The Best 88 Aliens Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Aliens jokes. There are some aliens foreigners jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these aliens ufo puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Aliens Jokes and Puns

If America is storming Area 51 then the Europeans can storm the Vatican

We'll take the aliens, you get the predators

Why haven't Aliens visited our Solar System yet? ...

They looked at the reviews...
Only 1 star.

What is an aliens favorite keyboard key

The space key

Aliens joke, What is an aliens favorite keyboard key

Two aliens sitting in a bar...

The first looks at the second and says "bleep loop do dooee day baaarrggg"

The second looks ask at the first a d says "shut up frank, you're drunk"

So aliens from Mars comes down to Earth...

...And they're friendly! The leaders of the world and the aliens plan a huge televised event where the leaders can ask questions on whatever they want.

During this event, the pope is up to talk to the aliens.

"I know this question may sound odd to you gentlemen," the pope starts to ask, "but I was wondering if you and your kind knew about Jesus Christ?"

"Jesus Christ?!?" the alien leader exclaims, "how do we not! He swings by our planet every two years or so. Awesome guy!"

Now this obviously starts a huge debate within the UN, as this information now has implications to everything they knew. The pope, however, is not exactly a happy person as his brain is on other information.

"EVERY TWO YEARS OR SO?!?" The pope exclaims, "We've still been waiting for his SECOND coming!"

Trying to calm down the pope, the aliens say "Well maybe he didn't like your chocolate."

The pope, upon hearing this news, takes a few moments to calm down. When he finally regains his composure, he states calmly, "Forgive me, but what does chocolate have anything to do with this?"

The aliens respond, "Well when he was on our planet, we would give him huge boxes of chocolates. Why, what did you guys do when he was here?"


What do aliens use for currency?

Starbucks!

What do aliens use to buy their coffee?

starbucks

Aliens joke, What do aliens use to buy their coffee?

Two aliens are talking aboard their ship

Alien 1: Did the humans get our message?

Alien 2: Yes, but they named it dubstep and are dancing to it

Alien 1: Idiots

Why do aliens only abduct white people?

Because they are easier to see in the dark.

What do you call a Marshmallow eaten by Aliens?

A Mars-mallow

Just been chatting to my neighbour's teenage daughter and it turns out she's really into UFOs and aliens.

Which is cool because tomorrow she's getting abducted.

You can explore aliens scifi reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean aliens earther dad jokes. There are also aliens puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why are aliens green?

Because of the lawn clippings!

When the US went to the moon....

...they planted the American Flag. After all these years the radiation from the Sun will have bleached it completely white, so now if Aliens find it they are going to think the French were there first.

Interviewer: Name one of your accomplishments

Applicant:Well I discovered aliens, outside my house and managed to learn their language.
Interviewer:That seems rather complicated...
Applicant:Well Spanish isn't hard to learn sir.

Why did the aliens choose to not invade and enslave the human race?

Because they're not garbage collectors.

Why haven't we found aliens yet ?

because they are searching for intelligent life too.

Aliens joke, Why haven't we found aliens yet ?

What if aliens are responsible for global warming?

And this is just their way of breaking the ice.

When aliens don't understand 9/11 comedy...

We should say:

'Its fine. It was an inside-joke.'

What do you call a few Mexicans on the moon?

Legal aliens


How do aliens pay for their coffees?

With Starbucks!

Did you know that the number of legs in the air of a horse statue indicate how its rider died?

If there are no legs in the air, the rider survived the war.
If there is one leg in the air, the rider was mortally wounded and died after a battle.
If there are two legs in the air, the rider was killed in battle.
If there are three legs in the air, the rider died in a tragic circus accident.
If there are four legs in the air, the rider was abducted by aliens and died in space.

So I heard today...

Trump's wall budget is 3 Billion more than NASA's budget for the year...apparently NASA doesn't deal with as many aliens as trump does.

Trump's wall will cost 21.6 billion, Nasa's budget is only 19 billion

Probably because Mexico has more aliens

A couple of Aliens land in the middle of Jerusalem and see all the worshippers...

One looks to the other and says "See, they still believe your bullshit, pay up!"

I hope aliens don't land in the USA and say "take me to your leader"

How embarrassing would that be

Two Aliens meet at a Bar in Deep Space

Two Aliens meet in a bar in deep space.

**First Alien:** On my way here I passed a beautiful blue world, 2/3 covered by water, The dominant race have discovered Satellite technology and Harnessed the power of nuclear weapons for defense.

**Second Alien:** Interesting, so it looks like we have an emerging intelligence in the Galaxy.

**First Alien:** That is what i thought but then I realized they pointed them at themselves.

Two thristy aliens landed on my keyboard

They were looking for the space bar

What if dinosaur bones were only found on Earth...

Because aliens used this planet as a pet cemetery?

Two aliens sit in a bar...

One alien tells the other "toodleoop-poodledoop-teedledoop?".
Other alien says "Go home, you're drunk".

What's the difference between illegal aliens and space aliens?

Occasionally, space aliens will go back to where they came from.

Two aliens are flying near earth

The first one says, "The dominant life form here have developed satellite based nuclear weapons."

The second one says, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"

The first one says, "I don't think so, they have it aimed at themselves."

So aliens flew by our planet recently and one asked the other...

Alien 1 How advanced is that civilization?

Alien 2 They have discovered nuclear technology.

Alien 1 Oh boy... That's pretty intelligent. We better keep our distance then from their missles.

Alien 2 Nah, they're not that smart yet. They have em pointed at themselves.

Why did aliens vote for Bernie Sanders?

Universal Healthcare

I was abducted by aliens last night

I tried to communicate, but I didn't know Spanish

How can you get aliens to destroy their own kind?

split them into groups and teach them different religions.

Why don't aliens visit our solar system?

Terrible ratings. One star.

Ever wondered why only morons report being abducted by Aliens?

Because the Aliens don't keep the stupid ones.

Aliens do exist!

They're illegal in America. It's a law.

The real reason aliens won't visit our solar system

We have the worst ratings, only one star β˜€οΈ

Aliens suckered humans into making mass temples

It was the first pyramid scheme

Aliens visit, and their first question is: "what's changed in the last 3000 years?"

Aliens: "what's changed in the last 3000 years?"

Humans: "well, we were worshipping cats, drinking beer, and smoking weed... and then we made it to developing technology that can destroy this entire planet, and pretty soon we'll have unlimited energy from that tech."

Aliens: "Impressive. Good thing you stopped worshipping cats, drinking beer, and smoking weed."

Humans:

A guy walks into a Muslim bookstore wearing a Make America Great Again hat...

As he was wandering around taking a look, the clerk asked if he could help the man find anything.
Β 
Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. immigration policy regarding Muslims and illegal aliens?
Β 
The clerk said, Kiss my ass… get out… and stay out!
Β 
The man said, Yes, that's the one.Β  Do you have it in paperback?

Hello! Police! I was kidnapped by aliens!

"Sir! Are you drunk?"

"Yes, but it's coincidence."

In space, two aliens are talking to each other very closely

The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."

The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"

The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have aimed at themselves"

What do you get when you buy 3 aliens but they give you 5?

Extra terrestrials.

Where do aliens go fishing?

In the galax-sea

"We have smaller, secret pants that we wear under our normal pants..."

Me explaining underwear to aliens.

Why is there a broken phonograph in the Baseball Hall of Fame?

Because it was a record player.

I'm tired and rebuilding a Victrola. If this is a repost, then good, all the ancient aliens people can suck it with their "evidence". Sometimes multiple people just get the same idea for fuckall reason.

Gorillas see us how we see aliens, skinnier, smarter, less hair

Or you might call them Asians

What's the number one social media platform preferred by aliens?

Spacebook

Why do aliens avoid having sex in public?

They prefer to come in peace

If you've been kidnapped by immigrants

You've been abducted by aliens

"Aliens vs Predator" is a good title for a movie...

... about the current situation of USA Immigration.

Two Aliens

2 aliens are talking in outer space, looking down on Earth.

