Unearthly Funniest Allergy Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
Who will survive no nut november the longest?
The people with a severe nut allergy
Beauty and the beast
Belle goes to a petting zoo with her four year old daughter. She bent down to pet a small pony and started coughing from an allergic reaction to the pony's fur. She pulled out a bottle of allergy pills as her strokes on the pony became more and more e**..., eventually causing it to sprout an e**.... A worker came rushing up to her hastily saying "please put that away. There are children here." Belle responded, "oh sorry. I was feeling a little hoarse."
Groin cream...
Not suitable for those with a nut allergy.
What do you call a woman with a latex allergy?
Mom.
what's the most common allergy among gay men?
Heeeeeeyyyy fever.
I have a severe allergy to alcohol
Whenever I drink it I breakout in handcuffs.
How do you kill a guy with a coconut allergy?
You put a bounty on his head.
Life is like a gluten allergy..
It seems like everybody but me has one.
I have a shellfish allergy and I got an allergic reaction to it
So The Fine Brothers sued me
For me, b**... was life-changing...
Turns out I have a major latex allergy
Why do people with a gluten allergy usually make for pretty funny comedians?
Because they always have silly acts.
You can explore allergy allergic reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean allergy sinuses dad jokes. There are also allergy puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What's the worst thing that can happen to a gypsy?
Allergy to copper.
I keep throwing up when I count in French
My doctor thinks I might have a huit allergy
What do you call an Ox with a gluten allergy?
A silly-yak.
Did you hear about the German man who was up to no good?
I heard he has a severe guten allergy.
Un deux t**... quatre cinq six sept ACHOO!
Sorry, I have a wheat allergy.
Depressed people with an allergy to shellfish
They must think the world is their oyster
My friend died during his trip in Germany
Apparently he had an undiagnosed Guten allergy.
What did the spokesperson for the allergy medicine company say during the fire?
This has not Benadryl
It's allergy season. If my nose keeps running,
I'm going to have to buy it new shoes.
How can a Pb & Jelly sandwich make you sick even though you don't have a peanut allergy?
Lead poisoning
Peanut allergy
We just found out my little brother has a peanut allergy, which is very serious I know. But still I feel like my parents are totally overreacting -- they caught me eating a tiny little bag of airline peanuts and they kicked me out of his f**....
A woman is stung by a bee on a golf course
She goes into anaphylactic shock due to an allergy and they take her to a doctor.
"Where was she stung?", asked the doctor.
"Between the first and second hole.",
"Well she may need to work on her stance."
What do you call a Chinese kid with a cat allergy?
Starved.
"Hey bro, so I just got diagnosed with a dairy allergy."
"No whey, man."
Had to fire the web designer from my Allergy Eye Drop business today...
...everything he designed was a site for sore eyes.
Did you hear about the woman who died after giving a b**...?
Apparently she had a nut allergy
It's allergy season upon us, so remember to say "pika" before you sneeze
and if you forget, just say "bacca" after!
"Man, my sinuses are on fire!"
"An allergy?"
"No, a metaphor".
Priests must be super busy during allergy season.
"Bless me Father for I have sneezed"
My friend died from a nut allergy
He gave me this thing called an epipen in his last moments. It was really important to him that I had it.
Yo momma's allergy to nuts is so bad
I teabagged her and she had an asthma attack
Did you hear about the psychologist who's career was ruined by a medical condition?
She had a nut allergy
Doctor: I'm afraid that it was a severe allergy that led to you suffering an anaphylactic shock.
Patient: Enough medical mumbo-jumbo doc. Just give it to me in a nutshell.
I got my cat Kitten Mittens and now he looks like he's got a wicked peanut allergy
He does not like cat shoes
Doctor: "*I have some pressing news...*"
Me: "*Lay it on me Doc*"
Dr: "*I'll put this as lightly as I can, You have a mild blunt-force-trauma allergy*"
Me: "*Well, that hit me like a ton of bricks!*"
Dr: "*Don't let this hold you down...*"
Me: "*I's it congenital - because if it is, my kids'll be crushed*"
I just found out that I'm allergic to red meat...
I just found out that I'm allergic to red meat. No more steaks for me.
——— I've never heard of that. Is that a rare allergy.
No, I can't even have it well done!
I discovered that I an allergy to plant-type Pokemon.
I caught a bulbous sore.
a girl who has an allergy to milk called her aunt
"a girl who has an allergy to milk called her aunt and told her to buy her bread because she's running out of breakfast toast"
she's lack toast and told her aunt
Whenever I ask my friend what the first number in Japanese is, his allergy acts up
He always says, "It's itchy."
Why did the man with the peanut allergy die in prison?
He was sentenced to the nuthouse.
I have a reverse latex allergy.
When I get a swelling I use latex.
I have a friend who can't seem to get her life together. I blame it on her citric acid allergy.
Every time life hands her lemons, she goes into anaphylactic shock.
If you have a cat and seem to be having allergy issues simply wash your cat three times a day
And it will leave
So now I've developed an allergy to honey :(
It brings me out in hives.
I've got an allergy to Pine, Fir, and Cedar. …
All I want for Xmas is Yew.
