Following is our collection of funny Almond jokes. There are some almond pecan jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these almond lug puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Almond joy.
That's nuts, right?
The almond brothers...
I'll go now
They drive me nuts!
Because nobody would drink it if it was called nut juice.
They are both nuts.
Cause they gotta be nuts, right?
"Nut juice" wasnt very popular.
Crazy cows. They have to be nuts.
No, I do like a few-monds though.
(Courtesy of my 65 year old co-worker)
Almond Joy.
You can explore almond nougat reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean almond toffee dad jokes. There are also almond puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Try keeping a straight face while drinking something called "nut juice".
Diamond
Says the bartender, "Is that an Almond Joy on your head?"
Quoth he, "No, it's a Bounty."
But then my friend said 'that's just nuts.'
Whenever people ask me if I think it's healthier I tell them "Nah, I just got tired of them asking why their picture is on the back of the milk cartons."
Because nut juice just wouldn't be appropriate.
But that's just nuts.
Two almonds walk into a bar. They order 20 tequila shots each.
Bartender says: "What are you guys, nuts?"
Almond oil is made with almonds,
Groundnut oil is made with groundnuts,
Then I surely know what baby oil is.....
Prayers end with almond
Because no one can say "nut juice" with a straight face
My favorite band is the Almond Butters
Because the almonds have tinyyyy nipples
Most people think I'm crazy...
But I think they're nuts!
Cause you can't say Nut Juice with a straight face.
My friend grabbed me by the shoulders, and shook my while exclaiming, "I'm a pecan! I'm a cashew!"
I said "What?"
My friend continued shaking me back and forth and yelling, "I'm a macadamia! I'm an almond!"
I said "Woah dude! You're nuts!"
Total fitness nut.
They're calling it Blue Diamond Fill-Ups
Busting a nut.
It's not like you can extract milk from tiny almond nipples.
Because he had the saltiest nuts in town
and several years from then, when that tree is full grown, you can all eat my nuts.
Cashew outside!
Barber : shoul I massage ur head ?
Me : ok, which oil will u use ?
Barber : Almond Oil is for 250₹
Me : herbal oil ?
Barber: 150₹
Me: Coconut Oil
Barber : 100₹
Me : anything cheaper than this ?
Barber *to his helper* : chhotu, get that barrel of crude oil
You make it nutt.
Because no one would buy it if it was called Nut Juice.
Peanut oil is made by crushing peanuts, coconut oil is made by crushing coconuts.
I really feel horrible about all those babies.
Cuz no one can say nut juice with a straight face....
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the almond acorns jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working almond planters piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.