All Caps Jokes
138 all caps jokes and hilarious all caps puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about all caps that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest All Caps Short Jokes
Short all caps jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The all caps humour may include short capital letters jokes also.
- Did you know that you can fit any boat on your head like a hat, if you flip it over? That makes it cap sized
- I bought a new deodorant yesterday. The instructions say "Remove cap and push up bottom." Wouldn't it be better to put it under your arms?
- My Uncle said this now that there are two popes Two popes walk into a bar with Yankee caps on.
The bartender says, "Didn't you guys use to be Cardinals?" - I got stopped by a woman cop with "LAPD" on her cap I said, where's your colleague with "ANCE" on hers?
- I went to the dentist to put all caps on my teeth... ...now I can't help but shout every time I talk.
- Just bought a new deodorant... The instructions say 'remove cap and push up bottom.'
...which helps with the smell, admittedly, but hurts a lot! - A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder... He orders a beer.
Popping off the cap, the bartender says Wow! Where did you get that?
The parrot replies, Africa. - A person walks into an auto shop and says I'd like a gas cap for my KIA.
The car mechanic thinks for a few moments says, OK, that seems like a fair trade. - A pirate captain says to his first mate... Where are my buccaneers?
Aye Cap'n, they're the sides of your buccan' head! - Why are people so worried about Hurricane Matthew's wind speeds? I thought CAT4 was capped at 16Mbps.
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All Caps One Liners
Which all caps one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with all caps? I can suggest the ones about capitalization and lowercase.
- What do prison and the Caps Lock button have in common? They both turn o into an O .
- Why does Superman have a lower case "s" on his chest? Because not all heroes wear caps.
- Why couldnt the laptop take off his hat? He had caps lock on.
- Who is Cap'n Crunch's superior Officer? General Mills
- How do snowmen keep their heads warm during the winter solstice? They wear "ice" caps!
- What does a barista wear? A cap and chinos.
- IF I SCAM SOMEONE WITH CAPS LOCK ON.. IS IT A CAPITAL CRIME?
- Why don't Korean captains wear hats? Because they don't know what to do with cap sizes.
- Did you know you can turn a canoe over and use it as a hat? Because it's Cap-sized.
- Al Pacino's brother is steaming that his parents... named him Cap.
- How big was the iceberg that sank the Titanic? Cap size
- Why don't witches wear a flat cap? There's no point to it
- My girlfriend is insisting on a shower cap for me. Apparently 8 a day is too many.
- Just got a petrol cap for my Skoda... ...seemed like a good trade.
- In fallout, why are caps used as currency? Because america is a CAPitalist country.
All Caps Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about all caps you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean spelling out words jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make all caps pranks.
It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father.
"Let’s try to make this look natural" she said. "Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder."
The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?"
A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.
CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.
Dave and John are playing a round of golf...
Dave is lining up his put on the 8th green when they hear a car coming along the road that runs parallel to the course. Upon seeing a hearse, Dave stands away from his ball, takes his cap off and bows his head until it passes.
"That was very decent of you Dave."
"Yea, she was a good wife."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two men playing golf (a favourite of mine)
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long f**... procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."
The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a t**... and a pirate's dad?
One's poppin' caps, and the other's cap'n pops!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Topical Jokes (5/25-5/26)
Hey, sorry for the tardiness! Been on the road lately. Here's some jokes to cap up the last couple days.
Governor Christie met with Snooki over the weekend, but things got a tad awkward when Christie licked his lips and asked, "But seriously, are you actually a meatball?"
Big Catholic news, the Pope recently stated that it is possible for atheists to go to Heaven. However, what he didn't say is once they get there, they have to spend all eternity helping Buddha squeeze into his yoga pants.
In entertainment, "Fast and Furious 6" critics say the film did not live up to the hype. Especially when the first 45 minutes of the film were Vin Diesel sitting in his Dodge Neon scanning Tokyo radio for a Limp Bizkit station.
Bad news, a m**... tax bill stalled in Colorado. Glossy-eyed congressmen promise they'll finish the bill as soon as this rad 'Stairway' solo is over.
In a recent speech, Biden hinted that government research is often wasteful. Such as Biden's $3 million study on if he saw Bigfoot getting the paper yesterday or just Sarah Palin before her morning shave.
And finally some science news. A recent marine study found that fish can use sign language. However, what was more surprising was the terrifying gang signs used by the east L.A. river fish crew, "Gills that Kills".
Thanks for reading! Been pretty busy lately so I'm making sure I produce some material for you guys to check out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Polish joke
A Polish man named Wojciech was fed up with being called a dumb p**... by every one he met. So one day he decided to pretend to be German. Wearing Liederhosen, knee socks and a feathered cap, he walked into a shop and told the man behind the counter:
"Hello my name is Rolf and I would like to buy some schnitzel, some saurbraten, some pretzels and some beer."
The counterman said "Get outta here you dumb p**...!".
Wojciech cried, "No no no! I am German! Don't you see my Liederhosen? Why do you think I am Polish?"
The counterman says "This is a hardware store."
10 year old told me this one at the cap I work at: "Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road?"
"Well he tried, but the new Google car doesn't have any feelings, and well... You know..."
Why don't mountains get cold?
They wear snow caps. *cringe*
^Courtesy ^of ^Westjet's ^horrible ^phone ^line.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A joke about golfers.
Two men were playing golf one afternoon when just as they are about to play an important putt on the final hole for the match a large f**... procession passes by on the road at the side of the golf course. One of the men stops in mid putt, removes his cap, bows his head in prayer. The second man retorts "Woah man, that was really respectful". "Well, we had been married for over 25 years" said the other man.
What do u call a disadvantage for being east-indian
Hindi-capped
People that type in all caps are...
Capitalists.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Today it's National t**... Cap Day
Hats off to whoever founded it.
So a Hipster goes into an auto parts store and asks for a fuel cap for his Smart Car.
The sales guy thinks for a moment and says, Yeah, O.K. that is a fair swap.
What did the man in the wheelchair say when he returned the hat he borrowed?
Thanks for the handy cap.
The Zika virus is spreading across the Americas. In other news...
sales of Extra Small Baseball caps are on the rise.
What's the most useful type of hat?
A handy-cap
If Steve Rogers was a drink, what drink would he be?
An Iced Cap
Ironically
Caps 'Lock' is a 'Key'.
How can you tell Cap'n Crunch is terrible?
He hasn't been promoted since 1963...
Republicans were just informed about the effects of Global Warming on the polar ice caps
They're losing their cool!
I love Al Pacino.
But it's his brother Cap that really gets me going.
I lost my cap
I lost the cap of my pen....
It's decapitated now.
Police officer to a driver: OK, driver's license, vehicle license, first aid kit and warning triangle.
Driver: Nah, I've already got all that. But how much for that funny Captain's cap?"
I had this problem where the cap wouldn't stay on my whiskey bottle.
So I fixed it with scotch tape.
What do Caps Lock and prison have in common?
A minor touch and you get capital punishment.
How do you tell if someone online is American?
They keep their caps locked and guns loaded.
(Not the best and not original)
Hey @realDonaldTrump, try pressing the caps lock key...
@realDonaldTrump: O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!
Once this whole "global warming thing" melts the ice caps
We're gonna have a canoe world order.
Why did Club Penguin shut down?
The Republicans melted the ice caps.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man runs into an old salty sea captain on the docks of Boston harbor and says,
"Cap'm, can't help but noticin'...you got a steerin' wheel secures to yer c**... there." Sea captain removes the pipe from 'tween his teeth and says, "Aye. It's drivin' me nuts."
Why do pirates always have white faces?
Because of their cap-tan.
Why couldn't the pirate see the movie?!
the uploader forgot to take the lens-cap off after the movie started
When Mario collects coins with his cap in Super Mario Odissey,...
you for sure know he is very _cappytalistic._
I texted my buddy 'you free this evening?'
He texted back a selfie featuring his red, white and blue cap 'I'm free every evening'
(I know it's not your typical joke but I laughed when I got it). Have a happy and safe Independence Day, USA!
how to keep all your work you've typed up in microsoft word.
you need a paper clip and a chainsaw to tell clippy to stop telling me to turn all caps.
The store I work at received a bunch of baseball caps with Pikachu on them. My manager held one up and said, "You know what would happen if you put this on?"
"You'd look like an Ash hat!"
Did you hear about the Irish guy with a metal detector?
He dug 25 meters down where he discovered he was wearing steel toe cap boots
HEY, HOW ARE YOU?
- Dude, press the Caps Lock key on your keyboard!
- WOW, THIS IS MUCH BETTER, I DON'T HAVE TO HOLD DOWN SHIFT ANYMORE
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A pair of Arms, a pair of Legs and a head have a swimming race...
All contestants dive in, the arms take the lead with the legs just behind, however the head has sunk to the bottom. The arms eventually win, with the legs in second.
They recover the head and they asked what happened? The head replied "I've been training for 6 months using my ears and just before we start, some c**t put a swimming cap on me"
*Edit, spelling mistake
What's the best vegetable to wear on your head?
A cap-sicum!
What did the tomato say to the baseball cap?
You go on a head, I'll ketchup later.
What is Steve Rogers' favorite cut of beef?
Cap meat
Next time you're at a Waffle House, ask for the Kennedy special.
It's a hashbrown double capped.
Did you hear about the new Christmas restaurant downtown?
They have an eggs Benedict dish that they service on car hub caps - it's called there's no plates like chrome for the hollandaise
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three Bills at a bar
Three men, one from America, one from Australia and one from Russia were sitting at a bar. To show off, the American picks up his revolver, shoots the cap off his bottle of beer, and proudly exlaims:
"My name is Bill. Buffalo Bill."
The Australian, not wanting to be any less of a man, picks up his boomerang and gives it a swing across the bar. It does a big circle, and on its way back it knocks the cap off his beer as well. He then says:
"My name is Bill. Crocodile Bill."
The Russian looks around nervously, then pulls his pants down, and proudly shows his two p**.... He then says:
"My name is Bill. Cherno Bill."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the paper clip say?
It looks like you're writing unsubstantiated nonsense. Would you like to turn on all caps?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Theresa May to put a cap on immigrants coming into the UK. I think this is unfair...
They should be allowed to wear what they like.
NO I WOULD NOT LIKE TO TURN ON ALL CAPS.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an Hispanic that's reached their level cap?
A Maxican.
A pianist performing in a subway terminal...
was playing beautifully. I was only offput by the weird looking kid with a dunce cap sitting atop the piano.
Suddenly, the weird looking kid with the dunce cap jumped up and scurried off. The piano player abruptly stopped playing.
I asked him, "why did you stop playing?"
To which he replied, "I cannot play piano without my metro-gnome."
I worked with a guy on a building site...
I once worked with a guy on a building site who never wore steel toe caps. When I asked him why, he said he didn't them. Turns out he was lactose intolerant.
While buying groceries I saw a guy smashing several boxes of Cap'n Crunch and Frosted Flakes on the ground for no reason,
Call me paranoid but I think he might be a cereal killer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Donald Trump announced that he wants to put a cap on immigrants in the near future.
That seems unfair. They should be allowed to wear whatever they want.
AAPLs market cap off $1T is equivalent to Florida's GDP
Of course, that's comparing apples to oranges.
Papa John's apparently got bought by the NRA
Now it's called Papa Cap
Q. I have a neck, but no head, and I wear a cap. What am I?
A. A bottle!
Q: Why do we have knee caps?
A: cuz TWO IS ENOUGH!
Ever wonder why the cap on gallon of milk isn't square?
Because the opening of the bottle is round.
Steve Rogers gets into Santa Claus's automobile...
...and is immediately shot dead.
RIP Steve Rogers.
He was capped in a merry car.
Why don't boats like it when Steve Rogers stares at them?
Cap's eyes
What did the man who is in dire need of a kidney transplant say to the young man with a broken knee cap?
I don't need your bad kid knees.