Allah Jokes

98 allah jokes and hilarious allah puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about allah that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article features funny, yet respectful Allah jokes - often called allahu jokes - that you can share with friends and family. These jokes range from poking allah jokes to muhammed jokes to even pokemongo jokes! Read on to find out more!

Quick Jump To

jokes about allah

Best Short Allah Jokes

Short allah puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The allah humour may include short imam jokes also.

  1. How many Jihadists does it take to change a light bulb? Allah them.

    (I googled several varations and thus far I believe I am the originator)
  2. Why don't Muslims fill out online forms? Because they refuse to Submit to anyone but Allah.
  3. You can't just pick and choose which tenets of Islam you uphold. There's no Allah-carte option.
  4. My buddy and I have a picture of the Islamic God on the smart card inside our mobile phones. We're very SIM Allah.
  5. What do you call a candy store run by Isis? The Allah Snackbar
  6. What Does A Muslim Train Conductor Say Allah-Board!
  7. Hey girl are you Muslim? Because you're about to pray to Allah deez nuts
  8. Why did the Muslim only order a side of french fries? Because he prefers his food Allah carte.
  9. Where do Jihadists get their snacks? At the Allah hu snackbar.
  10. How many Muslims were banned? How many Muslims were banned?
    Allah them.
Allah joke, How many Muslims were banned?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about allah can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of allah puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Share Jokes With Friends

Allah One Liners

Which allah one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with allah? I can suggest the ones about extremist and almighty.

  1. What does a Muslim train conductor say before he starts his train? ALLAH BOARD!
  2. What's a Muslim's favorite answer on a test? Allah the above.
  3. How do you order food at a Muslim restaurant? Allah carte.
  4. How many Muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Allah them
  5. What do you call a religious crocodile? An Allah Gator!
  6. One jihadist said to another, "How many infidels do we kill?" He answered, "Allah them"
  7. I stumbled upon an Islamic Fortnite Youtuber... His name was Allah-A
  8. How do terrorists like their apple pie? Allah mode.
  9. How do Muslims like their food served? Allah Carte
  10. how did the Imam order his dessert? Allah mode
  11. What's the Islamic equivalent of cafeteria Christianity? Allah-cart.
  12. What Did The Muslim Terminator Say? Allah Be Back.
  13. How do Muslims order their hashbrowns? Allah Carte
  14. I aced the convert-to-Islam test today. I answered "allah the above"
  15. Name your kid Allah Akbar Then lose him in the mall

God Allah Jokes

Here is a list of funny god allah jokes and even better god allah puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Allah must be the only God in the universe I mean, Earth was created with a Big Bang
  • Game night God and Jesus had a game night and suddenly the bell rang. Jesus went to open it and at the door was Allah. Jesus took a long look at him and shouted "Dad, did you order pizza?"
  • Maybe Allah is the real god. I mean, the universe did start off with a boom.
  • What dinosaur is also the Muslim god? The Allah-saurus.
  • I am pretty sure allah is the only god After all, the universe did start with a big e**....
  • After years of debate, it turns out Allah is actually the one true God. After all, the universe began with an e**....
  • I really believe that Allah is the one true god I mean the universe started with an e**... didnt it?
  • I really do believe Allah is the one true god I mean the universe was created by an e**... wasn't it?
  • Proof that Allah is the true God because the universe started with an e**...
  • Why "Allah" is the true God The universe started with an e**...
    Allau Akbar
Allah joke, Why "Allah" is the true God

Cheerful Fun Allah Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy

What funny jokes about allah you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean infidel jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make allah prank.

Did you hear about that new space mosque?

It's Allah this world!

A Muslim and a Catholic priest walk into a bar.

The two start talking casually about their respective religions. The Muslim says, "I believe that when I die, Allah will bless me with 72 virgins."
The priest's eyes get wide. "Really? That would be awesome, but unfortunately the church can only have 3 altar boys at a time."

The Walk

I went to a mixed religion seminar.
The Christian Priest came, laid his hands on my hand and said, By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!
I smiled and told him I was not paralysed.
The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today!
I was less amused when I told him there was nothing wrong with me.
The Mullah came, took my hands and said, Insha Allah, you will walk today!
I snapped at him, There's nothing wrong with me
The Buddhist Monk came, held my hands and said, By the will of The Great Buddha, you will walk today!
I rudely told him there was nothing wrong with me.
After the sermons, I stepped outside and found my car had been stolen.

Why couldn't the Dukes of Hazard visit Mecca?

Because that's just a little bit more than Allah will allow.

What do you call a halal pie?

Allah mode.

What did the t**... say when he woke up?

It was Allah dream.

If I were an Islamic hip hop artist..

My name would be Allah Hotbarz

What's a Muslim's favorite dessert?

Pie Allah mode

What do you call a large alaskan animal that worships Allah?

A Mooselem

What do you call it when you study the Quran while eating a scoop of vanilla ice cream?

Allah mode

What screams "Allah Akbar" and then smashes your crockery to pieces?

A Daesh washer.

What is a terrorists favorite snack?

An Allah Ak-bar

What do terrorists eat?

Allah snack bar.
They say its the bomb!

Prayers for dealing with the stress of modern life

The first one is a prayer you say in the bus/train in the morning when you can't find a seat.
I always find if I pray loud enough to Allah, I get the train to myself.

