Alzheimer Disease Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Alzheimer Disease jokes. There are some alzheimer disease jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these alzheimer disease puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Cheerful Fun Alzheimer Disease Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy

A man takes his wife to get tested for Coronavirus.

2 days later he gets a call from the lab.

Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you sir that your wife's test results have been mixed up with another patient's. We're not sure if she has COVID-19 or Alzheimer's disease.

Man: So what am I supposed to do now?!

Doctor: I'd recommend taking her for a long walk and leaving her, if she finds her way back home, don't open the door.

Vaccinated babies are 10 times more likely to die from heart disease, cancer, and alzheimer's.

Keep kids from dying from old age, stop vaccinating today.

Donald Trump said in an interview that he would consider killing himself if he ever had Alzheimer's Disease.

Sadly, the interviewer didn't have the presence of mind to say, "I know. You've said that already."

A comfortably old joke

A doctor runs a test on an elderly lady in the hospital and comes in to her room to read her the results.
"I have some bad news, and some more bad news. You have cancer, and you also have Alzheimer's disease"
The woman says "Well at least I don't have cancer."

An old guy goes to the doctor

The doctor examines him and says: "Well my friend, you have cancer and alzheimer's disease.

The old guy says: "Well, at least I don't have cancer."

Guy gets a call from his doctor...

Doc: I have bad news, and I have worse news.

Guy: Wow. Ok, well let's start with the worse news.

Doc: You have cancer and only have about 3 months to live.

Guy (shaken): Ok, what's the bad news?

Doc: You have Alzheimer's Disease.

Guy (waits a beat): Well at least I don't have cancer.

An old man goes to the doctor for a checkup

An old man goes to the doctor for a checkup. Doctor says, Okay I've got bad news and really bad news. Old man: Well, okay. what's the really bad news? You've got cancer. It's extremely aggressive and I'm giving you two weeks to live. Oh god....what's the bad news? You've got Alzheimer's disease. Oh what a relief! I though you were going to tell me I had cancer!

Yesterday, my grandpa bought a book called "how to prevent Alzheimer's disease"

He bought one today, too.

A guy goes in to see his doctor...

A guy goes in to see his doctor. The doctor evaluates the patient and says "I have bad news - you have Alzheimer's disease and you have cancer". The guys looks back at his doctor and says, "At least I don't have Alzheimer's".

My grandpa was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease....

which is good because he likes to meet new people.

The doctor says, "I have bad news, You have Cancer, and Alzheimer's Disease."

The patient says, "Well at least I don't have Cancer."

You can explore alzheimer disease reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean alzheimer disease dad jokes. There are also alzheimer disease puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.

Not only do I have Cancer, MS, Parkinson's Disease, Cystic Fibrosis, and Alzheimer's; I went to the Doctor today and he told me that I have another weird-named disease:


Prayers please, every upvote counts as a prayer ^/s

A doctor tells his patient his results...

A doctor goes to his patient and tells him:"I have bad news for you.
First, you have cancer, and second, you have Alzheimer disease.
I am really sorry for you." The patient says:"At least I don't have cancer"

Every time Galndalf sees a Hobbit he calls them Frodo.

He doesn't have Alzheimer's disease, he just does it out of force of Hobbit.

My doctor says I'm not at risk for Alzheimer's disease, so that's good.

My doctor says I'm not at risk for Alzheimer's disease, so that's good.

Grandpa picked up a spoon and looked at it oddly.

Grandpa picked up a spoon and looked at it oddly, fearing it was a sign of Alzheimer's disease I asked him what he was holding in his hand. He snapped back "Of course I know it's a spoon, but who is that old guy in the reflection? "


An older woman was awaiting the results of a medical exam when her doctor informed her of some upsetting news. "I'm afraid you've got stage 4 cancer."
"Oh my god!" she shrieked.
"That's not all. To make matters worse, you have been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease." he said.
She took a moment to process the news. After a few moments passed, relieved, she says "Well thank god I don't have cancer."

