance, Fast!
I am Having a Heart Attack...
Wife: ( Took his mobile): "Quick!! Tell me the Password!!"
Husband: It's Okay, I am feeling better now!! :D :D
Two men are out hunting when one of them suddenly drops dead
Two men are out hunting when one of them suddenly drops dead. He calls 911 immediately. The operator says "Can I help you sir?"
The man replies "I think my friend is dead! Get an ambulance! What should I do?"
The operator replies "Okay, calm down sir. First we have to make sure he is dead."
There is silence, then a gun shot, then the man comes back on "Okay, what now?"
I saw a man fall on the ground and his wife yelled, "Someone call him an ambulance!"
So I yelled back "Hey dude, you're an ambulance!" and left. Hope he's ok.
I pushed a random old guy's Life Alert to see what would happen.
He got so angry, he had a heart attack.
Good thing the ambulance was already on it's way.
No Reason, No One and Crazy
3 boys are climbing in a tree.
They are called: No Reason, No One amd Crazy.
Then No One falls out of a tree.
No Reason screams to Crazy: "Call an ambulance!"
And Crazy calls: "Hello, I am crazy. I call for no reason, because no one fell out of a tree"
A sick guy is in an ambulance.
He notices that the driver drives right past the hospital and says: Hey, where are you taking me?
The driver says: To the morgue.
The sick guy goes: The morgue? But I'm not dead yet.
Driver goes: We're not at the morgue yet.
Sports Day
It's sports day at a school for "special" kids. During the egg and spoon race, little Johnny falls and hurts himself badly.
One of the teachers freaks out and yells "call Johnny an ambulance, call Johnny an ambulance!"
All the kids immediately start pointing at Johnny and laughing saying "Johnny is an ambulance- Johnny is an ambulance!"
I found my friend trying to commit s**... in the basement
I told him to hang in there while I call an ambulance
My grandmother had a s**... last night.
"Call me an ambulance!" she screamed.
"You're an ambulance, Grandma" I said, and then I left. It felt good to help.
I love long road trips with music..
..Until the acid wear off and i realize i'm in an ambulance with the siren on.
There was an accident on the highway today.
I tried to help the victims, but there was so much blood that I felt sick and had to leave.
I'm sure they'll be okay until a different ambulance gets there.
what do you call 5 guys who fell down the stairs?
an ambulance
Jack calls an ambulance for his friend who has been hit by a car
The operator asks for his location.
Jack says I'm outside 28 Eucalyptus Road .
The operator knows there is no room for error and for clarity asks, "How do you spell that?"
There's shuffling and sounds of straining at the other end of the phone. Jack? says the operator, concerned. More shuffling and grunting.
Sorry about that says Jack. I just dragged him 'round to 1 Oak Street
Apparently, Nintendo opened a hospital recently.
Oh, hey, I can hear their ambulance driving by now!
Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U...
What do you call a guy who has broken all his arms and legs?
An Ambulance
A man went into the doctors with both ears severely burned...
The doctor said 'Christ man, how did you manage that?!'
The man replied 'Well, I was doing the ironing when I suddenly heard the phone ring. I can't believe that I did this, but I accidentally pressed the iron to my ear instead of the phone!'
The doctor thought for a moment and said 'that explains one ear, but how did you burn the other one?'
The man replied 'Well, I burned that one trying to call an ambulance!'
Husband : Please Call An Ambulance I Think Am Having A Heart Attack...
Wife : (Took His Mobile Phone) Quickly, Give Me The Password... Husband : Ooh I Think Am Fine Now...
What do you call a black guy with severed legs?
**AN AMBULANCE, CALL HIM AN AMBULANCE**
A man visit the doctor with terrible burn marks on his ears
A man visits the doctor to look at the burn marks on his ears.
How did you manage to get these burns? the doctor asks.
I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang, and in my haste I put the iron up to my ear. the man replies.
But you burnt both of them! the doctor says confused.
Well I had to call an ambulance!
Lady: Am I going to be alright?
Doctor: Don't worry, it's just a scratch on your leg
Lady: Let me see
Doctor: Your leg is in the other ambulance
Why is an Ambulance slow?
Because its a Patient Transport
What do you call a guy who gets hit by a truck?
An ambulance
Today my son threw a quarter in the well at the mall and said "I wish my dad was dead." And because of his attitide we went home without buying anything.
When we got to our house we saw an ambulance and the coroner at Jim's house, apparently he had a freak heart attack about thirty minutes before hand, it was odd because he was a personal trainer and in great shape, my wife seemed real upset by his passing. Though it was strange because I've never even seen them speak to eachother.
What do you call when a black man gets hit by a bus?
The Ambulance.
What do you call an ambulance with loads of steroids in it?
Ambu-Lance Armstrong
I was driving home last night and as I looked in my rear view mirror I saw a big van which said 'Ambulance' on the front with sirens blaring trying to pass me.
Yeah nice try I thought, I'm not moving, it's clearly a fake. The word 'Ambulance' is always written backwards on real ones.
Mom told me this joke long ago, remains my favourite joke to date.
Rory fell down the stairs and broke his leg. He yelled to his friends, Guys, call me an ambulance!
So Rory's friends started dancing around him singing, Rory is an Ambulance, Rory is an ambulance!
