Alzheimer Disease Jokes
56 alzheimer disease jokes and hilarious alzheimer disease puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about alzheimer disease that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Alzheimer Disease Short Jokes
Short alzheimer disease jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The alzheimer disease humour may include short alzheimer patients jokes also.
- Vaccinated babies are 10 times more likely to die from heart disease, cancer, and alzheimer's. Keep kids from dying from old age, stop vaccinating today.
- What's the worst disease combination to have? Alzheimer and Diarrhea. You don't know where to run
- An old guy goes to the doctor The doctor examines him and says: "Well my friend, you have cancer and alzheimer's disease.
The old guy says: "Well, at least I don't have cancer." - Yesterday, my grandpa bought a book called "how to prevent Alzheimer's disease" He bought one today, too.
- My grandpa was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease.... which is good because he likes to meet new people.
- The doctor says, "I have bad news, You have Cancer, and Alzheimer's Disease." The patient says, "Well at least I don't have Cancer."
- Every time Galndalf sees a Hobbit he calls them Frodo. He doesn't have Alzheimer's disease, he just does it out of force of Hobbit.
- My doctor says I'm not at risk for Alzheimer's disease, so that's good. My doctor says I'm not at risk for Alzheimer's disease, so that's good.
- Bad news A doctor says to his patient: 'I'm afraid I've got bad news for you. You've got cancer and Alzheimer's disease'.
The patient responds: 'Well, at least I don't have cancer'. - I think my wife has started to show the first signs of Alzheimer's disease She says she doesn't remember what she ever saw in me
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Alzheimer Disease One Liners
Which alzheimer disease one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with alzheimer disease? I can suggest the ones about dementia and aids or alzheimers.
- The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
- What's religious Alzheimer's Disease? It's when you forget everything but the guilt.
- The worst mix of diseases? Alzheimer and diarrhea. You run but you don't remember where.
- People with Alzheimer's Disease often forget what they are about to
- Alzheimer's disease is no laughing matter... Wait, what was I talking about?
- I know a good joke about Alzheimer's disease I know a good joke about Alzheimer's disease
- What was that one disease called again? Oh yeah, Alzheimer's.
Cheerful Fun Alzheimer Disease Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about alzheimer disease you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean disease jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make alzheimer disease pranks.
a man goes to a doctors office
to get a diagnosis from his previous checkup. the doctor says to the man "ok sir there is some bad news, we found 2 things wrong with you."
the man says "ok doc just hit me with 'em"
the doctor says "ok well, you have cancer"
*the man nods gravely
"and you have alzheimers disease"
the man then stands up smiling, happy as can be, and says "oh thanks doc, i thought you were going to tell me i had cancer!"
At least you don't have AIDS
The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!"
Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS."
"Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient.
"You've also got Alzheimer's Disease."
Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."
How to tell if you have Alzheimer's disease
If you forget to zip up your pants after going to the bathroom - that's just being forgetful. If you forget to unzip before going to the bathroom - that's Alzheimer's.
I really feel torn about making jokes about this terrible disease, but that's one way of dealing with it.
A man goes to the doctor to get the test results he'd been waiting on...
And he asked the doc, "So how'd the tests go?" The doctor says with a solemn look, "Not well. I'm afraid have bad news, and I have worse news. Which would you like first?" After pausing for a moment the patient says "Just give me the worst news first." The doctor obliges and tells him, "Well there's no easy way to say this, so I'll just say it. You have AIDS." The patient is stunned and replies, "Wow.. I... Wow that's terrible. And you have even more bad news for me?" The doctor says "Unfortunately yes. The test results showed that you have Alzheimer's disease." The patient looks relieved and replies, "Well that's not that bad. At least I don't have AIDS!"
A guy goes in to see his doctor...
A guy goes in to see his doctor. The doctor evaluates the patient and says "I have bad news - you have Alzheimer's disease and you have cancer". The guys looks back at his doctor and says, "At least I don't have Alzheimer's".
