Ambassador Jokes

20 ambassador jokes and hilarious ambassador puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ambassador that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Ambassador Short Jokes

Short ambassador jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ambassador humour may include short embassy jokes also.

  1. "Mr. Sessions, thank you for agreeing to testify before us today. Could you please tell us, what did you discuss with the Russian ambassador?" "Our grandchildren."
  2. Why did the ambassador have extra resistance to harmful foreign bacteria? He had diplomatic immunity.
  3. After Israel threatened to take the Security Council vote as an act of war, the New Zealand Ambassador called Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.... ...Picking up the phone, he spoke "Hebrew."
  4. Trump about Sweden Trump: I'm sorry for your loss. We stand with Sweden at this difficult time.
    Norwegian Ambassador: I'm from Oslo.
    Trump: Today, we all are.
  5. A Soviet man slashes the tire of an American ambassador's limo. When he got caught and asked why he did it, he replied:
    "I wanted to get a whiff of freedom."
  6. Did you hear that Trump may nominate his daughter to be the new UN Ambassador? Finally, someone he can really get behind.
  7. The transgender community should change their slogan to transformers looking for equality maybe Michael Bay would become an ambassador.
  8. I love pinball Wizard as much as the next guy but that band has no business appointing International ambassadors in the first place.
  9. What's the difference between a Russian ambassador and a chicken? The Russian ambassador is Turkey
  10. Spent Father's Day with an ambassador who was really sad that he was fired. He was disconsolate.

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Ambassador One Liners

Which ambassador one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ambassador? I can suggest the ones about spokesperson and advocate.

  1. Why dont ambassadors get sick? Diplomatic immunity
  2. The Swiss embassy has had it's flag stolen. Ambassadors are nonplussed.
  3. Why should you never give ambassadors personalized gifts? Because they always represent!
  4. I think without doubt the best job in Iraq, would have to be Foreign Ambassador...
  5. Where do ambassadors go when they are sad? The disconsulate.
  6. How come ambassadors never get sick? They have diplomatic immunity.

Ambassador joke, How come ambassadors never get sick?

Uproarious Ambassador Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about ambassador you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean secret agent jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ambassador pranks.

The Queen was riding in an open carriage with the American Ambassador when one of the horses let out an enormous f**....

The Queen turns to the Ambassador and says "My goodness, I do apologise"
"That's OK Ma'am, I thought it was the horse"

Sunday in church after St. Patrick's Day

It was a sunday after St. Patrick's day in the church of a small village in the west of Ireland. Obviously all the people were more or less hungover, which infuriated the pastor of the village.
"It's a disgrace how we celebrate our most important saint by indulging in binge drinking and other improper activities. If I could have all the wine in the world, I would throw it in the river!"
There was a wave of murmur among the churchgoers.
"If I could have all the beer in the world, I would throw it in the river as well!"
The people put their heads down in guilt, thinking about what they had done.
"If I could have all the SPIRITS in the world, I would throw them in the river with the beer and the wine!"
Now the church was completely silent.
After a short while, the musical conductor of the church spoke up, "Now let us sing hymn number 369, *'Shall We Gather at the River?'*"
I heard this story from the ambassador of Ireland in Finland.

Two ambassadors — one Israeli and one Palestinian — are staying in a hotel...

They decide to order lunch, each opting for a porterhouse steak. Unfortunately, the kitchen staff find that there is only one porterhouse left. No one knows what to do, as nobody dares give either ambassador a replacement meal. The cook really wishes for a two-steak solution.

The French Ambassador was on a visit to the U.K.

During one stage of the visit, he was travelling in the Royal Carriage with Her Majesty the Queen.
Suddenly, one of the horses let out a tremendously loud and powerful f**....
"Oh dear, one can only apologise!" Said the Queen.
The French Ambassador was shocked. "I thought it was the horse!"

The Brazilian ambassador meets with Donald Trump

The Brazilian ambassador meets with Donald Trump, and offers him 50 Brazilian soldiers to help with the fight against terrorism. Trump says, That's fantastic!"
Later that day Trump calls his Chief of Staff and tells him about the offer of 50 Brazilian soldiers.
The Chief of Staff says, That's fantastic!"
Trump says, Yes, but remind me again, how many is a 'Brazilian?'"

h**... and Goebbels go out to lunch.

h**... and Goebbels go out to lunch after watching the Japanese ambassador eat an entire octopus. Goebbels says to h**... "What should we eat"? h**... says "definitely not sea food".

During WW1 Switzerland had 250 000 soldiers

The German Kaiser asked the Swiss ambassador in Berlin: "What would Switzerland do if I invaded with 500 000 soldiers?"
The ambassador replied: "Shoot twice and go home."

Islamic Star Trek?

The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech, and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a United States Marine Corps General.

As they talked, the Iranian said, "I have just one question about what I have seen in
America ."
The General said, "Well, is there anything I can do to help?"
The Iranian whispered, "My son watches this show called 'Star Trek' and in it there
is Kirk who is Canadian, Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, Uhura who is black, and Sulu who is Japanese, but there are NO Muslims. My son is very upset and doesn't understand why there aren't any Iranians, Iraqis, Afghans, Egyptians, Palestinians, Saudis, Syrians, or Pakistanis on 'Star Trek'.

"The General leaned toward the Iranian Ambassador, and whispered in his ear, "That's because it takes place in the future..."

Ambassador joke, Islamic Star Trek?