Alps Jokes
20 alps jokes and hilarious alps puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about alps that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
From the foothills of the Swiss Alps to the loftiest peaks of Mount Trois, these Alpine jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face! Share these jokes with Deutschland and all of Europe; there's something in these mountains for everyone.
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Funniest Alps Short Jokes
Short alps jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The alps humour may include short ski resort jokes also.
- Enjoying the views... You: So..did you enjoy your trip to the Swiss Alps?
Me: Yes, it was amazing.
You: Did you enjoy the views?
Me: Mmm...No.
You: Why?
Me: The Mountains blocked the view. - People often overlook one of the greatest military advantages that Hannibal had when crossing the Alps... The elephant of supplies.
- Would you rather ski down a hill in the French Alps... ...or run down a slope in your car?
- The E.E.P.A levies charges against Franck Riboud, CEO of Evian, for tapping into protected aquifers in the Swiss Alps. I guess he's in haute water now!
- In 218 BC Hannibal crossed the Alps with elephants. He got a mountain range that never forgets.
- My wife and I watched The Big Lebowski on TV? Then I took her to bed and found her in the Alps.
- St. Bernards are dogs living in the Swiss Alps who search for lost travellers, skiers and mountaineers. That's how they survive the winters.
- Did you know that it took Airbus A320 8 minutes to plunge into the French Alps? Oouuuiiiii!!!
- what do people in the German Alps say before they are about to do something crazy? YO-da-lay-hee-LO
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Alps One Liners
Which alps one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with alps? I can suggest the ones about mountain and alpaca.
- What do you call a podium that crossed the alps? A Hannibal Lectern
- I met a French tart hiking in the Alps last year. Her name was Too Loose to Trek
- Why did the pilot hit the Alps? To get to the other side.
- How do you treat a suicidal pilot? You give him the Alp he needs.
- Did you here about the French Alps pizza service? Apparently they deliver large plane's
- How do you make a Swiss roll? Push him off the Alps.
Uproarious Alps Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about alps you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean avalanche jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make alps pranks.
A few years back when I've been on vacation in the Alps, my wife got pregnant. The year after that, a vacation in the Rockies, my wife got pregnant. Two years after that, a vacation in Aruba, my wife got pregnant. And another vacation's coming up…... So what are you going to do?
I think I'm going to have to take her with me this year, just in case.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It took Gandhi over a month to cross the Alps barefoot, no washing, worn out, and survived only on garlic. He was a...
Super-calloused fragile mystic, extra halitosis.
God was showing off the mountains he made to his angels...
He showed them the Alps, the Himalayas, and the Pyrenees.
Impressed, the first angel said "that's nice, got any more?"
God replied, "oh yeah, Andes."
A group of Hungarian aristocrats lost their way hiking in the Alps...
> A group of Hungarian aristocrats lost their way hiking in the Alps.
>One of them, it is said, took out a map, and after studying it for a long time exclaimed: "Now I know where we are!"
>"Where?" asked the others.
>"See that big mountain right over there? *We are right on top of it.*"
George Gamow
Talking dog for sale
A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads Talking Dog for Sale. Intrigued, he walks in.
So what have you done with your life? he asks the dog.
I've led a very full life, says the dog. I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.
The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog's owner, Why on Earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?
The owner says, Because he's a liar! He never did any of that!
