Amazingly Jokes

Following is our collection of lined humor and unscathed one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Amazingly puns for adults, dirty perks jokes or clean shot gags for kids.

There is an abundance of awe jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 16 funniest jokes on amazingly. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any shockingly witze you can hear about amazingly.

The Best jokes about Amazingly

The Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Enginner

A Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Engineer were driving down a mountain when suddenly the car slides off the road and rolls down the Mountain. Amazingly none of the occupants had been hurt.

The Mechanical Engineer steps out and says hand me my Swiss army knife I will have this repaired in no time and we can be on our way.

The Project Manager says Wait Up, We need to set achievable goals, set a timeline and ensure we are all working with maximum efficiency to solve this problem.

The Software Engineer Just says "Wow! that is strange, lets push it back up and see if it happens again"

A woman goes to her doctor complaining that every time her husband comes home from drinking he beats her......

The doctor says that next time he comes home, open a bud light, take a swig and keep it in her mouth as long as possible without swallowing. Wife says ok and heads home
Two days later she is back and tells the doctor that it work amazingly, her husband came home drunk, so she grabbed the bud light, took as swig and kept it in her mouth for nearly ten minutes, her husband didn't hit her once!
Doctor looks at her and says "amazing what happens when you keep your mouth shut"

California hasn't fallen into the sea, so apparently it worked.

Back in the 1970's there was a cult in California who believed that they could save California by appeasing the San Andreas. There were parts of San Andreas that literally gaped open wide, and members of the cult were noted for throwing all their earthly possessions down into the amazingly deep cracks in the Earth's crust. Of course, skeptics accused the cult of being merely generous to a fault.

Desperate Need of Good Jokes

Basically I've had the shittiest day/month and I could really do with some cheering up.
Hit me with your cheesiest and amazingly bad jokes :-)))

I just found out Pride is one of the seven sins.

Good thing I'm so amazingly humble.


A woman and a man are involved in a car accident...

It's a bad one, caused by the woman's reckless driving. Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says; So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

The man replied," I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!

The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police to come and collect their evidence."

The big race

It was the day of the big race. Usain Bolt was going to run against a cheetah, the world's fastest animal, capable of reaching speeds of up to 70 mph!

People knew Usain didn't stand a chance, but watched anyway. At last, they were off, and in a matter of seconds the race was over - amazingly, Usain Bolt came out victorious!!!

Because...cheetah's never win.

My girlfriend has a twin

I asked for a threesome once and amazingly she said yes!

Not only was her twin better looking but he was an all round great guy as well

Ben was at home looking for his super cool amazingly fantastic awesome dad

When it was clear his dad wasn't inside sitting, he went to the window and saw....

That his dad was outstanding

TYPICAL WOMEN..

A woman and man get into a car accident. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither one of them is hurt.

After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says, "Wow, look at our cars -- there's nothing left! This must be a sign from Him that we should be friends and not try to pin the blame on each other."

The man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely."

The woman points to a bottle on the ground and says, "Somehow this bottle of Scotch from my back seat didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this Scotch and celebrate our good fortune."

She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, and chugs about a third of the bottle to calm his nerves. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police."

Loch Ness

An atheist is walking along the bank of Loch Ness, suddenly, out of the depths appears Nessie.

She snatched the athiest up in her jaws and threw her head back, throwing the atheist up in the air. Just before he was about to fall into Nessie's jaws he cries out :


"Oh god help me!"


Amazingly, time froze and God appeared next to the atheistand God asked:

"My son, all your life you have forsaken me, why now do you call upon me?"

The atheist responded with: "Give me a break, I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster five minutes ago either!"


(Amazingly, an original joke!) Where will they put Deadmau5 when he dies?

In a Mau5oleum!

Three fishermen were out fishing when they suddenly came upon a mermaid.....

The mermaid offered them one wish each,


so the first fisherman said:

"Double my IQ!"


So the mermaid did and to his surprise, he started reciting Shakespeare.

Then the second fisherman said:

"Triple my IQ!"

Sure enough the mermaid did and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn't even know existed.

The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his IQ.


The mermaid said, "Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!"

The fisherman said "yes" so the mermaid turned him into a woman.

Once there was this cruel maestro.....

He was very cruel and bad. Once as he was backing up his car, he rode over a little girl, killing her, but he didn't care. He was caught and sentenced to death by the electric chair. He was seated in the chair, the switch flipped, he was electrocuted, but amazingly he didn't die. So he was let to live.
After some days as he was backing up his car yet again, he hit another girl killing her instantly. But he didn't care. Again he was caught and sent to the electric chair, he didn't die and let to live.
But now the maestro was a changed man, he left his cruel ways and decided to follow the path of good. But to his bad fortune as he was again backing up his car, he accidentally hit a girl. He rushed her to the hospital but the girl died. Again he was sent to the electric chair, but this time, he died.
Do you know why?
Because at first a bad conductor and the electricity didn't kill him, then he became a good conductor.

My time in Walmart

After losing one of my dumbbells, I spent an eternity In Walmart trying to buy the other one. Twenty minutes of searching only to be told they mustn't be on the shelf and 30 minutes spent twiddling my thumbs while they found the last one out the back. Amazingly it was identical to my lost one which was an odd 9kg (I thought i'd never find another one). The 15 minute line to the cashier went quickly as I stood beaming at just how lucky I was. When I got to the cashier she apologised profusely to which I replied:


"That's ok, It was worth the weight."

Some women are amazingly funny

Then there's Any Schumer

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes