Following is our collection of Alien jokes which are very funny. There are some alien nonnative jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these alien extraterrestrial puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
They looked at the reviews...
Only 1 star.
The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"
And he sees a little green alien behind the counter. He asks for a hot donut.
The alien says, "Broken, our fryer is. Yesterday's donuts, I can sell you. Also, donut ingredients, we still have."
But the man is really craving a warm donut, so he asks, "Are you absolutely sure I can't get a freshly-made donut?"
"Only two options have you!" says the alien. "Dough or donut - there is no fry."
The space key
Harry, Bill, and Steve are siting at the corner bar, when Ted walks in looking distressed. "Ted, you look awful. What's wrong?" Harry asks.
Ted says, "Last night I got really drunk and was abducted by an alien." Everyone is shocked. Bill asks, "What did the alien do to you?" "All I remember is being anally probed." Ted says. Everyone is horrified. "I heard that they'll do that." Says Harry. "What did the alien look like?" Ted responds, "Steve."
The first looks at the second and says "bleep loop do dooee day baaarrggg"
The second looks ask at the first a d says "shut up frank, you're drunk"
...And they're friendly! The leaders of the world and the aliens plan a huge televised event where the leaders can ask questions on whatever they want.
During this event, the pope is up to talk to the aliens.
"I know this question may sound odd to you gentlemen," the pope starts to ask, "but I was wondering if you and your kind knew about Jesus Christ?"
"Jesus Christ?!?" the alien leader exclaims, "how do we not! He swings by our planet every two years or so. Awesome guy!"
Now this obviously starts a huge debate within the UN, as this information now has implications to everything they knew. The pope, however, is not exactly a happy person as his brain is on other information.
"EVERY TWO YEARS OR SO?!?" The pope exclaims, "We've still been waiting for his SECOND coming!"
Trying to calm down the pope, the aliens say "Well maybe he didn't like your chocolate."
The pope, upon hearing this news, takes a few moments to calm down. When he finally regains his composure, he states calmly, "Forgive me, but what does chocolate have anything to do with this?"
The aliens respond, "Well when he was on our planet, we would give him huge boxes of chocolates. Why, what did you guys do when he was here?"
Alien VS Predator
Starbucks!
Alien vs. Predator
They're calling it Alien vs Predator.
You can explore alien foreigner reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean alien astronauts dad jokes. There are also alien puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."
The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves."
Alien 1: Did the humans get our message?
Alien 2: Yes, but they named it dubstep and are dancing to it
Alien 1: Idiots
Alien vs predator.
Alien vs. Predator
Alien vs Predator.
I finally saw Alien vs Predator
Would it be called Alien vs Predator?
It's called "Eat-T, The Extra Cholesterol".
An Extramolestrial
An extra-cholesterol.
...I'm so sorry.
Alien vs predator
Alien vs. Predator
The astronaut doesn't say anything to the alien.
The alien doesn't say anything to the astronaut.
And this is just their way of breaking the ice.
He was an Extra Tourettes-trial.
With Starbucks!
Personally, I think she took the joke a bit too far.
Alien Scout: Sir, the Humans appear to possess massive military capabilities, nuclear weapons included.
Alien Commander: This is problematic, are they really such an intelligent species?
Alien Scout: Apparently not Sir, they appear to have them pointed at themselves.
...so do I take him to the president, my wife, or my cat???
Two Aliens meet in a bar in deep space.
**First Alien:** On my way here I passed a beautiful blue world, 2/3 covered by water, The dominant race have discovered Satellite technology and Harnessed the power of nuclear weapons for defense.
**Second Alien:** Interesting, so it looks like we have an emerging intelligence in the Galaxy.
**First Alien:** That is what i thought but then I realized they pointed them at themselves.
E.T. learned English and went home.
The first one says, "The dominant life form here have developed satellite based nuclear weapons."
The second one says, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first one says, "I don't think so, they have it aimed at themselves."
Aliiien!
I googled it and found the reason...
It's rated only '1 star' out there.
Alien 1 How advanced is that civilization?
Alien 2 They have discovered nuclear technology.
Alien 1 Oh boy... That's pretty intelligent. We better keep our distance then from their missles.
Alien 2 Nah, they're not that smart yet. They have em pointed at themselves.
Alien 2: Are they an emerging intelligence?
Alien 1: I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves.
Wait until they are ripe!
* I'm either really tired, or this is so stupid it's hilarious
Alien VS predator
split them into groups and teach them different religions.
Terrible ratings. One star.
It was Alien vs. Predator
Asteroids.
If and illegal immigrant fought a child molester, would it be considered alien vs. predator?
The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."
The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have aimed at themselves"
Is it Alien Vs Predator?
Take me to your liter.
They prefer to come in peace
2 aliens are talking in outer space, looking down on Earth.
"It seems the inhabitants of planet Earth have created nuclear technology and missiles" says one alien
"are they showing signs of intelligence?" asks the other
"I dont think so. They seem to be aiming at themselves"
"Alien: why should I not blow up this planet?
Human: we are an advanced species
A: how do you travel?
H: we light old dinosaurs on fire"
With Star Bucks.
They look at the reviews and see it only has 1 star
"Take me to your leader"
"... you sure?"
Would it be his Space Ex?
Vendor: Welcome, unfortunately we are very limited on brains right now and there are only 2 available.
Alien: I'll take a look.
Vendor: Well, here's the brain of Albert Einstein. He was very intelligent and was the reason behind much of human science. This is priced at $2. Here is the brain of someone who has watched every single "Keeping up with the Kardashians" episodes ever. It's listed at $200.
Alien: Woah, you're trying to rip me off. Why is the brain of someone that dumb worth so much?
Vendor: Simple, because this brain hasn't been used before.
Alien vs Predator
because they saw the reviews only had 1 star
Alien vs predator
They checked our reviews.
One star.
He orders a drink. After some time he taps the waiter and says "beep". After 5 minutes he does it again. He does it repeatedly until the waiter says "I swear to God, if you do that one more time I'm gonna chop your balls off!" Alien responds "I don't have any balls". The waiter says "Then how do you have sex?". The alien responds by tapping the waiter and saying "beep"
They sit down when suddenly Mark spills his drink on The Popes' robes. They get into a fight. A film crew recorded them duking it out and made a film out of it...
Alien vs Predator
They're always raising the steaks.
Because it has one star
Alien versus Redditor.
So aliens come to earth and they're Sooo nice. There's a huge televised event with all the world leaders in attendance.
The Pope asks, "Do you know of Jesus Christ?"
The aliens say, "Do we Ever? Awesome guy!! Swings by the planet every couple of years to say Hi!"
The Pope exclaims, "Every couple of years?? What!!?? We're still waiting for his second coming!"
The alien replies, "Maybe he didn't like your chocolate?"
The Pope is flabbergasted, "What does chocolate have to do with anything?"
The alien says, "Well when he came the first time, we gave him a huge box of chocolates! Why? What did you guys give him?"
A very very Very old joke :)
Alien vs Redditor
They checked the reviews.. only 1 star
"Why that area first?"
"It seems a habit around here..."
They meet with all the world leaders. Eventually it's the Pope's turn to chat to them. He asks the one alien, Greetings alien, what do you think of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?
The alien exclaims, Ah, JC! He's my boy! We have a massive party when he visits us once a year!
He visits you once a year? The Pope asks in astonishment. He hasn't been to earth in more than two millennia! How did you manage that?!
Well, when he first came to our planet we gave him a box of our finest chocolates. What did you guys do?
Alien: Take me to your leader
Me: Your going to have to wait 10-12 business days for us to sort that out.
One is an alien-based pyramid scheme and the other is a pyramid-based alien scheme.
and it has a 1-star rating.
Can we wait a month? I asked for the sake of humanity.
It has taken 30 years but I finally have enough for Industrial Light and Magic to do an alien abduction scene.
goes home with an alien abduction story.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the alien alien wife swap jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working alien alien sex piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.