Altogether Jokes

Following is our collection of somber funnies and areas chistes working better than reddit jokes. They include Altogether puns for adults, dirty inevitable jokes or clean unite gags for kids.

There is an abundance of practically jokes out there, and you're fortunate because we've a collection of favorite ones. Check out the funniest 8 jokes on the internet, even funnier than any greed witze you can hear about altogether.

The Best jokes about Altogether

A wise man once said...

"If you make a woman laugh, you've half-undressed her."

However, if you half-undress and she laughs, that's a different thing altogether.

Today my son was sent home from school for receiving a hand-job from a girl in his class for the third time this year. Each time this has happened he has been given a stern talking to from the principal and had to change schools.

Tired of constantly moving around, I said to him "Son if this keeps happening
they are going to ban you from teaching altogether."

Texan in Ireland

A wealthy Texan is in a pub in Dublin and notices all the locals downing pint after pint of Guinness.

He makes an announcement."I'll gladly give $500 to any man who can drink 10 pints of that beer without stopping"

Everyone backs away from the bar and one man leaves the pub, altogether.
About 15 minutes later, the man who left the pub returns and says "I'll take you up on that challenge"

The bar keep lines up 10 pints of Guinness and everyone watches as the Irishman downs each one, hardly stopping to take a breath.

"Wow that was amazing!" exclaims the Texan "here's your money... but tell me one thing...why did you leave when I first made the offer?"

The Irishman wiped off his chin and said "I went to another pub to make sure I could do it."

Three Swedish men visited Copenhagen and decided to go to a Saloon...

They knocked on the door and the Madame opened. "What do you want?"
"We want to come in. We are Swedish."
"How much money are you willing to spend here?"
"We have altogether 250 crones."
"250 crones! For that price you can screw each other!"
After saying this the Madame slammed the door shut.
About 15 minutes later, the same three Swedish guys knocked on the door again. "Well, what do you want now?"
They Said "Where do we pay?"




[ps: got this joke by email. not sure why swedish. plz don't get offended].

My wife told me I needed to slow down on the alcohol...

...or better yet, stop driving altogether.


I've started using garlic in my magic act. First I start by crushing it, adding basil and some pine nuts and then I blend them altogether with some Parmesan and olive oil...

Then…hey…pesto!

My friend seemed sad. He told me his wife cut him down to once a week

Apparently I was wrong. He didn't cheer up at all when I told him I know three guys she cut out altogether.

Two cowboys looking at the desert horizon and a bunch of indians appear coming towards them...

-Are they enemies or friends?

-They are obviosly friends, they are coming altogether.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes