Allo Jokes

Check out the best Allo Allo jokes! Enjoy a dose of British comedy and find out why these jokes are so funny. Ready to laugh? Read through some of the funniest Hola-Alle jokes you've ever heard!

Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Allo Jokes and Friends

If you have allowed suicide to ruin your life...

you probably did it wrong.

I was allowed to check my misbehaving child as luggage at the airport so I supposed I'll have to...

...carry on my wayward son.

Why aren't you allowed to smile when taking your driver IDs?

Because you won't be smiling when the cops pull you over.

So I'm not allowed near petting zoos...

.. Or as I prefer to call them, heavy petting zoos.

jokes about allo

I wasn't allowed to bring my board game onto the airplane

They told me the risk was too big.

Why are Nazi's not allowed to work in strip clubs...

Because they don't get on with the Pols

Allowing questions during presentations at the Time Traveller's Conference is murder.

"That will have been covered on a previous slide."

Allo joke, Allowing questions during presentations at the Time Traveller's Conference is murder.

While having an all-out war with underwater warships, I accidentally hit one of my teammates.

Oops wrong sub.

Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in december?

The specific ocean.

I went to an allotment yesterday to find more soil there than the day before. Today, I went there again and found even more soil..

The plot thickens...

I'm not allowed in the Vietnamese sandwich shop anymore.

They decided to banh mi for life.

You can explore allo alle reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean allo cate dad jokes. There are also allo puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why Aren't SJW's Allowed In The Military?

They are too trigger-happy.

A man comes home...

... To his wife repotting cactuses and succulents

"Allo Vera"

I'm allowed to make racist jokes because my Mother in Law is Korean

And she love me long time

Who isn't allowed to watch PG movies?


What is not allowed in the ring, but boxers do every night?

Hit the sack.

Allo joke, What is not allowed in the ring, but boxers do every night?

'You're not allowed to be a hypocrite,' my girlfriend said

'But I am.'

What allowed the B boys to make it in hip hop and drum n bass?

The A men break

I just got an all-organic carbon capture plant for my house.

I just call it "a plant" for short.

Why aren't you allowed to take inventories in afghanistan?

Because of the Tally Ban.

I went to my allotment and found that there was twice as much soil as there was the week before.

The plot thickens...

Are they allowed to put two people in the same grave?

Dont think so, why?

That headstone over there says: "here lies a lawyer and a honest man"

why did the allosaurus visit the OB-GYN?

it had a Yee-st Infection

I'm not allowed to make disparaging remarks about my ex wife...

but I hear the guy who dumped her sister's sister got a fine for littering.

I wasn't allowed to eat dessert tonight til after I masterbated...

Because how can you haveΒ anyΒ puddingΒ if you don't beat your meat?

Why are you not allowed to do calculus intoxicated?

It's illegal to drink and derive.

Allo joke, Why are you not allowed to do calculus intoxicated?

I'm allowed to make fun of poor people…

…because I'm poor.

What do you have to allocate in order to crash a Minecraft server on purpose?

Premeditated Wam.

Why you are not allowed to pet a sick eagle

Because it Will be illeagle

I'm sure my allotment is conspiring against me. Each time that I trim it it grows back twice as harsh..

The plot thickens.

I truly believe everyone is allowed to believe in whatever they want to believe in.

I believe I'll have another glass of wine!

I'm not allowed to dress up as a superhero and visit the children's hospital anymore.

And I put so much work into my Thanos costume.

Are you allowed to count 1, 2, 3, 14?


I'm not allowed in church anymore...

I jerked off to the statues, some of it got in the holy all the babies have harpies.

So I'm allowing myself a day without worry to help with my anxiety disorder

I just started worrying about how this is going for me.

I wasn't allowed to bring a board game in on an airplane.

The Risk was too big.

Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, brown eyes, are wearing blue shorts, have a big brother, are 28 years old and your favourite movie is The Shining?

The Specific Ocean

You are allowed to send e-mails to people in prison

As long as you don't attach a file

Why was O.J. allowed out of jail for thanksgiving?

He was the only one in his family who knows how to carve up white meat.

I wasn't allowed to use any "F" word.

That's how i ended up with " old McDonald had a arm "

You are allowed to have a bad day.

You've given us plenty so keep one for yourself.

You're not allowed to use 'beef-stew' as a password.

It's not stroganoff.

No one is allowed to congregate for funerals; instead people drive by the cemetery and honk their horns in respect. One man drives by blasting Another One Bites The Dust


The family wanted to be mad, but then another car drove by playing the same song, and another one does, and another one does, and another one drives a bus.

Who isn't allowed in zoo's quiz team?

The cheetah

I'm not allowed to share the recipe for the bread we have at the Indian restaurant.

It's a naan disclosure agreement.

Are you allowed to send an email to a friend in prison?

you can do that, but you are not allowed to attach a file.

Is this allowed here?

Stephen Colbert: Are you afraid of artificial intelligence taking over?

Ricky Gervais: I'd love for any intelligence to take over.

Are Christian's allowed to sing Eminem in church?

Or do their Psalms get sweaty?

I was never allowed to see Alien vs. Predator as a kid

The closest I got was watching my uncle rant about immigrants.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the allo linguistic puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working allo allo allo piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes