Allah Jokes

This article features funny, yet respectful Allah jokes - often called allahu jokes - that you can share with friends and family. These jokes range from poking allah jokes to muhammed jokes to even pokemongo jokes! Read on to find out more!

Cheerful Fun Allah Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy

How do Muslims order their hashbrowns?

Allah Carte

What's a Muslim's favorite answer on a test?

Allah the above.

Did you hear about that new space mosque?

It's Allah this world!

Why don't Muslims fill out online forms?

Because they refuse to Submit to anyone but Allah.

jokes about allah

How many Jihadists does it take to change a light bulb?

Allah them.

(I googled several varations and thus far I believe I am the originator)

A Muslim and a Catholic priest walk into a bar.

The two start talking casually about their respective religions. The Muslim says, "I believe that when I die, Allah will bless me with 72 virgins."

The priest's eyes get wide. "Really? That would be awesome, but unfortunately the church can only have 3 altar boys at a time."

What do you call a Halal pie?

Allah mode.

Allah joke, What do you call a Halal pie?

What did the terrorist say when he woke up?

It was Allah dream.

If I were an Islamic hip hop artist..

My name would be Allah Hotbarz

What's a Muslim's favorite dessert?

Pie Allah mode

What do you call a large alaskan animal that worships Allah?

A Mooselem

You can explore allah pokemongo reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean allah muhammad dad jokes. There are also allah puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do you call it when you study the Quran while eating a scoop of vanilla ice cream?

Allah mode

how did the Imam order his dessert?

Allah mode

How do Muslims like their food served?

Allah Carte

What is a terrorists favorite snack?

An Allah Ak-bar

How do terrorists like their apple pie?

Allah mode.

Allah joke, How do terrorists like their apple pie?

Where do Jihadists get their snacks?

At the Allah hu snackbar.

One jihadist said to another, "How many infidels do we kill?"

He answered, "Allah them"

What does a Muslim train conductor say before he starts his train?


How do you order food at a Muslim restaurant?

Allah carte.

How many Muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Allah them

What do terrorists eat?

Allah snack bar.

They say its the bomb!

Prayers for dealing with the stress of modern life

The first one is a prayer you say in the bus/train in the morning when you can't find a seat.
I always find if I pray loud enough to Allah, I get the train to myself.

What Did The Muslim Terminator Say?

Allah Be Back.

What's a Muslim's favorite place to grab a snack?

Allah carte

Once a terrorist blows himself

After reaching Allah's gate he asks for his 72 virgins

Allah replies" You misunderstood me my son,there is only one Virgin and she is 72 Years old"

Allah joke, Once a terrorist blows himself

How many Muslims were banned?

How many Muslims were banned?

Allah them.

Why did the muslim guy rig a competition?

So he could win Allah the prizes.

When you lose your kid at the mall

and his name is "allah akbur"

How did the Muslim enjoy her dessert?

Allah Mode

What do you call a terrorist with a scoop of vanilla ice cream?

Allah mode.

What do you call a candy store run by Isis?

The Allah Snackbar

Why did the Muslim only order a side of french fries?

Because he prefers his food Allah carte.

You stupid idiots; I said cover your faeces

-- Love from Allah.

I decided I'm going to open a bar for Muslim Rock Bands to play at...

I'm going to call it...

Allah Hu-Rock Bar

A Muslim father catches his son masturbating. He says, "Don't do that my son, or Allah will strike you blind."

The child says, "Abu, I'm over here."

What did the Muslim do when he went to the restaurant?

He ordered Allah Carte.

Where does ISIS eat?

At the Allah u can eat salad Akbar.

Is Allahu Akbar a good pickup line?

From what I hear, it's always getting guys blown.

I aced the convert-to-Islam test today.

I answered "allah the above"

Jokes about 9/11 are just plane wrong

Ill give you all a crash course later. There's allah to talk about.

What kind of suicide bomber stops at a stop sign?

Allah abiding one.

What do you call a cow that believes in Allah?

a Moo-slim

Why did the muslim man eat grass clippings?

It was grass Allah mowed

How many people did the Islamic suicide bomber intend to kill?

Allah them.

I really believe that Allah is the one true god

I mean the universe started with an explosion didnt it?

Why did the masturbating Muslim praise Allah?

He was hoping for a goat-send.

Remember that game Muhammad was talking about?

Say five allah akbars with the lights off and get arrested.

Hey girl are you Muslim?

Because you're about to pray to Allah deez nuts

Game night

God and Jesus had a game night and suddenly the bell rang. Jesus went to open it and at the door was Allah. Jesus took a long look at him and shouted "Dad, did you order pizza?"

After years of debate, it turns out Allah is actually the one true God.

After all, the universe began with an explosion.

Maybe Allah is the real god.

I mean, the universe did start off with a boom.

Allah must be the only God in the universe

I mean, Earth was created with a Big Bang

Allah is definitely the true god...

Because the universe was made by an explosion

When you think about it, Allah is probably the one true god...

the universe did start with an explosion

Why "Allah" is the true God

The universe started with an explosion

Allau Akbar

A Muslim suicide bomber walks into a crowd of infidels and blows himself up.

He is immediately transported to Paradise, where he finds himself surrounded by seventy-two of the ugliest women anyone has ever laid eyes upon. The suicide bomber is crestfallen.

"C'mon, think it through," Allah pats him sympathetically on the shoulder. "Why do you think they're still virgins?"

Name your kid Allah Akbar

Then lose him in the mall

My buddy and I have a picture of the Islamic God on the smart card inside our mobile phones.

We're very SIM Allah.

A long time ago, in the middle east

There was a town where everyone worshipped many gods. But one day, a young boy arrived from afar, claiming to be a prophet sent by Allah. He told them to convert to Islam, or else they would receive divine punishment.

Naturally, the townspeople rejected his words, and they executed him in public. Mere days later, a mysterious disease swept through the town and killed every last one of them.

They should have obeyed the Quran teen.

A Christian,Muslim and Hindu had a fight on a plane

It was decided they would all try to make other passenger stand by chanting their spiritual words. The person who made most people stand up is the winner.
There were 40 passengers on board

Christian : Bless us Jesus Christ
5 passengers stand up

Hindu : Jai Mata Di
3 passengers stand up

Muslim : Allah hu Akbar
37 passengers Stand Up.
And jumped out of the plane.

Not for you

A Christian Armenian man walking by the border of Armenia and Iran sees a few Iranian men pushing a car stuck in a ditch. Every time the Iranian men push they yell allah akbar! 1.. 2... 3... Allah akbarrr! As the Armenian man joins in pushing the car, the Iranians are surprised to hear the Christian man also yell allah akbar. One Iranian man says allah is our god not yours, why do you call on his name? The Armenian man replies "I'm not going to work my god for your ass"

I am pretty sure allah is the only god

After all, the universe did start with a big explosion.

What do you call a religious crocodile?

An Allah Gator!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the allah mohammad puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working allah god piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes