All Champion Jokes

Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet?
A: The 1863 Blonde Hide-and-Seek champion!

In reality, only Chuck Norris is allowed to sing "We are the Champions".
He has no time for losers.
He will rock you.

Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.

How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion?
It had a lot of hare pins.

Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris.
He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.

One day there was a tortoise walking on the road.
Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race.
The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race.
The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge.
It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line.
So the tortoise is still the champion of the race.
So remember this you snooze you loose!

Champions eat Wheaties for breakfast.
Chuck Norris eats Champions for breakfast.

Hide a seek champion...
;
Since 1958

You're so poor,

your neighborhood just received a box full of 49ers Superbowl champions t shirts.

Shakhter Karagandy (Celtic's Champions League opponents)

Apparently they've been given permission for their pre-match tradition of sacrificing a sheep, I'd like to see them progress given Celtic's pre-match tradition of sacrificing a Mars bar.

I met a guy recently who was a really good runner, but could only win races in wet weather.

They call him the Raining Champion.

Old man Johnson and his world-champion pole vaulting neighbor are really one in the same...

They both grip their sticks and try to get it up.

I'll bet you $100 i can name the 2014 Super Bowl Champions!

My dad is the hide n seek champion

He has been hiding in the closet for years

Why can't there be a League of Legend's team of 5 Lucians?

Because you can't have a team with only 3 champions.

I once had dinner with world chess champion Garry Kasporov...

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

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Which 4 champions in League of Legends does a tumble gamer hates?

Who wins between a n**... guy and a fencing champion?

n**... guy, because pen is mightier than sword

What was the name of the pakistani hide and seek champion ?

'amhid'

These are my reigning champion two-liners.

What do you call a kingdom with a lock?
Gate Britan.
.
What do you call an opinionated island?
View Zealand.

Handball :)

Germany is now the handball European champion.
But it seems it was the easiest win in Poland since 1939 for a german team.

what's green and lives in the cupboard??

last year's hide and go seek champion

The team that finished first in the local boat race were allowed to keep their boat.

Scenes of celebration broke out when they realized they had won the champion ship.

I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion)

I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

I told my wife she should call me a champion bullrider...

Because I consistently last 8 seconds riding a horned animal.

What happens when you cross a grown kitten, a donkey, and a champion?

A cat-a**...-trophy.

What do Anne Frank and Bin Laden have in common?

They're both hide and seek champions!

What do you call the UN translator who quit his job to pursue his dream of becoming a hot dog eating champion?

A cunning linguist who became a professional masticator.

Dead Blonde

What do you call a dead Blonde in a closet?
1987 hide-n-go-seek champion.

What would Ashley Tisdale have to do to become a boxing champion?

Bop bop bop, bop to the top

When was the last time the Indians were the champions?

Before Columbus came.

I have a boat that beats all other boats in races...

... It's a champion ship.

What's the difference between a champion horse and a very tasty baguette?

One's wellbred, the other is good bread.

A farmer had a champion bull that bred 200 times a year.

His wife said "200 times? isn't that wonderful dear? maybe you ought to watch him, maybe he show you how."
the farmer said " oh he's a heck of a bull, but it wasn't all with the same cow.

[LPT] Choose the song you hate the most as your alarm tone and place your phone as far as possible

Then turn your phone off and sleep like a champion.

My wife recently won the Annual Women's Golf Meet in our district

Needless to say, I have started calling her the "i**... Champion of the County "

Hey girl, are you a cage match with heavyweight champion Manny Pacquiao?

Cause I'd last 10 seconds inside you but I'd still brag about it for the rest of my life.

Undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the World!

...If it's undisputed, what's all the fighting about?

TIL that knitting ex champion Teresa Keller lost her title in 2011 just because she was kitting with a slightly different color.

Oops wrong thread.

What's another name for skeletons in the closet?

Hide and seek champions.

How did my son win a Turban at school today?

He was the champion of Hide and go Sikh

What do you call Penguins that whistle quickly?

Stanley Cup Champions

How does the chess champion of the world pay his bill?

He gets his checkMATE
... :D

Where do the American Olympic cross country champions come from?

Mexico

The Heavy Weight World Champion belt will no longer be fashioned to look like a large watch.

They realized it was just a huge waist of time.

A limbo champion walks into a bar

Instant disqualification.

There was a man who became the karate champion on Christmas Day...

So he decided to go by the name, "The nutcracker."

I've often wondered what my personal life would be lacking if I'd keep training and become a champion marksman…

…but I realised I wouldn't miss much
(Thought on this driving and wanted to share)

Did anybody hear about the karate champion who joined the army?

It was a disaster!
The first time he tried to salute, he nearly killed himself

Former champion Mike Tyson is opening a m**... farm...

Now everyone can say they took a hit from Tyson!

Why did the air guitar champion not play at the finals?

His guitar was stolen.

Senator Tim Kaine is basically an overwatch champion.

even CNN refers to him as D-VA

A baker gets caught stealing from the reigning champion the night before the Big Bake-off.

If you want to win, sometimes you got to take a whisk.

A blind man walks into a bar...

A blind man walks into a bar, without know its a lesbian bar, and says to the bartender:
"I have the world's best blonde joke. You wanna hear it?"
The bartender says "Hey, just so you know, I'm the world champion in wrestling. The girl next to you is the world champion in taekwondo and that girl over there is the world champion in kickboxing, and we're all blonde. Are you sure you still want to tell that joke?"
The guy replies "Haha, no thanks. I don't really feel like explaining the joke three times over."

My Russian dad told me to eat the breakfast of champions.....

......so I took a bunch of Steroids

Name the Canadian Self-motivating Breakfast of Champions

"Sort yourselves Oats"

Darts champion Eric Bristow has died.

At the age of triple twenty.

If anyone's interested, my buddy has tickets for Champions League Final match (26th of May) in Kiev, Ukraine

He bought the tickets, but the d**... fool forgot he was getting married that weekend. Anyone up for taking this off his hands?

The girl's name is Catherine and she's really lovely.

I'm the undefeated champion of water fights in my neighbourhood.

Nothing beats the kettle

I am so proud of my dad

he is the undisputed hide and seek champion.

The real hero of Champions League is Make A Wish Foundation

who made a young r**... man's dream come true so he could be a goalkeeper at the finals.

I watched Liverpool in the Champions League Final on YouTube on Friday night.

I thought YouTube only done funnies, Boy did they they come up with the goods that night. Funniest thing I have ever seen.

Champions don't choke

Hence why you can never really blow your way to the top.

The world tongue twister champion was killed today in a tragic accident.

He was run over by a red lorry. Then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry

If you wanna win the Champions League, always remember to brush your teeth

Else you'll get Karius.

Kids in Hawaii are tough. Some say they are the toughest kids in the USA.

Their play time is deadly serious. They are the world champions in 'The floor is lava'.

My wife says I'm like an Olympic champion in bed.

For some reason, though, she wishes I won silver medal every now and then.