What does an Islamic magician say?


What's a Muslim's favorite place to grab a snack?

Allah carte

Once a t**... blows himself

After reaching Allah's gate he asks for his 72 virgins
Allah replies" You misunderstood me my son,there is only one v**... and she is 72 Years old"

Why did the muslim guy rig a competition?

So he could win Allah the prizes.

When you lose your kid at the mall

and his name is "allah akbur"

How did the Muslim enjoy her dessert?

Allah Mode

What do you call a t**... with a scoop of vanilla ice cream?

Allah mode.

You s**... idiots; I said cover your f**...

-- Love from Allah.

I decided I'm going to open a bar for Muslim Rock Bands to play at...

I'm going to call it...
Allah Hu-Rock Bar

A Muslim father catches his son m**.... He says, "Don't do that my son, or Allah will strike you blind."

The child says, "Abu, I'm over here."

What did the Muslim do when he went to the restaurant?

He ordered Allah Carte.

Where does ISIS eat?

At the Allah u can eat salad Akbar.

Is Allahu Akbar a good pickup line?

From what I hear, it's always getting guys blown.

Jokes about 9/11 are just plane wrong

Ill give you all a c**... course later. There's allah to talk about.

What kind of s**... bomber stops at a stop sign?

Allah abiding one.

What do you call a cow that believes in Allah?

a Moo-slim

Why did the muslim man eat grass clippings?

It was grass Allah mowed

How many people did the Islamic s**... bomber intend to kill?

Allah them.

Why did the m**... Muslim praise Allah?

He was hoping for a goat-send.

Remember that game Muhammad was talking about?

Say five allah akbars with the lights off and get arrested.

Allah is definitely the true god...

Because the universe was made by an e**...

When you think about it, Allah is probably the one true god...

the universe did start with an e**...

What did Allah say after he created the world?

Wow, that blew up fast.

My name is Jafar(edgy)

My name is Jafar
I come from afar
I have a bomb in my car
Allah akbar

A Muslim s**... bomber walks into a crowd of infidels and blows himself up.

He is immediately transported to Paradise, where he finds himself surrounded by seventy-two of the ugliest women anyone has ever laid eyes upon. The s**... bomber is crestfallen.
"C'mon, think it through," Allah pats him sympathetically on the shoulder. "Why do you think they're still virgins?"

Muslim, Christian and a Buddhist

A Muslim a Christian and a Buddhist argue about which god is real, so they decide to jump of a cliff and prove the other wrong.
The Christian goes first.
On his way down he says " Jesus Jesus Jesus " and dies on impact
The Buddhist goes second.
On his way down he says " Buddha Buddha Buddha" and floats right before he hits the ground, he is left unscratched.
The Muslim with full confidence jumps after the Buddhist.
On his way down he says "Allah Allah "and then midway screams "BUDDHA BUDDHA BUDDHA "

A long time ago, in the middle east

There was a town where everyone worshipped many gods. But one day, a young boy arrived from afar, claiming to be a prophet sent by Allah. He told them to convert to Islam, or else they would receive divine punishment.
Naturally, the townspeople rejected his words, and they executed him in public. Mere days later, a mysterious disease swept through the town and killed every last one of them.
They should have obeyed the Quran teen.

A Christian,Muslim and Hindu had a fight on a plane

It was decided they would all try to make other passenger stand by chanting their spiritual words. The person who made most people stand up is the winner.
There were 40 passengers on board
Christian : Bless us Jesus Christ
5 passengers stand up
Hindu : Jai Mata Di
3 passengers stand up
Muslim : Allah hu Akbar
37 passengers Stand Up.
And jumped out of the plane.

A Christian, Hindu, Muslim had a fight on the plane.

They had a fight about whose religion is most powerful.
It was decided they would all try to make other passengers stand by chanting their spiritual words. The person who made most people stand 'UP' is the winner. There were 40 passengers on board.
Christian said: "Bless us, Jesus Christ". 5 passengers stand up.
Hindu said: "Jai Mata Di ". 3 passengers stand up
At last, Muslim said: " Allah hu Akbar" .37 passengers Stand Up. . . . . . And jumped out of the plane.

Not for you

A Christian Armenian man walking by the border of Armenia and Iran sees a few Iranian men pushing a car stuck in a ditch. Every time the Iranian men push they yell allah akbar! 1.. 2... 3... Allah akbarrr! As the Armenian man joins in pushing the car, the Iranians are surprised to hear the Christian man also yell allah akbar. One Iranian man says allah is our god not yours, why do you call on his name? The Armenian man replies "I'm not going to work my god for your a**..."

A Christian, Buddhist and Muslim had a bet whose God is real

So they decided to climb on a 50 store building, jump and see who'll survive.
First goes the Muslim, he jumps and starts praying "Allah Allah Allah Allah" and he died
Next one was a Buddhist, he jump and started saying "Buddha Buddha Buddha Buddha" and he survived
So in the end the Christian jumped and started praying "Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus"
After 10 floors even more "Jesus Jesus"
After 30 floors "Jesus Jesus"
Last 20 floors "Buddha Buddha Buddha"

Allah joke, A Christian, Buddhist and Muslim had a bet whose God is real

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these allah jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.