Laughable Alongside Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
A cop is driving down the freeway when he looks over and spots a granny knitting whilst balancing the steering wheel with her knees
He pulls alongside the granny, and angrily shouts "pull over!"
The granny shouts back, "no, it's a scarf"
A Woman Who Reads
One morning a husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, drops anchor and begins to read her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies.
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, Officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with s**... assault,"says the woman.
"But I have not even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day, ma'am," he said, and left.
Moral of this story: Never argue with a woman who reads. It is likely she can also think.
Fighter jock and the cargo pilot
A cargo plane is flying along, doing its cargo plane thing, when a fighter jet comes up alongside.
The fighter jock decides to poke some fun at the pilot who's forced to fly such an ungainly vessel.
"My plane's so much more advanced than yours. Watch this" says the jock, as he proceeds to do loop-de-loops, barrel rolls, corkscrews, and all manner of fast paced aerial acrobatics.
"Very impressive," responds the cargo pilot. "But that's nothing, watch this." For a half hour the large craft simply plods along straight as an arrow, not even so much as dipping the wings.
After a while, the cargo pilot comes back on the radio and says "So, what'd you think?"
Jock: "What d'you mean? You didn't do anything. You just flew straight for a while."
Cargo: "Oh no, that wasn't all. I got up, stretched my legs, got some coffee, went to the bathroom..."
Woman can't get mating dogs apart
A woman had two dogs that she hadn't had fixed, but always kept them from mating. One night she wakes up at 2 AM to this terrible howling.
She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together and is unable to separate them.
She called her vet ,who answered in a very grumpy voice.
After she explained the problem to him, the vet said, Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his e**... and he will be able to withdraw.
Do you think that will work? she asked.
Just worked for me, he replied.
This has been seen before, but this is my favorite version.
I rear- ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Well, i couldnt believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"
So, I looked down at him and said, " Well, then which one are you?"
And thats how the fight started....
A state trooper pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway
Glancing at the car he was astounded to see that the elderly woman behind the wheel was knitting
The trooper crank down his window and yelled to the driver pull over
No! yelled the woman it's a cardigan
Two packets of crisps are strolling down the street when a car pulls alongside them...
The driver asks if they would like a lift.
The crisps say, "No thanks, we're Walkers."
A man has just finished a trip to the Sea Life Centre, and is finishing up an ice cream on the way back to his car
When getting in to his car, he has a bit of ice cream round his mouth.
A guy parking alongside notices the mans tyres are a little flat and gestures for him to wind his window down.
"Hey man, it looks like you've blown a seal!"
"It's just ice cream, I swear to God!"
Nesta Carter was asked how he felt after winning a gold medal alongside Usain Bolt.
"That was dope!"
We were driving down the road when a koala cut ahead of us and knocked into the car.
We sped up alongside of him and yelled out "Hey, you clipped us."
Was about to sleep when I saw the robber last night in my house searching for money. I immediately got up.
And searched alongside with him.
You can explore alongside adjacent reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean alongside driver dad jokes. There are also alongside puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What do you call it when a black man, a white man, an Asian man and an Indian man are all running alongside each other?
The Human race
Officer pulls up alongside a mans car. Officer: Sir your wife fell out the car about a mile back
Man: Thank you officer! I thought I had gone deaf!
Now that Pokemon Go is a thing alongside waterproof phones..
Someone has probably caught a pikachu in the shower.
New beer at Tesco
Tesco have announced that they will be adding a new beer to their value real ale range.
Alongside the affordable Simply Golden Ale and the inexpensive Simply Dark, they're adding Simply Red, for when money's too tight to mention.
Eggplants are part of the cucumber family alongside tomatoes and zuccinis making them fruits...
And not eggs
