The Best 36 Allergies Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Allergies jokes. There are some allergies almond jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these allergies soy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Allergies Jokes and Puns

Have you heard about the gay bees with allergies?

They come out in hives.


One day a guy decided to go to his favorite bar and grab a few drinks.

Upon walking in the door he sees a man who looks like he's about to get completely hammered as he's surrounded by several pitchers, so he says, "That's of drinks"

The man replies, "I had an allergic reaction."

Curious the first guy says, "What're you allergic to?"


I had a customer tonight with allergies [true story]

Rude Customer: Can you just make sure there's no nuts in my food? I can't eat nuts.
Me: Sure! My sister Anna can't eat nuts either. You might know her?
Customer: Oh?
Me: Anna-phallactic?
Customer: Oh.
Me: Just kidding, I don't have a sister.
Customer: Oh?
Me: She died. She ate some nuts and died.

What do snakes take to combat their allergies?


Mother nature needs to learn how to keep it in her plants

Said everyone with allergies

What's something you should never say to a feminist with allergies?

"Wanna see my nuts?"

When people with gluten allergies shave...

They go against the grain.

Allergies joke, When people with gluten allergies shave...

These fall allergies are on me like the NYPD

'Cause I can't breathe.

Here's what I've been thinking...

How can a male have nut allergies?

A woman is like a delicate, Spring flower...

...I have really bad seasonal allergies, so I just tend to get my fix by looking at pictures of them online.

What does a Muslim with allergies say?

Al-achoo Akbar.

You can explore allergies eczema reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean allergies pollen dad jokes. There are also allergies puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Me and my girlfriend broke up because she's been activating my allergies.

I'm sick of her arguments.

What do you call a boxer with allergies?

Muhammad Achoo

Nobody is more blessed

Then the popes altar boy with allergies

The Complete Book Of Allergies

By P. Nut

Conor McGregor doesn't have seasonal allergies.

He just can't handle the Mayweather.

Allergies joke, Conor McGregor doesn't have seasonal allergies.

What type of chips suffer from allergies?


I read an article that said "there have been no reported glueten allergies in the state of West Virginia"

I thought it was inbred?

What did the Joker say when his spring allergies kicked in?


What's up with peanut allergies?

Not that kid's blood pressure

What's the best place for people with allergies to gamble?

Sneezer's Palace

My doc prescibed me an RX for my poison ivy and oak allergies.

I got 99 problems but an itch aint one.

My allergies had me sneezing all day

Feeling blessed

Knowing she has allergies and skin problems, he makes a sandwich for his sister

"So rye ah, sis"

Sacha Baron Cohen has released a new film about a man that gets hay fever whenever he goes home.

"Allergies In Da House" is coming soon.

What do Democrats and people with food allergies have in common?

They're both very intolerant.

Allergies joke, What do Democrats and people with food allergies have in common?

Teacher: "Does anybody have any food allergies"

Carl: "Pollen"

Teacher: "Well, you don't eat pollen, do you?"

Carl: "No ma'am, I'm allergic"

What did the Frenchman with bad allergies say when he had to leave the dinner party?

My sincerest apologies but I bid you all ACHOO.

The first rule of Fight Club is...

Just try your best guys, and have fun. Also, when it's your turn to bring snacks be mindful of others' allergies.

My allergies are acting up and...

The pollen is so bad this year that the trailer park people are changing crystal meth back into Sudafed.

I really wish I could diminish my allergies..

Like, punch a hole right through them. Alas, I don't have any experience putting holes in things.

If only I had Benadryl.

What do you call an arachnid that constantly complains about its allergies?

Itchy bitchy spider

What do you call the last episode of a show about allergies?

A sneezon finale.

Why do some women with allergies prefer men with E.D.?

Because they are "nut-free"

What do you call a Roman emperor with bad allergies?

Julias Snaesar

What did the retired power tool take for its allergies?


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the allergies acorns jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working allergies sneeze piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes