Alpha Jokes

Following is our collection of kappa humor and peni one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Alpha puns for adults, dirty rho jokes or clean epsilon gags for kids.

There is an abundance of overreaction jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 36 funniest jokes on alpha. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any zeta witze you can hear about alpha.

The Best jokes about Alpha

Letter Z getting removed Joke

After carefully considering and debating the matter for over two years, the Engwish Wanguage Centwaw Commission (EWCC) came to the concwusion that the letter Z should be remowed from the Engwish alphabet.

zero becomes xero
zoo is now xoo

visualize becomes visualise
analyze becomes analyse

zodiac is now xodiac

You always hear about alpha males and beta males, but I'd prefer to be a gamma male

They have a higher rate of penetration...

When is being an "Alpha" not a good thing in the dating world?

When you are a type of radiation. No one wants someone who can't penetrate well.

I was alphabetising my spice rack...

when I realised I have too much spare thyme.

In light of Google becoming Alphabet, Gmail will be replaced with "Alpha Mail."


Two postman compete to see who can deliver more letters, what do you call the winner?

The alpha mail

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

India Foxtrot Yankee Oscar Uniform Charlie Alpha

November Romeo Echo Alpha Delta Tango Hotel

India Sierra India Mike November Echo Victor Echo

Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha

Golf India Victor Echo Yankee Oscar Uniform

Uniform Papa November Echo Victor Echo Romeo

Golf Oscar November November Alpha Lima Echo

Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform Delta Oscar

Whiskey November November Echo Victor Echo

Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha

Romeo Uniform November Alpha Romeo Oscar Uniform

November Delta Alpha November Delta Delta Echo

Sierra Echo Romeo Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform

My wife Mei said to me, "You just rike Trump."

"Confident? An alpha male?" I said.
She shook her head.
"Real-estate savvy? A canny businessman?"
She looked at the floor and sighed.
"Proud father of - "
"No Steve!" She said, slamming the knife down on the counter. "Both roose erection!"

Alphabet Pick-up-line

Me: You remind of the 20 letters of the alphabet

Girl: There are 26 letters in the alphabet dumbass

Me: Oh, I forgot to mention, U R A Q T

Girl: That still only makes 25 . . .

Me: Don't worry, I will give you that D later

Why is the alphabet of a pirate incomplete ?

Because they lost an I.

People keep asking me if I'm an alpha male or a beta male...

My name is Charlie ffs.


If there's Alpha Centauri and Beta Centauri....

When are they releasing the full game?

Some friends are talking about whose wife is the boss of the house.

Some friends are sitting at a table talking about whose wife is the boss of the house.

One friend points at an empty table and says, Whoever thinks their wife is the alpha sit over there.

Everyone, but one man goes over to the empty table and sits.

Everyone applauds, You're the alpha of the house?

No, my wife doesn't like me sitting in crowded places.

The alphabet scares me

A bee sea?

No thank you, I'll just stop you right there.

If you can read this...

India Mike November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Golf India Victor Echo Yankee Oscar Uniform Uniform Papa November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Lima Echo Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform Delta Oscar Whiskey November November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Romeo Uniform November Alpha Romeo Oscar Uniform November Delta Alpha November Delta Delta Echo Sierra Echo Romeo Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform.

Alpha particles are cool and all, but...

Single electrons are beta

Alphabet soup

Good for your vowels.

What do you call the dominant male in a school of fish?

The *Alpha* Beta...

The alphabet is terrifying.

A bee sea? No thank you


What do you call a tough mailman?

Alpha Mail

Alpha Kenny Wun

Write that "name" down and ask someone you know to read it out loud during class.

Alphabet soup...?

More like times new ramen..

How do you call the biggest beer bottle?

The alpha ale.

What did the alphabet master say when his apprentice dropped his vowels?

I've got my I on U.

Say the alphabets!

One day lil Jhonny had to badly go to the bathroom. His English teacher Miss. Strict didn't believe he had to go that badly and thought he was disrupting the class so told him to hold it in. Lil Jhonny kept pestering her every 5 mins until she had it. So she said recite the alphabets quickly and I'll let you go.

Lil Jhonny "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ".

Miss. Strict "Lil Jhonny where is your P?"

LJ "It's running down my pants Miss. Strict".

Alphaterrorism

Part of the alphabet has been destroyed in a terrorist attack. It's not yet known which letter had anything to do with the atrocity, but early reports suggest G had.

What's the difference between the midget and the alpha male?

The girl didn't see the midget coming.

How many letters in alphabet joke

Boy: There are 20 letters in the Alphabet right?
Girl: 26.
Boy: Ah Heck, sorry i forgot the U R A Q T.
Girl: That makes 25.
Boy: I know I will give you the D later...

Why is the letter Z the last letter in the alphabet joke

Why is letter Z last in the alphabet?

Because he is always sleeping!

What are Alphabet employees gonna be called?

Characters.

I'm not an Alpha OR Beta male so...

...I must be an Omega male because I'm the last guy anyone will sleep with.

Alphabetti Spaghetti makes a handy ouija board...

...for contacting people who've pasta way.

They say that alpha males are always the ones wearing the pants in the relationship.

Unless of course your a frequent mastur-beta.

I'm like an alpha particle

The only thing I can penetrate is air.

I used to be an Alpha, but now I have so much experience as a Beta

I've become a Master Beta

What happens when you combine an alpha particle and a beta particle?

They become alpha-beta-cle

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes