JokoJokes

Alphabet Jokes

156 alphabet jokes and hilarious alphabet puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about alphabet that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for a laugh? Check out this list of alphabet jokes, from alphabet soup to alphabet mafia. From funny alphabet flirting to alphabet love, these alphabet jokes will have you in stitches. Plus, don't miss our unique alphabet jokes about the Y-vowel, the alphabet block, ABCs, and consonants.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Alphabet Short Jokes

Short alphabet jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The alphabet humour may include short letter jokes also.

  1. Teacher: Use a sentence that starts with "I" Bobby: I is...
    Teacher: No, Bobby. You should say "I am", never "I is".
    Bobby: I am the 9th letter of the alphabet.
  2. When I noticed "HI" in the alphabet I thought I had made a new friend But then I saw the next two letters.
  3. Why is the letter "C" afraid of the rest of the alphabet? Because all the other letters are Not-Cs
  4. Darth Vader: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas. Luke: How?
    Darth Vader: I felt your presents.
  5. What a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? None of them. Historians suggest that most pirates would have been illiterate.
  6. When I noticed "HI" in the alphabet, I thought someone was actually going to be my friend. Then I saw the next two letters...
  7. When I was little, my dad used to feed me alphabet soup, claiming that I loved it I didn't really; he was just putting words in my mouth.
  8. I told my wife I'm going to arrange the herb in alphabetical order from now on. She said, Where would you find the time? I said, Easy. Right next to the sage.
  9. Dad joke level grandpa: Why are the first 25 letters of the alphabet fascist? Because they're not-z's.
  10. Why can't pirates learn the alphabet? You would think they have a hard time with R, but it's actually because they always get lost at C

Share These Alphabet Jokes With Friends




Alphabet One Liners

Which alphabet one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with alphabet? I can suggest the ones about dictionary and capital letters.

  1. Your mom is so fat she starts the alphabet with the letter "O"... O B C D...
  2. I'm really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
  3. You've heard of alphabet soup. Now get ready for Times new ramen
  4. Why is C the only good letter in the English alphabet? Because the others are Not-Cs
  5. "When I eat alphabet soup, I only eat..." the vowels."
    Friend: "Why?"
    Me: "Sometimes."
  6. Why can't pirates learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at C.
  7. If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd move U Cause you're blocking the TV
  8. Fun fact: Betsy Devos' name contains every letter of the alphabet that she knows of.
  9. At first there were only 25 letters in the alphabet. Nobody knew why.
  10. The first four letters of the alphabet are the hardest. The rest are e-z.
  11. I ate five cans of alphabet soup..... I had the biggest vowel movement of my life.
  12. TIL back in the day there were only 25 letters in the alphabet. Nobody knew y.
  13. I ate 4 bowls of delicious alphabet soup. After that I had a massive vowel movement.
  14. I ate four cans of alphabet soup I later took the biggest vowel movement ever
  15. I just sneezed while eating alphabet soup... ...took the words right out of my mouth.

Alphabet Soup Jokes

Here is a list of funny alphabet soup jokes and even better alphabet soup puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My mum used to feed me alphabet soup when I was a kid She insisted on me telling everyone that I loved it.
    I didn't really, she was just putting words in my mouth
  • So I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup today.. I'm expecting a massive vowel movement.
  • You all heard of alphabet soup! Prepare yourself for... Times New Ramen
  • I ate five cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Then, I easily had the biggest vowel movement ever.
  • I just ate four cans of alphabet soup... ...and just had the largest vowel movement ever.
  • What do you get when you mix alphabet soup and laxatives? Letter rip!
  • I ate an expired can of alphabet soup... Now I have severe cramps in my vowels and I've been in-consonant all day
  • What font does alphabet soup use? Times New Ramen.
    *Credit for this goes to Kim Komando. I heard it on the radio earlier today.*
  • I ate four bowls of Alphabet Soup... Then I had a massive vowel movement
  • Don't leave alphabet soup cooking on the stove unattended. It could spell disaster.

English Alphabet Jokes

Here is a list of funny english alphabet jokes and even better english alphabet puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The letters in the English alphabet go to the beach (don't ask me why). Every letter gets sunburned except W, X, Y and Z. Why? They had UV protection in front.
  • The oxford english dictonary once debated whether or not to remove the letter 'u' from the alphabet. Why didn't they? Because of Rick Astley
  • Why do English kids repeat the alphabet only to the letter S? After S is tea time.
  • I always thought my english grades were good But then in 6th grade, i learned the alphabet
  • All Letters The only word in the English language that contains all the letters of the alphabet is, "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz" Boom.
  • Why are 25 of the 26 letters in the English alphabet problematic to Jewish people? Because they're not C's.
  • The first letter in the English alphabet is E
  • The font for expired alphabet soup Is old english.
  • Q: on a scale from 1 to 10, what is your favorite color in the english alphabet? A: Yes
  • The only good letter of the English Alphabet is the last one. The rest are n**....
Alphabet joke, The only good letter of the English Alphabet is the last one.

