Alternatively Jokes

Following is our collection of merciful humor and hansel one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Alternatively puns for adults, dirty atheists jokes or clean virtue gags for kids.

There is an abundance of ideally jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 9 funniest jokes on alternatively. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any perpetual witze you can hear about alternatively.

The Best jokes about Alternatively

LPT: If you want to treat a girl like a princess, take her out for dinner or play with her hair (simple things can make anyone's day).

Alternatively you could pick her up in a Mercedes and crash into a wall.

Steer clear if you don't like cow puns

Why are cows the most forgiving animals?
Because forgiveness is bovine.
Alternatively: because they're always ready to turn the udder cheek.

Why is it best to hug a cow right after it eats?
Because then it's extra cuddly.

I knew this guy whose favorite thing was to cover a cow's eyes. He just loved to make them low and behold.

You know what makes cow puns so great?
You can always come up with an udder one.

How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Hehe... 'screw'

Alternatively: 69, but everyone expects that one.

How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?


Germans are efficient and have no sense of humor. Alternatively, none. The lightbulb should never die.

Women are like a box of chocolates

I always get stuck with the ones no one wants.

Women are like parking spaces
All the good ones are taken and the rest are either handicapped or way too far out there.
And if there's a good one then somebody just pulled out.

Brain Dead

A man got into a car accident and was rushed to hospital. At the hospital, the man's doctor declares him to be brain-dead. Soon, the man's wife shows up at the hospital. The doctor gives the wife the bad news.

"What now?! What are my options?" Sobs the wife.

The doctor replies, "Well, unfortunately, you have two options. You can ship him off to a long-term care centre and hope for the best. Or, alternatively, you can sign this form to unplug him and donate his organs. In my opinion, I believe that organ donation is the no-brainer option."

How much does funeral insurance cost

Enough to put you in so much debt you need to dig your way out

Alternatively: an arm and a leg

What do you call it when you have a fish on the line but it gets away?

Herring Loss.


Q: Why was it so difficult for the old man to reel in his fish?

A: He was hard of herring.

Q: How can fish just ignore you completely?

A: They just tuna you out.

Q: Why is Timmy afraid to go out to sea?

A: Lassie had to get help after he fell down a whale.

Why couldn't the trig professor teach the deaf kid?

Cos sec sin!

Alternatively: cosecant sine

Thanks /u/mephysteaux

I came up with this while studying, I should probably keep doing that.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes