Allergies Jokes

Following is our collection of eczema humor and almond one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Allergies puns for adults, dirty pollen jokes or clean soy gags for kids.

There is an abundance of acorns jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 24 funniest jokes on allergies. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any sneeze witze you can hear about allergies.

The Best jokes about Allergies

What type of chips suffer from allergies?


Conor McGregor doesn't have seasonal allergies.

He just can't handle the Mayweather.

The first rule of Fight Club is...

Just try your best guys, and have fun. Also, when it's your turn to bring snacks be mindful of others' allergies.

Have you heard about the gay bees with allergies?

They come out in hives.

What does a Muslim with allergies say?

Al-achoo Akbar.

I had a customer tonight with allergies [true story]

Rude Customer: Can you just make sure there's no nuts in my food? I can't eat nuts.
Me: Sure! My sister Anna can't eat nuts either. You might know her?
Customer: Oh?
Me: Anna-phallactic?
Customer: Oh.
Me: Just kidding, I don't have a sister.
Customer: Oh?
Me: She died. She ate some nuts and died.

What's up with peanut allergies?

Not that kid's blood pressure

Nobody is more blessed

Then the popes altar boy with allergies

My allergies are acting up and...

The pollen is so bad this year that the trailer park people are changing crystal meth back into Sudafed.

I really wish I could diminish my allergies..

Like, punch a hole right through them. Alas, I don't have any experience putting holes in things.

If only I had Benadryl.


One day a guy decided to go to his favorite bar and grab a few drinks.

Upon walking in the door he sees a man who looks like he's about to get completely hammered as he's surrounded by several pitchers, so he says, "That's of drinks"

The man replies, "I had an allergic reaction."

Curious the first guy says, "What're you allergic to?"


What did the Frenchman with bad allergies say when he had to leave the dinner party?

My sincerest apologies but I bid you all ACHOO.

When people with gluten allergies shave...

They go against the grain.

What's the best place for people with allergies to gamble?

Sneezer's Palace

Here's what I've been thinking...

How can a male have nut allergies?

What do you call a boxer with allergies?

Muhammad Achoo

What do snakes take to combat their allergies?


I read an article that said "there have been no reported glueten allergies in the state of West Virginia"

I thought it was inbred?

Sacha Baron Cohen has released a new film about a man that gets hay fever whenever he goes home.

"Allergies In Da House" is coming soon.

My doc prescibed me an RX for my poison ivy and oak allergies.

I got 99 problems but an itch aint one.

Teacher: "Does anybody have any food allergies"

Carl: "Pollen"

Teacher: "Well, you don't eat pollen, do you?"

Carl: "No ma'am, I'm allergic"

Knowing she has allergies and skin problems, he makes a sandwich for his sister

"So rye ah, sis"

My allergies had me sneezing all day

Feeling blessed

What do Democrats and people with food allergies have in common?

They're both very intolerant.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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