Alzheimer Disease Jokes
37 alzheimer disease jokes and hilarious alzheimer disease puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about alzheimer disease that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Alzheimer Disease Short Jokes
Short alzheimer disease jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The alzheimer disease humour may include short alzheimer patients jokes also.
- Vaccinated babies are 10 times more likely to die from heart disease, cancer, and alzheimer's. Keep kids from dying from old age, stop vaccinating today.
- What's the worst disease combination to have? Alzheimer and Diarrhea. You don't know where to run
- Yesterday, my grandpa bought a book called "how to prevent Alzheimer's disease" He bought one today, too.
- My grandpa was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease.... which is good because he likes to meet new people.
- Every time Galndalf sees a Hobbit he calls them Frodo. He doesn't have Alzheimer's disease, he just does it out of force of Hobbit.
- My doctor says I'm not at risk for Alzheimer's disease, so that's good. My doctor says I'm not at risk for Alzheimer's disease, so that's good.
- I'm beginning to realize I may have Alzheimer's disease. TIL Google has a pet T-Rex skeleton named Stan that lives at their California headquarters.
- They say an elephant never forgets... so I suggest we switch from mice to elephants to study alzheimer's disease.
- My grandfather has been diagnosed with alzheimer's disease. It isn't so bad because he enjoys meeting new people.
Share These Alzheimer Disease Jokes With Friends
Alzheimer Disease One Liners
Which alzheimer disease one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with alzheimer disease? I can suggest the ones about dementia and aids or alzheimers.
- What's religious Alzheimer's Disease? It's when you forget everything but the guilt.
- People with Alzheimer's Disease often forget what they are about to
- Alzheimer's disease is no laughing matter... Wait, what was I talking about?
- I know a good joke about Alzheimer's disease I know a good joke about Alzheimer's disease
- What was that one disease called again? Oh yeah, Alzheimer's.
Cheerful Fun Alzheimer Disease Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about alzheimer disease you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean disease jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make alzheimer disease pranks.
At least you don't have AIDS
The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!"
Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS."
"Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient.
"You've also got Alzheimer's Disease."
Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."
How to tell if you have Alzheimer's disease
If you forget to zip up your pants after going to the bathroom - that's just being forgetful. If you forget to unzip before going to the bathroom - that's Alzheimer's.
I really feel torn about making jokes about this terrible disease, but that's one way of dealing with it.
A man goes to the doctor to get the test results he'd been waiting on...
And he asked the doc, "So how'd the tests go?" The doctor says with a solemn look, "Not well. I'm afraid have bad news, and I have worse news. Which would you like first?" After pausing for a moment the patient says "Just give me the worst news first." The doctor obliges and tells him, "Well there's no easy way to say this, so I'll just say it. You have AIDS." The patient is stunned and replies, "Wow.. I... Wow that's terrible. And you have even more bad news for me?" The doctor says "Unfortunately yes. The test results showed that you have Alzheimer's disease." The patient looks relieved and replies, "Well that's not that bad. At least I don't have AIDS!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Confusion at the hospital
Mrs. Smith had just gotten home from visiting her husband in the hospital. He had fallen ill and the doctors weren't sure what was wrong with him so they wanted to keep him at the hospital for observation. Mrs. Smith had just walked in the front door and was setting her purse down when the phone rang.
"Hello?" said Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, Mrs. Smith, this is Mary calling from the hospital. I'm afraid I've got some bad news and some worse news about your husband."
"Oh dear," said Mrs. Smith, "I guess I'll take the bad news first."
"Well," said the nurse, "The bad news is that we got the test results back for your husband but there's been a bit of a mix-up. It seems that there's another patient at the hospital with the same name as your husband, Bob, and we're not sure which test result belong to which patient. One of the tests came back positive for Alzheimer's disease and the other test came back positive for AIDS."
"Oh my goodness," said Mrs. Smith, "Well that's horrible. What news could be worse than that?"
"The worse news is that we can't find your husband. He left his room and we're not sure where he went," said the nurse.
"Oh my god!" exclaimed Mrs. Smith, "What do you suggest we do?"
"Well," replied the nurse, "if your husband finds his way home, don't have s**... with him."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the diva with Alzheimer's disease say?
**DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM????** (credit to one of the writers from Bob's Burgers).
An old lady at the clinic.
Doctor: I'm afraid to tell you that you have Alzheimer's disease.
Old lady: What? No way! I played poker, did math problems, and everything to prevent this...
Doctor: It's OK ma'am. Just keep doing what you're doing to prevent your condition from worsening.
