The Best 49 Amateur Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Amateur jokes. There are some amateur weightlifter jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these amateur championship puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Amateur Jokes and Puns

Tiger Woods playing golf.

Sorry if this is a repost, but I found this one quite funny.

Tiger Woods is practicing golf one day, surrounded by fans and media. While he's practicing, an amateur
golfer confidently walks up to him and challenges him to a match. Tiger knew he'd win, so he agrees thinking that it would be a fun break from serious practice. "OK," the amateur says, "Since I'm an amateur and you're a pro, you'll have to allow me two gotchas". Tiger didn't know what a gotchas is, but he didn't ask because he thought he'd win regardless of what handicap is placed on him. The fans and media leave the two alone so they can play in peace.

A few hours later, the two come out of the golf course and it turns out that Tiger Woods lost. The fans and media surrounded him wanting to know what happened. Tiger says, "I was starting the first hole, concentrating to tee off, you know, deep in thought. Right when I was about to drive the ball, he ran up from behind, grabbed my nuts and squeezed them tight while loudly screaming 'GOTCHA!!' can you imagine me trying to play eighteen holes waiting for the next gotcha?"

An amateur group of Islamic film makers have posted a video on YouTube which mocks Christianity and Jesus Christ.

It is believed to be so offensive that St Mary's church in Dublin have postponed their tea and cake morning until next Wednesday, and Dorothy O'Neill from Dinlge has written a strongly worded letter.

When will the madness end?

An amateur golfer playing in his first tournament

was delighted when a beautiful girl came up to him after the round and suggested he come over for a while. The fellow was a bit embarrassed to explain that he really couldn't stay all night but that he'd be glad to come over for a while. Twenty minutes later they were in he bed making love. When it was over, he got out of bed and started getting dressed.

"Hey," called the girl from beneath the covers, "where do you think you're going? Arnold Palmer wouldn't leave so early."

At that he the golfer stripped off his clothes and jumped on top of her. After they'd made love a second time, he got out of bed and put his pants back on.

"What are you up to?" she called. "Jack Nicklaus wouldn't think of leaving now." So the golfer pulled off his pants and screwed her a third time, and afterward he started to get dressed.

"C'mon, you can't leave yet," protested the girl. "Tiger Woods wouldn't call it a day."

"Lady, would you tell me one thing?" asked the golfer, looking at her very seriously. "What's par for this hole?"

Amateur joke, An amateur golfer playing in his first tournament

A buddy asked if I was pro gay...

I'm not even amateur gay; I didn't even know they had a league!

The new FIFA videogame will come in the following difficulties: World Class, Professional, Semi Pro, Amateur...

and Brazil.


What's the worst thing about being a professional alligator wrestler?

You have to start off by being an amateur alligator wrestler.

Amateur reporting in a nutshell

Look, a mythical creature! Quick, grab the worst camera we've got!

Amateur joke, Amateur reporting in a nutshell

I knew an amateur boxer with a coke habit.

He kept his stash in his headgear because he thought it would soften the blow.

Where are all the women in amateur astronomy?

At the other end of the telescope.

An amateur home renovator, I just refinished the badly worn and stained parquet

Wife says, "I Can't Believe It's Not Better."

I run an amateur dramatic society. Someone approached me recently wanting to do an all dwarf version of the pantomime "Aladdin".

The concept is a little wishy-washy.

You can explore amateur pro reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean amateur rugby dad jokes. There are also amateur puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


On Kashyyyk, Chewbacca's homeworld, would amateur junior-level warriors be called Rookie Wookies?

:)

What is the opposite of a protein?

An amateur teen ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)

The rap game today really lacks direct rhyming, style of rhyming, and structure. It's just amateur.

It really feels likes there is a complete lack of poetic pros.

What do you call an amateur circumcision?

A rip-off

Whats the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief?

An amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!"

A professional thief says, "Sign here please.."

Amateur joke, Whats the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief?

A little known fact about Hitler was that he was an amateur Chinese chef

He wrote a best selling cookbook, Chow Mein Kampf.

A group of amateur bank robbers plan their first heist, but only have post-it notes to work with.

Should be easy enough to pull off.

I once met an amateur prostitute...

I guess she's just called a 'stitute'.


What's the difference between Tiger Woods and an amateur golfer?

Only one of them gets convicted for reckless driving

When I was a kid I used to think I had a photographic memory.

All of my memories were blurred and cut off at the neck.

It was an amateur photographic memory.

What does an amateur Mexican real estate agent say to his clients.?

Hey look, homes

My father was a U-boat captain and amateur philosopher.

Such a deep sinker.

As an amateur dermatologist detective this latest case has me stumped...

I'm not too worried though alopecia it all together in the end.

What do you call an amateur sports team made up entirely of poets?

semi-prose

How did the amateur win the karate tournament?

He won the No-Belt Prize.

A limbo amateur walks into a bar

Some people say that going to bars on St. Patrick's Day and New Year's Eve is "amateur hour."

But that's just because they don't have a sponsor yet.

Don't be afraid to do something new

Remember, the Noah's ark was built by an amateur and the Titanic by professionals.

I just finished reading a book by a group of amateur poets...

The poems aren't bad, but you can tell they're not prose.

I don't understand this recent trend where everyone seems to be obsessed with protein.

I'm way more into amateur teen.

a Proverb

"floccinaucinihilipilification" is a proverb.

"Go" is an amateur verb.

I work with an amateur architect.

It puts a roof over my head, sort of.

What do you call an amateur hitman?

hitormissman

What's black and crispy, and hangs from a chandelier?

An amateur electrician

Did you hear about the semi-pro boxer who was an amateur pilot?

He's been deciding on a career and we're still waiting on his fight or flight response.

Amateur golf should be included in paralympics

because they are all handicapped

How did the amateur bass player introduce himself?

Hey guys, so I play the guitar, lowkey

I'm a bit of an amateur mind-reader

I know what you're thinking...

An amateur comedian gets stabbed by another experienced comic, Police arrest the experienced comic and in his testimonial, he had written

Well, he took a stab at humor first!

What do you call an amateur expert on fish?

A fishionado

Why do amateur gamers always lose battles?

They don't have enough Intel.

I've heard many things about the benefits of probiotics, but I think they are too expensive . . .

So can anyone recommend any good amateur biotics?

Golf joke

Golfer decides to have a drink after a solo round of golf and heads in to the clubhouse.

Golfer [panting]: I'm spent. I just played 18 holes.

Gay bartender: Amateur.

I've never trusted an amateur masseuse.

They just rub me the wrong way.

An American, a German and an Arabian prince brag about who has the largest family.

The American says: "I got 5 kids. Only one more and I have an complete ice hockey team."

The German replies: "You amateur. I got 10 kids. Only one more and I can send a complete foootball (soccer) team onto the filed."

The Arabian prince then replies: "That's nothing... I've got 17 wives. Only one more and I have a complete golf course."

What do you call a piece of charcoal at the end of a wire?

An amateur electrician

Burnt

I burned myself on a cup of coffee earlier…..it was amateur pain. However I burnt myself on my grill not too long after that…..it was propane.

What do you call a dyselxic, amateur wizard?

Dude who can barely spell.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the amateur hbo jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working amateur angler piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes