The Best 39 Alligators Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Alligators jokes. There are some alligators amphibians jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these alligators crocodile puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Alligators Jokes and Puns

Alligator and genitals

A man walks into a bar with an alligator and says I will bet anybody that I can put my genitals into his mouth for 1 minute and take them out unharmed. Everybody put money into this and after 1 min he smashes a beer bottle on the alligators head and pulls his genitals out unharmed and offers anybody else a try. A woman puts up her hand and says "ill give it a try, but you gave to promise not to hit me on the head with a bottle."

Horror at the zoo

A man is at the zoo with his family. Suddenly a flustered employee comes up and says

*Sir, sir! There's been a terrible accident!*

The man responds, *What happened?*

*Your mother-in-law fell into the alligator pool!*

The man, supremely calm, says to the worker, *Not my problem! You try to save those alligators.*

How often do I see alligators?

Ocajunally

Alligators joke, How often do I see alligators?

Did you hear about the Ethiopian man that fell into an alligator pit?

They say he ate 7 alligators before they could drag him out of there.

A mentally ill man visits his doctor

This is a joke I've only heard in Russian, so I did my best to translate it:

A mentally ill man visits his doctor.

While frantically brushing off his arms and torso he says to the physician "You have to help me doc! I'm covered in tiny alligators and crocodiles."

to which the doctor replies "Well then stop throwing them on me!"


It's not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart.

One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later.

A blonde walked into a shoe shop and saw a pair of shoes made from alligator skin that she liked.

How much for these shoes? – she asked the store manager.

$200″ – he replied.

That's too expensive! Can't you bring the price down? – the blonde.

The store manager said he couldn't, and got irratated when the blonde persisted.

Finally after arguing with her for awhile he said, There's a pond with alligators behind the store! Why don't you kill an alligator and get your alligator shoes free?! – he yelled.

Fine. I will. – the blonde replied.

After an hour, the manager got a bit worried that the blonde might have come to harm with the alligators. He decided to go out and check on her.

When he arrived at the pond, he saw the blonde lugging a dead alligator and flinging it on the ground next to 6 other dead ones.

Before he could ask what she was doing, she wailed Oh my gosh! This one doesn't have any shoes either!

Alligators joke, A blonde walked into a shoe shop and saw a pair of shoes made from alligator skin that she liked.

What do you call somebody who is allergic to wearing little alligators on their polo shirt?

Lacoste intolerant.

Two Alligators

So Two Alligators are eating a clown and one says to the other "Hey this taste funny?"

Blonde Walks Into A Shoe Store.

"How much for these shoes?" – she asked the store manager. "$200″ – he replied. "That's too expensive! Can't you bring the price down?" – the blonde. The store manager said he couldn't, and got irritated when the blonde persisted. Finally after arguing with her for awhile he said, "There's a pond with alligators behind the store! Why don't you kill an alligator and get your alligator shoes free?!" – he yelled. "Fine. I will." – the blonde replied. After an hour, the manager got a bit worried that the blonde might have come to harm with the alligators. He decided to go out and check on her. When he arrived at the pond, he saw the blonde lugging a dead alligator and flinging it on the ground next to 6 other dead ones. Before he could ask what she was doing, she wailed "Oh my gosh! This one doesn't have any shoes either!"

Why won't alligators attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy

You can explore alligators gatorade reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean alligators swamp dad jokes. There are also alligators puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A man submitted a joke about alligators with ED to a pun competition...

But it caiman second.

Names for groups of animals

We all know some of the common names: pride of lions, murder of crows, etc. But some aren't so well known:

construction site of cranes
chomp of alligators
giggle of girls
cancer of lawyers

Two alligators were murdered overnight in the swamp

Looks like we need an investagator to find out the culprit.

Why don't alligators use phones?

Because they don't know how to crocodile

What is it called when Alligators break into your house?

Gatorade

Alligators joke, What is it called when Alligators break into your house?

What do you do when life gives you alligators?

Make Gatorade.

An Old Man and His Lake

An old man went down to his lake to clear brush from a recent storm. When he arrived he found 8 beautiful women skinny dipping in the water. Seeing him the women yelled "you get out of here old man. We're staying under the water until you're long gone so you don't see a thing." Quickly the old man replied "I apologize ladies. I'm not here to spy on you. I just came to feed the alligators."

Where do alligators that can't accept the truth go?

Da Nile


I was reading an article that said alligators aren't mating this summer

Scientists blamed it on reptile dysfunction

Two alligators were swimming next to a law firm...

*

On the one hand, I really like petting alligators...

^^^^^there ^^^^^is ^^^^^nothing ^^^^^here.

If two alligators have reach an agreement...

... do they have a crocodeal?

Alligators can live up to 100 years...

Which is why there's an increased chance that they will see you later.

If you're hungover, make sure to help out any alligators you see.

I heard gator-aid will make you feel better.

Alligators can grow up to 20 feet

But most of them only grow four

The #metoo movement has everyone worried about sexual allegations...

But in Florida people are worried about sexual alligators.

What do you call alligators interested in real estate?

A: Invest-igators

My marriage is falling apart and my wife is unhappy because I keep making fun of alligators

So my doctor prescribed my some pills and diagnosed me with "A reptile diss function."

Alligators can grow up to 15 metres...

The joke doesn't work with the metric system...

What kind of help does Alligators offer?

Gatorade

I just read that alligators can grow up to 15 feet

But I haven't seen any with more than 4

What's worse than one alligator coming to dinner?

Two alligators coming to dinner.

So a man says to Steve Irwin How often do alligators mate?

Steve asked: How often do they what?
Man: mate
Steve: what?
Man: HOW OFTEN DO THEY MATE?
Steve: HOW OFTEN DO THEY WHATTTTT????

How come you never hear about gay alligators?

They all died of gatorAIDS

Some Alligators can grow up to 15 feet

but most only have 4.

What do you call a disease sexually transmitted through alligators?

Gatoraids

Did you know alligators can grow up to 22 feet?

But most of the time they just grow 4.

While fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat.

He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.

Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted:

Are there any gators around here?!

No, the man hollered back, they ain't been around for years!

Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy:

How did you get rid of the gators?

We didn't do nothin', the beachcomber said. The sharks got 'em."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the alligators alligator shoes jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working alligators pet alligator piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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