The Best 77 Amazon Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Amazon jokes. There are some amazon retailers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these amazon paypal puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Amazon Jokes and Puns
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon today
I'll let you know.
Why is working at Amazon warehouse like being a coke addict?
You spend 10 hours a day doing nothing but clearing lines.
Yesterday I thought I was in the Amazon river
Turns out I was in denial
Amazon's birthday
Today is Amazon's birthday. Many happy returns, Amazon!
What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River?
The Amazon River actually has sails.
Where does Wonder Woman buy all her stuff?
Amazon.
Amazon Asked Me to Write a Review
Amazon asked for feedback on the used telescope I bought from their site.
I was honest with my review: "This telescope sucked. Two Stars."
What's the derivative of Amazon?
Amazon Prime
Just ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon
I'll be sure to let you know which one wins so we can settle this once and for all.
Why are suicide kits so hard to sell on Amazon?
They never have positive reviews.
I just ordered a chicken and an egg off Amazon....
I want to see which one comes first.
You can explore amazon costco reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean amazon online dad jokes. There are also amazon puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A registered organ donor passed away. His body was sent to Amazon Prime...
Because they de-liver for free.
An amputee found a cheap artificial arm for sale on Amazon...
It was secondhand.
I was looking for a lighter on amazon...
But they only had 112.422 matches.
I tried to look up lighters in Amazon.
All they had was 13,749 matches.
My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house...
I told her, "Fear of the CIA".
She laughed, I laughed, the Amazon Echo laughed. I shot the Amazon Echo
What do you get when Wonder Woman has sex with a transformer?
Amazon Prime
Why did Amazon name their drone delivery service Amazon Prime Air?
Because the name Dropbox is already taken
A man goes to an interview for a lumberman position
Interviewer: So, what's your experience in the field? Where have you worked?
Man: I have worked in the Amazon forest, in Canada and in the Sahara desert
Interviewer: In the Sahara desert? But there are no trees there
Man: Yeah, now
Wonder Woman would have been a much better movie without all the product placement.
2 and a half hours of Amazon this and Amazon that... sheesh.
If Wonder Woman is the best female warrior
Would that make her Amazon Prime?
What would you call a Crossover between Wonder Woman and Transformers?
Amazon Prime.
You know the razor blade works...
when there are no reviews for it on Amazon.
What's another name for Best Buy?
The Amazon Showroom.
I was looking for some razor blades on amazon today
I assume the ones with no reviews are the best.
I ordered a chicken and egg on Amazon today....
Now all we have to do is wait..
The Apple iPhone 8, Samsung Galaxy S8, Snapchat Spectacles, and the Amazon Echo Show all came out in 2017. Who won the year?
The NSA
What's the name of the Transformer that likes to shop?
Amazon Prime
If you login to Amazon
and other retailers websites for Thanksgiving sale, you may save up to 70%........
But if you don't login, you'll save 100%
My parents got an Amazon Echo for Christmas and all they do is shout at it and get disappointed by all it can't do.
I've been replaced by Alexa and it's great.
What do you call 2 monkeys that share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
My wife asked me how Wonder Woman got her new sword in the Justice League movie...
I told her that she must have Amazon Prime
I appauld Amazon for being progressive on the whole "Who can use which restroom issue".
They don't care who pees in what bottle.
I wrote a book about how to tell a believable joke story and I'm selling it on Amazon
But nobody buys it.
Guy calls in on radio show
**Guy**: Hey! I found this wallet with $2k, an Amazon gift card, and it says it belongs to someone named 'Ryan'
**Host**: Oh how nice of you. Do you want me to ask Ryan to reclaim it?
**Guy**: No, I want to request a sad song for Ryan
I just saw a book on Amazon called "Overcome Procrastination"
I've put it on my wish list.
If Wonder Woman and Spiderman went into business together
would they call it Amazon Web Services?
I had to report my stolen amazon package
The police are still looking for a prime suspect
I regret naming my daughter Alexa because of the popularity of the Amazon Echo. So we decided to change her name to something that will never be a popular word.
We're trying to pick between Cortana and Bixby
I bought a chicken and an egg off of Amazon today...
I'll let you know.
What do you call a Transformer in a cardboard box?
Amazon Prime.
Amazon
I ordered a thesaurus from Amazon but when it was delivered all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
My son asked me why I was whispering all quiet.
I told him I thought the CIA was listening. He laughed. I laughed. Amazon Echo laughed.
