The Best 40 Allen Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Allen jokes. There are some allen harrison jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these allen woody allen puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Allen Jokes and Puns

I was so surprised at being born that

I didn't speak for a year and a half.

Gracie Allen

Name three things that come in a little yellow box

Kodak film, Dots candy and Woody Allen.

Someone hit my fender so I told them, 'be fruitful and multiply'...

But not exactly in those words. -Woody Allen

Allen joke, Someone hit my fender so I told them, 'be fruitful and multiply'...

A classic Woody Allen stand-up line: the political magazines Commentry and Dissent have decided to merge

They're gonna call the new magazine "Dissentary" ....

Ice Cube visits Edgar Allen Poe

Wakes him up by rapping at his chamber door.

If Barry Allen had a restaurant what would it be called?

Greased lightning?

Two Jewish women are complaining about a restaurant

The first one says 'the food was terrible' the other says 'yes it was and such small portions too' (hat tip Woody Allen)

Allen joke, Two Jewish women are complaining about a restaurant

Now that they're doing away with Flash for videos...

Will Barry Allen have to change his name to The HTML5?

What did the passive aggressive raven say to Edgar Allen Poe?

"...ugh nevermind"

What do a sneeze, a french-dip, and Woody Allen have in common?

Ah Jew!

What do you get when you cross Edgar Allen Poe and an oak?

A sturdy poetry.

You can explore allen dave reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean allen lawrence dad jokes. There are also allen puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Who would be the perfect host of a home improvement show featuring Ikea furniture?

Tim Allen Keys

What do you say to warn Edgar Allen Poe about the tree he's about to walk into?


How does Rick Allen (Def Leppard drummer) count in a 4 beat?

*opens mouth, taps cheeks 4 times*

What did the son say at Allen Ginsberg's funeral?

There's my dead beat dad.

Roll call on the first day of school in London, England....

Ahmed Al Sheriah ............................."Here."

Mustafa Al Sheriah ............................"Here."

Fatima El Bindihiri ............................."Here."

Ali Acmah Shabeeb ............................."Here."

Ali Sun Al En ..........................No answer.

Ali Sun Al En?

A little girl at the back stands up and yells .... "It's pronounced Alison Allen, for Christ's sake!"

Allen joke, Roll call on the first day of school in London, England....

There has been a lot of talk that it would be a lot healthier for the church if Priests were allowed to be married.

I feel that if a Priest meets another Priest and they like one another, sure they should be allowed to get married.


Credit to the comedian - Dave Allen

Edgar Allen Poe is about to walk into a tree and you only have enough time to say one word before he hits it. What should you say to him?


I wrote a silly comment about Poe's Law being named after Edgar Allen Poe

but for some reason people thought I was serious.

What happens to Edgar Allen Poe's house during winter?

It Frosts over before you sleep and Frosts over before you sleep.

Ingvar kamprad ,the founder of ikea has died

His coffin will be a flat pack with an Allen key

Ingar Kamprad, the founder of IKEA has passed away

- flat pack coffins

- Allen key

- left over parts

- missing screws

This joke needs some assembly

I've always wanted to have sex with Barry Allen... gives a new meaning to "greased lightning."

Who is the fastest cow alive?

Dairy Allen, because he's pasteurized before you see him.

What do you call it when Edgar Allen Poe hosts an indoor strobe party?

A Rave-in

I like my cartoons like Woody Allen likes his women...

Barely legal and asian.

What is the best PR for Dolphins?

Brock Allen Turner

What did the allen wrench say to the IKEA furniture?

Screw you!

What do you call it when Barry Allen rapes someone?

A Flashbang


What you say when Edgar Allen is about to run into a tree.

Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen died today

Unfortunately ctrl-alt-delete will not bring him back to life.

I am sorry RIP Paul Allen.

I love a person with autism.

It's not you Allen.

Barry Allen (the Flash) wanted to have an herb garden, but decided against it.

I mean, he really shouldn't be travelling through thyme...

What would Barry Allen be called if his speed was a result of fart propulsion?

The Flatch

What do you get when you cross Barry Allen and a trench coat?

The Flash.

What is it called when Barry Allen commandeers a car.

A Flash Drive.

I think it's weird that county fairs are being cancelled.

Don't get me wrong, I think it's a *good* idea, but... I just figured that anyone who isn't afraid to hop onto a 60-year-old rusty roller coaster, that gets disassembled and reassembled 22 times a year by a traveling meth head with an allen wrench, while eating a deep fried stick of butter, wouldn't give a crap about Covid.

Edgar Allen Poe wrote a story about nasty cars in disguise.

The mask of a cunty auto.

A gem from the YouTube comment section

"This watch has tremendous sentimental value to me. My father sold it to me on his deathbed." -Woody Allen

Committee, n.:

A group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done. -- Fred Allen

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the allen dave allen jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working allen edgar allen poe piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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