Amber Jokes

Following is our collection of megan humor and melanie one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Amber puns for adults, dirty alexis jokes or clean jessica gags for kids.

There is an abundance of alice jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 20 funniest jokes on amber. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any emily witze you can hear about amber.

The Best jokes about Amber

"What do you dream of doing, kids?" Asked the teacher...

Jimmy: "I want to be a pilot"

Amber: "I want to be a teacher"

Stacy: "I want to be a good mother"

James: "I want to help Stacy to be a mother"

My blonde girlfriend broke up with me today.

She was upset at me getting a text from Amber Alert

The Carnival Date

Jesse took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Amber?" asked Jesse.

"I want to get weighed," replied Amber.

They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.

Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Jesse again asked Amber what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said.

Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Jesse lost his dollar.

By this time, Jesse figured that she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.

Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How did it go?"

Amber responded, "Oh, Waura. It was wousy."

A couple is arguing and breaking up

And he says:
- You don't love me because I'm colorblind, right Violet?
- You stupid! I told you my name is Amber!!

A story of two blondes

Two blondes were in a bar watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge that was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said Betty.

"Bet you $10 he won't," replied Amber. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second blonde hands the first her money.

"I can't take your money," said Betty. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news."

"No, no. Take it," said Amber. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"


What dating app do Catholic Priests use?

Amber Alerts.

I just got an AMBER alert that won't open...

It says: error 404 child not found

Why did Amber Heard and Charlie Sheen's secret lovechild take his father's name instead of his mother's?

Because children should be sheen and not heard.

The only girl who ever texts me...

Is Amber Alert.

Did she know that Elon Musk was cheating on her?

Yeah, Amber Heard

If you're going to play a 311 song...

... make sure you issue an Amber Alert.


Dark as charcoal

A mother goes to the kindergarten to pick up her daughter.

She arrives to a nightmarish scene, the whole place is crawling with fireman, emergency vehicles and panicked parents, the kindergarten caught on fire, smoke everywhere.

She runs around frantically calling for her daughter: "Amber! has anyone seen my Amber!?!"
She tries to run inside the smouldering ruins of the kindergarten, but a fireman stops her, and says: "Sorry ma'm, but there's only Ashleys in there."

How does Amber Heard like her eggs?

Beaten.

Wife : I'm leaving you!

Wife : I'm leaving you

Me : Why?!

Wife : You lie to me constantly!

Me : Ha! You don't just leave the man who invented the spatula, Amber!

Did you hear the one about the amber alert?

Neither did the children in my basement.

Did you hear that Johnny Depp won in the 50M defamation case?

Amber heard.

What happened when Honey Boo Boo's mom lost 120 pounds?

An amber alert was issued

We've gotten three Amber alerts in the last week alone

That poor girl just can't catch a break.

What do you do at an amber light?

Go faster.


What do you call a 911 call from a stripper?

...an Amber Alert

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes