The Best 44 Allergy Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Allergy jokes. There are some allergy hives jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these allergy libido puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Allergy Jokes and Puns

Who will survive no nut november the longest?

The people with a severe nut allergy

Beauty and the beast

Belle goes to a petting zoo with her four year old daughter. She bent down to pet a small pony and started coughing from an allergic reaction to the pony's fur. She pulled out a bottle of allergy pills as her strokes on the pony became more and more erotic, eventually causing it to sprout an erection. A worker came rushing up to her hastily saying "please put that away. There are children here." Belle responded, "oh sorry. I was feeling a little hoarse."

Groin cream...

Not suitable for those with a nut allergy.

Allergy joke, Groin cream...

What do you call a woman with a latex allergy?


what's the most common allergy among gay men?

Heeeeeeyyyy fever.

I have a severe allergy to alcohol

Whenever I drink it I breakout in handcuffs.

How do you kill a guy with a coconut allergy?

You put a bounty on his head.

Allergy joke, How do you kill a guy with a coconut allergy?

Life is like a gluten allergy..

It seems like everybody but me has one.

I have a shellfish allergy and I got an allergic reaction to it

So The Fine Brothers sued me

For me, bondage was life-changing...

Turns out I have a major latex allergy

Why do people with a gluten allergy usually make for pretty funny comedians?

Because they always have silly acts.

You can explore allergy allergic reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean allergy sinuses dad jokes. There are also allergy puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What's the worst thing that can happen to a gypsy?

Allergy to copper.

I keep throwing up when I count in French

My doctor thinks I might have a huit allergy

What do you call an Ox with a gluten allergy?

A silly-yak.

Did you hear about the German man who was up to no good?

I heard he has a severe guten allergy.

Un deux trois quatre cinq six sept ACHOO!

Sorry, I have a wheat allergy.

Allergy joke, Un deux trois quatre cinq six sept ACHOO!

Depressed people with an allergy to shellfish

They must think the world is their oyster

My friend died during his trip in Germany

Apparently he had an undiagnosed Guten allergy.

What did the spokesperson for the allergy medicine company say during the fire?

This has not Benadryl

It's allergy season. If my nose keeps running,

I'm going to have to buy it new shoes.

How can a Pb & Jelly sandwich make you sick even though you don't have a peanut allergy?

Lead poisoning

Peanut allergy

We just found out my little brother has a peanut allergy, which is very serious I know. But still I feel like my parents are totally overreacting -- they caught me eating a tiny little bag of airline peanuts and they kicked me out of his funeral.

A woman is stung by a bee on a golf course

She goes into anaphylactic shock due to an allergy and they take her to a doctor.

"Where was she stung?", asked the doctor.

"Between the first and second hole.",

"Well she may need to work on her stance."

What do you call a Chinese kid with a cat allergy?


"Hey bro, so I just got diagnosed with a dairy allergy."

"No whey, man."

Had to fire the web designer from my Allergy Eye Drop business today...

...everything he designed was a site for sore eyes.

Did you hear about the woman who died after giving a blow job?

Apparently she had a nut allergy

It's allergy season upon us, so remember to say "pika" before you sneeze

and if you forget, just say "bacca" after!

"Man, my sinuses are on fire!"

"An allergy?"

"No, a metaphor".

Priests must be super busy during allergy season.

"Bless me Father for I have sneezed"

My friend died from a nut allergy

He gave me this thing called an epipen in his last moments. It was really important to him that I had it.

What do you call a person with a nut allergy?

a Lesbian


After 2 months of dating, i asked my girlfriend why she doesnt go down on me. she told me she had a nut allergy

Yo momma's allergy to nuts is so bad

I teabagged her and she had an asthma attack

Did you hear about the psychologist who's career was ruined by a medical condition?

She had a nut allergy

Doctor: I'm afraid that it was a severe allergy that led to you suffering an anaphylactic shock.

Patient: Enough medical mumbo-jumbo doc. Just give it to me in a nutshell.

I've got an allergy to butts.

It's a glute allergy.

I got my cat Kitten Mittens and now he looks like he's got a wicked peanut allergy

He does not like cat shoes

Doctor: "*I have some pressing news...*"

Me: "*Lay it on me Doc*"

Dr: "*I'll put this as lightly as I can, You have a mild blunt-force-trauma allergy*"

Me: "*Well, that hit me like a ton of bricks!*"

Dr: "*Don't let this hold you down...*"

Me: "*I's it congenital - because if it is, my kids'll be crushed*"

I just found out that I'm allergic to red meat...

I just found out that I'm allergic to red meat. No more steaks for me.

——— I've never heard of that. Is that a rare allergy.

No, I can't even have it well done!

I discovered that I an allergy to plant-type Pokemon.

I caught a bulbous sore.

a girl who has an allergy to milk called her aunt

"a girl who has an allergy to milk called her aunt and told her to buy her bread because she's running out of breakfast toast"

she's lack toast and told her aunt

Whenever I ask my friend what the first number in Japanese is, his allergy acts up

He always says, "It's itchy."

Why did the man with the peanut allergy die in prison?

He was sentenced to the nuthouse.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the allergy hayfever jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working allergy severe piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes