The Best 35 Alzheimer Patients Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Alzheimer Patients jokes. There are some alzheimer patients jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these alzheimer patients puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Alzheimer Patients Jokes and Puns

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take in to screw in a lightbulb?

To get to the other side

A man takes his wife to get tested for Coronavirus.

2 days later he gets a call from the lab.

Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you sir that your wife's test results have been mixed up with another patient's. We're not sure if she has COVID-19 or Alzheimer's disease.

Man: So what am I supposed to do now?!

Doctor: I'd recommend taking her for a long walk and leaving her, if she finds her way back home, don't open the door.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to tell a joke?

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to tell a joke?

Doctor: You have cancer and Alzheimer's

Patient: Atleast Idont have Cancer

Patient: "Gimme the bad news first!"

Doctor: "You have AIDS."

Patient: "What's the good news?"

Doctor: "You have alzheimer's."

Patient: "Well that's not so bad, at least I don't have AIDS."


Doctor: You have Alzheimer's and cancer.

Patient: Thank God it's not Alzheimer's.

A guy goes in to see his doctor...

A guy goes in to see his doctor. The doctor evaluates the patient and says "I have bad news - you have Alzheimer's disease and you have cancer". The guys looks back at his doctor and says, "At least I don't have Alzheimer's".

The doctor says, "I have bad news, You have Cancer, and Alzheimer's Disease."

The patient says, "Well at least I don't have Cancer."

Doctor: I'm afraid you have cancer and alzheimers.

Patient: Hey, at least I don't have cancer!

An Alzheimer's patient walks into bar...

to get to the other side.

What's an Alzheimer patient's favorite horror movie?

The Blair...Which project?
[Made my roomie laugh at least]

You can explore alzheimer patients reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean alzheimer patients dad jokes. There are also alzheimer patients puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A doctor tells his patient his results...

A doctor goes to his patient and tells him:"I have bad news for you.
First, you have cancer, and second, you have Alzheimer disease.
I am really sorry for you." The patient says:"At least I don't have cancer"

A doctor says to his patient: I have bad news, and I have worse news

A doctor says to his patient: I have bad news, and I have worse news

The patient says: Give me the worse news first

Doctor: You have cancer.

Patient: Oh no, then what's the bad news?

Doctor: You also have Alzheimer's.

Patient, relieved: Well, at least I don't have cancer!

Doctor: I have two bad news for you.

Doctor: The first one is that you have cancer.

Patient: whats the second one then?

Doctor: you also have alzheimer's.

Patient: well at least I dont have cancer

The doctor has some bad news...

A patient goes to see the doctor. The doctor examines him, and then says, "I have bad news. You have cancer, as well as Alzheimer's."

The patient says "well, at least I don't have Alzheimer's."

A doctor is reading out tests results to an elderly patient.

- Sir, the two test results are in and I'm afraid I have bad news. First of all, you have phase 8 terminal metastasized cancer.
- Oh no.. damned, this is not good.. what else?
- You also have quite a severe case of Alzheimer.
- oh thank god for that! I thought you were going to tell me I had cancer.

Doctor: "Sir, the results are in. I'm afraid you have a serious case of 80s Rock Bands Alzheimer's"

Patient: "Oh my god. What is the cure??!"

Bad news

A doctor says to his patient: 'I'm afraid I've got bad news for you. You've got cancer and Alzheimer's disease'.
The patient responds: 'Well, at least I don't have cancer'.

What do you call a politician with a clear conscience?

An Alzheimer's patient.


A doctor tells his patient, "I have bad news and worse news."

"The bad news is that you have cancer. The worse news is, you also have Alzheimer's."

The woman sits and thinks for a moment, seeming to ponder these heavy diagnoses. Finally, she says "Well, I guess it could be worse. At least I don't have cancer!"

Doctor says to his patient "you have cancer and Alzheimer"..

Patient looks at him and says: "At least I don't have cancer."

A Joke

A guy goes to the doctors office for an appointment...

The doctors starts off with bad news,

Doctor: (to the patient) Ok, I have two bits of bad news.

Patient: Ok what is it?

Doctor: One, you have Cancer.

Patient: Oh god no that's pretty bad! What's number two?

Doctor: Two is, you have Alzheimer's.

Patient: Well good God, at least I don't have cancer.

A patient and his doctor were sitting in the doctor's clinic. Doctor: "I regret to inform you that you have cancer and Alzheimers".

Patient: "Oh well, at least I don't have cancer".

A doctor tells his patient, "I have some bad news."

The patient replies, "Oh no doctor, what is it?"

The doctor answers, "You have Alzheimer's."

The patient freaks out and says, "Oh my goodness, and the bad news?"

Two Diseases

Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you that you have cancer. You also have Alzheimer's disease.


Patient: Well at least I don't have cancer!

Doctor: "I've got very bad news - you've got cancer and Alzheimer's"

Patient: "Well, at least I don't have cancer"

A 75 year old person goes to the doctor.

Doctor: We've received your reports. And I have a very bad news for you. You have Cancer and Alzheimer!

Patient: Oh! Well... At least, I don't have Cancer!

At the doctor's

After a lot of medical tests the doctor says to the patient:

"I have 2 bad news for you. First is, you have cancer. The second one is you have Alzheimer". To which the patient answers : " Thanks god its not cancer"

Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients?

They hid their own eggs!


Doctor: I have bad news. You have cancer and alzheimers

Patient: Well at least I don't have cancer

A Doctor says to his Patient...

A Doctor says to his Patient, "I am unhappy to inform you that you have Cancer and Alzheimer's." The Patient then replies with a happy face, "At least I don't have Cancer."

A doctor says to his patient, "I am afraid you have cancer and Alzheimer's disease."

The patient replies, "That sucks, but at least I don't have cancer!"

The doctor told the patient he had cancer, and Alzheimer's...

The patient said, "well look on the bright side, at least I don't have cancer!"

bad news, you have cancer and Alzheimer's

Doctor: "It's bad news, you have cancer and Alzheimer's."

Patient: "Oh well, it could be worse - at least I don't have cancer."


Alzheimer

The doctor tells his patient: "Well I have good news and bad news..."
The patient says, "Lay it on me Doc. What's the bad news?"
"You have Alzheimer's disease."
"Good heavens! What's the good news?"
"You can go home and forget about it!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the alzheimer patients jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working alzheimer patients piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes