Laughter Alphabet Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
Your mom is so fat she starts the alphabet with the letter "O"...
O B C D...
Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence with an "i" in it.
Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence with an 'i' in it.
Johnny: I is...
Teacher: No, Johnny, when you say 'i', it should be followed by 'am'
Johnny: Okay, I am the 9th letter of the alphabet
Not exactly a joke, butthe usually get a great reaction. Caution: not for use with those who lack basic math skills.
Pick a number from 1 to 9, but don't tell me what it is. Multiply that number by 9. If the the result is a two digit number, add the two digits together. Now subtract 5.
Where the letters of the alphabet correspond to the numbers 1 though 26, pick the letter associated with the number you have left. Think of a country that begins with that letter. Take the last letter of the country, and think of an animal that begins with that letter. Take the last letter of the animal, and think of a color that begins with that letter.
Now.... How many orange kangaroos are there in Denmark?
what part of the alphabet is the wettest?
H to O
In an English class...
Teacher: David, give me a sentence starting with "I."
David: I is...
Teacher: No, David. You must always say "I am."
David: Oh right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
So I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup today..
I'm expecting a massive vowel movement.
The Pirate and the alphabet
Why does it take a pirate so long to finish saying the alphabet?
Because they spend years at sea.
Teacher: Paul. Give me a sentence beginning with "I".
Teacher: Paul. Give me a sentence beginning with "I".
Paul: I is the...
Teacher: No, Paul . You must say "I am" not "I is."
Paul: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Why can't pirates recite the alphabet?
They keep getting lost at sea.
A man stopped breathing today at a bar...
A lady then screamed out "ANYBODY KNOW CPR"
I yelled back. "I know the whole d**... alphabet!"
Everyone Laughed... Well except 1 guy...
I suffer from tinnitus and my least favorite letter in the alphabet is...
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
You can explore alphabet consonants reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean alphabet alphabetical dad jokes. There are also alphabet puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get Christmas presents?
Because the rest of the letters are not-E.
Why can't pirates learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C.
I ate five cans of alphabet soup.....
I had the biggest vowel movement of my life.
I ate too much alphabet soup and became consonated.
I was better after I evacuated my vowels.
Getting drunk
at the bar the other night when the bar tender yelled out "Does anyone here know CPR?" I was feeling pretty good so i yelled back "I do, in fact i know the whole alphabet!" Everybody in the entire bar laughed..........except for o**....
TIL back in the day there were only 25 letters in the alphabet.
Nobody knew y.
I walk into a bar...
... And the waitress runs up to me and says. Please tell me you know CPR. I said, "LADY! not only that I know the whole alphabet". The whole bar was laughing, all except o**......
I was drinking a margarita at the bar....
And a woman screamed "Does anyone know CPR?!"
I replied that i knew the whole alphabet, we laughed and laughed.....well except for o**....
When I noticed "HI" in the alphabet, I thought someone was actually going to be my friend.
Then I saw the next two letters...
I ate four bowls of Alphabet Soup...
Then I had a massive vowel movement
I ate 4 bowls of delicious alphabet soup.
After that I had a massive vowel movement.
Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet?
Because he was always lost at C!
[ I'm^so^sorry ]
Was sitting at a bar drinking a margarita when...
a waitress yelled "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled back "I know the whole alphabet!" And we just laughed and laughed and laughed.....well except for o**....
Blackbeard the pirate sends his son BB Junior to kindergarten
As its the first day, the teachers want to gauge how smart each child is.
"who can sing the Alphabet" enquires the teacher
'Y'arrrr I can" says BB Junior
"Ok BB, go ahead" the teacher encourages
BB stands up full of confidence
"A B C C C C C C C D E F..."
"Stop" the teacher interrupts "thats not right BB there is only one C"
BB looks at her as if she's an idiot
"WRONG" he retorts "THERE ARE *SEVEN C's*"
What a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?
None of them. Historians suggest that most pirates would have been illiterate.
Teacher: Tell me the sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the....
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I". Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
I just ate four cans of alphabet soup...
...and just had the largest vowel movement ever.
I ate five cans of alphabet soup yesterday.
Then, I easily had the biggest vowel movement ever.
I was sitting in a diner waiting order, when I hear,
"Does anyone know CPR?"
I said, "I know the entire alphabet!"
We all laughed and laughed...except o**....
Fun fact: Betsy Devos' name contains every letter of the alphabet
that she knows of.
I was at a restaurant....
and the the waitress yelled "Does anyone know CPR?!".
I replied "I actually know the whole alphabet."
Everyone laughed except for this o**....
When I noticed "HI" in the alphabet I thought I had made a new friend
But then I saw the next two letters.
A Driver gets Pulled Over
A man driving home from the bar gets pulled over by a police officer.
Officer: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Driver: "I'm guessing you think I was drunk driving."
Officer: "Tell you what, my shift is ending so if you can spell the alphabet backwards, I'll let you go."
Driver: (very quickly) "ZYXWVUTSRQPONMLKJIHGFEDCBA."
Officer: "Wow, I couldn't do that sober."
Driver: "Me neither."
Why can't pirates finish the alphabet?
