Allotment Jokes
9 allotment jokes and hilarious allotment puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about allotment that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Uplifting Allotment Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What is a good allotment joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
"I own a small allotment...", So far I'm the only person I've heard laugh at this joke.
I own a small allotment. Every night someone throws soil in on top of in. I've absolutely no idea why.
The plot thickens.
I went to an allotment yesterday to find more soil there than the day before. Today, I went there again and found even more soil..
The plot thickens...
This old man approached me. He said, "I planted some seed somewhere and I can't remember what allotment."
"It's a synonym for 'many'," I replied, "but I can't help you with the first bit."
How many bureaucrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
Thank you for your query. Your number is #204588. We have allotted a timeslot for you at 2-3pm on Tuesday the 28th of November, during which time you will be required to fill out and submit forms 32.B and 44.A from our catalogue. Once these forms have been processed by our team we will begin an investigation into the matter, which will conclude within 4-6 business weeks.
I just want to thank that guy who taught me another word for "distribute"...
It means allot.
A man walked up to me today, looked me in the eyes, and said, Apportion.
I smiled and said, Thank you, that means allot to me.
My grandad says every morning when he measures his allotment it's a couple of inches smaller than the day before.
I think He's slowly losing the plot.
I've heard today that the council intend to build house on the land where my allotment is.
I'm afraid I will loose the plot
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you say to a Hebrew baby?
"Look at Jew! Aren't Jew so cute!"
Punchline best if done in that voice that allot of people do around baby's and animals.
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