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Alps Jokes

20 alps jokes and hilarious alps puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about alps that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

From the foothills of the Swiss Alps to the loftiest peaks of Mount Trois, these Alpine jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face! Share these jokes with Deutschland and all of Europe; there's something in these mountains for everyone.

Funniest Alps Short Jokes

Short alps jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The alps humour may include short ski resort jokes also.

  1. It took Gandhi over a month to cross the Alps barefoot, no washing, worn out, and survived only on garlic. He was a... Super-calloused fragile mystic, extra halitosis.
  2. Enjoying the views... You: So..did you enjoy your trip to the Swiss Alps?

    Me: Yes, it was amazing.
    You: Did you enjoy the views?
    Me: Mmm...No.
    You: Why?
    Me: The Mountains blocked the view.
  3. People often overlook one of the greatest military advantages that Hannibal had when crossing the Alps... The elephant of supplies.
  4. Would you rather ski down a hill in the French Alps... ...or run down a slope in your car?
  5. The E.E.P.A levies charges against Franck Riboud, CEO of Evian, for tapping into protected aquifers in the Swiss Alps. I guess he's in haute water now!
  6. In 218 BC Hannibal crossed the Alps with elephants. He got a mountain range that never forgets.
  7. My wife and I watched The Big Lebowski on TV? Then I took her to bed and found her in the Alps.
  8. St. Bernards are dogs living in the Swiss Alps who search for lost travellers, skiers and mountaineers. That's how they survive the winters.
  9. Did you know that it took Airbus A320 8 minutes to plunge into the French Alps? Oouuuiiiii!!!
  10. What did the French pilot say as his plane spiraled down into the Alps? ¡Vive la révolution!

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Alps One Liners

Which alps one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with alps? I can suggest the ones about mountain and alpaca.

  1. How do you make a Swiss roll? Push him off the Alps.
  2. What do you call a podium that crossed the alps? A Hannibal Lectern
  3. I met a French tart hiking in the Alps last year. Her name was Too Loose to Trek
  4. Why did the pilot hit the Alps? To get to the other side.
  5. How do you treat a suicidal pilot? You give him the Alp he needs.
  6. Did you here about the French Alps pizza service? Apparently they deliver large plane's

Alps joke, Did you here about the French Alps pizza service?

Uproarious Alps Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about alps you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean avalanche jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make alps pranks.

A few years back when I've been on vacation in the Alps, my wife got pregnant. The year after that, a vacation in the Rockies, my wife got pregnant. Two years after that, a vacation in Aruba, my wife got pregnant. And another vacation's coming up…... So what are you going to do?

I think I'm going to have to take her with me this year, just in case.

God was showing off the mountains he made to his angels...

He showed them the Alps, the Himalayas, and the Pyrenees.
Impressed, the first angel said "that's nice, got any more?"
God replied, "oh yeah, Andes."

3 men on a skiing holiday

3 men go on a skiing holiday in the Alps and have to share the same bed, in the morning the following conversation takes place.
Man on left: I had a dream last night that I got a h**....
Man on right: No way, I also had a dream about that as well!
Man in middle: That's funny I had a dream I was skiing.

A group of Hungarian aristocrats lost their way hiking in the Alps...

> A group of Hungarian aristocrats lost their way hiking in the Alps.
>One of them, it is said, took out a map, and after studying it for a long time exclaimed: "Now I know where we are!"
>"Where?" asked the others.
>"See that big mountain right over there? *We are right on top of it.*"
George Gamow

Alps joke, St. Bernards are dogs living in the Swiss Alps who search for lost travellers, skiers and mountainee