Because they get lost at C
Teacher: tell me a sentence that starts with an "I"
Teacher: tell me a sentence that starts with an "I"
Student: I is the...
Teacher: stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: okay! I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Dad joke level grandpa: Why are the first 25 letters of the alphabet fascist?
Because they're not-z's.
I just sneezed while eating alphabet soup...
...took the words right out of my mouth.
I was at a bar the other day, when all of a sudden, the bartender yelled...
"Does anyone know CPR!?"
I yelled back, "I know the whole alphabet!" and everyone laughed and laughed and laughed.
Well, except for this o**....
What's the difference between the Cleveland Browns and the alphabet?
The alphabet has a W .
Why is the letter "C" afraid of the rest of the alphabet?
Because all the other letters are Not-Cs
I was choking on some alphabet pasta when a lady asked if I needed help.
She took the words right out of my mouth.
Why was Z afraid of all the other letters in the alphabet?
Because all the other letters were not-Z's.
I'm really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know why.
When I was little, my dad used to feed me alphabet soup, claiming that I loved it
I didn't really; he was just putting words in my mouth.
You've heard of alphabet soup. Now get ready for
Times new ramen
Don't leave alphabet soup cooking on the stove unattended.
It could spell disaster.
You all heard of alphabet soup! Prepare yourself for...
Times New Ramen
There were plans to change the design of the 21st letter of the alphabet but Ed Sheeran stopped them
He's in love with the shape of u
Teacher: Use a sentence that starts with "I"
Bobby: I is...
Teacher: No, Bobby. You should say "I am", never "I is".
Bobby: I am the 9th letter of the alphabet.
If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd move U
Cause you're blocking the TV
Letter Z getting removed Joke
After carefully considering and debating the matter for over two years, the Engwish Wanguage Centwaw Commission (EWCC) came to the concwusion that the letter Z should be remowed from the Engwish alphabet.
zero becomes xero
zoo is now xoo
visualize becomes visualise
analyze becomes analyse
zodiac is now xodiac
I made friends with 25 letters of the alphabet
I don't know Y
I was drinking a margarita and the waitress screamed does anyone know CPR?
I yelled, I know the entire alphabet and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except o**....
Why didn't the pirate finish the alphabet?
He got lost at C
I ate an expired can of alphabet soup...
Now I have severe cramps in my vowels and I've been in-consonant all day
Guy gets pulled over by the cops.
Cop: It seems you have been drinking.
Could you say the alphabet starting with "M".
Guy: No problem. "Malphabet."
What font does alphabet soup use?
Times New Ramen.
*Credit for this goes to Kim Komando. I heard it on the radio earlier today.*
Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I"?
In the classroom the teacher is asking a student to do something.
Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with "I."
Student: I is the ...
Teacher: Stop! Never put "is" after "I." Always put 'am' after "I."
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Why don't pirates know the alphabet?
Because they get lost at C
The first four letters of the alphabet are the hardest.
The rest are e-z.
I ate four cans of alphabet soup
I later took the biggest vowel movement ever
A bartender yells Does anyone know CPR?
h**... I know the whole alphabet! I shouted.
The whole bar laughed except for o**...
I really wish people would start taking Covid more seriously...
I don't wanna have to learn the entire Greek alphabet.
I'm no racist, except when it comes to people who like the 21st letter of the alphabet
U-people make me sick
I've never learned the entire alphabet. I just know 25 of the 26 letters.
I've never known wh
Why can't pirates learn the alphabet?
You would think they have a hard time with R, but it's actually because they always get lost at C
What is a pirate's favourite letter in the alphabet?
You think it would be the R, but he's really fond of the C.
What has more letters than the alphabet...
The Post office...
My 9 year old daughter told me this before bed... i thought i'd share.
My mum used to feed me alphabet soup when I was a kid
She insisted on me telling everyone that I loved it.
I didn't really, she was just putting words in my mouth
Guy gets pulled over by the cops.
Cop: It seems you have been drinking.
Could you say the alphabet starting with the letter "M".
Guy: No problem. "Malphabet."
Why is C the only good letter in the English alphabet?
Because the others are Not-Cs
Why do pirates take such a long time learning the alphabet ?
Because they spent years at C!
At first there were only 25 letters in the alphabet.
Nobody knew why.
I hate waiting in line so much!
When I say the alphabet I stop immediately after P. That's how much I hate queues!
Police thought that I was too drunk to be driving...
When they stopped me, they asked me to say the alphabet starting with"M"
They put me in the back of the patrol when I replied:
"Malphabet"
Which letter in the alphabet is the best?
The E, because all of the other letters are Not E (Naughty).
Why did the Alphabet Army lose the war?
They just didn't have the numbers.
"When I eat alphabet soup, I only eat..."
the vowels."
Friend: "Why?"
Me: "Sometimes."
A boy has to use the restroom in class
When he asks his teacher if he can go to the bathroom she tells him, you can go if you can tell me the alphabet.
Annoyed, but really needing to go, he starts. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y and Z
The teacher then says, that was close, but where is the P?
It's running down my pants
Someone asked me...
Someone asked me what the 9th letter of the alphabet was, it was a complete guess but I was right
What do you get when you mix alphabet soup and laxatives?
Letter rip!