After buying a new sail for my boat, Amazon told me it's too late to cancel my order.
That sail has shipped.
I finally bought the limited edition Thesaurus from Amazon that I've always wanted. When I opened it, all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
How do Australians order monkies?
Amazon Prime, mate.
My wife didn't order anything from Amazon yesterday
So the courier guy knocked on the door today to check if we were ok.
Amazon just got approved for drone delivery
We now have skeet shooting with prizes.
Jeff Bezos has never been the President of Amazon.
Just the Prime Minister.
I started a new job as an Amazon delivery driver today. When I got to my first address there was a note saying 'Dear delivery man, we're out, please hide in garbage'
That was eight hours ago and still no one has found me
I'm binging a TV show for free on Amazon, but it won't let me watch certain episodes. Specifically episode number 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, and 97.
Those are only available on Amazon Prime.
I hate Amazon. I went to go buy a lighter.
But all I found was 12,943 matches.
I was just reading a great book saying that if a company does anything unethical, people will stop supporting it and it'll go out of business.
Here's the Amazon link to it!
I bought a sail for my boat on Amazon the other day. Today it dawned on me that it's not the right size so I called to cancel. They said it's too late.
That sail has shipped.
Best way to vaccinate the masses
Train all of the Amazon drivers to give it.
Everyone will have it by Saturday.
Thursday if you have Prime.
What transformer is made out of cardboard and shows up in two days?
Amazon prime
Jeff Bezos stepped down as CEO of Amazon.
Quit when he was in his Prime.
Did you hear Jeff Bezos is stepping down from Amazon?
Odd, since he was in his Prime.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
What do you call the leader of Amazon Cooking?
Chef Bezos.
The ad in the paper said, "You think you're funny? Tell us your best pun, and you'll win a $200 Amazon gift card!"
Well, I just couldn't resist. I sat down and wrote not one, but 10 of my best knee-slappers, rib-ticklers, and witty turns-of-phrase. I sent my list of comedy gold to the paper, and then began daydreaming about what I would do with $200.
The day on which the paper announced the contest winner finally arrived! I scanned, and then carefully read the full-page of submissions, but the truth stared me in the face. Of my submissions that should have won, no pun in ten did.
I called Amazon and told them all my packages were late...
... and got the wildest excuse EVER GIVEN.
Why Amazon bought Whole Foods
Jeff Bezos: Alexa buy olives from Whole Foods
Alexa: Buying all of Whole Foods
Jeff: No Olives... Meh I can afford it go ahead.
Jeff Bezos is no longer the President of Amazon.
But he's still the Prime Minister.
Went to buy a lighter on Amazon,
when I searched, it said, "4.2 million matches found!" Guess I'll have to go to the store.
Did you hear that Mike Tyson just got a job at Amazon?
He just really wanted to be a professional boxer again.
I bought a boomerang on Amazon...
...but only because of their 100% return policy.
I'm unhappy with prime day
Amazon Prime day is on the 21st. I personally would not partake of Prime day unless it were on the 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 7th, 11th, 13th, 17th, 19th, 23rd, 29th, or 31st
Did you know you can order eggs and chickens on Amazon?
I'll let you know which comes first.
I saw a book on Amazon titled How to Solve 50% of your life's problems.
Naturally I ordered two copies.
Jeff Bezos' Advice
An Amazon employee greets Bezos shortly after his successful spaceflight and gives him a hearty congratulations. Jeff responds, "Well, if you work hard, set yourself goals and work with determination, I should be able to squeeze in 2 more flights before Christmas."
The chief editor of the New York Times is traveling in the Amazon jungle
He travels deep into the jungle hoping to write a story about a tribe of cannibals.
After a couple of weeks he finally locates the tribe and starts spying on them from behind some trees.
He feels a tap on the shoulder and he quickly gets captured and finds himself tied up and looks down and sees a spit with glowing coals warming up below him.
He screams for mercy and says You don't understand, I'm the chief editor of the New York Times!! .
The head cannibal replied, relax…
Soon you'll be the editor in chief…
I saw a book on Amazon, How to reduce your life's problems by 50%.
Naturally I ordered two copies.
Netflix and Amazon Prime are no longer available in Afghanistan.
Because of the telly ban.
What's the difference between Amazon and prison?
You can sit down in prison
Amazon Thesaurus
I ordered a thesaurus from Amazon, but when it was delivered all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the amazon courier jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working amazon alexa piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.