Alphabet Love Jokes

Here is a list of funny alphabet love jokes and even better alphabet love puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • There were plans to change the design of the 21st letter of the alphabet but Ed Sheeran stopped them He's in love with the shape of u
  • Why do pirates have trouble learning the alphabet? Because they spend years at Sea!
  • If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "U" and "I" together.
  • Question: What is a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Answer: Arrrrghhh!
    Response: Nay! 'Tis the SEA we love!!
    *My brother-in-law told me this one!
  • What's a pirates favourite letter of the alphabet? I bet you thought it was R. But everyone knows, a Pirate's first love is the C.
  • My Mom Tried To Force Feed Me Alphabet Soup, Saying I Loved It I Hate It When People Put Words In My Mouth
  • What be a pirates favourite letter of the Alphabet bet? Ye think it'd be R... But it's the C the really love!
  • You would think a Pirate's favorite letter in the alphabet is... You would think Pirates favorite letter in the alphabet would be the R
    Truth is - Pirates actually love the C
Alphabet joke, You would think a Pirate's favorite letter in the alphabet is...

Laughter Alphabet Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

What funny jokes about alphabet you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean abbreviation jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make alphabet pranks.

Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence with an "i" in it.

Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence with an 'i' in it.
Johnny: I is...
Teacher: No, Johnny, when you say 'i', it should be followed by 'am'
Johnny: Okay, I am the 9th letter of the alphabet

Getting drunk

at the bar the other night when the bar tender yelled out "Does anyone here know CPR?" I was feeling pretty good so i yelled back "I do, in fact i know the whole alphabet!" Everybody in the entire bar laughed..........except for o**....

Letter Z getting removed Joke

After carefully considering and debating the matter for over two years, the Engwish Wanguage Centwaw Commission (EWCC) came to the concwusion that the letter Z should be remowed from the Engwish alphabet.
zero becomes xero
zoo is now xoo
visualize becomes visualise
analyze becomes analyse
zodiac is now xodiac

I was drinking a margarita and the waitress screamed does anyone know CPR?

I yelled, I know the entire alphabet and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except o**....

I was at a restaurant....

and the the waitress yelled "Does anyone know CPR?!".
I replied "I actually know the whole alphabet."
Everyone laughed except for this o**....

A Driver gets Pulled Over

A man driving home from the bar gets pulled over by a police officer.
Officer: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Driver: "I'm guessing you think I was drunk driving."
Officer: "Tell you what, my shift is ending so if you can spell the alphabet backwards, I'll let you go."
Driver: (very quickly) "ZYXWVUTSRQPONMLKJIHGFEDCBA."
Officer: "Wow, I couldn't do that sober."
Driver: "Me neither."

Teacher: tell me a sentence that starts with an "I"

Teacher: tell me a sentence that starts with an "I"
Student: I is the...
Teacher: stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: okay! I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Blackbeard the pirate sends his son BB Junior to kindergarten

As its the first day, the teachers want to gauge how smart each child is.
"who can sing the Alphabet" enquires the teacher
'Y'arrrr I can" says BB Junior
"Ok BB, go ahead" the teacher encourages
BB stands up full of confidence
"A B C C C C C C C D E F..."
"Stop" the teacher interrupts "thats not right BB there is only one C"
BB looks at her as if she's an idiot
"WRONG" he retorts "THERE ARE *SEVEN C's*"

I was at a bar the other day, when all of a sudden, the bartender yelled...

"Does anyone know CPR!?"
I yelled back, "I know the whole alphabet!" and everyone laughed and laughed and laughed.
Well, except for this o**....

Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet?

Because he was always lost at C!
[ I'm^so^sorry ]

I have CDO...

It's like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order...as they should be.

I'm no racist, except when it comes to people who like the 21st letter of the alphabet

U-people make me sick

Teacher: Paul. Give me a sentence beginning with "I".

Teacher: Paul. Give me a sentence beginning with "I".
Paul: I is the...
Teacher: No, Paul . You must say "I am" not "I is."
Paul: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

What has more letters than the alphabet...

The post office...

My 9 year old daughter told me this before bed... i thought i'd share.

Teacher: Tell me the sentence that starts with an "I".