What did the diva with Alzheimer's disease say?
**DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM????** (credit to one of the writers from Bob's Burgers).
Jane Smith
John Smith's wife, Jane, was very ill, so John brought her to the hospital, where he left her overnight. He returned the next day to pick her up, and the Doctor approached him. "Good morning, Doctor. How is Jane?" The Doctor responded, "Sir, we had a little mixup last night. There were two women that checked in last night named Jane Smith. One was diagnosed with AIDS and the other with Alzheimer's. We are so sorry. We don't know which disease your wife has." John is distraught. "What should I do Doctor?" The doctor looked very grave as he said, "John, leave your wife very far from home, and if she finds her way back, don't sleep with her."
A comfortably old joke
A doctor runs a test on an elderly lady in the hospital and comes in to her room to read her the results.
"I have some bad news, and some more bad news. You have cancer, and you also have Alzheimer's disease"
The woman says "Well at least I don't have cancer."
A man goes to the doctor for a check up
After some tests the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face.
Doctor: Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news.
Man: Well, give me the really bad news first.
Doctor: You have cancer, and only 6 months to live.
Man: And the bad news?
Doctor: You have Alzheimer's disease. Man: Oh, that's great. I was afraid I had cancer!
Alcoholic to God
God meets alcoholic and tells him that he has been doing a lot of wrong things so has to suffer. He tells him he can choose one out of two diseases.
* Parkinson's disease (hand will shake continuously)
* Alzheimer's disease (memory loss)
After thinking for some, he replied that he will go for Parkinson's as it is better to spill half bottle of whiskey and drink only half of it than to forget where the whole bottle was kept.
Alzheimer
The doctor tells his patient: "Well I have good news and bad news..."
The patient says, "Lay it on me Doc. What's the bad news?"
"You have Alzheimer's disease."
"Good heavens! What's the good news?"
"You can go home and forget about it!"
A man walks into the doctors office.
The nurse takes him to the examination room and leaves him in there. He sits down on the table and waits for the doctor. The doctor comes in and says to the man, " Mr. Johnson, we have the results of your test. I have some very bad news for you. You have cancer."
Mr Johnson says, " Oh my god! Cancer! How long do I have to live, doc?"
The doctor says, " I'm afraid you have 6 months to live. And unfortunately I have more bad news.
" Let me sit down for a minute. Okay what's the other bad news?"
"You have Alzheimer's disease."
Mr Johnson says, " Alzheimer's disease! Oh no! That's horrible!" Mr Johnson thinks for a moment and says, " Well, at least I don't have cancer!"
A old man goes to the doctor for some tests
...and the doctor has some bad news.
"I'm sorry to tell you this. But two of your tests cam back positive. Firstly, we have detected a cancerous tumor in your lungs."
"Oh dear!" said the man.
"And secondly," the doctor said, "it seems you have tested positive for Alzheimer's disease. I'm very sorry."
The man replied, "That sounds serious! Well, on the bright side, at least I don't have cancer!"
My grandfather has been diagnosed with alzheimer's disease.
It isn't so bad because he enjoys meeting new people.
Guy gets a call from his doctor...
Doc: I have bad news, and I have worse news.
Guy: Wow. Ok, well let's start with the worse news.
Doc: You have cancer and only have about 3 months to live.
Guy (shaken): Ok, what's the bad news?
Doc: You have Alzheimer's Disease.
Guy (waits a beat): Well at least I don't have cancer.
Not only do I have Cancer, MS, Parkinson's Disease, Cystic Fibrosis, and Alzheimer's; I went to the Doctor today and he told me that I have another weird-named disease:
Hypochondria.
Prayers please, every upvote counts as a prayer ^/s
Alzheimer's
Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you that you have cancer and Alzheimer's disease.
g**...: Well at least I don't have cancer.
A doctor tells his patient his results...
A doctor goes to his patient and tells him:"I have bad news for you.
