The Best 12 Alps Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Alps jokes. There are some alps nobleman jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these alps switzerland puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Alps Jokes and Puns

How do you make a Swiss roll?

Push him off the Alps.

It took Gandhi over a month to cross the Alps barefoot, no washing, worn out, and survived only on garlic. He was a...

Super-calloused fragile mystic, extra halitosis.

Enjoying the views...

You: So..did you enjoy your trip to the Swiss Alps?

Me: Yes, it was amazing.

You: Did you enjoy the views?

Me: Mmm...No.

You: Why?

Me: The Mountains blocked the view.

Alps joke, Enjoying the views...

God was showing off the mountains he made to his angels...

He showed them the Alps, the Himalayas, and the Pyrenees.

Impressed, the first angel said "that's nice, got any more?"

God replied, "oh yeah, Andes."

What do you call a podium that crossed the alps?

A Hannibal Lectern


3 men on a skiing holiday

3 men go on a skiing holiday in the Alps and have to share the same bed, in the morning the following conversation takes place.

Man on left: I had a dream last night that I got a hand job.
Man on right: No way, I also had a dream about that as well!
Man in middle: That's funny I had a dream I was skiing.

The E.E.P.A levies charges against Franck Riboud, CEO of Evian, for tapping into protected aquifers in the Swiss Alps.

I guess he's in haute water now!

Alps joke, The E.E.P.A levies charges against Franck Riboud, CEO of Evian, for tapping into protected aquifers

Would you rather ski down a hill in the French Alps...

...or run down a slope in your car?

In 218 BC Hannibal crossed the Alps with elephants.

He got a mountain range that never forgets.

A group of Hungarian aristocrats lost their way hiking in the Alps...

> A group of Hungarian aristocrats lost their way hiking in the Alps.

>One of them, it is said, took out a map, and after studying it for a long time exclaimed: "Now I know where we are!"

>"Where?" asked the others.

>"See that big mountain right over there? *We are right on top of it.*"

George Gamow

My wife and I watched The Big Lebowski on TV?

Then I took her to bed and found her in the Alps.

You can explore alps deutschland reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean alps hannibal dad jokes. There are also alps puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


St. Bernards are dogs living in the Swiss Alps who search for lost travellers, skiers and mountaineers.

That's how they survive the winters.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the alps wilderness jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working alps alpine piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes