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All Caps Jokes

138 all caps jokes and hilarious all caps puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about all caps that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest All Caps Short Jokes

Short all caps jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The all caps humour may include short capital letters jokes also.

  1. Did you know that you can fit any boat on your head like a hat, if you flip it over? That makes it cap sized
  2. Did you know you can wear any boat as a hat? You just have to turn it upside down to make it cap sized.
  3. Trump says he'll put a cap on immigrants coming into the US—I don't approve. Immigrants should be allowed to wear what they like.
  4. I bought a new deodorant yesterday. The instructions say "Remove cap and push up bottom." Wouldn't it be better to put it under your arms?
  5. My Uncle said this now that there are two popes Two popes walk into a bar with Yankee caps on.
    The bartender says, "Didn't you guys use to be Cardinals?"
  6. My grandma had a scare when she felt a lump under her breast Turns out it was just her knee cap
  7. I got stopped by a woman cop with "LAPD" on her cap I said, where's your colleague with "ANCE" on hers?
  8. I went to the dentist to put all caps on my teeth... ...now I can't help but shout every time I talk.
  9. Just bought a new deodorant... The instructions say 'remove cap and push up bottom.'
    ...which helps with the smell, admittedly, but hurts a lot!
  10. A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder... He orders a beer.
    Popping off the cap, the bartender says Wow! Where did you get that?
    The parrot replies, Africa.

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All Caps One Liners

Which all caps one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with all caps? I can suggest the ones about capitalization and capital letter.

  1. What do prison and the Caps Lock button have in common? They both turn o into an O .
  2. Why does Superman have a lower case "s" on his chest? Because not all heroes wear caps.
  3. What is the similarity between Caps Lock and prison? They both turn "o" into "O".
  4. Why couldnt the laptop take off his hat? He had caps lock on.
  5. Who is Cap'n Crunch's superior Officer? General Mills
  6. How do snowmen keep their heads warm during the winter solstice? They wear "ice" caps!
  7. What does a barista wear? A cap and chinos.
  8. IF I SCAM SOMEONE WITH CAPS LOCK ON.. IS IT A CAPITAL CRIME?
  9. Why don't Korean captains wear hats? Because they don't know what to do with cap sizes.
  10. Did you know you can turn a canoe over and use it as a hat? Because it's Cap-sized.
  11. Al Pacino's brother is steaming that his parents... named him Cap.
  12. How big was the iceberg that sank the Titanic? Cap size
  13. Did you know when you flip a canoe over you can wear it as a hat? It's cap-sized
  14. What does caps lock and prison have in common? They both turn "o" into "O".
  15. Why couldn't the computer take it's hat off? Because caps lock was on.

All Caps Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about all caps you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean no cap jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make all caps pranks.

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his c**.... A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a s**... lady, the hat would lift by itself."

It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father.
"Let’s try to make this look natural" she said. "Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder."
The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?"

Dave and John are playing a round of golf...

Dave is lining up his put on the 8th green when they hear a car coming along the road that runs parallel to the course. Upon seeing a hearse, Dave stands away from his ball, takes his cap off and bows his head until it passes.
"That was very decent of you Dave."
"Yea, she was a good wife."

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course...

One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long f**... procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.
The man then replies: Yeah, well we were married 35 years.

Two men playing golf (a favourite of mine)

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long f**... procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."
The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."

What's the difference between a t**... and a pirate's dad?

One's poppin' caps, and the other's cap'n pops!

A Polish joke

A Polish man named Wojciech was fed up with being called a dumb p**... by every one he met. So one day he decided to pretend to be German. Wearing Liederhosen, knee socks and a feathered cap, he walked into a shop and told the man behind the counter:
"Hello my name is Rolf and I would like to buy some schnitzel, some saurbraten, some pretzels and some beer."
The counterman said "Get outta here you dumb p**...!".
Wojciech cried, "No no no! I am German! Don't you see my Liederhosen? Why do you think I am Polish?"
The counterman says "This is a hardware store."

Two men are playing golf near a country road...

When they see a f**... procession go by. One of them stops playing, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The other says "thats very decent of you, to stop playing and pay your respects." The first one responds "Well I'd think so; we were married for 52 years."

A joke about golfers.

Two men were playing golf one afternoon when just as they are about to play an important putt on the final hole for the match a large f**... procession passes by on the road at the side of the golf course. One of the men stops in mid putt, removes his cap, bows his head in prayer. The second man retorts "Woah man, that was really respectful". "Well, we had been married for over 25 years" said the other man.

People that type in all caps are...

Capitalists.

Today it's National t**... Cap Day

Hats off to whoever founded it.

So a Hipster goes into an auto parts store and asks for a fuel cap for his Smart Car.

The sales guy thinks for a moment and says, Yeah, O.K. that is a fair swap.

What did the man in the wheelchair say when he returned the hat he borrowed?

Thanks for the handy cap.

I bought a new deodorant today.

The instructions said "open cap and push up bottom". Now I can't walk but my farts smell awesome.

What do you call someone from Zimbabwe holding a bottle cap in their hand?

A trillionaire.

What's the most useful type of hat?

A handy-cap

Ironically

Caps 'Lock' is a 'Key'.

Republicans were just informed about the effects of Global Warming on the polar ice caps

They're losing their cool!

Why are people so worried about Hurricane Matthew's wind speeds?

I thought CAT4 was capped at 16Mbps.

Why don't witches wear a flat cap?

There's no point to it

Two men are golfing at a local golf course

The first man is about to putt when he sees a long f**... procession right near the course. He stops mid-putt, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in prayer.
The second man is in awe. "Wow, that is the most touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."
The man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married for 35 years."

Police officer to a driver: OK, driver's license, vehicle license, first aid kit and warning triangle.

Driver: Nah, I've already got all that. But how much for that funny Captain's cap?"

I had this problem where the cap wouldn't stay on my whiskey bottle.

So I fixed it with scotch tape.

What do Caps Lock and prison have in common?

A minor touch and you get capital punishment.

Just got a petrol cap for my Skoda...

...seemed like a good trade.

Two men are playing golf. One of them is about to take a swing when a f**... procession appears on the road next to the course. He stops mid-swing, takes off his cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in respect.

His golfing buddy says "That must be the most touching thing I've ever seen. You are a very compassionate and kind man."
The man, recovering himself, replies, "Yeah, well we were married 25 years."

Two men were playing golf when a f**... procession walked by.

One of the men took off his cap, bowed his head and closed his eyes in contemplation.
His opponent commented, "That is one of the most touching things I've seen. You are a very feeling man."
The man, recovering himself, replied, "Yeah, well, we were married for 20 years."

A man runs into an old salty sea captain on the docks of Boston harbor and says,

"Cap'm, can't help but noticin'...you got a steerin' wheel secures to yer c**... there." Sea captain removes the pipe from 'tween his teeth and says, "Aye. It's drivin' me nuts."

In fallout, why are caps used as currency?

Because america is a CAPitalist country.

Why couldn't the pirate see the movie?!

the uploader forgot to take the lens-cap off after the movie started

I got a new stick of deodorant today.

The instructions said 'remove cap and push up bottom'
I can barely walk, but when I f**... the room smells wonderful

I just bought this new deodorant, the instructions said "remove cap and push up bottom"

I can hardly walk but when I f**... it smells amazing

HEY, HOW ARE YOU?

- Dude, press the Caps Lock key on your keyboard!
- WOW, THIS IS MUCH BETTER, I DON'T HAVE TO HOLD DOWN SHIFT ANYMORE

A pair of Arms, a pair of Legs and a head have a swimming race...

All contestants dive in, the arms take the lead with the legs just behind, however the head has sunk to the bottom. The arms eventually win, with the legs in second.
They recover the head and they asked what happened? The head replied "I've been training for 6 months using my ears and just before we start, some c**t put a swimming cap on me"
*Edit, spelling mistake

Did you hear about the new Christmas restaurant downtown?

They have an eggs Benedict dish that they service on car hub caps - it's called there's no plates like chrome for the hollandaise
Credit to Colin Mochrie.

Three Bills at a bar

Three men, one from America, one from Australia and one from Russia were sitting at a bar. To show off, the American picks up his revolver, shoots the cap off his bottle of beer, and proudly exlaims:
"My name is Bill. Buffalo Bill."
The Australian, not wanting to be any less of a man, picks up his boomerang and gives it a swing across the bar. It does a big circle, and on its way back it knocks the cap off his beer as well. He then says:
"My name is Bill. Crocodile Bill."
The Russian looks around nervously, then pulls his pants down, and proudly shows his two p**.... He then says:
"My name is Bill. Cherno Bill."

What did the paper clip say?

It looks like you're writing unsubstantiated nonsense. Would you like to turn on all caps?

Guys walks in to a parts store. Can I get a new gas cap for my Yugo?

The attendant replies, sounds like a fair trade to me.

