Uproarious Alps Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
How do you make a Swiss roll?
Push him off the Alps.
It took Gandhi over a month to cross the Alps barefoot, no washing, worn out, and survived only on garlic. He was a...
Super-calloused fragile mystic, extra halitosis.
Enjoying the views...
You: So..did you enjoy your trip to the Swiss Alps?
Me: Yes, it was amazing.
You: Did you enjoy the views?
Me: Mmm...No.
You: Why?
Me: The Mountains blocked the view.
God was showing off the mountains he made to his angels...
He showed them the Alps, the Himalayas, and the Pyrenees.
Impressed, the first angel said "that's nice, got any more?"
God replied, "oh yeah, Andes."
People often overlook one of the greatest military advantages that Hannibal had when crossing the Alps...
The elephant of supplies.
What do you call a podium that crossed the alps?
A Hannibal Lectern
Would you rather ski down a hill in the French Alps...
...or run down a slope in your car?

3 men on a skiing holiday
3 men go on a skiing holiday in the Alps and have to share the same bed, in the morning the following conversation takes place.
Man on left: I had a dream last night that I got a hand job.
Man on right: No way, I also had a dream about that as well!
Man in middle: That's funny I had a dream I was skiing.
The E.E.P.A levies charges against Franck Riboud, CEO of Evian, for tapping into protected aquifers in the Swiss Alps.
I guess he's in haute water now!
A group of Hungarian aristocrats lost their way hiking in the Alps...
> A group of Hungarian aristocrats lost their way hiking in the Alps.
>One of them, it is said, took out a map, and after studying it for a long time exclaimed: "Now I know where we are!"
>"Where?" asked the others.
>"See that big mountain right over there? *We are right on top of it.*"
George Gamow
In 218 BC Hannibal crossed the Alps with elephants.
He got a mountain range that never forgets.
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My wife and I watched The Big Lebowski on TV?
Then I took her to bed and found her in the Alps.
St. Bernards are dogs living in the Swiss Alps who search for lost travellers, skiers and mountaineers.
That's how they survive the winters.