Following is our collection of generally humor and loads one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Alot puns for adults, dirty eggnogstic jokes or clean tol gags for kids.
There is an abundance of lot jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 77 funniest jokes on alot. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any shitload witze you can hear about alot.
Which was ironic since we were at a bus stop
It was painful, it was tiring
But at least my dad came
"You can learn alot about paranoids, just by following them around."
So one day he stole some bread because he was starving and couldn't buy food. He was caught and sentenced to death. It's really not that funny, but this joke was poor Lee executed.
At various times in her life, a woman is like the continents of the world. From 13 to 18, she's like Africa- virgin territory. From 18 to 30, she's like Asia- hot and exotic. From 30 to 45, she's like America- fully explored and free with her resources. From 45 to 55, she's like Europe- exhausted, but not without places of interest. From 55 onwards, she's like Australia- everybody knows it's down there, but nobody cares.
It's really sad cause he can't seem to stand up for himself.
i would have 10 euros and alot of counterfeit money
Because the one with the most votes wins
It would have alot of trans fat
she is always asking me if I am still listening
She interrupted him and said: but I have one flaw you should be aware of: I fart alot! Like a lot!
He giggled and said it's alright I have a problem with my nose too, I can't smell that well.
After three days of them living together ,
The guy is opening the windows of the apartment,
And the wife is crying and shouting YOU LIED TO ME, YOU CAN SMELL!,
The guy responded: no I didn't but it is getting hard to walk around here! my eyes are burning!
Too bad I haven't made much money.
It means alot to them
yank on the string and she'll make alot of noise
[I drink ALOT the night before. I'm so hungover, dying doesn't seem that bad of an idea.]
[Pulling out]
Me: Excuse me, what?
It means alot.
Just a bunch people arguing whose fictional character is the best.
That explains alot about my Tinder matches.
A horse goes into a bar and orders a pint.
The bartender says "You know, you are in here quite alot. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?"
The horse says "I don't think I am...." and promptly vanishes from existence.
>!See, this was a famous joke about Descartes' famous line from philosophy "I think, therefore I am". But if I had explained that before the rest of the joke it would of been putting Descartes before the horse.!<
Man they got alot of water up there..
a mother went into the Centrelink (welfare) office to discuss receiving benefits. during the interview she was asked about her children.
interviewer: how many children do you have?
mother: 7, all boys
interviewer: wow, thats alot. what are their names?
mother: well they are all named Dave
interviewer: all of them? what do you do to call them for dinner? or to get them to school?
mother: well I just call out "Dave, it's time for dinner" and they all come running, same for school, "Dave! time for school" and they all get ready and go.
interviewer: well that does make it easier. what do you do if you just want a certain one of them?
mother: easy, I just use their last name.
Alot of them go missing.
If there under 13 do them in your head
There was once a man named Odd. He was very embarresed by his name and didn't want anyone to know about it. When he died he had no name written on his gravestone.
One day a bunch of tourists came to his town and visited the graveyard where they came across a gravestone with no name on it.
"That's Odd!" He said
You can do it with a credit card, but it's much easier with a knife
He really kneaded the dough alot
im under alot of pier pressure!
You get alot of bang for your buck.
The russian has a bottle of vodka, The mexican has a bottle of tequila, And the texan has a bottle of whiskey. The russian gets up, chugs the whole bottle, throws it up and shoots it and says "in my country we have lots of vodka". After that the mexican gets up, chugs his bottle of tequila, throws it in the air and shoots. Then he says "in my country we have lots of tequila". So then the texan gets up, chugs his bottle of whiskey, throws it up in the air and shoots the mexican. Then he says "Back in texas we have alot of mexicans"
Someone had to die for it to happen.
I asked him if he charges alot for his circumcisions
He said "No, I just keep the tips."
For instance... If they're around your throat she's probably upset
Then i was born
Unfortunately we lost alot of money when this investment was outlawed.
Saw a gentleman with a Christmas themed walking stick, covered in tinsel and alot of tree lights, I complimented the man on the festiveness of the stick.
He turned and said "Yes well usually I have difficulty with my stick being a bit too heavy but this is the only time of the year it's light"..
Bob Loblaw
And Iran, I ran so far away!
Generally you are eating out, it cost alot and you never want to finish...
Now whenever I tell my kids to "Sit Down!" when they are acting up in public, they reply with "Be Humble!"
But now my friends say I can't bring it up.
That's alot of pressure.
Because they know alot about things that are in-bred.
A little boy was eating a bag of candy when a lady approached him and said, "you know, that candy will rot your teeth and shorten your life", to which the boy replied, "I dunno, my uncle lived to be 107 years old". "Oh", said the lady, "and your uncle ate alot of candy I suppose"? "No", said the boy, "he minded his own fuckin' business"!
When did she change her last name to 'For Prison'?
so they decided that in order to cater to these people, they would decorate the station with metrognomes
Short cummings.
...he turns to his friend and says, "Hella Copters"
Jesus was nailed to a cross and killed by his own people for the things he did. I'm not 100% sure that he's the best person to look to for decision making advice.
Alot of T gets dumped in a harbor
Cause life's a movie, and I'm just practicing my lines.
Set a fat kid on fire
Hash with alot of Salt
But his best ones were when he was in A Minor
i spent alot of my days trying to grow a specific seasoning in my garden. it took forever, but once it finally produced, i had the thyme of my life.
and when I say alot I mean a lot.
It sure makes me glad that 14 year olds can't vote.
There was no war, just alot of violins
D to go forward, R to go backward
It's pretty average for them.
I see people like archery now.
Because they drink to much coughee.
like this one time, I was in the middle of a funeral and... oh god dammit.
The cost alot to maintain,
Considering the amount of time you spend inside them
Best decision I ever made. She taught me alot about myself.
Never done it...
let me be your *soil*mate
My report is filled with Fs
ba-dum-tss
One has a negative connotation and the other is a cult
Urine alot of trouble!!
a whole lot of mowing through stuffΒ with a few patches here and there
I dunno what they're called but they sure do enjoy their Seizure salads alot.
But I think people should Romaine calm.
Young women make alot of noice in the bedroom.... I guess they don't expect to see anyone in their window...
Than their would of been definately quiet alot of money in my bank then all of you're genious combined.
I guess that finally makes me a player then.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.