Theresa May to put a cap on immigrants coming into the UK. I think this is unfair...

They should be allowed to wear what they like.

What do you call an Hispanic that's reached their level cap?

A Maxican.

I bought myself a new deodorant stick this morning.

The instructions say " remove cap and push up bottom ".
I can't walk very well at the moment, but every time I f**..., the room smells incredible.

A pianist performing in a subway terminal...

was playing beautifully. I was only offput by the weird looking kid with a dunce cap sitting atop the piano.
Suddenly, the weird looking kid with the dunce cap jumped up and scurried off. The piano player abruptly stopped playing.
I asked him, "why did you stop playing?"
To which he replied, "I cannot play piano without my metro-gnome."

I worked with a guy on a building site...

I once worked with a guy on a building site who never wore steel toe caps. When I asked him why, he said he didn't them. Turns out he was lactose intolerant.

A pirate captain says to his first mate...

Where are my buccaneers?
Aye Cap'n, they're the sides of your buccan' head!

f**... procession

Jim and Bob are playing golf when Jim notices the f**... procession go by on the highway. He kneels on one knee and takes off his golf cap as it goes by. After the procession is gone, Bob helps Jim up and pats him on the back, all while saying, That was so nice and thoughtful of you! Jim lines up his next shot and comments, I felt it was the right thing to do, after all we were married for 43 years.

Why couldn't the IT guy take his hat off?

Caps lock

Donald Trump announced that he wants to put a cap on immigrants in the near future.

That seems unfair. They should be allowed to wear whatever they want.

Q. I have a neck, but no head, and I wear a cap. What am I?

A. A bottle!

Q: Why do we have knee caps?

A: cuz TWO IS ENOUGH!

Ever wonder why the cap on gallon of milk isn't square?

Because the opening of the bottle is round.

I purchased a deodorant stick today

Instructions say, Remove cap and push up bottom
I can hardly walk but the room smells lovely when I f**....

Steve Rogers gets into Santa Claus's automobile...

...and is immediately shot dead.
RIP Steve Rogers.
He was capped in a merry car.

A young guy gets paired with an elderly man for a round of golf.

The old man lines up to putt on the fourth green, when they notice a f**... procession passing by the course.
The old man backs away from the putt, removes his cap, bows his head for a quick prayer, crosses himself, and returns to the putt.
After the hole, the young guy says, I'm impressed with your show of respect for the deceased .
Old guy says, Well, we were married 42 years... least I could do.

A soldier was having a psychiatric test prior to discharge.

The psychiatrist asked, "Tell me, Private, what would happen if I cut off one of your ears?"
"It would be hard to hear", replied the soldier.
"Good", said the psychiatrist. "What would happen If I cut off your other ear?"
"I wouldn't be able to see."
"That's interesting , why do you say that?"
"Because my cap would fall over my eyes."

Why couldn't the computer take its hat off?

It had CAPS lock on.

A guy walks into a car part store...

He says to the man behind the counter, "I need a gas cap for a Geo Metro."
The guy behind the counter thinks for a second and then says, "I think that's a fair trade."

What did the cap say to the tie while leaving?

You hang while I go on ahead.

I was having the worst possible day. To cap it off my baker s**... up the topping of my birthday dessert!

It was the icing on the cake.

How do you get rid of capitalism?

Just get rid of the shift and caps lock keys.

c**... pun

me: you know how sometimes caps lock locks you out of a website ,because you forgot to turn it off when typing the password
human society: yes
me: I guess caps lock is awfully shifty

A man is lying on a bench

Wearing nothing but a cap over his c**.... A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a lady, the hat would lift by itself."

IF YOU SEE A LINK TITLED JAMES CHARLES n**... , DON'T CLICK ON IT.

#IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR KEYBOARD ON PERMANENT CAPS LOCK.

When humans pee outside

It's probably the equivalent of ALL CAPS to the canine world.

What's the difference between black and white?

If you're white, you'll get Captain America.
If you're black, you'll get capped in America.

WARNING IF YOU HAVE SEEN A LINK ON THE INTERNET OFFERING FREE DONUTS, DO NOT CLICK ON IT.

IT IS A VIRUS THAT FORCES CAPS LOCK TO BE PERMANENTLY ACTIVATED ON YOUR COMPUTER!
// THE POLICE

My Google password is "SnowWhite&the7dwarves"

Because it said I needed at least 8 characters, including caps, a number and a symbol

I got a new deodorant today.

The instructions said "remove cap and push up bottom".
Now I can hardly walk, but my farts smell AWESOME