Bad news

A doctor says to his patient: 'I'm afraid I've got bad news for you. You've got cancer and Alzheimer's disease'.
The patient responds: 'Well, at least I don't have cancer'.

A man goes to the doctor for a check up

After some tests the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face.
Doctor: Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news.
Man: Well, give me the really bad news first.
Doctor: You have cancer, and only 6 months to live.
Man: And the bad news?
Doctor: You have Alzheimer's disease. Man: Oh, that's great. I was afraid I had cancer!

I think my wife has started to show the first signs of Alzheimer's disease

She says she doesn't remember what she ever saw in me

Two Diseases

Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you that you have cancer. You also have Alzheimer's disease.

Patient: Well at least I don't have cancer!

What's religious Alzheimer's Disease?

It's when you forget everything but the guilt.

The worst mix of diseases?

Alzheimer and diarrhea. You run but you don't remember where.


Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you that you have cancer and Alzheimer's disease.

Geezer: Well at least I don't have cancer.

How to tell if you have Alzheimer's disease

If you forget to zip up your pants after going to the bathroom - that's just being forgetful. If you forget to unzip before going to the bathroom - that's Alzheimer's.

I really feel torn about making jokes about this terrible disease, but that's one way of dealing with it.

A man goes to his doctor

His doctor says, your test results came back and I'm afraid I have bad news and worse news

The guy says, well I guess give me the worse news first.

Well, Bob, you have cancer, you only have about a month left to live

The guy flops into the chair, gutted.

Oh my god, that's awful! Well, what was the bad news?

You've got Alzheimer's disease.

Alzheimer's?! Oh, god! Well, looking on the bright side, at least I don't have cancer!

A man goes to the doctor to have a series of test run. He comes back in a week to get the results. The doctor says I have bad news, you have cancer. The man downs his head as the doctor says unfortunately I have more bad news.

You also have Alzheimer's Disease. The man looks up and says to the doctor, Well, at least it's not Cancer.....

My great grandfather and grandfather both have Alzheimer's

My dad is starting to show early signs of the disease as well and it's scary because I know that sooner or later I will also get Alzheimer's as well because my great grandfather and grandfather both have Alzheimer's and my dad is starting to show early signs of the disease......

A doctor says to his patient, "I am afraid you have cancer and Alzheimer's disease."

The patient replies, "That sucks, but at least I don't have cancer!"

What's the most exciting thing about Alzheimer's disease?

- You can hide your own Easter eggs
- Everything
- To get to the other side
- You meet new people everyday
- what's the most exciting thing about Alzheimer's disease

What are the three best things about Alzheimer's disease?

1. You can make new friends every day.
2. You can laugh at all the old jokes.
3. You can make new friends every day.


The doctor tells his patient: "Well I have good news and bad news..."
The patient says, "Lay it on me Doc. What's the bad news?"
"You have Alzheimer's disease."
"Good heavens! What's the good news?"
"You can go home and forget about it!"

Alcoholic to God

God meets alcoholic and tells him that he has been doing a lot of wrong things so has to suffer. He tells him he can choose one out of two diseases.

* Parkinson's disease (hand will shake continuously)
* Alzheimer's disease (memory loss)

After thinking for some, he replied that he will go for Parkinson's as it is better to spill half bottle of whiskey and drink only half of it than to forget where the whole bottle was kept.

a man goes to a doctors office

to get a diagnosis from his previous checkup. the doctor says to the man "ok sir there is some bad news, we found 2 things wrong with you."
the man says "ok doc just hit me with 'em"
the doctor says "ok well, you have cancer"
*the man nods gravely
"and you have alzheimers disease"

the man then stands up smiling, happy as can be, and says "oh thanks doc, i thought you were going to tell me i had cancer!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the alzheimer disease puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working alzheimer disease piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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