First, you have cancer, and second, you have Alzheimer disease.
I am really sorry for you." The patient says:"At least I don't have cancer"
A doctor tells his patient, "I have bad news and I have really bad news."
The patient says "Give me the really bad news first."
The doc responds, "Unfortunately, you have stage 4 cancer, and you'll be dead within a month."
The patient shakes his head, trying to take it all in. "Ok..." he says, "what's the bad news?"
"The bad news," the doctor continues, "is that you have Alzheimer's disease."
"Seriously?!" the patient exclaims. "Well, I guess it could be worse. I could be dying of cancer."
They say an elephant never forgets...
so I suggest we switch from mice to elephants to study alzheimer's disease.
Alzheimer's
An older woman was awaiting the results of a medical exam when her doctor informed her of some upsetting news. "I'm afraid you've got stage 4 cancer."
"Oh my god!" she shrieked.
"That's not all. To make matters worse, you have been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease." he said.
She took a moment to process the news. After a few moments passed, relieved, she says "Well thank god I don't have cancer."
Donald Trump said in an interview that he would consider killing himself if he ever had Alzheimer's Disease.
Sadly, the interviewer didn't have the presence of mind to say, "I know. You've said that already."
A doctor says to his patient, "I am afraid you have cancer and Alzheimer's disease."
The patient replies, "That s**..., but at least I don't have cancer!"
An old man goes to the doctor for a checkup
An old man goes to the doctor for a checkup. Doctor says, Okay I've got bad news and really bad news. Old man: Well, okay. what's the really bad news? You've got cancer. It's extremely aggressive and I'm giving you two weeks to live. Oh god....what's the bad news? You've got Alzheimer's disease. Oh what a relief! I though you were going to tell me I had cancer!
My great grandfather and grandfather both have Alzheimer's
My dad is starting to show early signs of the disease as well and it's scary because I know that sooner or later I will also get Alzheimer's as well because my great grandfather and grandfather both have Alzheimer's and my dad is starting to show early signs of the disease......
A man goes to his doctor
His doctor says, your test results came back and I'm afraid I have bad news and worse news
The guy says, well I guess give me the worse news first.
Well, Bob, you have cancer, you only have about a month left to live
The guy flops into the chair, gutted.
Oh my god, that's awful! Well, what was the bad news?
You've got Alzheimer's disease.
Alzheimer's?! Oh, god! Well, looking on the bright side, at least I don't have cancer!
What's the most exciting thing about Alzheimer's disease?
Answers:
- You can hide your own Easter eggs
- Everything
- To get to the other side
- You meet new people everyday
- what's the most exciting thing about Alzheimer's disease
A man goes to the doctor to have a series of test run. He comes back in a week to get the results. The doctor says I have bad news, you have cancer. The man downs his head as the doctor says unfortunately I have more bad news.
You also have Alzheimer's Disease. The man looks up and says to the doctor, Well, at least it's not Cancer.....
What are the three best things about Alzheimer's disease?
1. You can make new friends every day.
2. You can laugh at all the old jokes.
3. You can make new friends every day.
I'm beginning to realize I may have Alzheimer's disease.
TIL Google has a pet T-Rex skeleton named Stan that lives at their California headquarters.
A man takes his wife to get tested for Coronavirus.
2 days later he gets a call from the lab.
Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you sir that your wife's test results have been mixed up with another patient's. We're not sure if she has COVID-19 or Alzheimer's disease.
Man: So what am I supposed to do now?!
Doctor: I'd recommend taking her for a long walk and leaving her, if she finds her way back home, don't open the door.
Grandpa picked up a spoon and looked at it oddly.
Grandpa picked up a spoon and looked at it oddly, fearing it was a sign of Alzheimer's disease I asked him what he was holding in his hand. He snapped back "Of course I know it's a spoon, but who is that old guy in the reflection? "
Two Diseases
Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you that you have cancer. You also have Alzheimer's disease.
Patient: Well at least I don't have cancer!