"It seems the inhabitants of planet Earth have created nuclear technology and missiles" says one alien

"are they showing signs of intelligence?" asks the other

"I dont think so. They seem to be aiming at themselves"ο»Ώ

Aliens and Humans

"Alien: why should I not blow up this planet?

Human: we are an advanced species

A: how do you travel?

H: we light old dinosaurs on fire"

Star ratings!

Maybe aliens haven't visited our solar system yet because we only have one star.

They probably prefer going to systems with a 4-5 star rating.

Why don't aliens visit the solar system

They look at the reviews and see it only has 1 star

If aliens really landed in America

"Take me to your leader"

"... you sure?"

How come aliens haven't checked out earth?

They couldn't get past Uranus.

why have aliens never visited our solar system?

because they saw the reviews only had 1 star

Aliens may in fact be pro bono proctologists from another planet

Uranus , possibly

Chuck Norris was abducted by aliens.

The aliens were never seen again.

Aliens are racist

Whenever they come to earth, they only visit USA.

Aliens haven't visited our solar system yet because we only have 1 star.

They'll want to visit solar systems with 4 or 5 stars

Why haven't aliens come to our solar system?

They checked our reviews.

One star.

Why haven't aliens gone to our planet yet

They saw it had one star

If Americans raid Area 51, then Europeans should try for Vatican.

Americans will get the aliens, others will get the predators.

Why haven't aliens visited our solar system?

Because it only has one star.

Why havent aliens visited us

They looked at the reviews, we were rated 1 star

You'll only get this if you're Scottish

(Came up with this when I was 8. Let's just say that I don't think it's as good as I thought it was all those years ago!)

What did the sandwich aliens say when they landed on Earth?

"We come in a piece."

There was company that sold sex toys to aliens.

It was SpaceXXX.

What do Mexicans call aliens?

Greengos

How do aliens make babies?

They have SpaceX

Those aliens that abduct cows must be gamblers.

They're always raising the steaks.

What do you call aliens who are very loud and over the top?

The EXTRA-terrestrials.

Today we celebrate Independence Day!

For those that don't know their history, this was the day in 1996 that Will Smith saved the Earth from aliens.

Why do aliens never visit earth

Because it has one star

Maybe Jesus didn't like your chocolates

So aliens come to earth and they're Sooo nice. There's a huge televised event with all the world leaders in attendance.

The Pope asks, "Do you know of Jesus Christ?"

The aliens say, "Do we Ever? Awesome guy!! Swings by the planet every couple of years to say Hi!"

The Pope exclaims, "Every couple of years?? What!!?? We're still waiting for his second coming!"

The alien replies, "Maybe he didn't like your chocolate?"

The Pope is flabbergasted, "What does chocolate have to do with anything?"

The alien says, "Well when he came the first time, we gave him a huge box of chocolates! Why? What did you guys give him?"

A very very Very old joke :)

Why has our solar system never been visited by aliens?

Bad reviews; only one star.

Credit's to Sebastion Elytron; where ever you may be.

How do redneck aliens abduct people?

Tractor beam

Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet?

They checked the reviews.. only 1 star

Aliens arrive to earth, "Let's invade that area first, humans called it Poland"

"Why that area first?"



"It seems a habit around here..."

Aliens come to earth...

They meet with all the world leaders. Eventually it's the Pope's turn to chat to them. He asks the one alien, Greetings alien, what do you think of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?
The alien exclaims, Ah, JC! He's my boy! We have a massive party when he visits us once a year!
He visits you once a year? The Pope asks in astonishment. He hasn't been to earth in more than two millennia! How did you manage that?!
Well, when he first came to our planet we gave him a box of our finest chocolates. What did you guys do?

What would you hear at a very long opera about aliens?

Aria 51.

Whats the difference between scientology and ancient aliens?

One is an alien-based pyramid scheme and the other is a pyramid-based alien scheme.

Aliens refuse to visit Earth because they've looked up our solar system...

and it has a 1-star rating.

I told my wife I'd never leave her unless aliens came to take me.

It has taken 30 years but I finally have enough for Industrial Light and Magic to do an alien abduction scene.

Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet?

They checked the reviews... but we only had one star

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the aliens alien wife swap jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working aliens alien sex piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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