Allies Jokes

33 allies jokes and hilarious allies puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about allies that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Allies Short Jokes

Short allies jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The allies humour may include short alliance jokes also.

  1. TIL that the U.S. almost declared war against Russia by thinking that an allied underwater warship on their radar belonged to Russia... Oops...wrong sub
  2. Some people are named after where they were conceived. For example Brooklyn, Paris... My friend Ally doesn't agree.
  3. Trump is being informed that Biden is getting congratulated on winning by allies domestic and abroad. Trump asks How hot is the broad?
  4. With all the turmoil in the world, the US benefits from its two greatest allies... The Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
  5. Video Games need to start thinking outside the box when it comes to in-game character names... I'm getting real sick and tired of always protecting some girl named Ally.
  6. That moment you realize the French where actually way ahead of their time And allied forces just didn't know what RETWEET meant
  7. Methamphetamine was used widely by both axis and allied soldiers in WW2. Making it the true War On Drugs.
  8. If I were to tell you that we might go to war with friendly countries soon, well... allied.
  9. How I fall asleep People get jealous of me because of how fast I fall asleep so I'm going to share my secret. First of all, ally you have to do is close your ey...
  10. In 1944, a unit of zombie dolphins were deployed by the allies to assist in the invasion of Normandy. They were named the marine corpse

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Allies One Liners

Which allies one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with allies? I can suggest the ones about enemy lines and supporters.

  1. Dele Alli joke This virus gunna have to be quicker than that to catch me.
  2. How did the Allies have time to prepare D-Day? Because Russia was Stalin
  3. You know when I said I didn't know another word for "affiliated"? Allied.
  4. My street looks like a garbage dump... ...litter ally!
  5. In Spider-Man, I always considered Harry's father an ally.. A shame he ended up as Dafoe.
  6. What is the USSRs favourite puppet show? The Allies
  7. How often should you season your food with something a bit spicier? O-cajun-ally.
  8. What do you call a friendly crocodile ? An ally-gator.
  9. What did Muhammad Ali name his son? Alli'son.
  10. WW3 starts... and Germany instantly attacks their ally France out of muscle memory.
  11. What did the Italian Dictator say to those dang Allies? Get off Mi-Lan!
  12. Why was the visually-impared german killed by the allies? Because he was a not-see
  13. The campaign to re-irritate our international allies is called: Make America Grate Again
  14. TIFU By firing a torpedo at an allied U-Boat Whoops wrong sub.
  15. What does the green in the American flag stand for? Being a reliable ally.

Allies joke, What does the green in the American flag stand for?

Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Allies Jokes and Friends

What funny jokes about allies you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mates jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make allies pranks.

America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars...

America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars as the country watched with pride. Iran, wanting to gain a technological/global edge, decided to show up America by announcing a manned mission to the sun the very next day. The Americans, along with other western allies, decided to meet with the Iranian government to express their concern. In a conference room filled with diplomats and astrophysicists, the US delegation protested to the Iranians, Listen. Differences aside, we can't let you send people to the sun. It's s**.... They burn to death even at far distances! Please don't carry out this mission! The Iranians laughed wittily amongst themselves, jabbing each other with elbows and pointing at the westerners as one Iranian says, s**... Americans! They think we're going during the daytime!

The German representative is just about to sign the Treaty of Versailles ending the war.

The Allies representative: "So you take full responsibility for starting the war?"
German representative: "Yes, we take full responsibility for starting World War one"
Allies representative: "one?"

how did h**... feel when the allies entered Berlin?

He was infuhrerated.

Why did the boat maker from France have so many allies?

He was great at building French ships.

Uber teams up with Lyft to fight ride-sharing restrictions in Germany

Deutschland Uber allies was probably a bad choice for the name of the coalition.

Why did Chiang Kai-Shek attack his former communist allies?

Because they didn't get good Marx!

What did h**... say when he heard that the Allies were winning?


During the 20th Century Europe, Russia asks the allies for help in defeating the Germans...

But they kept Stalin.

Why were the Soviets able to beat the Western Allies to Berlin?

Because they were Russian!

Breaking news - The CIA/NSA has decided to stop spying on our European allies...

And will now promise to spy on Americans twice as hard.

Allies joke, Breaking news - The CIA/NSA has decided to stop spying on our European allies...