Student: I is the....
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I". Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Teacher asks their class of children to come up with a sentence beginning with "I"

After a few children come to the front with predictable statements about having a cat or a certain toy, a child steps up and says
"I is-" and is immediately interrupted by the teacher,
"I *am*!"
She side-eyes the teacher, frowns and ignores her teacher, starting again
"I is-" again, the teacher interrupts her, this time a little more snappily
"It's I *am*! Use the proper word!"
The girl turns to look at her this time, eyelids drooped with exasperation.
"Fine," she sighs "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

Why was Z afraid of all the other letters in the alphabet?

Because all the other letters were not-Z's.

I really wish people would start taking Covid more seriously...

I don't wanna have to learn the entire Greek alphabet.

I was choking on some alphabet pasta when a lady asked if I needed help.

She took the words right out of my mouth.

Was sitting at a bar drinking a margarita when...

a waitress yelled "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled back "I know the whole alphabet!" And we just laughed and laughed and laughed.....well except for o**....

A bartender yells Does anyone know cpr?

h**... I know the whole alphabet! I shouted.
The whole bar laughed except for o**...

I walk into a bar...

... And the waitress runs up to me and says. Please tell me you know CPR. I said, "LADY! not only that I know the whole alphabet". The whole bar was laughing, all except o**......

In an English class...

Teacher: David, give me a sentence starting with "I."
David: I is...
Teacher: No, David. You must always say "I am."
David: Oh right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

I've never learned the entire alphabet. I just know 25 of the 26 letters.

I've never known wh

What is a pirate's favourite letter in the alphabet?

You think it would be the R, but he's really fond of the C.

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I"?

In the classroom the teacher is asking a student to do something.
Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with "I."
Student: I is the ...
Teacher: Stop! Never put "is" after "I." Always put 'am' after "I."
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

I was sitting in a diner waiting order, when I hear,

"Does anyone know CPR?"
I said, "I know the entire alphabet!"
We all laughed and laughed...except o**....

Why do pirates take such a long time learning the alphabet ?

Because they spent years at C!

Why didn't the pirate finish the alphabet?

He got lost at C

Yo mama's so fat the only alphabet she knows is her KFCs.

Three surgeons are talking about their favorite kinds of patients.

"My favorite patients are librarians." says the first surgeon. "They're easy to operate on because their organs are all in alphabetical order."
"My favorite patients are mathematicians." says the second surgeon. "They're easy to operate on because all their organs are numbered."
"My favorite patients are politicians." says the third surgeon. "They're the easiest to operate on because they have no guts, no brains, they're heartless and their heads and buttocks can easily be switched."

Why can't pirates recite the alphabet?

They keep getting lost at sea.

A man stopped breathing today at a bar...

A lady then screamed out "ANYBODY KNOW CPR"
I yelled back. "I know the whole d**... alphabet!"
Everyone Laughed... Well except 1 guy...

Why don't pirates know the alphabet?

Because they get lost at C

Four Surgeons are getting coffee

Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside is numbered".
"I think librarians are the easiest" said the second surgeon. "When you open them up all their organs are alphabetically ordered".
The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. All their organs are color coded".
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They are heartless, spineless, gutless, and their head and their a**... are interchangeable."

I suffer from tinnitus and my least favorite letter in the alphabet is...

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

The Pirate and the alphabet

Why does it take a pirate so long to finish saying the alphabet?
Because they spend years at sea.

Guy gets pulled over by the cops.

Cop: It seems you have been drinking.
Could you say the alphabet starting with the letter "M".
Guy: No problem. "Malphabet."

I made friends with 25 letters of the alphabet

I don't know Y

What's the difference between the Cleveland Browns and the alphabet?

The alphabet has a W .

An engineer said: When I was young I decided to go to medical school.

At the entrance exam, we were asked to rearrange the alphabets
P N E I S
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when straight.
Those who answered SPINE are doctors today, while the rest are Engineers.

Guy gets pulled over by the cops.

Cop: It seems you have been drinking.
Could you say the alphabet starting with "M".
Guy: No problem. "Malphabet."

Four surgeons

Four surgeons sit around discussing their favorite patients.
The first surgeon says, "I like operating on librarians. When you open them up, everything is in alphabetical order".
The second surgeon says, "I like operating on accountants. When you open them up, everything is in numerical order".
The third surgeon says, "I like operating on electricians. When you open them up, everything is color coded."
The fourth surgeon says, "I like operating on politicians."
The other three surgeons look at each other in disbelief.
The fourth surgeon continues, "Because they're heartless, gutless, spineless, and the a**... and head are interchangeable."

The divorce lawyer told me to get my affairs in order.

I said alphabetically or by age

Why can't pirates finish the alphabet?

Because they get lost at C

Three Doctors

Three doctors are discussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, ''I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.'' Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ''I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.'' Doctor Ahn says, ''I prefer lawyers. They're gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear-ends are interchangeable.''

what part of the alphabet is the wettest?

H to O

Alphabet joke, what part of the alphabet is the wettest?

jokes about alphabet