Howlingly Hilarious Amazingly Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
My car broke down this morning, so I looked under the bonnet and saw a bat sitting on the engine. Amazingly, he said, Hello Dave! You're a handsome fellow and very nicely dressed, too!" I realised the problem straight away.
Bat flattery
An atheist is walking along the bank of Loch Ness, suddenly, out of the depths appears Nessie.
She snatched the atheist up in her jaws and threw her head back, throwing thim up in the air. Just before the atheist fell into Nessie's jaws he cries out
"Oh god help me!"
Amazingly, time froze and God appeared next to the atheist. God asked:
"My son, all your life you have forsaken me, why now do you call upon me?"
The atheist responded with: "Give me a break, I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster five minutes ago either!"
A truck carrying Vicks Vapor Rub overturned on the highway, but amazingly traffic was fine.
No congestion for hours!
Did you hear about the Mucinex truck that collided with a Nyquil truck on the highway?
Amazingly, the entire area was congestion-free for over 8 hours.
The Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Enginner
A Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Engineer were driving down a mountain when suddenly the car slides off the road and rolls down the Mountain. Amazingly none of the occupants had been hurt.
The Mechanical Engineer steps out and says hand me my Swiss army knife I will have this repaired in no time and we can be on our way.
The Project Manager says Wait Up, We need to set achievable goals, set a timeline and ensure we are all working with maximum efficiency to solve this problem.
The Software Engineer Just says "Wow! that is strange, lets push it back up and see if it happens again"
When Santa enters a house to give stuff to kids he's a hero and a amazingly kind man
When I do it I get arrested for trespassing and being a child predator
A truck loaded with Vicks vaporub overturned on the highway
amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours.
A woman goes to her doctor complaining that every time her husband comes home from drinking he beats her......
The doctor says that next time he comes home, open a bud light, take a swig and keep it in her mouth as long as possible without swallowing. Wife says ok and heads home
Two days later she is back and tells the doctor that it work amazingly, her husband came home drunk, so she grabbed the bud light, took as swig and kept it in her mouth for nearly ten minutes, her husband didn't hit her once!
Doctor looks at her and says "amazing what happens when you keep your mouth shut"
California hasn't fallen into the sea, so apparently it worked.
Back in the 1970's there was a cult in California who believed that they could save California by appeasing the San Andreas. There were parts of San Andreas that literally gaped open wide, and members of the cult were noted for throwing all their earthly possessions down into the amazingly deep cracks in the Earth's crust. Of course, skeptics accused the cult of being merely generous to a fault.
A truck carrying vicks vaporub overturned on the highway.
Amazingly there was no congestion for 8 hours strait.
Desperate Need of Good Jokes
Basically I've had the s**... day/month and I could really do with some cheering up.
Hit me with your cheesiest and amazingly bad jokes :-)))
You can explore amazingly lined reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean amazingly perks dad jokes. There are also amazingly puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I just found out Pride is one of the seven sins.
Good thing I'm so amazingly humble.
The big race
It was the day of the big race. Usain Bolt was going to run against a cheetah, the world's fastest animal, capable of reaching speeds of up to 70 mph!
People knew Usain didn't stand a chance, but watched anyway. At last, they were off, and in a matter of seconds the race was over - amazingly, Usain Bolt came out victorious!!!
Because...cheetah's never win.
My girlfriend has a twin
I asked for a t**... once and amazingly she said yes!
Not only was her twin better looking but he was an all round great guy as well
Ben was at home looking for his super cool amazingly fantastic awesome dad
When it was clear his dad wasn't inside sitting, he went to the window and saw....
That his dad was outstanding
You hear about the Nyquil truck that collided with a Mucinex truck?
Amazingly, the entire area was congestion-free for over 12 hours.
(Amazingly, an original joke!) Where will they put Deadmau5 when he dies?
In a Mau5oleum!
Some women are amazingly funny
Then there's Any Schumer