Old lady: Sure.
Doctor: I will also encourage you to write down things that may be memory intensive, and keep a daily journal.
Old lady: I will.
Doctor: I will see you in three week's time.
Old lady: Thank you! I guess i should accept my condition. At least it's not as bad as having Alzheimer's.
Jane Smith
John Smith's wife, Jane, was very ill, so John brought her to the hospital, where he left her overnight. He returned the next day to pick her up, and the Doctor approached him. "Good morning, Doctor. How is Jane?" The Doctor responded, "Sir, we had a little mixup last night. There were two women that checked in last night named Jane Smith. One was diagnosed with AIDS and the other with Alzheimer's. We are so sorry. We don't know which disease your wife has." John is distraught. "What should I do Doctor?" The doctor looked very grave as he said, "John, leave your wife very far from home, and if she finds her way back, don't sleep with her."
A comfortably old joke
A doctor runs a test on an elderly lady in the hospital and comes in to her room to read her the results.
"I have some bad news, and some more bad news. You have cancer, and you also have Alzheimer's disease"
The woman says "Well at least I don't have cancer."
Alcoholic to God
God meets alcoholic and tells him that he has been doing a lot of wrong things so has to suffer. He tells him he can choose one out of two diseases.
* Parkinson's disease (hand will shake continuously)
* Alzheimer's disease (memory loss)
After thinking for some, he replied that he will go for Parkinson's as it is better to spill half bottle of whiskey and drink only half of it than to forget where the whole bottle was kept.
Alzheimer
The doctor tells his patient: "Well I have good news and bad news..."
The patient says, "Lay it on me Doc. What's the bad news?"
"You have Alzheimer's disease."
"Good heavens! What's the good news?"
"You can go home and forget about it!"
A man walks into the doctors office.
The nurse takes him to the examination room and leaves him in there. He sits down on the table and waits for the doctor. The doctor comes in and says to the man, " Mr. Johnson, we have the results of your test. I have some very bad news for you. You have cancer."
Mr Johnson says, " Oh my god! Cancer! How long do I have to live, doc?"
The doctor says, " I'm afraid you have 6 months to live. And unfortunately I have more bad news.
" Let me sit down for a minute. Okay what's the other bad news?"
"You have Alzheimer's disease."
Mr Johnson says, " Alzheimer's disease! Oh no! That's horrible!" Mr Johnson thinks for a moment and says, " Well, at least I don't have cancer!"
A old man goes to the doctor for some tests
...and the doctor has some bad news.
"I'm sorry to tell you this. But two of your tests cam back positive. Firstly, we have detected a cancerous tumor in your lungs."
"Oh dear!" said the man.
"And secondly," the doctor said, "it seems you have tested positive for Alzheimer's disease. I'm very sorry."
The man replied, "That sounds serious! Well, on the bright side, at least I don't have cancer!"
Not only do I have Cancer, MS, Parkinson's Disease, Cystic Fibrosis, and Alzheimer's; I went to the Doctor today and he told me that I have another weird-named disease:
Hypochondria.
Prayers please, every upvote counts as a prayer ^/s
A doctor tells his patient, "I have bad news and I have really bad news."
The patient says "Give me the really bad news first."
The doc responds, "Unfortunately, you have stage 4 cancer, and you'll be dead within a month."
The patient shakes his head, trying to take it all in. "Ok..." he says, "what's the bad news?"
"The bad news," the doctor continues, "is that you have Alzheimer's disease."
"Seriously?!" the patient exclaims. "Well, I guess it could be worse. I could be dying of cancer."
Donald Trump said in an interview that he would consider killing himself if he ever had Alzheimer's Disease.
Sadly, the interviewer didn't have the presence of mind to say, "I know. You've said that already."
My great grandfather and grandfather both have Alzheimer's
My dad is starting to show early signs of the disease as well and it's scary because I know that sooner or later I will also get Alzheimer's as well because my great grandfather and grandfather both have Alzheimer's and my dad is starting to show early signs of the disease......
What's the most exciting thing about Alzheimer's disease?
Answers:
- You can hide your own Easter eggs
- Everything
- To get to the other side
- You meet new people everyday
- what's the most exciting thing about Alzheimer's disease
Grandpa picked up a spoon and looked at it oddly.
Grandpa picked up a spoon and looked at it oddly, fearing it was a sign of Alzheimer's disease I asked him what he was holding in his hand. He snapped back "Of course I know it's a spoon, but who is that old guy in the reflection? "