The Best 45 Alpha Jokes
Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of funny alpha jokes. From witty one-liners to hilarious knock-knock jokes, we've got all the laughs you need.
Top 10 Funniest Alpha Jokes and Puns
Alphabet soup
Good for your vowels.
What do you call the dominant male in a school of fish?
The *Alpha* Beta...
What happens when you combine an alpha particle and a beta particle?
They become alpha-beta-cle
Alphabet soup...?
More like times new ramen..
Alpha Kenny Wun
Write that "name" down and ask someone you know to read it out loud during class.
What did the alphabet master say when his apprentice dropped his vowels?
I've got my I on U.
I was alphabetising my spice rack...
when I realised I have too much spare thyme.
What are Alphabet employees gonna be called?
Characters.
In light of Google becoming Alphabet, Gmail will be replaced with "Alpha Mail."
Alpha
Cure mom, sofa king hard
Alphaterrorism
Part of the alphabet has been destroyed in a terrorist attack. It's not yet known which letter had anything to do with the atrocity, but early reports suggest G had.
You can explore alpha delta reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean alpha foxtrot dad jokes. There are also alpha puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
All the letters of the alphabet line up in front of a prostitute
A says, "Alpha queue".
You always hear about alpha males and beta males, but I'd prefer to be a gamma male
They have a higher rate of penetration...
Why is the alphabet of a pirate incomplete ?
Because they lost an I.
My wife Mei said to me, "You just rike Trump."
"Confident? An alpha male?" I said.
She shook her head.
"Real-estate savvy? A canny businessman?"
She looked at the floor and sighed.
"Proud father of - "
"No Steve!" She said, slamming the knife down on the counter. "Both roose erection!"
Alphabet Pick-up-line
Me: You remind of the 20 letters of the alphabet
Girl: There are 26 letters in the alphabet dumbass
Me: Oh, I forgot to mention, U R A Q T
Girl: That still only makes 25 . . .
Me: Don't worry, I will give you that D later
Did you hear about the seal who was exposed to alpha radiation?
He's a sealion now.
How do you call the biggest beer bottle?
The alpha ale.
If alphabets were neo-feminists...
x - "Did you just assume my number"
When is being an "Alpha" not a good thing in the dating world?
When you are a type of radiation. No one wants someone who can't penetrate well.
The alphabet is such a pretentious snob...
... it always says "hi", "jk".
If there's Alpha Centauri and Beta Centauri....
When are they releasing the full game?
Alpha particles are cool and all, but...
Single electrons are beta
People keep asking me if I'm an alpha male or a beta male...
My name is Charlie ffs.
I would say the alphabet backwards but cba.
What do you call a tough mailman?
Alpha Mail
Two postman compete to see who can deliver more letters, what do you call the winner?
The alpha mail
The alphabet scares me
A bee sea?
No thank you, I'll just stop you right there.
What's the difference between the midget and the alpha male?
The girl didn't see the midget coming.
If you can read this...
India Mike November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Golf India Victor Echo Yankee Oscar Uniform Uniform Papa November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Lima Echo Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform Delta Oscar Whiskey November November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Romeo Uniform November Alpha Romeo Oscar Uniform November Delta Alpha November Delta Delta Echo Sierra Echo Romeo Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform.
Some friends are talking about whose wife is the boss of the house.
Some friends are sitting at a table talking about whose wife is the boss of the house.
One friend points at an empty table and says, Whoever thinks their wife is the alpha sit over there.
Everyone, but one man goes over to the empty table and sits.
Everyone applauds, You're the alpha of the house?
No, my wife doesn't like me sitting in crowded places.
I'm not an Alpha OR Beta male so...
...I must be an Omega male because I'm the last guy anyone will sleep with.
Alphabetti Spaghetti makes a handy ouija board...
...for contacting people who've pasta way.
I used to be an Alpha, but now I have so much experience as a Beta
I've become a Master Beta
I'm like an alpha particle
The only thing I can penetrate is air.
They say that alpha males are always the ones wearing the pants in the relationship.
Unless of course your a frequent mastur-beta.
Say the alphabets!
One day lil Jhonny had to badly go to the bathroom. His English teacher Miss. Strict didn't believe he had to go that badly and thought he was disrupting the class so told him to hold it in. Lil Jhonny kept pestering her every 5 mins until she had it. So she said recite the alphabets quickly and I'll let you go.
Lil Jhonny "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ".
Miss. Strict "Lil Jhonny where is your P?"
LJ "It's running down my pants Miss. Strict".
How many letters in alphabet joke
Boy: There are 20 letters in the Alphabet right?
Girl: 26.
Boy: Ah Heck, sorry i forgot the U R A Q T.
Girl: That makes 25.
Boy: I know I will give you the D later...
Why is the letter Z the last letter in the alphabet joke
Why is letter Z last in the alphabet?
Because he is always sleeping!
Letter Z getting removed Joke
After carefully considering and debating the matter for over two years, the Engwish Wanguage Centwaw Commission (EWCC) came to the concwusion that the letter Z should be remowed from the Engwish alphabet.
zero becomes xero
zoo is now xoo
visualize becomes visualise
analyze becomes analyse
zodiac is now xodiac
The alphabet is terrifying.
A bee sea? No thank you
The alphabet in 2021: ABDFGHJKLMNOQSVWXYZ.
There will be no more ER, ICU, or TP.
What do you call 26 letters chipping in to make a big gamble?
An alpha bet.
I have an alphabet grenade.
If it goes off, it could spell disaster.
Guys who call themselves "alpha males" stand true to their name.
They have the lowest rate of penetration.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the alpha sergey jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working alpha hotel piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.